See Chapter 1 for warnings & info
Sir Robert found himself unable to relaxwhen his thoughts were filled with Merlin and how much the boy was suffering. Tying his dressing gown, the former knight left his room and headed for Merlin's, heedless of how such an act might look to others. "Merlin?" he knocked softly on the door. "Forgive me, but I wanted to check and see if you're alright."
Wearing only sleep pants, Merlin crawled out of bed and made his way to the door. He opened it and stepped aside. "You can come in if you want." It would be better than the man standing outside in his dressing gown. That would start far more rumors among the servants since more people would see it. The truth was that as tired as he'd been, Merlin hadn't managed to get any sleep at all. He'd been tossing and turning, alternately thinking about Arthur and being furious with himself for doing so. Robert's presence, however inappropriate, was very welcome.
Sir Robert flushed and averted his gaze, taken aback by Merlin's state of undress. Merlin was even lovelier than he had imagined. There was an alluring, ethereal glow to the younger man's body that silently begged Robert to reach out and explore. It took a great deal of the former knight's self control not to give in to temptation, and, flustered, he thanked Merlin and accepted the boy's invitation to enter the room. "It seems neither one of us could sleep," he observed, moving to one of the ornate chairs dotted about and clasping his hands on its back. "Would you mind a little company?"
"No," Merlin answered at once, relieved at the idea of having someone there. "It's quiet here." Realizing it sounded like a complaint, he hurried to add, "I mean, it's beautiful. I've never had a room this nice. I just... I usually hear Gaius snoring or someone's waking me up because they want something or..." Merlin spread his hands helplessly as he curled up in the other chair, feet pulled up onto the cushion as if to warm himself though in truth he just felt tired and uneasy and needed to feel secure even if it was only in the way he sat. "Just going to take getting used to." He paused, suddenly worried that Robert was rethinking having taken him on to begin with. "Why are you awake, then?"
"To be truthful? I was worried about you," replied Sir Robert. He moved around to the front of the chair and sank down opposite Merlin. "You've weathered so much, haven't you? It only makes me admire you that much more. Despite your inner strength, I know it must be hard leaving everything behind. Merlin," pausing, he reached out and gently took one of Merlin's hands into his own, "you love Arthur and you'll never have those feelings for me, but... can I at least care for you?"
Merlin stared at the man with surprise. For a moment he'd been sure that Robert was on the verge of utter exasperation with the situation, and now the man was offering even more kindness. His heart swelled with the thought. At least he had someone. He wasn't utterly alone. The younger man's hand curled around Robert's almost shyly. "Of course. I... you've been wonderful to me. Even before this. I've never been able to talk to anyone the same way." Merlin suddenly felt the weight of the last secret that he held. Would it be better to tell Robert now? Arthur couldn't understand, not with Uther as his father, but Robert... "What do you think about magic?" he finally asked in a voice that was barely a whisper.
The hushed question took Sir Robert by surprise. He sat back in his chair, stroking his chin as his keen eyes scrutinized Merlin. "I'm not afraid of magic if that's what you're asking," he replied, hoping that was the answer his companion was seeking. "Uther has been a good friend, but between you and I... he's taken his hatred much too far." Indeed, his many attempts to have a sensible conversation with the King had gotten him nowhere fast. "Merlin, tell me, why do you ask?"
Merlin considered that. He searched Robert's face and found nothing but the same open, warm acceptance that he'd always found. That could change at any moment. He knew it, but Gaius knew, and he had been so kind... Lancelot had dismissed it as though his gift were utterly normal... Merlin bit his lip and then looked to the fire. It was dying out somewhat, and he whispered a word softly, eyes blazing gold as the flames leapt back to life and blazed anew in the hearth.
Sir Robert had sensed something very special about Merlin from the first moment they'd met. Not only did the boy posses great beauty and kindness, but he was also a powerful sorcerer. How Merlin had managed to keep such a secret in Camelot of all places amazed Robert, and he could only imagine how heavy the burden of such a thing had been on his shoulders. "Merlin," he started, only to reconsider, wanting to show Merlin what he wanted to express instead. Reaching into the fireplace, the flames licked his hand without burning him, and with a flick of his wrist, the fire danced on his open palm. "I think we have something in common."
