Oh my god, wow. I am ashamed of myself! I'm such a procrastinator! I've been trying to work on this story to get it just right, but I failed at updating. I promise that I will update every thursday from now on! You have my word. Please, please review to let me know you're still reading. Once again, I feel horrible. I've had state testing and a bunch of trips and spring break and stupid things like that. I promise, every single thursday, maybe even more often! Please review! ANd once again, I'm really sorry...hope this makes up for my stupid lack of updates.\
I don't own degrassi...
Chapter 2
"Yes, the past can hurt but the way I see it you can either run from it or learn from it." –Anonymous
"Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future." –Anonymous
"When the gods wish to punish us, they answer our prayers." –Oscar Wilde
"Julia?" I asked, my body frozen in shock. My late ex-girlfriend smiled at me, her eyes bright.
I must be dreaming. I thought. There was no other logical explanation.
"Morning Eli," She said, wrapping her arms around my bare chest. "How'd you sleep?"
"Uh…" I started, standing up. "G-Good. I'll be in the bathroom." I said hastily, trying not to stutter as I backed up toward the bathroom. Julia still laid in bed. She was laying in me and Clare's bed…she was laying right where Clare had always laid.
The room was the same but still very different. The walls were dark gray, not light blue like Clare had painted them. The big, bright windows were concealed behind thick purple curtains. The bedspread was black and grey and all the furniture was dark. I noticed how sinister the room was and wondered if I'd always been like that as a teenager.
"Don't be long, I have to shower too." Julia said, reaching for a cell phone that was positioned vigilantly on the black side table.
"Okay," I promised, racing into the bathroom and closing the door quickly. I leaned against it and examined the washroom. Like the bedroom, everything was the same as me and Clare's house was, but the energy was gloomy and the decor was dark. I turned on the sink and splashed cold water on my face, looking up into the mirror to study myself. I was still 33, but my hair was longer like it had been in high school. I looked down and saw I was wearing black sweatpants and socks, and my guitar pick necklace. I sighed at the thought of dark clothing. I turned my attention to my left ring finger, looking at the black wedding band in place of where the gold one Clare had given me should've been.
"Hey Eli," Someone said casually, startling me. I whipped around quickly and looked for the perpetrator of the unfamiliar voice.
What I didn't expect to see was a seventeen year old boy sitting on the edge of the bathtub, casually looking up at me. His dirty blond hair flopped around his face and his lanky frame told me his identity and where I knew him from: he was J.T York, the kid who'd been murdered and had once gone to Degrassi.
"What the hell?" I asked, clearly confused and frustrated. My head was racing and I wondered if I was high. Or drunk. Or possibly both.
"I'm J.T York. I'm here to help." The young man introduced himself, standing and smiling. I tied to shake his hand, but mine went right through his as if he was a hologram. I was fascinated by the fact that I couldn't touch him and stuck my whole arm through his chest.
"That's not funny." He said, eyeing me. I pulled my hand away.
"What the heck is this?" I asked, suddenly scared for my sanity.
"Eli, you made a wish that Julia had never died. You wished on the North Star, and the big guy was feeling sorry for you. Bada-bing, bada-boom, you're 33 years old and Julia never died!" J.T said, smiling. I stared at him.
"You're joking." I told him.
"Wish I was." He replied, shrugging. "Look. The big guy sent me to guide you through this. I have some love experience myself, and, well, I thought I could help."
"I'm dreaming." I decided, looking around. He laughed at me.
"You're in real life." He said. "Pinch yourself." He told me. I pinched my arm as hard as I could and let out a small yelp. He laughed at me when I didn't wake up.
"So Julia never died?" I asked, still astonished.
"Yup." He said. Another realization suddenly hit me.
"Where is Clare?" I asked. She'd suddenly become my priority.
"Wish I could tell you. This is your life as if Julia never died. So, everything changes. You never went to Degrassi."
"I never met Clare?" I whispered, a wave of depression hitting me suddenly.
"That would be correct." J.T replied.
"Where are my children?" I asked, turning toward J.T once again.
"You'll see." He said. Then there was a knock at the door and J.T disappeared.
"Eli, c'mon and hurry up or you'll be late for work!" Julia called through the door. I sighed and looked around.
"J.T? Where'd you go?" I asked, starting the water in the shower.
"I'm here." J.T replied, reappearing and sitting on top of the laundry basket. I turned to him.
"I need to get back to Clare." I decided. He broke into a fit of laughter.
