Sooo, I've been away from this for a long time. I'm not sure how I feel about the direction the story took & have contemplated doing a whole re-write but I'm just not sure if I want to commit to such a project. I do know that I don't want to leave this unfinished so it will get done.
Hopefully there are still people out there interested in the story but who knows...enjoy
Dah dum. Dah dum. Dah dum.
"Joze – knock it off! You're drivin' me nuts," Emma cried out in frustration. She'd spent twenty minutes sitting with a blank staring Josie who'd alternated between drumming her fingers on the table and sipping coffee that Emma was pretty sure was spiked with Jameson's.
Josie finally looked straight at Emma, heaving a massive sigh and her fingers twitched to the scarf around her neck, "I'm sorry Em, I just can't get my thoughts together – I can't stop freaking out for even a minute."
"I know you can't love, but you called me to talk and we've been sitting in dead silence since I got here," Emma said softly.
"I know and I meant to use this time wisely as Pete's only at rehab for so long," Josie said back, with tears suddenly shining in her eyes. "I just don't know what to do," she whispered softly before dropping her head to the table with a loud thud.
"Just talk it out Josie Jo: act like I'm in your head," Emma suggested while taking her hand and squeezing it comfortingly.
Josie gave a wry smile, "Your funeral Ems but fine: I don't know what to do. My family is my life; they've been everything to me since I was a little girl. They were all I had. They were all I really needed. Then," she said with a sigh and unwillingly giving a soft smile, "I met Pete. And now that stupid boy – GSE and all – is all I need in my life. I can't give up either of them but now it doesn't seem like I'm allowed to have them both. It's like I'm being punished," she whispered.
"Why in all that's holy do you think you're being punished?" Emma asked in shock.
Josie gave an awkward shrug of her shoulders, looking down at the table as she swiveled her cup around, "Cause it was my fault my mum left…I'm the reason that I'm all my family has. Now…well now I'm the one tearing us apart again."
"Josephine Murphy," Emma said angrily, gripping her friend's forearm slightly, "You are not to blame for your dumb twat of a mother," Josie's mouth dropped open in shock at Emma's words as she'd never heard her prim and proper friend ever use such dirty language, "Oh don't look at me like that – I've picked up some of your boy's awful language.
"But it's the truth Joze – you are not to blame for that. You are not your dad and brothers' keeper. If you love Pete – and it's more obvious than the fact that the sky is blue that you do – than that's what you deserve. A long. Happy. Life with the man that you're clearly meant to be with. It's not going to be easy, its gonna be really really hard – "
Emma broke off when Josie snorted slightly and a giggle slipped out, "What?" Emma asked, annoyed that Josie was now laughing when she'd looked like she was near tears a minute ago.
"That's from The Notebook you idiot," Josie breathed through her giggles, the stress of the past few days causing her to be a little bit more off than usual.
Emma rolled her eyes but felt a smile pull at her lips nonetheless, "Well I'm glad my little speech broke you out of your catatonic state. And Jesus Joze – it's ten-thirty in the morning, whiskey?" she asked, arching her eyebrow slightly and her suspicion was confirmed when Josie flushed a deep shade of red.
Shoving her drink away she stuck her tongue out playfully, "I've been stressed out," she replied defensively before smiling brightly. "Did I ever tell you that you're the best friend a girl could have?"
Emma grinned back at her, "You have not but thank you love. Now that you have your head on straight, what are you gonna do?"
Josie face fell slightly, "Daddy slightly over-exaggerated when he said we were leaving tomorrow, since that was yesterday and I'm obviously still here. He's bought plane tickets for all of us to leave on Friday," she said, pout firmly in place.
"All of you?" Emma asked in a slightly strangled voice as she realized that Friday was currently just three short days away.
Josie sighed, knowing where she was going with this, "Yes – Colin too…it's like Daddy has gone crazy after – well after my little accident. He's just worried about us and he tends to over-react when he thinks any hurt or pain is gonna come to us. He loves us – I know he does but he just sees as little kids still, kids that have to be protected from the huge, dangerous world that we live in."
Emma sighed, feeling her insides twist at the thought of not only Josie leaving but Colin too, "You didn't answer my question Joze," she said softly.
"I'm staying," she replied simply, "Pete's my home – where he is, is where I'm meant to be. But I can only decide for me," she stated bluntly, taking Emma's hand and staring at her with apology in her eyes.
"I know," Emma whispered, "I just – I've just become abnormally attached to him." She said, wiping a tear that was making its way down her cheek, "You Murphy's are quite intoxicating."
