Gosh its just been forever! Sorry to have kept you waiting - & I do wish I could say this would totally make up for it but its shorter than usual & could really only be defined as a 'filler.' Anyways, I am trying to get back into writing more on this but when I say this chapter was a struggle I mean it - I had, no lie, 5 different versions started on this one and it still doesn't feel quite right.
Anyways, I'll shut up now with just one final thank you for still reading this shit!
"So Colin's got her by one ankle, I've got 'er by the other and the next thing we know she's screamin' bloody murder while she's hanging three stories above the ground."
"Then we feel a pull from the other end and it's a legit tug of war while Josie Jo is just screaming nonstop."
"Then all three idiots relinquished their hold and down I went – three story fall into the filthy bar dumpster that saved my life," Josie finished while both Colin and Ronan sat, clutching their sides in laughter.
Pete stared at the three siblings as they happily (and drunkenly) laughed through the memory. Ronan was gasping for breath as he took a long gulp of beer before continuing, "Poor Joze, dangling above the ground at seven years old while she caught an unfortunate eyeful of Eamon."
Josie stared at her two remaining brothers, "Not like you fools felt bad at all – you two just laughed your asses off, unable to even hold on tight to me while I landed in a pile of trash."
"God we wanted to know what teenage guys do during 'tutoring' when they get older, little did we know that sending a girl to do the dirty work wasn't the smartest idea. Joze couldn't explain what she'd seen – she just sat with a traumatized look, lying in a pile of trash while the two of us bombarded her with questions," Colin said with a laugh.
"The three of us weren't the brightest kids as you can tell," Josie said with a short laugh and a distant look on her face, "But fuck that was just the funniest time…"
Voice trailing off Josie quietly stared into the faces of her brothers as they fell quiet at the same time, "Christ," Ronan muttered, "Feels like that scene in Saving Private Ryan where he's talkin' about the last time all his brothers were together before three of 'em bit it."
Josie felt her eyes start to well with tears and she squeezed her eyes shut tight before exhaling slowly, "I was just thinking that…this is a nightmare." Eyes still closed she reached for Pete's hand and he squeezed it reassuringly before pulling it up and placing a soft kiss to her palm.
The table fell quiet, littered with empty pint glasses and filled ash trays as the three Murphys that had remained in the pub after their brother and father walked out sat lost in thought. Pete felt like an intruder on what felt like a funeral but when he'd tried to leave earlier Josie had nearly lost it.
Draining the rest of her pint, Josie bit her lip in thought that also seemed to help stem the near constant stream of tears, "They still love you Joze, you know that right?" Colin asked softly.
Trying her best to believe him, she nodded her head wordlessly, "I think I need to go home," she managed to choke out.
Josie stood up carefully, swaying slightly on unsteady feet. She'd been throwing back pints in the hope that it would numb the pain that was ripping through her body. It had been unimaginable that her family would ever fall apart like this and the hurt it came with seemed to emanate from her toes to the very top of her head.
Ronan stood up on equally unsteady feet and pulled her into a bone-crushing hug, "I love you Josie Jo," he murmured into her hair before placing a soft kiss to the crown of her head, "They'll come around. I'm heading home soon and I'll talk to them after they've had a chance to cool down."
Staring up at her brother through tear-filled eyes as she tried to believe his words but they seemed so empty despite the fierce tone lacing his promise, "Just take care of yourself, Rone." While she stood on tiptoe to kiss his cheek softly and gave his hand one last squeeze.
Colin stood as well and as he pulled Josie into another tight hug Ronan brought his hand up to squeeze his youngest brother's shoulder while his other rested on his sister's back as Pete just stared at the three siblings locked in their own private hell of his making. He felt his stomach bubble with guilt at the sight, feeling a tornado of emotions.
No matter what Josie said all Pete could think about was how much he'd fucked up her life. But he'd be damned if he was going to tell Josie that again. She seemed hell bent on being with him and he was willing to take that gift.
The minutes passed in silence, broken only by the subdued pub noises around them until Josie finally pulled away from her brothers and locked her arm around Pete's waist, "Well boys – I'll be seeing you." She said with the strongest voice she could manage before holding her head high and dragging Pete out of the pub.
