I'll make this quick cause its way late, the Pats just got demolished & I have a loong day tomorrow. As always thanks to the reviewers. Hope you enjoy this & if there are silly mistakes I apologize my eyes are burniiing from sleepiness. I can't even think of a proper chapter title, blah.

Either way, hope you like it :) Also...don't hurt me.

Pete stood outside Josie's door, hesitating to knock even though he'd sprinted the short distance between the Abbey and her flat. He stood there wondering what he was going to encounter and as he danced back and forth on his feet he finally got the courage to knock lightly, figuring just barging in on her would only serve to piss her off even more.

To his shock, the door swung open to reveal Dave standing there, a stony look on his face, "Alright, bruv?" Dave asked grimly.

Pete's eyebrows shot up and his blood immediately turned cold at the thought of Dave comforting Josie for the past two hours while he was chatting up Olivia, "Yeah – she 'ere?" Pete questioned gruffly, not even looking at him as he peered over Dave's shoulder hoping to catch sight of Josie.

Dave stayed standing in the doorway, effectively blocking Pete's entrance, "She doesn't want to see you."

"That right?" he hissed, seething slightly at the interference, "Well it really ain't yer business and I'm not leavin' until I talk to her."

Dave opened his mouth to reply but was stopped at the sound of Josie's voice, "It's fine," she said in a small voice, "Thanks Dave – I'm about packed anyway."

At her word's Pete's heart dropped to his stomach, "Packed?" he asked in a strangled voice as he finally managed to shove past Dave to enter her flat.

Dave walked towards Josie and pulled her into a hug, "I'm sorry Joze – call if you need anything." Pete watched the two of them, fire coursing through his veins as Dave kissed the top of Josie's head before turning to leave without a backward glance at Pete.

Josie avoided Pete's gaze and walked around him to get her coat that was on the back of the couch. His emotions volleyed back and forth between anger at Dave's presence and panic at the fact that Josie wasn't yelling yet. Her style of arguing was explosive anger, followed by bitter tears and ending in angry, makeup sex. That's how it worked. That's how it was supposed to work. This, this was different and panic inducing to say the least.

"Josie…" he started, wondering where he was going with this. She stopped her movement of putting her jacket on and stared blankly at him, her brown eyes ringed red and swollen from the tears she'd clearly been crying. Fuck me, why can't I stop hurting her? he thought in shame.

She stood there, a pained look on her face as she waited for him to continue, "I know its worth fuck all but I'm sorry."

"You're right about that Pete," she said quietly, "It means shit. I don't even want to ask what you were thinking because the possible answer scares the hell out of me."

Pete moved towards her and she mirrored the move, stepping backward from him effectively keeping the same distance between them, "Joze – please just let me explain."

"What in the fuck is there to explain?" she hissed, her eyes flashing and the familiar sign of her temper gave Pete some strange relief. However, it was short lived when she took a deep breath, closing her eyes before continuing in an even tone, "Forget it – I don't want to hear it right now. I just need, I need," she hiccupped slightly before collecting herself, "I need to just think some shit out without having you distract me."

She turned on her heel and picked up the overnight back that he hadn't noticed sitting on the kitchen table, "Where –" he swallowed the lump in his throat, "Where are you going? To Dave's?" he spat out, the words sprouting up from his insecurities.

Josie narrowed her eyes slightly, "Oh you have got to be kidding me?" she shot back at him, "You're going to turn this on me? It took you two," she held up her fingers to exaggerate the point, "Two fucking hours to realize I was even gone. I can only assume you spent that time chatting up that slag of an ex."

Pete cringed at her words, knowing it wasn't the right path to go down but he couldn't help it. Knowing the fact that Dave had spent those two hours alone while Josie was vulnerable only added fuel to the fire, "Oh and Dave just happened to run into you here?"

"Oh. My. God." She hissed, "I am not having this argument. I am not going to sit here and proclaim my undying love for you while you accuse me of being a cheating whore. I'm not doing this jealously bullshit anymore – not on my end or yours." She threw up her hands in frustration and pulled her coat around her tightly, "I'm going to Emma's. It's the only place you can't find me. I need to just not be around you right now."

Josie moved to walk out but Pete blocked her, holding her upper arms in a tight grip, "Oh but talking to Dave will help?"

She glared up at him angrily, "Fuck you Pete. You seriously think I'm interested in Dave? How many fuckin' times do I have to sit here and tell you that you're it? Listen to me now, cause I'm only going to say this just one more time as it may be the last time."

Her brown eyes glistened with tears and Pete felt his heart breaking, not quite understanding why he was so convinced Josie would leave him when he'd been the one acting the fool, "Last time? You choosin' Dave over me or somethin'?"