Josie grinned at her, "I know. And he does seem different – I'd say fifty-fifty he stays."
"Oh how reassuring," Emma replied sarcastically.
"I'm sorry Ems – I just don't want to lie in case he does leave. I don't wanna see you hurt," Josie pled with her, squeezing her hand lightly.
Before Emma could respond the door of the small flat flung open and Colin stormed into the room looking like he was about to rip his hair out. His mouth was open in preparation for a rant when he caught sight of Emma seated with his sister. His entire face softened and he visibly relaxed as he approached the two girls.
He leaned down to kiss Emma softly, "Hi you," he breathed out and she smiled up at him before tilting her face up to kiss him again. Josie sat watching the two of them, a small smile on her face to see her brother and best friend looking so right together.
"Well you calmed down in a hurry," Josie joked as Colin took a seat at the small kitchen table, pulling his chair flush with Emma's,
"Oh shut it Josie Jo," he said with a slight smirk before his face turned serious again, "You ready for the family meeting?"
"Family meeting?" Emma questioned, wondering why Josie hadn't mentioned it since she'd arrived about an hour ago.
Colin rolled his eyes, "Yes we're in our twenties and still have family meetings – Joze gets embarrassed by 'em, always has."
Josie nodded her head stiffly, "Well this one isn't exactly about if we should renew our Bruins season tickets, it's a bit more serious than that. I'm slightly worried Daddy is going to try to kidnap me."
"You'll be fine," Colin said, reaching across the table to give her shoulder a reassuring grip, "I'll be there."
"Yeah…and so will Pete," Josie said, dropping her gaze from her now glaring brother.
"No. No he will not," Colin ordered sternly as Emma's eyes darted between the two siblings who both had their jaws stubbornly set and she prepared to witness another Murphy fight.
"Yes. I will," a fourth voice joined them and Josie looked up startled to see Pete smiling at her softly before he leaned down, tilting her face to his and kissing her gently. Josie felt her heart leap to her throat at the feel of his soft lips on hers. He grinned down at her before turning a stern look at Colin as he pulled Josie up from her seat before sitting down and pulling her onto his lap, careful to place her weight on his good leg.
Colin tried to ignore Pete's very presence which was only made more difficult when Josie wrapped an arm around his neck, holding onto him tightly. It's not that he didn't like Pete – on the contrary, he'd liked him the minute he found out he'd offered to pick them up at the airport for their Christmas surprise and that fondness only continued to grow. But family meetings were family meetings: there were no outsiders. Ever.
"Joze, I get you want to present a united front but he ain't family," Colin addressed his sister who only glared back at him while Pete fixed him with a cold stare that he tried his hardest to ignore but even though the man was still badly impaired by injury Pete managed to strike fear into the other.
"He's as good as. And he won't be at the actual table with us; he'll be at the bar. I just need him there," Josie finished in a small voice.
Colin gave her a hard look that she was reluctant to meet but when she finally did and he saw the determination behind her soft brown eyes he dropped his head slightly, sighing in defeat "Whatever…they won't be happy, ya know?"
"No shit," Josie mumbled back, "But I'm not exactly their favorite person right now so I might as well make myself feel a bit better."
"True," Colin said in resignation before glancing over at Emma who looked slightly ill at the conversation going on. Focusing his attention on her, he squeezed her hand gently and softened his voice, "Hey, wanna grab somethin' to eat before Josie Jo and I have to go deal with our wicked overprotective family?"
Emma managed a small smile up at him as she nodded her head in agreement. The two stood to leave and Josie actually pulled off a rather large, genuine smile as her brother carefully placed his hand on the small of her friend's back, "I'll see you there – you know how to get there alright?"
Josie rolled her eyes at her brother, wondering just when he became so comfortable in London to be giving her directions, "Yes Col – I think I can manage."
Colin reached down to ruffle her hair as he walked past, "Just lookin' out for my baby sister," he addressed her before giving a curt nod in Pete's direction then took Emma's hand to lead her out of the small flat.
Once they were alone Pete blew out a puff of frustrated air as he rested his chin on Josie's shoulder who gently ran her fingertips along the back of his knuckles. They sat in silence for a few minutes, happy to just be with each other when Pete finally spoke, "Josie?"
"Yes baby?" she replied, eyes closed in contentment as he ran a soothing hand along her leg.
"What's gonna happen today?" he asked gruffly, voice rough with emotion.
Josie turned in his lap, placing her legs on either side of him and holding his face firmly in her hands, "I'm going to tell them where you are, is where I need to be."
