See Chapter 1 for info & warnings

Sir Robert had never slept better in all his life. He curled up close to Merlin, wrapping the younger warlock in his arms, offering him all the warmth and security he could. Controlling himself around Merlin proved to be a difficult task, but somehow Robert managed. He did not want his newfound companion to think that attraction the only reason he wanted him to share his bed. He woke gazing at the slumbering boy, admiring his beauty as the sun streamed in through his bedroom's stained glass window. Hating to wake Merlin when he was sleeping so peacefully, Robert pressed a kiss to those soft lips. "Merlin," he whispered, "it's almost time for breakfast."

Merlin shifted, at first burying his face into the pillow. Consciousness came slowly, and he realized that he was in bed in a strange place with an only slightly less strange man. The thought brought color back to the sorcerer's cheeks, and he finally shifted to look at Robert. Some of Merlin's embarrassment faded in a smile as he took in his mussed hair and smiling face. "Guess it wouldn't do to miss breakfast my first day here." Merlin reluctantly left the intimate warmth of Robert's embrace so that he could gather some of the clothes that he'd unpacked. "I can meet you downstairs if you need to get ready." In the harsh morning light, Merlin found himself just more uncertain about being so close to naked in front of Robert. Part of him wished he'd stayed beneath the covers. Merlin felt sure that the pale skin and scrawny form that had looked just fine in firelight was not quite as forgivable in the sun's glare.

"Merlin, you're sweet and much too lovely for your own good," Sir Robert complimented, easing out of bed. He wore a pair of silk sleep pants which clung to his hips. The rich color accentuated his bare torso. Robert had no qualms about showing off his muscular body. He worked hard at maintaining it and looked forward to seeing what Merlin's reaction might be. "After we eat, I'd like to take you to the library. If it's still intact, there's a few books I'd like to give you," the older man said, reaching for his dressing gown.

Merlin almost didn't hear the words at first. He was distracted, shirt half on, staring at Robert. He blushed right up to the tips of his ears when he was caught in the act and hurriedly went back to dressing. "Sounds good," Merlin agreed. Had he been less flustered, he would probably have thanked Robert for thinking of him. As it was, Merlin wanted to get his pants on without tripping over his own feet. Once that task was indeed managed, he managed to smile again and added, "Think you'll have to lead the way to the dining hall. I'm afraid I was half dead when we were stumbling up here."

"It would be my pleasure," Sir Robert said, extending his arm to Merlin in invitation. He led the way from his quarters, down the hallway and toward the grand staircase. Nodding at various portraits of his ancestors, which Robert was surprised had survived the siege, he gave Merlin a short tour of his home. "As much as I want you to feel welcome here," he told his companion, "I doubt you'll be here long." Robert stopped before the dining room doors, adding, "I'm certain Arthur will come to his senses soon."

Merlin honestly wished that he had Robert's certainty. The thought of Arthur rushing to the castle and charging inside to take him away was a blissfully romantic notion. It also didn't match what he knew of the prince in the slightest. Arthur had decided somewhere along the line to pull away, and that had begun even before Robert truly stepped in. The thought made Merlin's heart constrict, and he suddenly wasn't the least bit hungry. But it was neither the time nor the place to wallow in self pity, and Merlin forced a smile for Robert's benefit. "Not used to someone else making my food in the mornings."

"You deserve to be pampered for awhile." Robert grinned, leading Merlin into the dining room. As with the rest of his home, Uther's servants had done a remarkable job in restoring it to its former glory. He made a mental note to see that everyone was well compensated for their efforts. Right now his focus was on Merlin and helping him feel more at ease. The former knight pulled out a chair for his guest with a gentlemanly nod of his head. "And I intend to see that beautiful smile of yours more often," he added, taking a seat across from Merlin.

Not longer afterward, a plump serving girl appeared and Robert requested a breakfast literally fit for a king after he was assured the larder was adequately full. "Excuse me, but do you know if the library is still intact?" he asked her, and was relieved to hear that it was fine. Robert beamed at Merlin, "We'll make that our next stop."