Merlin actually started from his chair, standing as if he couldn't help wanting to be closer. "Oh..." His eyes were wide with sudden wonder, and after a moment of utter shock, a bright smile lit the boy's face for the first time since before he'd seen Arthur that morning. It was strange finding another sorcerer, especially among the privileged few who had counted themselves as one of Uther's prized knights. "How did you keep it from the king for so long?" That was nothing short of a miracle. Even in the short time he'd worked in Camelot, Merlin had almost exposed himself more times than he could count.
"I could ask you the same question," Sir Robert pointed out with a gentle smile. His tone segued into one more serious while the flame bouncing on his palm started to snake between his fingers. "It wasn't easy, and it must have been very difficult for you as well. Arthur, as you know, has taken on his father's unfortunate views toward magic." He glanced at Merlin and looked - really *looked* - at him for the first time. "All those stories of the prince's exploits, his miraculous escapes, harrowing adventures... that was all you, wasn't it?"
Merlin blushed delicately and whispered something. The flames split, and half of them swirled through the air until they came to rest in his hand. He smiled his pride at managing the task and then offered, "Some of it. Arthur can do a great deal without my help... but... there were times..." He shrugged slender shoulders and looked up at the other man's face. They shared more than he'd ever guessed. Standing together with the magic fairly humming in the air around them was a comfortable and oddly intimate thing. Never before had Merlin shared his gift quite so openly and comfortably. "I did what I could to keep him safe."
"And he could have never even guessed the person closest to him was not only serving him, but protecting him as well." Sir Robert watched Merlin manipulate the fire with his gift, and he found himself further entranced with the boy who had already stolen his heart. How could Arthur have been so blind? Knowing how Merlin's kindness and talent had been neglected hurt Robert terribly. "You're even more beautiful like this," he whispered, unable to take his eyes off the boy, "being yourself, with no fear of judgment. It's wondrous to see."
Merlin almost brushed the compliment off, but the truth was that it was a great relief to be so open. Robert was interested in his gift, not angry about it or frightened. The knight looked at him as if he was truly able to do wonderful things, and it was almost enough to make him believe that too. "Thank you," he answered resolutely. The young man's eyes still glowed softly as he watched the fire and made it twist and turn around his fingers. "No one's ever really seen me that way before... I mean, I've done magic in front of Gaius, but..." With Gaius it had been like having a parent at his side judging and protecting all at once. Gaius was proud of him, he knew that, but the man was also terrified of Uther's wrath. Robert was a different thing altogether.
"It's truly a sight to behold." Their shoulders almost touching as they sat before the fireplace, Sir Robert breathed in Merlin's scent and lost himself in the moment. He stretched out his fingers, causing his flames to twine with the fire swirling around Merlin's hand. "I'm afraid I'm only capable of parlor tricks such as this," he conceded, watching the shimmering fire snakes twisting together sensually. "I've never seen anything quite like your power." Robert smiled softly, daring to glance at Merlin again. He ached to touch him, to kiss him, to simply be with him. "Would you think me terrible if I confessed how much I'd like to hold you right now?"
Merlin flushed and looked at their hands, at the way the flames danced. Gaze still demurely averted from Robert's, he confessed, "Would it be terrible if I said that I'd like it?" He knew that the answer was yes. It was selfish of him to want Robert's attention when he was still depressed over Arthur's behavior. If he'd been able to make any request that he desired of the universe in that moment, it would have been to have Arthur looking at him with the mix of desire and understanding that lingered in Robert's gaze, but Arthur had decided already that he didn't want anything to do with him, didn't care for him in return... and Robert... Yes, it was definitely terrible of him, but Merlin felt an undeniable pull toward the other man and his magical talents.
Feeling nervous as a teenager himself, Sir Robert cupped Merlin's cheek with his free hand and caressed his beautiful face. As the fire snakes continued to twist and flicker in their erotic dance, he leaned forward and gently brushed his mouth against Merlin's. He groaned an instant later, drowning in the soft texture of the boy's lips and his sweet taste. It was incredible and maddening all at the same time. /Arthur, you are a fool,/ he dimly thought as he drew Merlin into his arms.
Merlin knew that he should probably pull away. This was never how he had intended for things to go. Everyone would think already that he'd been taken away to be Robert's concubine. Beyond that, he had certainly never thought of giving his first kiss to anyone but the one who held his heart, but perhaps it was better to share it with someone who cared for him. Robert had already been kinder to him than almost anyone in his life.
