It was a dark and stormy xmas eve day at the Evil Concil of DARKNESS's Fortress of Saddess and Meanness. The Masked Man was overseeing the training of evil doods training from a VIP sky box with a roarking firecase ad a glass of fine wine.
The henchmen weren't in the best situation though, thwy were a;; wearing flimsy muscle shirts and ugly oversized sweatpants practicing their evil tai chi on wooden dummies of Iris, Gary ak (his dummy was made of redwood and not oak like you would think) and Pikabert,all in thw bone-chilling snow. Their noses were all red and many have develpoed hypothermia in there wrists.
They trained all the way til sunset when the Masked Man spoke up. "Henchdudes, I have received a text message from our Master and I have ood news and bad new. The good new is you're all training tonight and intoo tomorrow!"
A wave of sorrow and anguish cried from the goons. "But sensei it's Christmas Eveand we should be with our lions nes and celebrating togetherness and Jesus!," cried out one of the henchmen wearing tattered sweatpants and overcoat.
"Fine since you want to han out with your family and have your self a christmad party then they shall train with ypu," The Masked man laughed out with meanness. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY SON IS AA CRIPPLE WITH A BROKEN LEG AND HAS CANCER IN HIS OTHER LEG AND THE MISSUS IS PREGNANT, PLEASE HAVE MERCY," tattered man pleaded and cried his tears turned into articunos since it was cold outside and they flew off south since it was cold.
Maskeu contemplated this thought but decided against it sine even he was not that evil as to make a pregant lady practice fighting. "Alright fine knave, you are allowed to spread Xmas with them BUT NO PAY AND INVITATION TO OUR EVIL HENCHDOODES PIZZAZ AND ICE CREAM SOCIAL NEXT YEAR!11!11"
Tattered faher smlimed and bowed with graditdude,"oh thank you sir! You are a sanint and a Virgin Mary! Thany Kon!"
"If that was the good news then what is the bad news," some other HD asked.
Maksy hesitated but eventually found the courage and bellowed," the bad new is our new uniforms are in...AND THEY LOOK ATROCIOUS!" With that Masky held up his blackberry with the image of the new gi's and a TSUNAMI of pained dying animal cries sand out. Henchdoodes wiere clawing out each others eyes and faces were malting at the terrible articles of clothing. Someomne grabbed an electrode and blew himself up.
Later that yulite night in Masky's bedchambers in his forever lazy was nuzzling down for bed time. "Boy golly I can't wait to wake up tomorrow and resume my evil and trainin!" But then the indow shudders blew open and a roast appeared! He had a spooky green hair and tuxedo. It was...Celine!
"Masked Ninja Man...,"Cilan whaled with ghostly aspiritions," You will be visited tonight by 3 other spirits and leave the true meaning of xmas!"
"But why me," Masked Man asked shaking from fear and not coldness even though his windows were open cause of his Forever Lazy.
"Duh because your a horrible evil person," Silan stated matter afactly. Cilan then made the Masky some tea and crumpets because he felt bad for him but triped over his ghost chains and fell out the window and died.
"Well that was queer," Masky shurrged and went to sleep.
However his sleep was quikly disturbed by a sound of scarfs fapping. Masky opened his eyes with GREG. This ghost had spiritual scarfs and a headband. It was...Morty!
"I am Morty, Ghost ym Leaeder of Ecterteats City and The Ghost of Xmas Past. I'm here to show you Xmas in the past," Morty shrilled and his shadowy scarf tied around the Masked Man and they flew off into the crisp night air.
They eventually arrived in the past, Masky could tell by all the top hats and 5 cent Malt Shops. Morty and Masky flew towards an orphanae. "Hey this looks strangely familirar..." Masky said as they rot closer.
"I should hope so for...THIS IS YOU'RE CHUDHOOD MASKED MAN!"
They were standing in the grounds of the orphanae when a little red chaired boy stepped out in thr show holding a oidgey in his hands. "Hey thats me," Masked Mas gasped surprised. Morty just rolled his eyes," I just told you that bro..."