"I'd like that." Merlin liked the idea of being able to move freely through stacks of volumes that offered instruction on more than just medicine and science. It would offer a worthy distraction as Merlin fought against the desire to spend his time thinking of Arthur and missing the prince. There was no point in wasting his energy that way when Arthur was just as happy to have him out of the picture. "What sorts of books do you enjoy?" Merlin asked when the silence stretched out too long.

"Romantic fictions, mostly." Robert reached across the table, finding and caressing Merlin's hand. It proved damned near impossible to resist some kind of contact with the younger sorcerer. Merlin's presence was magnetic, and the air fairly crackled with barely restrained magic when he was close. "That's probably not surprising given my amorous nature." He laughed at himself. Robert drew his hand back when several servants appeared with trays of food, and he happily dug into their meal.

Merlin's earlier loss of appetite was forgotten utterly at the sight of the food. The spread was unlike his usual soup, porridge, and whatever meat was left after the nobles had gotten their fill. Instead he was getting first choice, dining with the master of the house. While Merlin was happy with famine as well as feast when the need presented itself, he couldn't help but enjoy the change in his circumstances. "It's brilliant. Your cook's really good," Merlin praised earnestly. The fruit was sweet, ripe, and perfect, and the pastries that went along with them were wonderful.

It was fascinating and arousing watching Merlin enjoying his food. Sir Robert tore himself from the mesmerizing scene with a slight shake of his head and returned his attention to his plate of food. "You're free to enjoy as much as you'd like," he told Merlin between bites. "Anytime you'd like." It seemed unfair that someone of Merlin's talents had been relegated to a servant, having to wait hand and feet on an unappreciative Arthur. "You shouldn't hesitate to ask for what you want." Robert's grin intensified, and he found himself wishing that Merlin would single him out as the thing he wanted most.

Merlin found himself pausing briefly at the words. It would be easy to take them at face value. Robert had made it very clear that all he had do was say the word, give the signal, and he could have anything - and that the offer extended into areas as intimate as he cared for them to be. The thought brought a new blush to Merlin's cheeks, and he looked down at his plate. Part of him wanted Robert. The man offered a closeness and security that was totally new. Robert didn't want him to hide or make up a persona just to be who the man wanted him to be. Robert wanted him as he was. And yet... pleasurable as the thought of giving himself over to the man completely was, Merlin had always listened to his heart, and that still belonged to Arthur however unworthy the prince might be of it.

As Robert swallowed down another bite, he noted Merlin's silence and resolved to bring the boy out of his shell. "Now that we've sated our appetite, shall we continue our tour?" Not waiting for a reply, Robert was on his feet and crossing to Merlin's side. He reached for his hand and showed him the way to the library, which was on the third floor. The circular room was spilling over with books, and Robert breathed a sigh of relief to see his collection untouched. There were some benefits to widespread illiteracy after all.

"Merlin, you're the first I've ver shared my secret with," he confided, closing the door behind him, "and I hope I can be of some help to you." Crooking his finger, he indicated for the former servant to follow him to a corner shelf. Robert tugged at an inconsequential tome, causing the entire shelf to roll back and reveal several well-read magic books. "I have to keep these hidden, you understand?"

"Of course," Merlin answered at once. His fingers ghosted over the spine of one of the volumes. Even the paper seemed imbued with special energy. "Gaius gave me a book of spells... wanted me to study, to learn. I had to leave it behind." It had hurt returning the book that had been given with such gravity and care. Gaius had put such faith in him, been so unfailingly kind even when he didn't deserve it. Merlin shook that off and gently took one of the books from the shelf. "I've never seen any of these spells," he observed. The cadence and style was familiar, but the spells themselves were new. One promised to put the person it was cast upon into a deep sleep for hours. "Could've used this."

"They're yours now," Robert insisted, removing the other magic books and closing the panel. Extending an invitation for Merlin to sit and read, the former knight sank down in a comfortable chair himself. "I'm afraid most of these spells are beyond my meager gifts," he confessed, not hiding his awe of Merlin's own powers, "but I have no doubt you'll be able to master them."