At this Josie wrenched herself out of his grip, a solitary tear rolling down her cheek, "No." she just barely whispered, "It might be the last time because you may choose someone else. So listen to me and understand me loud and clear: I am stupidly, foolishly, ridiculously in love with you. I can barely breathe when I'm around you. I love everything about you even the shit that I hate – like your normal bullshit jealous. It physically kills me to be apart from you and to see you tonight; mooning over some girl and forgetting about my very existence nearly broke my fucking heart."

Pete stared at her, his heart falling to his stomach, his mind blank as he had no idea how to respond, "Do you think I'm an idiot? I know Dave feels something for me but so what?"

Hearing her confirmation of his worst nightmare snapped him from his daze, "So what?" he said through clenched teeth.

"Yes." She replied simply, "Who cares what he feels for me? I realized something tonight that I don't give a shit about all the other girls who are eyeing you up and down because I know how I feel and I know how you feel. At least…I thought I did," she trailed off painfully, feeling her stomach clench nervously.

"This isn't about other girls this is about you finally admitting you knew Dave has feelings for you and yet you continued to be all fuckin' friendly with him," Pete's head was spinning with anger and frustration and most of all, a feeling of dread. This was the first time he felt in serious danger of losing her.

"You just don't get it," she said, feeling her shoulder's sag in defeat, "This isn't about anyone else. This is about the two of us, about accepting that we can't control how other people feel but we can control our own damn relationship."

"How can this just be about us?" he asked, throwing his hands up in frustration, "How do you think I feel findin' out one of my best mates is in love with the girl I plan on fucking marrying?" he barely heard the sharp intake of air she took in at his words, "How do you think I feel watchin' every man in the Abbey undress you with their eyes while you flirt away with them? I just sit there and take it and the one time I don't shower you with affection you run right into Dave's waiting arms."

Josie's head throbbed in anger and tears flowed freely down her face as she stared into the familiar blue eyes that now held so much anger she recoiled back from him, "Christ if that's what you think, you don't know me at all. I'm not doin' this. I'm not going to stand here and listen to you berate me when I have done nothing wrong. I can accept that you wanted to catch up with an old friend. I can accept that you wanted time apart from me. But what I can't accept is you accusing me of cheating especially with one of your best mates. When you figure out if you actually trust me, we'll talk."

Pete watched in shock as she wiped the tears from her face, stood on tiptoe to kiss his cheek before dropping her head as more tears coated her cheeks, "Try to remember I love you," she whispered before finally pushing past him and out the door.

Pete stared at her retreating form, wondering if he should go after her and drop to his knees and beg for her to forgive him for being such a fuck up. Knowing it wasn't the best idea he instead walked back into her flat, looking down from the window to make sure she took a taxi so he at least wouldn't have to worry about her getting hurt. From the window he saw her get in a cab, giving one last lingering look up at her building, "You are out of your fuckin' mind, mate."

His entire body tensed at the sound of Dave's voice, "Fuck off – yer the last person I want to see right now."

Dave cringed, "Figured as much. I uh… I heard some of yer fight."

Pete glared at him angrily, "Heard how I know yer in love with my girlfriend?"

Dave blushed crimson, "Bruv, it's not how it seems."

He could barely contain his fury at his friend. To think that all this time Dave had been sitting there waiting in the wings for Josie to get sick of him caused a violent desire to smash Dave's face in. Pete breathed in, clenching his jaw before finally managing to respond, "Not how it seems? So explain to me then just what you was doin' with my girlfriend."

Dave gave a snort, "Jesus Pete – Josie is a person not a fuckin' possession."

At this the thin hold he had on his temper snapped and he crossed the room in two steps and before he knew it he had Dave pinned against the wall, his forearm holding him up by the neck, "Just watch your tongue bruv, you don't know shit about Joze and mine relationship."

Dave struggled against him and managed to at least free himself but Pete still had him pinned against the wall, towering over him angrily, "I know that apparently every month or so you freak out and nearly end things with her. What's this? The third time in as many months?"

"Twice you cunt. As I said – you know nothin' about Joze and I. We get into minor fights all the time, about stupid shit, its nothin' we can't get over. We love each other, it's enough," it has to be enough, he finished in his head.

"Oh Christ Pete," Dave gave a scornful laugh, "The fights aren't nothing. You're not the one who had to sit there watchin' her wasting away right in front of you when you decided to end shit with her. You didn't have to watch her eyes well up with tears anytime something reminded her of you – which was pretty much everything. So get off yer fuckin' high horse and realize just what it is yer doin' to her."

"What?" Pete asked in shock, "You think I'm bad for her?" he asked in disbelief.

"Yea bruv – I do. She deserves better."

And with that, any shred of control he had flew out the window as he drew his fist back and punched Dave square in the face. The resounding crunch did little to satisfy him and he felt hot guilt bubble in his stomach when he saw his friend bleeding. The two of them stood inches apart from each other as they glared evilly at each other, daring the other to do something.