"That's comical." He said.
"I can't get back to Clare?" I asked.
"Eli, the big guy did this because he wishes you to learn a lesson." J.T told me.
"Tell the big guy that I don't give a fuck about him or his lessons!" I yelled.
"Once you learn your lesson, you'll be sent back to Clare." He told me. I just stood there in immense shock.
"And what lesson would that be?" I asked, annoyed.
"I can't tell you." he said.
"Are you freaking serious?" I asked.
"Eli babe are you okay?" Julia called. I groaned in frustration.
"Yeah, I'll be out in a minute." I returned, now glaring at J.T.
"Look Eli, you've got this. Here," he said, touching my guitar pick necklace. "Whenever you need me, rub this. I'll come."
"Like a stalker." I muttered. He rolled his eyes and disappeared once again, leaving me alone. And that's how I wanted it to be.
I walked out of the bathroom and went into my closet, ignoring the nausea that I'd conducted. I felt sick to my stomach every time I thought about where I was and what I was doing.
I stepped into my closet and examined my options. Not knowing where I was going or what I worked as in this alternate universe, I rubbed my necklace. J.T appeared, standing next to me.
"Hey Eli."
"What's my job?" I asked quickly.
"You're a bartender." He said. I stared at him.
"A bar tender? A bartender! In the real worl I'm the president of a publishing company!" I yelled. he laughed.
"You and Julia own a club downtown. It's really nice." He said. I stared at him, wide-eyed.
"You've got to be kidding me." I said.
"I'll come see you at work. I could use a beer, this job is tough." He said before he disappeared. I groaned and looked around my closet at my clothing options. I saw different shades of skinny jeans and graphic t-shirts. I decided on a white Dead Hand v-neck and black skinny jeans with my combat boots (I know, original.)
"Eli, you look great." Julia said, walking into the room. I sighed, and smiled. It was good to see her. She was wearing a short, red dress and fishnets with combat boots and chain necklaces. It reminded me of our sophomore dance and what she'd worn.
"You look amazing Jules." I said. She slipped into her leather jacket.
"Thanks baby. The kids are downstairs." She said.
"The kids?" I asked.
"Uh, our children? How much did you have to drink last night?" she asked, smoothing my shirt against my chest. I sighed.
"I don't know." I muttered. She giggled and pecked my lips.
"I'll be down in a moment." She told me.
I nodded and walked out of "our" room and into the hallway. Closing the door behind me, I leaned against it and closed my eyes. I took a deep breath to clear my racing mind.
Julia was alive. I suddenly felt like I was cheating on Clare and a wave of nausea swept over me.
In deciding I was hungry, I walked down the steps that had once been so familiar. I had once walked these steps with my children, watching them grow and change. I had once felt a wave of happiness every time I walked down these. Now I felt fear and anxiety. What had become of my family? What had become of my life?
I rounded the corner and walked through the hallway only to find more dark décor.
In drifting into the kitchen, I felt a wave of shock hit me like a pile of bricks.
"Hey Dad," Bret greeted me as he walked past me. I stared, wide-eyed after him. He was wearing all black. He looked like a 12 year old me.
"B-Bret," I stuttered. "What happened?"
"Uh…are you okay?" Kristi asked me. I looked over at my daughter to find that she was dressed in punk clothes like she normally was. For a moment, I was hopeful that she hadn't changed. "You're acting like a fucking freak." She told me. Yup, she's definitely changed.
"Don't talk to me like that!" I scolded. She laughed.
"good luck with the whole parenting thing." She told me. Instead of getting mad at her, I looked for Ren. Maybe he was better off knowing about his real mother. What I saw was that he was sitting at his normal place at the counter with no shirt on. Rebellious tattoos covered his muscular chest and the tips of his hair were dyed red. He had one-inch gages in his ears, as well as many other peircings. Kelsey was sitting next to him wearing a pair of his boxers and a bright pink bra. They were both drinking beer. Something told me he was better off with Clare.
"Ren?" I asked. He gave me a bored look.
"What Eli?"
"You tattooed your chest?" I asked, now extremely outraged. He laughed.
"Mom took me two years ago." He told me. "Are you drunk or something?"
"I think he's high." Bret said. Mercy laughed.
"Or both." She added.
"Where's Kristi?" I asked. they all laughed again.
"Probably somewhere in Montréal." Ren said.
"Why? She's fifteen!" I asked, pouring myself a cup of coffee. I looked around the messy kitchen and poured the coffee back down the drain; I was not eating anything out of this house.