"Any gifts at all are pretty impressive to me," Merlin answered. He looked through the first of the books carefully, eyes drinking the text in. Though Merlin knew he was a rather lax student, his interest made up for his occasional lack of dedication. /I can do this one./ He glanced back at the door and saw it still firmly shut. The impulse to show off a little for Robert was overwhelming, and Merlin smiled as he whispered the words of the spell. It was nothing terribly flashy, just a simple levitation spell, but he still felt a thrill of pride as one of the less valuable books nearby lifted neatly from its home and spun in the air. "I've done this before... just never with this spell."

Robert marveled at the power which flowed off Merlin like ocean waves. Only another magic adept would be able to sense it, and it was intoxicating to witness. Merlin was even more beautiful - his eyes glowing, his young body thrumming with magic - and Robert could not help but wonder what Arthur would think if he could see his servant as he truly was. "I have no doubt you'll be able to master them all in no time," Robert said, his breath nearly stolen away. "There are spells here that I wouldn't even dream of trying."

"Might be underestimating yourself a bit," Merlin answered at once as he carefully willed the book back onto the shelf. It went without much protest, and he relaxed, eyes fading just as quickly back to their usual blue. "The fact that you've been studying this long, been keeping yourself from the king's notice... that's no small feat. Maybe someday things in Camelot will be different. Maybe when Arthur's king." If he wasn't too infected by his father's hatred already. Uther had pushed the issue long and hard, and it would be difficult for Arthur to escape it given the way he looked up to the man still.

"You carry a lot of faith in your heart, Merlin," observed Sir Robert. "It is an admirable quality, and I only hope Arthur doesn't disappoint you further." He hated to see Merlin's gentle soul hurt again. It was difficult to ascertain where Arthur would stand if he were to learn his servant was, in fact, a warlock. Robert doubted the prince would see sense in the matter,unless it was after he accepted his own sexuality and feelings for Merlin. "On a happier note," he clapped his hands and rubbed them together, "I'd be honored to take any instruction you're willing to give."

Merlin's eyebrows shot up at the suggestion. He was floored at the idea that Robert would want to be tutored. The man was so much older, so much more worldly... "I-I'd be happy to do what I can," the young sorcerer answered at least. "Afraid I've never done much teaching, and less learning than Gaius was quite happy with." The joke fell a bit flat thanks to Merlin's nerves, but he sobered up quickly and added more earnestly, "I'm sure you can do any of these spells you put your mind to. I know people act as if what I do is something... that it's different, but I don't think it is. I saw you with the fire last night."

"I saw you as well," Sir Robert pointed out. He fell to his knees before Merlin, taking his hands into own. "Do you have any idea what it's like to be near you? It's like standing in the sun on a cold day, dispelling the chill and warming you to the bones. It's exhilarating... beautiful, Merlin." Carried away, the older man flushed and shook his head. "Forgive me? I'm afraid my heart rules my head too much at times."

Merlin was embarrassed and excited all at once. No one had ever looked at him with the sort of reverence and desire that Robert did. The man saw something special in him. It wasn't the selfish look of the dragon who saw him as a way out or even Gaius' paternal care. It was something deeper, something that excited him as much as it scared him. Could he ever return those feelings in the way that Robert deserved? "I don't see myself that way. I've always just been... just been me. Merlin. It's strange to have someone look at me like... like I'm someone important."

"Well, you are to me." Sir Robert cupped Merlin's cheek in one hand, stroking his beautiful face with his thumb. He gazed deeply into the boy's eyes, unable to resist the urge to kiss that sweet, tempting mouth. Their lips brushed together and Robert sighed softly, relishing the intimate contact he craved from Merlin. After what seemed like forever, the lord of the manor drew back and smiled at his ward. "Am I taking too many liberties with you? If so, I'm afraid I cannot help myself. You, Merlin, are quite irresistible."

