Hey, hey, hey! Here I am, posting on Christmas day. I have to refer the fact that my beta reader sent me this chapter on the 24th Dec., at 05:30 in the morning, that's why I'm just posting it today. The thanking goes to the same people, my beta reader and my friend. Also to everyone who reads, reviews and favorites; special thanks to the people who review and I can't response. And...to katja for referring a mistake I had with my German; apparently I ate the letter "e"!

I leave you an exciting chapter... Flashback again!

6 months ago

Kensi sat at her desk. She thought in how much she would miss it all; coming to work every day, sit at her desk and see her team of friends, bickering about something, having a coffee, all just the distance of a desk away. She will miss Sam's subtle concern and his friendship even though he seems grumpy sometimes. She'll miss Callen's sense of humor and extreme loyalty. Actually, she'll miss both of them acting like her big brothers; she'll miss their 'married' partnership. She'll miss Nell, the newest female entering the team, how smart she is and how young; not to mention that she's willing to do everything you ask her, she's always available to help. Now, as soon as she'll hear a whistle, she'll think of Eric's whistle and how no-one else can do it better than he does; she'll think of his surfer style that Hetty hated at the beginning. And speaking of her, she'll miss her 'threats' every time they take clothes or props to a mission, but she knows that her badass figure is not very proportional to herself…something she'll miss too.

Kensi went upstairs; she never liked goodbyes, the simple fact is that she cries and she believes, or makes herself believe that if she cries, that she's not tough. But she just felt she needed to say goodbye. As she reached the top, the doors opened and she just stared at Eric and Nell, who looked back, seeing her standing there.

"Is everything okay, Kens?" Eric asked.

"I don't really know." She entered and took a deep breath. Both of them got up and approached her, worried. "I guess I came to say goodbye."

"Goodbye? Why?" Nell asked, curious and confused.

"I have an assignment in Germany, and I just felt that I needed to come here…"

"Do you know for how long?" Eric lost his composure as soon as Kensi broke the news.

"No. But seeing as how secret the mission is, it might be a long time." Kensi took the hands out of her jeans pockets. "Well, I'm going to miss you guys. Come here, Eric," she called him over for a hug.

"We're going to miss you too."

"And you Nell," Kensi said while hugging her, "You keep the boys in line; you hold the reins really tightly. You're now the only woman on the team."

"Don't worry, Kensi, I'll make sure they behave," Nell said playfully, glancing at Eric.

"So, when are you leaving?" Eric questioned sadly. "Have you told Sam, Deeks and Callen?"

"I'll leave in two hours, but don't tell them yet. I'll talk to them."

"You have our word, Kensi," Eric said and just couldn't bear not hugging her again. "First Nate, now you…"

"Well," Kensi's voice started to sound shaken up. "I'll go downstairs to speak with them when they arrive. But, we'll keep in touch; I'll call you guys when I can."

As soon as she left the room, tears fell from her eyes, and she let them drop. There was no-one near to see her cry, and she knew if she held it inside her, she would burst out and create a situation she would not want. The best thing was to simply shed some tears and move on. She still had to say goodbye to Callen, Sam and Deeks, and there were only two hours left. For some reason, her mind didn't tell her to stop crying; she knew something bigger was coming, she knew homesick was going to almost tear her down, and she just couldn't stop crying. Instead of creating a wall, her heart made her cry. When Hetty said the French agent was there for five years now that sent a shiver down her looked down, Sam and Callen had just arrived, so she wiped her face clean, took a few deep breaths and descended the stairs.

"Hey, hasn't Deeks arrived yet?" Callen asked as he leaned on the edge of his desk.

"No." And thank God, her mind thought.

"Well, we got two clues while talking with Corporal Loten's unit; we need you and Deeks to follow one of them, while G and I take the other."

"Guess Deeks will have to do it all alone."

"Why?" Sam inquired. Her red eyes made him curious.

"I…"Kensi stuttered, and even knowing she had said it earlier, it hadn't become easier. Callen and Sam are two people she admires, who made her grow up in some many ways. They were playful with her and she with them. They taught her so much, and she looks up to them. They became friends with time, and now she didn't want to leave, and she couldn't even find the words to break it to them. "I have a mission, an assignment out the country."

"How long will it take?" Callen asked, approaching her, seeing her nervously biting her lower lip.

"Too long." Callen got even closer and hugged her. Her voice trembled and sounded like a whine. That was all she needed; she hid her face on his shoulder and felt tears running down her cheeks. "I'm alone over there. If something goes wrong… I don't have anyone, I'm all alone… Guys…" She and Callen released each other and she confessed it with no fear. "I'm scared."

