Please keep on R&R...

Chapter 4

" Mason. "

Shaking off the awkward feelings, the woman that was Della Street took over.

" Perry, it's me. "

" Della…" he had to be smiling now. His voice was smiling.

" I have a question for you that's been bothering me since you passed me that note last Friday. "

" Tell me. " He was indeed smiling. It was a contented smile, a smirk actually.

" I was just wondering if you could buy me the same perfume as you did for my birthday six years ago. I've ran out. " He roared with laughter, but only after he heard her laugh.

" Well, I might be able to get you a new supply, if you want me to. "

" That would be nice. "

" However, there are two conditions, Miss Street….." Not sure if he could say this, he decided to take the chance. After all, there was nothing left to lose.

" Tell me, Your Honour. "

" First, you'll have to come and get it at my place. " The little chuckle on the other side of the line made his heart miss a beat. He deeply blessed her sense of humour.

" U-uh."

" Second, " he paused. He swallowed and closed his eyes, as if it was to hear her reaction come through more clear after the words he was about to speak, " I'll make sure it's not enough to last another six years. It might be barely enough for just two weeks this time. "

Her five seconds of silence made him sit straight up in his chair. He heard the sound of turning pages. Could it be that she was checking her schedule? Could it?

" Hmm-mmm, we'll see about that... How about tomorrownight? " His hands pitched forward to check his own schedule for tomorrow. Packed with appointments from eight a.m. untill eleven p.m.

" Fine with me. " He relaxed back in his chair again, " Can you be there at eight thirty? "

" I'll just have to see what time I can leave here. But I suppose I can be there at eight thirty, yes. "

" Della? "

" Perry? "

" Thank you for calling me… " The hoarseness of his voice surprised them both. As a reaction, it took her some time to be able to speak.

" I'll see you tomorrow, bye Perry. "

After she hung up, he looked at the telephone for a long time, as if it could provide him with more of the woman he had just been talking to.

Now he'd tell his secretary to reschedule his appointments for tomorrownight. He put up his feet on the desk, and allowed himself to doze off a little. He felt tired. Pondering on his decisions and their possible results had kept him awake all through the night.

The sound of his intercom woke him up.

" Yes? "

" Honourable Giles is here to see you, Your Honour."

" See her in, Caroline…."

He stood up from his chair, and stared out of the window, narrowing his eyes. Wondering if he was taking the right decision here. Now this was hard, wasn't it? As painful as it was, he really had wanted to talk about this with Della first, but he was going to talk to Mary-Ann now, because it felt like the right moment. What difference would it make anyway?

The door to his office opened and he heard her high heels entering his office. He turned to take in her appearance. Her soft hazel eyes greeted his blue stare smiling. He kissed her forehead lightly, and teasinly ignored her arms reaching for him before she sat down. He leaned onto his desk in front of her.

" You wanted to see me now, Perry? Why didn't you just call me? "

" Mary-Ann, " he leaned forewards to take her hands and kiss her fingers. " We have to talk. "

" I thought so. " the contented smile on her handsome blushing face was damning inviting to him. But he still wasn't sure if it was really hers. It could very well be Della's smile he was reflecting on her face. " Have you thought about my proposal? "

He smiled at her. " Yes, I have. "

%$&

It was no trouble at all to give him one of her radiant smiles, when he opened his frontdoor to her. Not only because she had actually looked forward to seeing him, also because she had fun thinking about the encounter she just had with the concierge of the appartmentbuilding. He had assumed she was someone else, so when she told him she was Della Street and she came to see Mr. Mason, he had refused to let her in. It took her a couple of minutes to talk him into phoning Mr. Mason himself to ask if it was all right to send her up.

" So, I take it you met our thorough and overprotecting concierge, didn't you? " He smiled at her, and stepped aside to let her in.

" I'm glad you told him to let me in. He was about to take my fingerprints…" she chuckled.

Maybe he had remembered, maybe he hadn't, but the sight of him like this, barefoot, sleeves rolled up, without tie and suitjacket had always made her head spin. Together with his sweet scent after a working day it had very often ignited a very strong passion in her, the memory of it made her smile silently. He was still quite attractive to her. She ignored the stirring in the pit of her stomach, she shouldn't be feeling it right now.

She followed him into his kitchen. Everything was large here, like the resident himself. Not much had changed since the last time she was here five years ago.

She had noticed a woman's coat on the hallstand, when she left her purse and jacket there. Fresh flowers on the diningtable. Pictures of her and Paul on the wall, pictures of his parents, his brother Robert with his wife and their three children.

No picture of the woman she had seen him with last Friday.