The couple walked silently down the darkened street, a light rain falling upon them as they went towards the nearest tube stop. After a few steps Josie pulled her hand out of Pete's and before he had a chance to protest she'd wrapped her arm around his waist and nestled into his side. Pete dropped a kiss on top her head but remained silent, just taking comfort in the fact she was still his.
As they shoved their way through the crowds of tourists and pub goers to reach the platform Josie kept a death grip on Pete's hand but had still yet to say a word. It was disarming as she was rarely silent, especially when she was with him.
Josie turned towards Pete and wrapped herself around him, hugging him tight. Pete tucked her head under his chin as he gently squeezed her, "We should get married," Josie mumbled into his chest.
Pete felt the familiar butterflies at the thought of marrying her but was slightly confused as he thought they'd covered that when he'd proposed, "Ok Joze, sure…but thought we'd established that with that pretty little ring on your finger and me being down on one knee & shit."
Josie rolled her eyes and the expression was so familiar Pete felt some of the tension ebb away. They were going to be okay – whether it killed him, he'd spend the rest of his life making sure she was happy.
"I meant why wait? There's no point in having some big fancy wedding, we can just go to a justice of the peace or whatever the British equivalent is," she said in earnest as she stared up at him, her eyes pleading softly with him.
Pete took a slight step back from her but kept his arms around her, "Joze…I thought you wanted a wedding – the white dress, the party, our friends and family surrounding us?" They hadn't had much opportunity to talk about it but he knew her well enough to know that she would want at least some type of ceremony and to have all of their loved ones included, "I think Emma'd have my balls if I stole you away and eloped, thereby negating all need for a maid of honor."
"Well I did…but now…" her voice faltered as she tried to bite back more tears, "There just doesn't seem a point to a big party if half my family won't be showing up."
"Josie, baby, we don't have to rush it," he replied as he pulled her into his chest, rubbing her back softly, "I'm not going anywhere. We'll sort this shit out with your dad and brother then we'll get married. It won't feel right without their blessing."
Her brown eyes glistened with tears as she gave him a watery smile, "God I wish I had your confidence," she mumbled but leaned up to kiss him softly. "What'd I do to deserve such a great bloke?"
Pete snorted in response as he reluctantly relinquished his tight hold on her so they could get on the train, "More like who'd you piss off to be stuck with me," he said with a slight grin as he gently maneuvered her onto the train and into a vacant corner on the packed train.
They spent the ride in silence as Josie chose to just take comfort in being locked in Pete's arms. Her life had been completely flipped about and occasionally she felt a wave of panic rise up within her that she desperately tried to squash down by thinking about her future with Pete.
They had to be ok. Her family would be whole one day and Pete would be a member of it and they'd all live happily ever after. Hah, yeah right – but one could dream.
Pete hurried out of the bedroom to answer the banging on the door before it had the opportunity to wake Josie up. Reaching the door he flung it open, fully prepared to lay into whoever was behind it for potentially disturbing the girl that recently began to suffer from insomnia after she'd finally fallen asleep.
Until the face behind the door was that of Matt Buckner.
His anger momentarily forgotten he stood so shocked to the core that he was speechless as he stared at his brother-in-law that had been missing for nearly two months. Matt stood with a duffle bag at his feet and a look on his face that was a mixture of shame and pity as his eyes took in Pete's still clearly damaged right leg which was the only remaining evidence of his brush with death.
The two stood locked in silence, neither one sure what to say for a few long minutes as they stared each other down. The tension lurked in the air heavily until a third voice joined them, "Baby? Who's here this early?"
Broken from the spell Pete's head whipped around to see Josie leaning against the door in a pair of his old boxers and baggy t-shirt trying to wipe the sleep from her eyes. It was just past 5 AM and she'd only just fallen asleep two hours ago. Pete had taken to trying to stay up with her while she fought for rest and it was wearing both of them out. Needless to say, the loss of her father and oldest brother from her life was taking a major toll on her.