"Oh, come on Kens, you'll never be alone." Sam said. "You can always count on us… for everything. And we are the distance of a phone call away." Sam repeated what his partner had just done, hugging her. "We can have your back from here." They heard her giggling. "But, can't Hetty do anything about this?" He wiped her tears away with his thumbs.

"I don't think so."

She smiled because as soon as she answered that, they both left, heading to Hetty's office. She could hear all of the conversation and they ended up with the same answer that she'd gotten.

"We tried. Can't blame a guy for trying," Callen said, trying to cheer her up.

"I know, and I knew you would do this, but liking it or not, you two act like my big brothers…I just wish someone else could have tried." She directed her eyes to her partner's empty desk, but Sam and Callen had already figured that out without even following her eyes.

"You're not the most open person either." Callen made the mistake and he acknowledged it even before ending the sentence and turned his eyes to her, apologizing.

"I know," she whispered. That was the word she said more frequently since she learned about the assignment. The truth is, she knows it all, and she now understands that we need to lose something to finally give it its fair valor and miss it. But, like Callen said, she's not the most open person in the world, and she knows it.

And the worst, she just saw her partner entering. She'll miss him, even though she'll never admit it. She'll miss their games that they usually do when they are bored, she'll miss the teasing between them. She'll miss his cheeky attitude, his cuteness, the way he talks non-stop sometimes, even though now it annoys her…so much! She'll miss having her partner, her second shadow on whom she can always count on to protect her, her or anyone else; he's a very concerned person. She'll even miss his hair, so messy and yet so good looking... she would even say attractive, but let's not talk about it. And there he comes, smiling as usual. It was rare to see that man without a smile across his lips, illuminating his face. He showed up with a bag of frozen peas over his forehead and right eye. Sam and Callen left the division and let them talk more privately. Nevertheless, Kensi didn't have the courage to tell him, instead she just asked, "What's with the frozen peas?"

He took the bag of his face and showed her the swelling. "Corporal Loten's kids are amazing, but a bit clumsy. He has three boys." He put the bag back on his face and sat at his desk. "Casey Jr. Jr. is ten, Cooper is seven, and Bradley is four. Their grandfather, who by the way is Casey too, was solving a problem, so I played with them for a while. We were playing baseball until Cooper hit me with the baseball bat."

Kensi got close to him and stood in front of him, having his knee between her legs. The proximity was scary, having him breathing against her, so close. She took a deep breath. She took the bag off of his face and pulled away some wisps of his blonde hair. She stroked his forehead and cheek. It felt weird and good at the same time, but she couldn't let the feeling drive her. When she touched on the swelling carefully, he groaned.

"It doesn't look that bad, put the peas back on, I'll be right back." Kensi came back a cream to ease the swelling and bruising.

"You're not going to put that on me; you hurt me just when you touched it!"

"Deeks, this is for your own good; I won't hurt you." He nodded negatively, like a scared kid. "Deeks…" she said threateningly.

"Ok, fine. But do it slowly."

"Deeks. Stop. Moving. Your head," she growled as she tried to rub in the cream. "If you don't stop, I'll hurt you even more." Kensi took her hands off his face. "Okay, big-boy, it's done."

"Do Sam and Callen already have something on the case?"

"Yeah, I think so, but before investigating, I need to eat.'

"A burger? I'll pay." He looked at her with his eyes shining and a smile on his lips again. That was an image that she'll carry on her heart for the time she'll be away. "Just because you helped me. You know, you're being far too nice."

"Oh, so now I can't be nice? You complain when I'm mean, and now that I'm nice you complain."

"Ok, ok, ok! I won't complain; let me enjoy this nice Kensi while she's here!"

Kensi's heart dropped when she heard that. He was supposed to be the happy innocent who doesn't know anything and yet, he said that like he knew she was leaving.

"Okay, but before we come to the Ops, I need to go home. I have a little problem." Not even she knew what the problem was, though.

"You know, usually women get grumpy in that time of the month, not nice!"

Kensi looked at him, almost killing him with the look, but it was just to keep up appearances. Fortunately, she didn't have to make an excuse, his mind is pretty fertile and he likes to play guessing games. That burger together was going to be her farewell to her partner, being nice to him was a way of making him remember her positively and to not make her feel guilty. But, she already feels guilty for not telling him.

This message was at the end of the document when I received it; it's exactly how I read it.

Note from Beta, PurpleHipposRock: Sorry this awesome story takes so long to get updated; it's all my fault.