Finally after a few tension filled minutes Dave lost a bit of his edge and he stepped back a few steps, "Listen Pete – I'm sorry. I know you love her and I'd be foolin' myself if I ever thought I 'ad a chance with her. Yer her choice, you'll always be her choice but if you don't stop your jealous bullshit you're gonna drive her away regardless how much she loves you."

"Choice?" Pete questioned as those words stuck out from the rest, "Did you ask her to choose?" he spat the word with disgust.

Dave's blush was the only confirmation he needed, "For fuck's sake Dave – I expect meddling from Bov. Hell – maybe even some of the other boys but you? You get what she means to me. You know I can't live without her."

Dave's eyes burned with shame and he reached a tentative hand out to grip Pete's shoulder, "I know and I've been a bloody fool. I shouldn't even think of movin on Joze – I just hate seein' her so upset."

"I don't like it any more than you do bruv," Pete rubbed his head in frustration, "I dunno what 'appened tonight. I mean – one minute Joze is breaking my nose and I'm askin' her to move in with me the next I'm fawnin' over Olivia like its seven years ago and I'm still a pimply virgin tryin' to feel up anythin' with tits."

Dave grimaced slightly, "I dunno mate but you've got to make shit right somehow."

"Mind explainin' to me some of what Josie was talkin' about when she said she had to think?" Pete asked, wondering just what had really happened in that two hour time span where Dave had apparently offered himself up and Josie had (thank fuckin' God) rejected him.

Dave cringed slightly, "Well I saw her leave and followed her out. She wasn't exactly sober and I wanted to make sure she got home alright."

"Thank you," Pete slipped in quietly, thankful that Dave had at least been there on the walk home.

Dave waved a hand to brush off his thanks, "Streets aren't exactly safe for her to be wanderin'. Anyways…I saw her take off and I was worried 'bout her walking home alone so I followed her. She was crying when I caught up to her but you know Joze, she tried to act ok," Pete cringed at his words. Josie tended to attempt to act stronger than she actually was but it was stubbornly endearing to him.

Dave hesitated and Pete narrowed his eyes, "Continue," he ordered.

"Well we had some tea, chatted for about an hour, she started bawling then I may have mentioned how if she was my girlfriend I'd never make her cry," he said, trailing off awkwardly.

That was the last thing Dave remembered besides the sight of Pete's fist hurtling through the air directly into his face.

Josie leaned her head against the cool glass of the taxi window, staring out of the silent London streets as she whistled by them. She glanced at her watch to see it was just half past 11 and she felt her stomach roll when she thought about how, under normal circumstances, she'd be seated in Pete's lap feeling undeniably happy and secure. Why is it all falling to shit now? She thought desperately, wondering what was going on with her once happy and carefree relationship.

I mean, we've had fights before…there was the whole GSE secret one, then the shit with the fake run in planned by Bovver and now this. Those were the only major fights they'd really had though, not bad she thought contemplating life before Pete compared to now. The man could be utterly frustrating and pigheaded to say the least but she knew she'd rather fight with him any day of the week than be just slightly satisfied with someone else. There was no doubt in her mind that Pete was it, that stupid run-in at the museum changed her previous life path to one that ran parallel with Pete's.

Tonight though, tonight was a wakeup call. Josie felt like they were hitting some kind of crossroads. The appearance of an old flame and Dave making a semi-play for her made her realize this. Cringing she thought back on the awkward chat with Dave that made her realize she really needed to get her thoughts straight about Pete and her relationship.

Earlier that evening:

Tears unwillingly streamed down Josie's face as she hurried towards her apartment, trying to get away from the Abbey as quickly as possible. Suddenly she heard footsteps behind her and someone shouting her name. She turned to see not the person she'd hoped for but instead was met with the sight of Dave running towards her. She tried to look happy to see him but failed miserably when she realized that Pete's best mate was more attentive to her feelings than he was.

"Hey Joze, I saw you runnin' out and I just wanted to make sure you got home alright," Dave said with a smile that Josie failed to return.

"Thanks Dave, you're too sweet. I'm sure I can make it home alright, why don't you head back to the pub?" she offered, preferring to be alone right now but didn't have the heart to flat out push him away.

"Nah, I'd rather avoid the present company there. Come on," he said, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, "Let's get you home."

Josie stiffened slightly at his touch. She'd been noticing more and more how much attention Dave showered on her and it was bad news to say the least. Pete wasn't exactly the most understanding boyfriend when it came to her friendship with other guys (and that was the understatement of the year.)

They walked in silence as Josie bit down on the inside of her cheek, trying to stop the tears that continued to threaten. As they reached her door, Dave lingered awkwardly for a few moments until Josie finally invited him in.