Pete raised a skeptical eyebrow, "And just 'ow will they take that?"
Sighing heavily and resting her forehead against his, she bit her lip before answering nervously, "Erm…I imagine not well. Daddy tends to be quite stubborn."
"A trait that clearly skipped a generation, eh love?" he said, smirking slightly as moved aside her scarf and placed a tender kiss to her still bruised neck. Anger still pulsed through him at the sight of the bruises that were only just beginning to fade and he shut his eyes tightly as he gripped her hips and pulled her closer to him.
"Stop that," Josie whispered into his ear as she kissed him softly at the sensitive area at the base of his neck which caused Pete to glance up at her in confusion. "Stop blaming yourself Pete – you didn't do this to me. Some nut job that destroyed his own life did this, if I don't blame you why the hell do you think its okay to walk around with this pained look on your face like I'm suffering by being with you?"
Pete sighed softly, trying to collect his thoughts while he stared into Josie's soft brown eyes. He reached a hand up to trace down the bridge of her nose before resting his thumb on her full bottom lip, "You deserve better than me Joze. What good have I brought to your life?"
Josie rolled her eyes at him, "Christ, are you that desperate to get rid of me?" Pete opened his mouth to protest but she placed a finger on his lips to quiet him, "Cause that's what it seems like with your stupid questions: what have you brought to my life? You've brought me you. You're everything to me, you've no idea how insanely happy you make me and how since the moment we've been together I've known that you're it. So just knock it off, you deserve me – whether you like it or not."
Leaning closer she kissed him hard on the lips and he grinned into it, "Fuck me – I've no idea what I did to trick you into falling in love with me but whoever up there likes me enough to give me you is alright by me."
Josie wrapped her arms around his neck as she buried her face in his neck, "I've tink wef ould og," she said, words coming out muffled and Pete snorted slightly.
"What was that love? Didn't quite 'ear ya," he said with a smile playing on his face.
"I said," Josie answered back softly as her face fell serious, "I think we should go."
"I guess you're right," Pete said, reluctantly allowing her to climb off his lap. She offered him a helping hand up which he grasped lightly as he pulled himself into a standing position. He tested his bad leg, cringing at the slight pain that shot up his leg. It was getting better, slowly but surely with continued physical therapy but it was still a constant ache that he was trying to get used to.
Josie glanced over at Pete as he tried to hide his grimace, deciding not to comment she moved quickly into their bedroom to grab her jacket and bag. Coming out she saw Pete waiting by the door, ready to face their fate together. He smiled at her softly as he held his hand out to take hers. She took it quickly as he linked their fingers together and dragged her out of the comfort of their flat, both of their stomachs fluttering with nerves at what could potentially befall them.
"Right – so we just don't give her an option," Eamon Sr. stated gruffly as he stared at his two oldest boys.
"Da?" Ronan interrupted, cringing slightly when he earned a stern glare at having interrupted his father.
"What Rone?"
"It's just that…well shouldn't we wait for Joze and Colin to get here before we start the meeting? This isn't how we normally do it…" he said, voice trailing off apprehensively at the look on his father's face.
Eamon Jr. wore a matching glare, "Not a normal situation. You know how blinded Josie can be. She thinks she loves Pete and that he's worth gettin' herself killed for. But he aint and it'll take our combined strength to make her see that."
Ronan bit his lip to stop the flow of words, suddenly very wary of his family's intentions for this meeting. All he wanted was his little sister safe and happy. Unfortunately it seemed like her safety was at risk from the man that made her over the moon, head in the sky happy.
The three men sat in silence, staring at the door anxiously for their remaining two family members to arrive. The door finally swung open to reveal…
Colin. Alone. Ronan tilted his head to the side in confusion, wonder where Josie Jo is? And he heard the others grumble angrily as well.
Colin strode towards the table, plopping down into the seat next to his father and oldest brother, "Boys." He said with a smug nod that they all glared at.
"Don't be an ass Colin. This is all your fault, ya know?"
"Oh for fuckssake Eams, Josie would've never gone with me willingly and you three know it. It was a half-baked plan at best me bein' able to convince her to come home with me and without Pete," Colin grumbled at them.
Eamon Sr. fixed his youngest son with a penetrating stare, "We know she wouldn't have gone willingly but it's not her choice. We know what's best for her, she'll get over him."