The feeling of Robert's arms around him was warm and comforting. Only the young man's instinctive control of magic kept the flames twining around them, now circling their bodies like a faerie fire all their own. The kiss was at once more and less than Merlin had expected. There was no crushing revelation of love, not the culmination of long desire he had hoped for with Arthur, but there was a gentility in the kiss and a pleasure at the brush of skin against skin that promised more to come. Merlin's body thrilled at that promise no matter what his mind or heart thought of the rest.
Sir Robert cradled the back of Merlin's dark head as he deepened the kiss, moaning softly as he teased the boy's delicious lips with his tongue. He felt Merlin respond in kind, melting in his arms and soaking in the comfort Robert offered in abundance. As long as Merlin remained with him, he would care for him with all his heart. It didn't matter to Robert if his strong feelings were never returned; adoring Merlin was a gift to be treasured. Breaking the tender kiss, his eyes shimmered as he smiled and whispered, "Thank you... it might sound a bit strange, but I can't help but be grateful. I've wanted to do that from the first moment I met you."
Merlin was flushed with the new sensations and the sweet words. It was a headier combination than any wine might have been for him. The young man mindfully sent the flames back to the hearth, knowing that his control would become more tenuous as he became more distracted. "I think I'm the one who should be thanking you," Merlin answered. He found himself unable to continue to meet Robert's deep brown eyes as he confessed, "Nobody's ever wanted to do that before." It was the closest he could come to explaining in full the breadth of his own inexperience. Robert needed to understand that his lack of skill came not from lack of desire to reciprocate but from an utter and complete lack of any experience.
Sir Robert found that statement incredibly hard to believe. Merlin was a beautiful temptation with a mouth made for kissing. He almost pointed out his certainty that Arthur had been aching to do the same, but Robert thought better of it. There was no need to remind Merlin of his hurt, not when he was feeling calmer and happier. "If that is the case, and I highly doubt it is, then I'm honored to have been the first to ever taste your sweet kiss," the former knight murmured. Robert pressed his thumb to Merlin's mouth, tracing the outline of his bright, plump lips.
Merlin's breath caught and his eyes fluttered closed. The touch was sweet and sensual all at the same time. He had no idea what to say in response to the words, but Robert didn't seem to need a reply. For that Merlin was endlessly grateful. What could he say? They both knew all the things they were avoiding talking about. As his eyes opened, Merlin saw Robert still watching him intently, and he smiled gently. "I'm glad that you decided to come and see me." How differently the night might have gone if he'd spent it pining over Arthur!
"How could I not?" Sir Robert smiled warmly, combing his fingers through Merlin's hair. He gazed upon him tenderly, feeling a deep connection with the kindred spirit he had found. "You must have been feeling lonely with this being your first night here, and it was remiss of me not to offer you my company before." He leaned in, brushing Merlin's chiseled cheekbones with the lightest of kisses. "Perhaps you might feel more at home if you stayed with me tonight?"
Merlin nodded before he could give himself a chance to say no. It had been too cold and lonely and strange in the beautiful room provided to him. Crazy as it might be considering how new their acquaintance really was, Merlin trusted Robert. He didn't think that the former knight would force him into anything that he wasn't ready for. "I'd like that," Merlin confessed, "if you really don't mind?"
"It would be an honor," Sir Robert reassured him, rising to his feet and helping Merlin up along with him. Intoxicated from the gentle kiss, he felt breathless amid both Merlin's presence and the magic that swirled around them. Again, the former knight cupped the boy's cheek and took a long moment to gaze into the beguiling depths of Merlin's eyes. "Let's get you tucked in," he said, refusing to take advantage of the vulnerable younger man. "A good night's rest and tomorrow will look brighter."
For the first time in a long while, Merlin found himself believing as much. He smiled faintly and gave Robert's hand a squeeze. "Yeah, I'm sure that it will." Since Robert seemed content to stay where they were, he led the way over to his new bed and climbed in. It felt better between the covers when he knew that Robert would be joining him. /Shouldn't that make me *less* comfortable?/ He wanted the other man close. If he couldn't have Arthur, at least he could have someone who cared for him and didn't even fear the very thing that could get him killed in Camelot.