"Want some tea?" she offered, wanting nothing more than to be alone and curled up with a full glass of whiskey while she waited for Pete. He had to come over, she told herself, he would notice she was gone in a few minutes then he'd be here, kissing her sweetly and calling himself a twat for being so insensitive.

But that didn't end up being the case; instead Josie made tea slowly and sat on the couch with Dave, chatting about random subjects as they both tried to avoid the proverbial elephant in the room.

After an hour of trying to fight the tears Josie finally broke down unable to stop herself from sobbing into Dave's shoulder. He rubbed her back soothingly and she shut her eyes tight, trying to pretend it was Pete which only caused her to cry harder.

Silence reigned for a few minutes, broken only by her sobs when she finally pulled away from Dave, "Aw fuck Dave, I'm sorry; I'm sure this is the last way you wanted to be spending your Friday night: soaking shoulder due to a mate's blubbering girlfriend."

"Nah love, yer fine," Dave said reassuringly, rubbing her shoulder softly.

"Ugh," Josie sighed deeply, "I just wish he wasn't being sucha twat right now. Normally he's the jealous idiot and I'm the one reassuring him…I must say – I don't like it from the other side." She said, giving a weak laugh.

"Don't worry Joze, Pete's crazy about you…and hey, if that falls through I'd gladly step up. I'd never make you cry," Dave said, heart pounding as he gave a feeble offer of himself. Josie stared in shock at him, mouth open slightly, trying to determine if he was serious or not. Staring into his trusting brown eyes she realized no, this wasn't a joke, Dave would seriously take Pete's place should the opportunity arise.

She moved quickly off the couch, nearly falling in her haste to put space between them, not noticing how Dave's face fell and his shoulders sag, "I've got –. I just have to – . I mean – ," she started multiple times as she paced the small living room back and forth. Fuck, fuck, fuck what do I do? As her mind whirled, thoughts bouncing through her head she finally realized she was stuck – Pete was it. She wanted him. Only him. Forever.

And that scared the ever loving crap out of her.

Josie felt her knees weaken at the thought. She'd always known she loved him but marriage? Leaving the States forever, her family, her entire life and dreams that she'd had for so many years? And worst of all now it begged the question of whether he even felt the same way.

"I've got to get out of here," she finally managed to articulate, "I just need to be away from you and from Pete and from all of this." She said, flailing her arms about frantically. Dave watched her, concern plainly written on his face and a hint of embarrassment in his eyes at the rejection.

"Uh," Dave started, "Ook, well where are you going to go? Not home, Joze?? – Pete'll lose it."

"No no," she waved a hand, "Too far – Emma…" she finally breathed out. Grabbing her phone she quickly dialed the only girlfriend she had in the world, praying she'd answer this late at night.

"Josieposey! Love, what's goin' on?" at the sound of her friend's voice she sighed in relief.

"Hey – Em," Josie started, feeling her vocal chords clench slightly, "What'ere you doin'?"

"Nothin Joze…you ok? You're not hurt or anything are you?" Emma's tone turned frantic. Knowing the world of the GSE she tended to leap to the worst conclusion. Josie had the familiar urge to roll her eyes that it seemed everyone thought she was a fragile doll.

"I'm fine…I just had a favor to ask," she turned away from Dave and lowered her voice slightly, "Can I come stay with you for a few days?" she blurted out.

Shocked silence met her until Emma finally answered, "Of course! Jesus Joze, what's goin' on? You and Pete have a spat?"

Tears welled in her eyes again and she just barely managed to croak out, "Yes – I'm coming over now, we'll talk then – k?"

"Course, see you in a bit," Emma said as Josie disconnected the call.

She turned to face Dave, "I just need a few days away…I'm sorry." Josie turned on her heel before walking quickly into her room to pack.

Present:

"Ere we are miss," the taxi driver shouted, breaking through her haze. Josie looked up startled to see Emma's imposing Kensington flat and she threw money at the driver before vaulting out of the vehicle, wanting nothing more than this night to be over.

She looked into the lobby to see Emma waiting for her, relieved at the sight of her blonde friend she practically ran into the building, throwing her arms around her, "Thank you so much Em, I don't know what I'd do without you."

Emma gave a dismissive wave, "Not a problem peach, let's get you upstairs, into some jammies and then you can explain all about why you look like death."

Josie gave a watery grin in response, allowing her friend to pull her upstairs. Praying silently to herself, she hoped the few days to clear her head wouldn't drive Pete into the arms of another woman. She felt nauseous at the thought, trying to push the negative thoughts from her mind while focusing on the future. The unknown, wary future.

Thoughts? I hope it wasn't too disjointed and jumpy-aroundy, I'm still trying different things. Either way, let me know what you thought!