Anger came flooding into his veins when he saw that Josie's precious amount of sleep had been disturbed, "Nobody that should be," Pete said as he fixed Matt with a hard stare. It wasn't just his life that had fallen apart after that final fight with Hatcher's boys but his brother wasn't faring any better and this man's family was the reason for that.
Pete at least still had Josie, his mates as well as his job, Steve hadn't been so lucky. Shannon had fled back to the States with Ben in tow and not spoken one word to her husband. Two months of silence from the woman he loved and his only child. On top of that Steve was facing an inquiry at work after the police investigation over Hatcher's allegations, even though no formal charges had been filed. Overall things didn't look too good for his older brother.
"Pete – look – " Matt started to say but was cut off when the door slammed abruptly in his face. Pete felt his unbridled rage shaking from within as he stalked away from the door towards Josie, pulling her arm to lead her back to bed. He stopped when he felt her resist his pull and as he locked eyes with her he cringed at the fire in the brown orbs.
"Tell me you did not just do what I think you did to a member of your family?" she questioned bitterly while wrenching her arm from his grip.
Pete blew a puff of frustrated air out as he stared down at her. He should have known that Josie would react this way. He took her face in his hands, meeting her glare head on, "Joze – it's not the same thing. He walked out on us, ran from what he'd fought to come back to the second it got ugly."
Josie batted his hands away from her, "I don't give a shit Dunham, he is family," she stressed the word as she stormed towards the door before Matt had a chance to leave. Flinging it open she saw Matt was still standing there unsurely and Josie pulled him quickly into a tight hug.
Hearing Pete make a grunt of anger behind her she wheeled around to shoot him a glare as she pulled Matt into the room, "I'll make some tea while you two boys chat."
Matt remained hesitant, rocking back and forth on his feet near the door as though he was contemplating fleeing. Although Josie had pulled him in and seemingly accepted his return he knew that Pete would be a different story, "Whatever Yank – take a seat," Pete finally grumbled out. Sighing in slight relief Matt moved towards the familiar, small kitchen table to take a seat for one of the hardest conversations he'd ever set out to have.
Pete dropped into the seat across from him, fixing his hard stare on him while Josie moved around the two of them quickly making tea for them both. The suffocating silence surrounding them was finally broken by the whistle from the teapot signaling it was time to talk.
"Pete - " Matt started hesitantly, glancing down at his mug of tea while trying to formulate a thought that would make what he'd done alright. Weighing his words carefully he stared across at the unforgiving eyes of the man he thought of as a brother. "I'm not sure where to begin…" he trailed off pathetically.
"How bout you start with why it is you decided to just fuck off back to the States without a word to the lot of us?" Pete offered bitterly, shrugging off Josie's hand that she'd just placed soothingly on his shoulder.
Matt had the good sense to look embarrassed as well as ashamed but still managed to meet Pete's stare head on, "I had to take care of my sister," was the simple response he finally managed to spit out.
Pete softened slightly. He could hardly begrudge Matt wanting to look out for his sibling with Colin had been doing the same thing for Josie ever since he'd been a coma.
"I straightened my life out too – managed to get my degree from Harvard and figured now that's done and Shannon is doing a little better that I'd try to make things right with you," Matt said softly, staring into the murky tea water while feeling like he was being interrogated.
Pete sighed heavily, dropping his head to his hands while running them through his hair. Josie sat quietly beside him and he felt her soft touch on his knee, "Yeah alright," he said and he could practically feel Josie's glee emanating off of her. He wasn't particularly thrilled with Matt but he knew that he couldn't hold a grudge for long – they'd all lost too much.
Josie squealed in delight as she leapt up, pulling Pete up and motioning for Matt to do the same as she shoved them together in an awkward man-hug, "Now, Pete you make up the sofa for Matt and I'm going to go try to fall back asleep."
She squeezed Matt's shoulder before turning to hug Pete, "I love you," she whispered in his ear and kissed his neck softly then pulled away to crawl back into bed.
Pete set up a bed for Matt in silence, still trying to wrap his head around the fact that he was back, "How is she?"