Merlin grinned despite himself. "Not so bad yourself. Anyway, I don't mind. I just... not used to it's'all." He wished that he had the experience to be easy and cool about it all, but the truth was that his heart hammered in his chest every time Robert touched him. Maybe it wasn't as good as having Arthur, but the longer time went on without hearing from the prince, the further away that dream would get as well. "Kind of new, so don't take it personally if I just... well, if I haven't got the slightest clue what I'm doing most of the time."

"Oh, something tells me you'll be a fast learner." Sir Robert knew it was fruitless to woo Merlin when his heart belonged to another, but he could not help himself from enjoying the former servant's company while he had him all to himself. "Speaking of learning, if there's anything you'd like to try and teach me, you have my utmost attention." Robert turned and, flicking his wrist, used what little magic he could muster to lock the library doors. He smiled at Merlin, adding, "Best we're not disturbed."

Though he knew it was an innocuous enough gesture - and a smart one considering what they were doing - Merlin couldn't help but start at the sound of the doors closing. "Well, mostly what I've done is easy stuff. Stuff that's... practical, I guess." There had been larger spells here and there, but that hardly seemed like the place to start with teaching someone. "Things like sweeping up and, um, polishing armor." Merlin smiled, and it was slightly proud despite the modest nature of the errands. "Not flashy, but it was helpful. A place to start." He looked around and nodded to a book stacked on top of one of the shelves. "Can you pick it up?"

Sir Robert was so taken with Merlin's smile that it took him a full minute to register his words. "Oh... yes, forgive me." Blushing again, he focused his attention on the book and narrowed his eyes. He concentrated, whispering a spell as he held out his hand. The volume stirred, shaking off a fine coating of dust before taking flight like a bird and crossing over to Robert. He caught the book, then turned to Merlin with a grin of his own. "How was that?"

"Brilliant!" Merlin answered without reservation. The truth was that the sight of someone else doing magic and wielding that sort of control was enough to make his heart soar as well as the book. He was with someone who really, genuinely understood him and was intrigued rather than outraged by his skills. "Honestly, I think you're better at this than you give yourself credit for. I haven't done many difficult things, so I'm not sure... I mean, I've made some things blow up, and I sent a light once over a distance. I think that was the hardest. I was sort of, um, poisoned at the time."

Sir Robert cast curious eyes over Merlin, smiling softly at him. "You've been through so much, haven't you?" He indicated the boy's wounded shoulder with a nod. "I can't even begin to imagine the dangers you've faced in Camelot. It makes me admire you that much more." Not wanting to make Merlin feel uncomfortable under the scrutiny of his gaze, Robert ticked his attention back to the book which had flown into his hands. "I did it, I really made it fly."

"Told you it wouldn't be so bad," Merlin answered. He felt satisfied that his "student" didn't really need much more than a confidence boost. Robert was obviously talented in his own right - or maybe it was the fact that there was so much magic flowing around between the two of them. "Maybe we help each other. Like... auras or something. Feed off one another." It wasn't a ridiculous theory when coupled with some of what Merlin had learned about magic from Gaius' books. "Neither of us have really been around anyone else magical, right? So maybe it's different when sorcerers are together."

Sir Robert smiled, moving closer to Merlin. "Perhaps you're right. I do feel something in the air when I'm near you." It thrilled him to think that Merlin might sense it too. "What else do you plan to steal away from me, Merlin? My heart, my breath, my very soul?" He cupped the boy's lovely face, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. "I didn't think it was possible for someone to make me forget about Arthur, but that's exactly what you have done. It almost seems inconceivable that I ever fancied him before you."

Merlin smiled at the words, though there was a ghost of sadness in his eyes. He wished that he felt the same way, that Robert's touch made him forget about Arthur. The truth was that just the thought of the prince filled him with equal amounts of longing and pain. /He hasn't come. He isn't hurting like this, why should you?/ But the petulant thoughts fell flat, and Merlin sighed as he reached out to let his fingers skim over Robert's jawline. "You've been kinder to me than anyone I've known except my mother. I don't know how I'll ever repay that."