The youner Masky gently placed the pidgey on the gate ledge. "Go on Pidge and find me my daddy!" Morty and MAsky watched and a tears formed in Masky eyes. Poppop..., he muttered under his breath. The pidgey took off into the sky. Then the door of the orphanae came out. "You, Boy #513! Get back in here and deck ALL THE HALLS IN THE ORPHANAGE and SCRUBB THE WINDOWS are NO DINER FOR YOU TONIGHT," the orphange headmaster bellowed with drunken bread.
The little red-haired kid silently and slowly went back inside but not before quietly saying,"someday..."
Morty stood stoticly. "Now do you see why you make your subdormats work on xmas! Now do you understand," Morty declared looking at Masky but gasped. Masty was runnning towards the orphagne with a fireaxe!
"What are you doing man! These are only shadows of the past! You cannot change the future, not this way," Morty called out as Masky axe phased through some head without killing them. Morty's snarf grappled Masky in disgust and dumped him back in his bed.
Masky cuddled with his stuff Pikachu doll and cried himself to sleep wile eating Hogen-Ass ice cream.
Some time later the 2nd spirit came and was a nosey one at that. "WOHOHOHOHO" Fatina laughed as she entered Masky's bedroom.
"WHO THE EFF ARE YUO," Masky shouted angry pillows covering his rining ears.
"I am the ghost of Xmas Presnet," Fantine frenched in english," Im here to show you other peoplez xmases! Allons-y!"
The first stop was in Pallettown at Oak's lab. "spirit why have you brought me here," an disgruntled Masked Man asked.
Oak, Ash, Misty, and Brock were all dancinng merrily around the decorated lab singing drunken songs abut a holiday bash and giving satan a pikachu. Masky's skin started to crawl under his mask at the disgusting display.
"Tu see Maske' that they are having a good time wee?"
"I don't see wghat any of this has to do with m-"
Oak raised a goblet in the air. "Heres to Albert Wesker, my former colleage and lover," Ash's mFuk glomped Oak in jealous rage. "Aside from you of course honey."
Everyone laughed, including Masky and Fantina's whose laugh could break windows but she was a ghost so they didn't. Ash however was looking down downcasted and Misty began worry. "Ash whats wrong?" "Nothing..." Ash replied looking up directly at Fantina and Masky outside.
"Oh ze noez he haz zpotted uz, allons-y," Fantina said and they went to a different house.
The nex house they went to was not really much of a house, more of a broken van in the middle of a garbage dump. Masky looked around confused. There were empty boxes of hot pockets everywhere and used diapers and packs of junkyard dogs with bandanas fighting. Who could possiblely live in a horrid place like this!
" A little to the left Margret," said a familar voice that made Masky's bluud run cold.
turns out they were really from the the Tattered Henchdude's family, who were busy decorating their pigsty of a home for xmas.
"Spirit why did you bring me to THEREhouse," Masky asked confuzzled.
"WOHOHO to teach tu about the true meaning of xmaz ma cherie," Fantina said.
Maksy diedn't get it. "But hoe Spirit! Look at them! How cAN I learn the true meaning of xmas hen they on't even have a xmas tree and reindeer!"
At that moment a little ginger boy pooped his head out from a nearby silo of nuclear waste and old poggs. He struggled abit wsine he had a broken leg and his other one was infected with the rabies virus also he was trying to carry the body of a honchcrow. The boy stumbled over to Magret. "Mummy, I found us a xmas feast," the sick boy said nappily showing her the carcus.
"Thats my boy," Maraert replied exahusted from their livee in the from being pregnaunt," why don't you o show you're father I am sure he would be proud of you."
Masky couldn't help but smile to himself since the boy reminded him so much of his childhood at the oprahage except evem happier since he has a father.
The crippled boy made his way to his father, the Tattered Henchdude from earlier," Papa look at what I found." The TH was not in a vety happy moon though," Not now son, I'm too busy with work and the bills to play hopscotch with you."
