The update, a day late, but it's here!

July

Deeks awoke up in the morning and Kensi wasn't there, only a piece of paper over her pillow.

I was hoping this day wouldn't happen, but it did. I'm giving birth to Marty Jr., and I may change his name. I may not even let you see him…ever. Because you were being amazing to me and you were way more ready to be a parent than me, but your stubbornness caused this…I hate to make this choice, but either me and the baby or you're out of our lives…Now it's up to you; I did all I could, I gave everything to this relationship, something I never did before and now only you can fix this: or you stay, or you leave.

Deeks dressed up in a second and called Callen and Sam to know to which hospital to go, because there were no-one else she's be with. The two agents were divided: they understood Kensi's decision but Deeks seemed not only worried but also regretted. Sam's parental experience got into the conversation and Deeks ended up knowing where Kensi was. When he saw her, he rushed inside the room along with a nurse that he didn't even see. Seeing him meant that she had scared him for life, although the nurse was there for a reason too: to write down the information on the little boy, including his name. Deeks stepped ahead any speech the nurse was going to have.

"I'm sorry, Kens. I'm so sorry for everything, for being an idiot, and for being stubborn, and for not being there, but you know I never changed. I'm going to be here, just for you and the baby-" And the he stopped, frozen. Kensi had already given birth.

"You're son was born a couple of hours ago…" At that moment, Deeks turned and looked back. He found the nurse, stood and quiet for the whole time. "I'd just like to know his name, please?"

He smiled at her confidently. "His name is Martin Andrew Deeks, Jr." He walked to her direction, pointing to the clipboard. "Write it, right there. That's my boy's name!"

Kensi grinned, old Marty Deeks was back. But that didn't mean she had forgotten what happened. The fact of him being there didn't mean he would get away without having a conversation with her. The fact that he was scared didn't mean that he had changed. The nurse left the room and Deeks took a seat next to her on bed, grabbing her hand and putting a kiss on her lips, something she didn't let him do for the past two weeks.

"I know we'll have to talk. And talk really seriously."

"Glad you are aware of it." She answered, deviating the eyes to the outside.

"Can we please just be good today? Just today? Today is Independence Day, but most of all, our son was born."

"Only if you answer something to me." He nodded, waiting for her question, as her eyes focused again on his. "What are you going to do about your job?"

"I'm walking away. It was wrong, it impaired my life and…and I should have never done it."

"How can you walk away from a job like that? You're planning on getting killed?"

"Danny and I have the plan-"

"Danny knew about this?" Deeks silence answered her question, making her angrier at him. "So, you and Danny had it all planed?"

Deeks took then that time to explain Kensi the whole story from the beginning. When he finished, the only thing she said was what she has been saying for a couple of months. "You're seriously are the most stubborn person I know! Would it kill you to let me help?"

"Yes, it would. And yes, you were right: I feel demoted for you earning more than I do, not because of you being a woman, but…God, I don't know why. Maybe I'm just stubborn."

"More than stubborn you want to be the father that your father never was for you. But, damn, you could have done it much more easily. You didn't need to go to extremes."

"I've made the mistake, it's done. Now, we'll move on with the solution and…and then we can get together like a family."

"Are you willing to let be part of it?"

"Yes, I am." He sighed and smiled. "I'm willing to share."

Deeks was about to lean to kiss her when through the door entered everyone from work, Sam and Callen, Eric, Nell and Hetty. All of them brought a gift, all of them got the chance to hold the baby, but none held him for much longer, because Deeks didn't seem to let him go, and no-one judge him for that. He had made himself proud of hushing the little kid and putting him to sleep and nothing or anyone seemed capable to take from his face the smile he had. Unfortunately, everything changed.

Like Danny said, he had to disappear for a while, and that was what happened after the LAPD swoop called in by Danny two days after Marty's birth.

Kensi cradled her child in arms, soothing him, walking from side to side in the house. It had passed a week and Kensi was still seeing herself opening the door and seeing Danny on the outside, giving her the bad news. There was no report on the incident yet, and when it was made, it wouldn't leave LAPD. Killing an agent of its own team on swoop is a mistake, and it has to be silenced and kept under the radar. Kensi wouldn't get to know much more about Deeks' death than that. A LAPD agent mistaken him and shot him dead. Over the couch was still his badge and watch, since the day Danny handed it to her, a week ago.

Now the bell rang again, and Kensi was apprehensive to open it, but she did it anyway. This time was Callen the one by the door dressed in a black tuxedo, who simply said. "You need to come to the funeral, Kensi."

"I'm not leaving. I have a week old baby to take care, and nothing to do at a funeral."

"Kensi," Callen called her, following her inside the house and waited until she returned from lying down the baby at his crib. "you know this isn't just a funeral. You should come, to pay your last respects."

"I'm sorry, Callen, but I won't be going. I won't even get to see him." Tears started to rush down Kensi's face when she said it. She didn't know how bad he looked he may be, but for not being able to see his body, she was not expecting that he had had a very peaceful or quick death. "I don't want my last memory of Deeks to be his casket."

"Okay, I respect your decision. At least give Nate a call, and talk with him."

"Why do I need to call Nate? He'll say a magic spell and Deeks will come back to life again?"

"You need help to get through his death, Kensi. Don't try to play tough."

"I've been through this experience once, I already know the feeling…" But she couldn't deny that, as much as she was speaking about it, more she was crying. "I can handle it myself."

"You know you can count on us to everything, don't you?"

"I'll take these three months to get my life on tracks again."

"Sam and I will pass here once in a while to check on you, okay?"

Kensi nodded and walked him to the door. She just wanted to be alone, in her silence. She went to the baby's bedroom and picked him up carefully to not awake him. Before taking him to her bedroom, she looked at his bedroom: everything that was there had been brought by his father. The bedroom was now filled with everything needed, something that was worrying for Deeks some months ago. She sighed and walked, laying him over her bed and lied down next to him, caressing his few hairs.

"It seems like mom is not meant to have men in her life. First your grandpa, now your dad…What about you, little man? I won't let you go away, you hearing me? You'll be my man, the man who will not go away…Mom promises to take good care of you, to be the best mom in the world. I'll raise you to be a man like your father…"

Kensi's next three months involved suffering in silence, getting through her boyfriend's death and taking care of their son. She was visiting houses she could afford, closer to work and closer to the daycare she had chosen to enroll Marty, but she hasn't yet changed home. Then, it came the time to go to work again.

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