"There is one way," Sir Robert started, relishing Merlin's treasured touch. He covered the boy's warm hand with his own, squeezing it gently. "Be happy. For me? That's all I want." Merlin might never love him, but he could do his best to see that Merlin was loved and cared for.

As the day went on and he and Merlin spent more time in each other's company, Robert learned even more about the young warlock and the spells he could master. Supper time approached and the former knight was startled to receive a message that Prince Arthur Pendragon would be paying a visit. He was hesitant to inform Merlin, not from fear of losing him but from worry that Arthur might hurt him again. "Merlin," he said, taking his ward aside after the messenger had left, "Arthur's due to arrive this evening."

Merlin felt his heart rise for a moment, and a hint of a smile appeared on his face. Arthur was coming. It took only a beat for him to register that Arthur's purposes might have more to do with the state of Robert's kingdom or other errands for Uther than anything else. Feeling queasy from the utterly conflicting impulses, Merlin ventured, "Did he... d'you know why he's coming?" If Robert knew, then he could have a chance to steel himself, to know whether he should even bother trying to speak to the prince. Was Arthur being forced, or was he coming of his own free will? Had he thought better of his behavior? /Does he want me back?/

"I wish I knew." Sir Robert shook his head, his mane of dark curls ruffling around his shoulders. He took a protective step toward Merlin, concern etched across his handsome features. "Merlin, if Arthur has come to his senses and wants to take you back to Camelot, then I have no objection. I told you earlier, I only wish for your happiness." He paused, uncertain and unwilling to break Merlin's heart any further than it already was. "Guard yourself well. If Arthur has other business in mind, then I want you to be prepared."

Merlin nodded, feeling his chest constrict with the thought. He forced himself to admit, "Uther may have made him come. Checking on things. It... he may not even want to see me." As terribly as things had gone, that wouldn't surprise him, though he was terrified that it might be true. How could he stand being rejected by Arthur a second time? The thought made Merlin shiver, and he took a step closer to Robert. Already it was becoming instinctive to seek out the gentle warmth that the man presented. "Guess we'll find out soon enough."

Sir Robert set about making preparations for Arthur's arrival. He even went so far as having a room made ready for him. It would be late, and Robert could not imagine Arthur returning to Camelot in the middle of the cold, dark night. He fretted over what the prince's visit might mean for Merlin. Lifting a silent prayer that his fellow warlock would not be disappointed, Robert dressed in something more appropriate for receiving royalty, finishing just in time to hear the cry echo across the yard, "His royal Highness, crown prince of Camelot, Arthur Pendragon!" Robert hurried out to the courtyard at once to greet Arthur.

More clear-headed than he'd been since he'd set out from Camelot, Arthur fairly thrummed with the anticipation of seeing Merlin again. Being apart from his servant even for a couple of days made him feel as if he'd lost a part of himself, and Arthur did not like it. He missed Merlin with a physical ache. That was exactly why he'd pushed Merlin away. The more distance between them, the better. Or so Arthur had thought. The moment he caught a glance of Merlin standing beside his father's friend, his heart seized inside his chest. It took all of his willpower not to rush across the cobbles toward him.

"Sir Robert." Arthur tried to avoid Merlin's gaze as he stood before the former knight. "Please, accept my apology for my rash behavior."

Merlin found that it was difficult to keep still. It was difficult to keep himself from hurrying forward. Even just to be closer... but he restrained himself with an effort. For one thing, Robert deserved better than for him to be so disrespectful. For another, he simply had no idea what Arthur was feeling. He had no idea whether the prince's apology was genuine or if Arthur had been forced to come by Uther. The crown prince hadn't so much as glanced at him, and that left Merlin feeling all the more anxious. /What is he thinking?/

"Apology accepted, Highness." Sir Robert gave a slight bow of his head and extended a hand, inviting Arthur inside his home. He noted how the prince was deliberately avoiding eye contact with Merlin, and he could only imagine the uncertainty the younger warlock was experiencing. "You must be tired and hungry from your journey." He tried to keep the conversation light, hoping to make the most of an awkward situation.