The little tim's face grew devastated as if his goldfish just drown in a sea of fire and knives. He placed the dead dark bird at his fathers teats and walked away to the otter parts of the broken van area to play with his Mr. Potatoe head toy except it wasn't a potatort but a jagged rusty bean can with silly googoo eyes stuck on. "At least you still care about me Papa...," the sicky child said pickin up the broken can. Salty ears and saltier blood fell down from the boy, staining the stnow bellow on the ground.
This really tugged at Masked Man's hearth. "Spirit what a frightful asshole that tattered Henchdoode is! Went he is done with this xmas folly I will wake him run 20 laps around Cinnabon island with shoes made of solid geodude!"
"WOHOHOHO but aren't tu learnong anythang here? Ze reasone' for Tattered monsuier's anger steems from tu's harsh training and lousy minimal wage! " Masky gasped finally liniing two and two together in horror, "SO I'M THE REASON THIS FAMILY IS LIVING IN THE SLUMS! THAT FANCY GRASS GYM GHOST WAS RIGHT I AM A HORRIBLE PERSON!"
"Mais that' ; s pas tout, Maske for Wee Wally there will surely die from his terrible diseade and physical handicapo...of his heart," Fantina scolded . "What do you mean o wiose spirit?" Fantinia face grew drak and grave like underneath flashliht," In addition to to having incurable cancer and shattered pelvis, Wee little Walli aslo has a terrible heart condition. It costs lost of monez tp fix but the processes can be slowed down through love of aq father. BUT MERCI à VOUS HE HAS NEITHER AND HIS HEART EILL IMPLODED TO DEAD AND THEN HE'LL STARVE!"
" THIS CAN'T BE REAL I WON'T LET IT", Masky lamented with lemons.
But shocked was Masky when he saw that Fan tina was starting to distort and disappate! "SPIRIT!" "Moi work here is copotusz, its now up to ze ghots fo xmas Finale to aid you," she said as she disappeared.
Masky got scared. He was no longer in the junkyard anymore, he was surrounded by complete dark knees. But then a ghostly figure of a man wearing a grim reapers cloack mixed in wit h a darkrai appeares. IT WAS THE GHOST FANTIA FORTOLD!
"uh...h-hi there spirit...wh-where am I...," Masky voiced in terrified FEAR. "MASKY WE ARE IN YOUR HEART! CAN YOU NOT SEE THE DARNNESS THAT CLOUDS YOUR HEAR!"
"But I'll change Spirit! Please let me go," Maky pleaded in mortal terror and pee drenched crocs. "THEN I SHALL," the drak hooded figure boomed and they were tolken to a place elsewehre.
The new scenery made Masky feel ill and throw up in his maks. The sky was all black and grey and there were soulless futuristic buildings everywhere and it kinda looked like zion from the trees were all dead and buried in a graveyard and the rivers were all blood rivers of plasma. A skeleton charizard flew over head and ate a lone butterfree to symbolize the lack of hope in this new world.
"Spirit...what...what has happened..." Masky asked in whispered voice.
"YOU HAS HAPPENED! YOU AND THE EVIL CONCIL OF DARKNESS HAVE DESTROYED THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT!" The goht shouted in a voice that was so loud that it destroed ine of those buildings I mentioned earlier.
"How though! Does this have anything to do with our secret plans to capture Rash Katchep and control the SCAD," Masky wondered about all the evil his Master has been comitting,
"YES. THAT AND THE FACT THAT WEE LITTLE WALLY DIED.," Spirit said wilth malisiousness.
Masky's heart felt sad," But hat does his death have tlo do with all of this!"
"FOOL WALLY MIGHT NOT BE MUCH NOW BUT LATER ON IN THE FUTURE THAT YOU HAVE DESTROYED WHEN ASH'S DESTINY IS SET IN MOTION HE WILL BE THE ONE WHO WILL OPEN THE ATE TO THE POKEHEAVENS! AND THEN AFTERWARDS HE IS DESTINED TO FIND THE CURE FOR POVERTY BUT HE CAN'T BECAUSE YOU MURDERED HIM WITH HATE. NOW LOOK, THERE ARE NO MORE NATURE AND LOVE AND HUMANITY AND OLD GRANDMOTHERS NOW.," tHe Fisnl Spirit explained situation to Masky.