Startled, Pete glanced up to see Matt with a look of concern on his face, "Well between her nearly dying, me nearly dying then half her family disowning her I'd say she's had a rough fuckin' go of it," he spat out, the words coming out in a bitter stream.
Matt winced as he took that in, "Her family disowned her?" he questioned in disbelief, remembering how close she'd been to them.
"Yeah, her oldest brother and father," Pete said shortly, not going any further into the train wreck that had been their lives over the past two months. Things had more or less returned to normal except that the wedding plans were at a standstill, Josie slept a total of three hours a night and Pete was about to fly to the States and beat the shit out of her family until they agreed to make amends. So in general, it was about as normal as he'd come to expect with their relationship. He was convinced that girl would be the death of him but he found he didn't quite care about his own sanity as long as he was making her happy.
"I am sorry, Pete. For everything. I've been talking to Shannon, trying to convince her to do the right thing and talk to Steve…I think I've been wearing her down but it hasn't been easy," Matt said pathetically while Pete fought to control his anger.
"Yeah well – get to sleep. We'll sort through more of this mess in a few hours." Tossing a pillow onto the couch he brushed by Matt, anxious to get away from this confrontation and to be back cocooned in bed with Josie.
He walked quietly back into their bedroom, smiling slightly as he saw her curled up in bed, brown hair thrown about like a halo around her head, his old t-shirt riding up a bit so he had a slight view of her slim waist. Hearing him enter her eyes snapped back open and she gave him a soft smile, "You tuck him in and kiss his forehead nuh-night?"
"Oi, don't be a tart," he said with a smirk as he did a little skip and leap move back into the bed, nearly crushing Josie on the landing.
"Christ that was graceful, you ever thing about taking up ballet?" she joked softly as he moved to lay over her small body, holding his arms up so he didn't crush her and sighing as she rubbed her hands up and down his arms, her touch causing goosebumps to appear on his skin.
"You'd like that wouldn't you? Seeing me run around in tights and shit?"
"Oh yes," she sighed dramatically, "It's always been my dream to date a ballerino."
Pete grinned down at her, "Is that what male ballerinas are called?"
"Fuck if I know but it sounds like it could be," she said with a smile. He leaned down to kiss her gently before rolling them over so she was straddling him, "I'm proud of you, ya know."
Tucking a stray hair behind her ear as her face fell serious he smiled slightly, "Only you'd be proud of such a simple encounter. It still ain't all cozy, warm and cuddly but I don't think I can do to him what's been done to you."
Josie leaned down to kiss him softly, moving her lips along his jaw line to nibble softly on his ear, "You, Mr. Dunham, are possibly my very favorite person in the world."
"That right, love?" Pete said with a smirk as he ran his hands along her bare thighs, feeling the heat from her kisses trail ignite his nerves down to his toes, "Because just last week – and I quote – you said you'd shove me down a flight of stairs if it meant you had half a shot with that nancy fake football bloke Tom Brady."
Josie snorted and rolled her eyes as she smirked lightly, "Well I did say 'possibly' didn't I?"
"Oh I am so lucky that he's across the pond or else I'd have to consider locking you in the basement to avoid you trying to leave me," Pete answered back as he linked his fingers with hers.
"Never," she replied back, turning more serious as she pulled back to stare into his eyes, "I joke but you're it. You're stuck with me for life so you'd better get used to it.
"Now I certainly like the sound of that. Besides – why on earth would you ever leave a poor teacher to be with a world famous athlete? I mean, the choice is obvious," he grinned back at her as she leaned in to continue her line of kisses down his body.
"Since I know you aren't quite happy about the whole having to forgive Matt thing how about I let you take advantage of me – loudly – so that he has a super awkward first night back?" Josie asked with a devilish grin.
Pete gripped her hips and flipped them over, causing Josie to squeal, "Thank fuck you've got such a dirty mind Joze, because I was already planning on it."
So, that's the latest installment - thoughts? Is there anyone out there? Helloooo?
Any ways, Matts back, Josie & Pete love each other (obvi) and we'll see where things will go. I'd like to get past this murky part & get to a wedding soonish soo stay tuned :)