Colin opened his mouth to protest but was surprisingly cutoff by Ronan, "Jesus Dad – what're we gonna do? Throw her over our shoulders and drag her – kicking and screaming – to the airport? Then what? Lock her up for the rest of her life? She won't be happy without him."
"Well she won't be safe with him either," Eamon Jr. glared back at Ronan, eyes filled with disbelief at the fact that their historically strong family was weakening and dividing before his very eyes.
As the lines became clearly drawn: the two Eamons on one side with Colin and surprisingly Ronan on the other, the door swung open to reveal the topic the discussion, that had finally arrived. All four men sighed in relief to see her because as mad as they were at her she was still their daughter and sister and she meant the world to them.
They started to smile, until they realized she wasn't alone, only Colin kept the small grin on his face at the sight of the tall blonde. Pete towered over Josie's small frame, large hand resting softly on the small of her back as they walked through the door together.
Josie faltered slightly at the sight of the glares being thrown in her direction. She felt Pete squeeze her hip reassuringly and she glanced up at him, relieved to see the reassurance that met her stare. It was as though he was shouting loudly to her that he was right here and wouldn't be going anywhere.
When they were a few feet from the table her family sat at Pete squeezed her hip once more before moving towards the bar but was stopped when Josie pulled on his hand. She pulled him down to kiss him gently, "Thank you." She whispered before turning to face her family.
Pete reluctantly left her side to go sit at the bar, settling in to keep a close eye on Josie. He hated having to let her face this alone but knew better than to argue with her.
Josie nodded slightly at her family as she took the final empty seat between Colin and Ronan. To her overwhelming shock Ronan took her hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze as he leaned over to kiss her cheek gently. She turned in shock before smiling softly and returning the squeeze.
Her father cleared his throat roughly and she looked up at him startled, "Daddy…" she started to say before he held a hand up at her to stop.
"No Josephine – it's our turn to talk," he said firmly and Josie felt her stomach tighten in knots. She felt like she was in grade school again and had just brought home a D in math. Both her father and eldest brother fixed a glare at her and she cringed back at the sight.
"We understand that you think you love that boy but it's not safe – he's not safe to be with," Eamon Jr. replied back with a bitter bite to his words.
Josie felt her face heat with anger and as she opened her mouth to talk back her father continued in an angry stream, "Do not even try to argue that Josephine Bailey. Since you've been with that boy you've ended up in the hospital twice in varying degrees of injury and you've nearly died both times. On top of that he landed himself in a coma because of a stupid sport yet you still insist on remaining with an immature boy who has no idea how to protect the girl he's supposedly in love with? Why can't you see this?" he finished with a plea.
Pete bit down on his lip hard, trying to restrain himself from storming over to give Josie's father a piece of his mind knowing it would only serve to cause more tension than there already was. His fists were clenched at his side and he knew Josie's temper must be hanging on by a thread. Again, he saw her open her mouth to answer but she was once again silenced by her oldest brother.
"Josie Jo please," he begged in an uncharacteristic soft tone, "We can't lose you."
Blinking back tears, Josie sat in silence as she stared at the faces of her family. The faces of the men that had always been there and always loved her. As the minutes ticked by she glanced at the bar to see Pete eyeing her carefully. Feeling her chest burn at the sight of him she knew she had no choice that would benefit everyone.
Choking back tears, she swallowed hard before speaking, "You're not going to lose me…" she said taking another deep gulp of air, "But I can't leave Pete. I just…can't."
Colin took her hand in his and squeezed it gently but her eyes remained on her father and Eamon. Her father's eyes were shut tight and he was rubbing his temples in frustration while Eamon looked fit to kill, "Daddy please understan – "
"No," her father said, forcefully cutting her off. "If this is your choice, if he is your choice," he spat while giving a nod in the direction of the bar, "Then I won't stand by and watch you destroy yourself. I don't have the strength to attend your funeral so consider this my final goodbye. At least I'll get to remember you alive and somewhat healthy."
Disbelief painted her face as Josie watched her father stand up on unsteady feet, the look on his face a mixture of anger and love before he turned and stormed from the pub. Eamon sat shell shocked for a moment before he leaned over to kiss Josie on the cheek softly, "Bye bye Josie Jo."
Then he was out the door following her father while all Josie could think about was did they really just say their final words to her. Ronan and Colin sat with her, both unsure as to what had just occurred. As the tears began to pour down her face Pete was at her side in an instant, large hand resting on the back of her neck rubbing soothing circles that did nothing to calm her. She dropped her head to the table, sobs racking her body as she realized she'd certainly made her decision but she wasn't quite sure if it was the right one.