"Do not worry there fare Spitiy, I will not let this future happen for I wuill go and give Tattered Guy a break so he can take care of his son," Masky said with learned lessons.
The shoured figure lifted up his hand but not to send Masky back to his original time but instead to shoot red,green, and white lightening at Masky! Masky was a ninja dodged the brunt of the attack although a small part of his hand got burned from it. "OR I CAN STOP YOU RIGHT NOW." the spirit laughed removing his hood and revealing himself as none other than the father of xmas Santa Claus.
Masky responded to his yultide energy beans with shurriken made from Sandshrew bones at the jolly fatman but to no avail. Santa summoned a Reindeer and it cushione thr blow. Santa lowered the deer carcass and glared dedly. He did mean business this time. Santa then hopped on a candycane guitair motorcycle and took off in the sky tying to get an areail advantage over Masky. But Masky was not one to be done in so easily.
Masky ran and rumped on the back on the Charizard skeleton and chased after Santa Claus.
They fought it the air for what seemed liked hours in a mad areial dance to the death. However the fight could not go on forever, unlike Santa Masky was not importal and the battle was starting to wear on him.
"FOOL YOU SHOULD'VE KNOWN BETTER THAN TO CHALLENGE A GOD," Santa taunted secured about his sure-to-be victory. Masky smirked in pain and defiance. "But you have forgottenn one thing Kringle...I AM AN ATHAGIEST WHO CELEBRATES HANUKKAH!" and with that Masky lunged at the bearded old goat and made him tear a white-and-red hole in the space-time wuth an wreath-katana with christian leaves petals.
"FOOL WHAT DOES YOUR LIFE WHEN STACKED UP AGAINST THE LIVES OF 1.6 BILLION PEOPLE," Santa shouted at Masky while he jumped through the minty portal back to his own time.
Masky woke up the following mourge in his bed, surrounded by bedhead and empty ice cream tubs. Masky jumped up startled ober the events he had witnessed that night. He ram to the bathroom to check the calender but slipped over some ice cream and fell out the window ontop of a newsboy.
"You! Child-Boy! What day is it on this xmas day," Masky asked with concern over if he was too late.
"Why its Xmas my dear evil ninja guy," the boy said with pained screams of politeness.
Masky shot up and jumped up and down like schoolgirl at Hello Kitty store. "By Jove I still have time!" Misky turned his attention to the writhing nnwspapaer boy on the ground, blood and organs leaking on the snowy white ground and threw some pennies and him. "Boy go forth and buy me the biggest turducken you can and meet me at the Tattered Family household!"
The Tattered Henchdude were just like they were when Maskuy left that night, with Margret doing meanial domestic work, TH stressed about life,and Wally playin with tetnuos filled metal.
But ten Maskys showed up and TH began to fret. "Si-sir what are you doing here, I thought wio ave me the day off for the holida-"
"Stupid Henchgoon you should have known that 'let you have they da off ofr m xmas' was code for 'YOU ARE WORKIN ON XMAS AND YOUR JOEYS ARE ALL GOING TO BE CHOPPED UP TO FEED OUR DOGS!" Masky laughed with fake meanness. TH's became so depressed he got emo hair cut and Margaret gave birth to her child prematurely and had hearht attack.
But then Wally saw the huge turducken and asked," Mvawsky whatish dhish fwow? ish dhish fwow ush?"
And everyone laughed including the junkyard bannana dogs from earleir. hey then had a huge xmas bash of their own even though Masky was jewish and did not believe in Jesus. Wally climbed onto Masky's back and said in his adorable lisps ,"Gwwod Cawlgwoon bress ush ewewyone."
Our four spirits were looking down from the PokeHeavens and smiled. Cilan got his master Satan his jolly xmas log book and he wrote down Masky's experience and it went down as the greatest momment in all of Xmas.
The End.