" Would you like a drink? "

" Yes, please. "

" Still the same? "

" Yes. "

" No ice? "

" No ice. "

His position in the kitchen, pouring them their drinks, gave him time and opportunity to watch her, to take in her smoothness, the graciousness of her movements. He thought about the urge he had felt to just take her in his arms when she walked in.

Now she was looking around in his home. It was so odd to have her here. He damned himself for being unable to think and act normal, he felt kind of nervous, out of order. Relieved that he had thought of some subjects to talk about. Like a schoolboy preparing for his first date.

" Well, I guess this is what you came here for. " He handed her a red box wrapped up with a white ribbon.

" Thank you… " she opened her gift, cursing the trembling of her fingers.

" Oh…" The box contained two dozen miniature bottles of the perfume she had asked him to get her. On every single one of them, he had written a number, she guessed they were referring to weeks. There was one miniature on top of the rest, wrapped in a transparent foil, and it had a little card attached to it. Written on one side was Happy birthday tomorrow and on the other side I'll bring you the next miniature in two weeks, wherever you are P.

" Thank you, Perry. " Her voice was soft. She was touched by his attention for her, touched that he had remembered her birthday was indeed tomorrow. She thought it was safe to lightly kiss him on his cheek. But it felt too close, way too close. She stepped back.

He noticed, and pulled back his hand that was lingering in the air to hold her at her shoulder.

" So, where do you want me to bring the next miniature bottle? "

" I'll let you know. " Her perfect answer to dissociate herself from any question asked.

He watched her, while he handed her drink to her, and toasted. " Here's to birthdays..."

" To birthdays..., " she confirmed, "… and presents... "

" And presents… " he confirmed. " Do you want to see the view I have from my terrace here? "

" Is it as good as the one you had back in L.A.? "

He slid the doors open, and let her go first before he stepped onto the terrace. " You can see for yourself. "

She stood still at the rail of the terrace for a long time. Her heart was racing, she needed to calm down, and took in a deep breath of fresh air. He had spoiled her like he used to do. He had gone through great lengths to get this gift for her. Miniature bottles of this perfume were very hard to find, especially at this short notice. But she suspected it hadn't been short notice, he must have planned it before. What did that mean? What was going on?

Whatever it was, it made her feel uncomfortable. She was not going to stay for long. It didn't feel right. But there were some things that really need to be said, and they were going to be said tonight.

" How have you been, Perry? "

" A judge. Busy. A busy judge."

" That's not what I asked. I didn't ask what you have been. I know you are a judge, with all sorts of obligations and duties. I asked you how you have been. How do you feel? "

How he wanted to get used to this question again. Asked by her, preferably. Nowadays, people just asked him about his cases, about his career. About his plans.

" Truth? "

" Of course. "

" Kind of lost..., " he looked at her from aside, " without you…"

" It seems to me that the state had provided you with a secretary right away? "

" That's not what I mean. I mean not having you around, not…." He sighed. " You know what I mean. "

" No, I actually don't know what you mean. Tell me…"

He didn't answer her question, but looked into her eyes. After two seconds she turned her face from him. This was too much, he was too close.

" You had quite a beautiful woman on your arm Friday…"

" She's a fellow judge. "

" Is that all she is to you? "

" Well... "

" Is she the one your concierge was confusing me with? "

" Probably, yes. "

" I see. Well, in that case, she has to be nice. " She looked at him from over the rim of her glass. Now he had turned his face from her.

" Does she love you, Perry? "

It had to be said. And he had to say it now. " I suppose so. She proposed to me..." He turned to her again, and saw her swallow and close her eyes.

" I should go. " Of course she had known this was coming, but she hadn't expected it would hit her this hard. As long as it had been an unspoken presumption, she had been able to ignore it. But now he had confirmed it, his voice had spoken the words literally, there was no mercy. It was a sharp, breathtaking pain, that panicked her from very deep inside.

She needed to leave. Now.

" Della..., " his voice came from far to her.

" Perry, I really should go. This is not right. You love someone else. " She left her glass on the diningtable, and hurried to the door. She had to get out.

" Della..., "

" I shouldn't have called you. I'm sorry. It was a mistake. "

" It wasn't. Will you listen to me? "

She grabbed her purse and jacket and opened the frontdoor. " I'm sorry I've let you go through the trouble of buying me a birthdaypresent. Really, I…"

" Listen to me. "

His arm went around her to close the door. His hand next to her on the door was close, too close. His nearness made her feel sick. " Let me go, Perry, please. Don't make this any harder for me. " It was like a sob.

All she wanted now, was leave, to open the door and just leave, close the door behind her forever and allow the tears to surface. Tears of letting go, saying goodbye forever, not to return. Never to be hurt like this again.

" Let me go... "

" Listen to me! " His hand hit the door just hard enough to shut up the hammering, crying voices in her mind for just a moment.

" I turned her down. "