"You and mom let her and Nile go there." Mercy said. "Any other obvious questions you wanna ask?" she asked me. I glared at her.
"Shut up," I told her. She shrugged and went back to her cereal.
"Why is Kelsey here?" I asked.
"Uh, you and mom let her sleep over." Ren told me.
"What?" I asked.
"Eli, what's wrong with you today?" Julia asked, coming down the stairs. I shook my head, truly speechless. I was married to her. Holy shit, I'm so screwed.
"Where are the others?" I asked, meaning Alec and Will.
"What others?" Julia asked me.
"Alec and Will." I said.
"Who?" Julia asked. I shook my head.
"Forget it." I told her.
So we hadn't had Alec or Will. That's horrible! I want my sons!
"So Bret, do you have a game this week?" I asked. He gave me a blank look.
"Uh…I don't do sports." He said dumbly.
"What?" I asked. Did I hear him right? Bret lives for sports. How could he not do sports?
"I have never played sports." He told me. I groaned and shook my head.
"I'm leaving." I announced. "See you later Jules." I said, kissing her on the cheek. She pulled me in for a kiss on the lips. Her lips tastes like candy and I suddenly remembered why I used to like her so much. She wrapped one leg around my hip and I lifted her onto the counter. I suddenly remembered that I was married to Clare and that my children were in the room. I pulled away from Julia and she wrapped her arms around my neck.
"Sorry guys." I muttered. However, they looked unfazed by me and Julia's little scene.
"We're kinda used to it." Mercy muttered. I looked from my children to Julia. She pulled me into her arms and whispered something in my ear while she nibbled on my ear lobe.
"I'll see you later," she whispered. "In the break room at the club. I'll bring the condoms."
I gave her one more quick kiss and then lifted her off the counter, placing her on the floor.
"Bye guys," I said, taking my keys off the hook on the wall. They all smiled at me and I rushed out the door and to my car.
I climbed into my hearse and sped down the street, rubbing my necklace as so0n as the house was out of sight.
"Hey Eli," J.T said, appearing in my front passenger seat.
"The fuck was that?" I asked.
"The fuck was what? Julia asking you to have sex or your life now?"
"Everything!" I said.
"Dude, chill out. Turn left here," he said, instructing me how to get to my club. "Just tell her you're busy with customers. Lock yourself in your office. Clean the bar. Beat your servants." He said. I gave him a look. "The last one was a joke." He informed me. I continued to drive past the Dot.
"I don't want to own a club, I want to go back to my life with Clare!" I wined even though I knew it wasn't helping anything.
"Eli, be a man." J.T told me.
"Says the hologram." I muttered.
"Don't go there," He threatened. "Turn right. The club is that brick building right there." He said. I parked on the street.
"So what is this stupid lesson I'm supposed to learn?" I asked J.T before I got out of the car.
"You'll figure it out," he assured. "Have fun at work!" he told me, disappearing. I got out of the car and slammed the door a little too hard.
This part of Downtown is nice and has lots of potential to be a great spot for business. Lots of rich, young people come here to party and dance. I knew this from my experiences with Fiona in high school.
I walked up to the big, metal doors and was ready to unlock them, when something caught my eye. It was a copy of a vampire novel, beaten up and worn, extremely familiar. It was sitting on a small part of a dirty blanket that peaked out from behind a large post. I walked toward it and was about to pick it up, when someone jumped out at me.
She'd been hiding in a nook in the building. On the ground was a duffle bag and a pile of a blanket, two books and several pieces of clothing.
She was holding a knife, pointing it at my chest. The blade was dirty, but sharp as fuck. The girl pointing it at me was wearing dirty jeans, a pair of beaten up converse and a Degrassi sweatshirt. Her hands were rough from working hard. Her face was young and familiar. Her blue eyes were fierce.
My heart stopped. My mind raced. My hands shook. My words were stuck in my throat. My tongue was tied.
Only one thing came to mind.
I'd just come face to face with a homeless Clare Edwards.
"So that's where she went,"
A/N: So how did I do? Was it ok? I'll bring Clare in the next chapters! Also, there will be appearences from: Adam, Drew, Bianca, Jake, Zig, Maya, Tori...possibly Ally? I'm not totally sure yet, but most of them are coming in. Please review and tell me who you want to see in the story. I PROMISE, from not on, I'll update every Thursday. PROMISE! Thanks for being patient!