"Yes, thanks," Arthur murmured, only vaguely aware of a servant rushing forward to take his cloak. He allowed himself a moment to imagine it was Merlin's hands on his shoulders, and Arthur finally chanced a quick glance in his former servant's direction. "How are you, Merlin?"

Tense, sick with worry, and terrified. Instead of saying any of those things, Merlin managed an uncertain smile. "I'm well enough." It was really the best that he could manage. Being able to share his secrets with Robert was a relief, and the man's attention and his compliments were sweet and charming. None of those things made up entirely for how much he'd missed Arthur, and Merlin had no idea how to let the prince know. The same shaky smile still on his lips, Merlin asked, "And you?"

Arthur almost toppled over at the sound of Merlin's voice. He fully expected the other young man to rail angrily at him, demand to know why he'd been discarded and what was behind Arthur's royally prattish behavior, but Merlin was being kind and civil. /Better, now that I'm here,/ he thought wistfully. Arthur very nearly voiced his thoughts, but opted instead for a non-committal, "I'm well as can be expected."

Sir Robert marveled at the chemistry fairly sizzling between Merlin and Arthur. How Arthur could deny it was a mystery in and of itself. The longing in both their gazes wrenched at Robert's heart, and he found it increasingly difficult not to intervene again. "You're just in time for supper," the former knight said. "Merlin and I decided to wait on you before eating... Didn't we, Merlin?" If he could engage the pair in conversation, Robert decided, then maybe there was a chance of them healing the rift.

"Seemed like the thing to do," Merlin agreed. He still sounded nervous, almost skittish. Indeed he found himself torn between a desire to fling himself at Arthur and hug the prince just to prove he was really there and an equally valid desire to run from the room and hide in his own until Arthur was gone. Wanting to find something that he could be a bit more enthusiastic about, Merlin ventured, "The food here's brilliant. Don't remember the last time I ate so much." Eating without Arthur hadn't been the same despite the wonderful food. Even on days when all the prince said to him was that he would be needed for polishing some armor the next morning, there was still a pleasant sort of warmth in the air when they sat together. Merlin didn't want the silence to stretch out, but it was hard to speak without touching on subjects that were still too raw, the wounds too fresh to bear being picked at. "How's Gaius?" /Has he moved on already too?/

"I haven't seen him," Arthur replied, deciding not to tell Merlin how he couldn't face the court physician. "I'm sure he misses you." /And whose fault is that?/ He took a seat at the table in the dining hall, he heart thundering, all of his princely confidence having abandoned him in Merlin's presence. How he could have wronged someone who had not only served him faithfully but also risked his life for him? It made him ill, and Arthur's appetite vanished.

Sir Robert had a magnificent spread brought in for them and he sat at the head of the table with Merlin and Arthur facing each other. He quickly realized that the only way to get the pair talking - truly talking - was to leave them alone, and he would devise a way to do just that after supper.

Merlin picked at his food with apparent disinterest at first but finally began eating. The taste of the fare brought his appetite back quickly. Merlin always tended to be active, and it meant that he generally ate voraciously. Even Arthur's presence couldn't completely take the edge off, and he dealt with the quiet by filling his stomach instead. It was only once they'd all slowed down that he began to feel truly ill at ease. "Um, I could show you to your room," Merlin offered, wondering why he'd even said such a thing. First of all it was Robert's household and surely his right to deal with his guests. Secondly it would mean potentially being alone with Arthur, and he wasn't sure how to deal with that. /Idiot. You really should think before you speak./

Arthur, his expression one of surprise, started to speak, but Sir Robert chose that particular moment to interrupt, "Why don't we both show him?" He dabbed at his mouth with a handkerchief and then pushed himself up from the table. If all went as planned, Merlin and Arthur would have no choice but to speak to each other. Robert took the lead, expressing his gratitude toward Uther for lending him enough men to repair his home.

The prince nodded, only half-interested. He was reluctant to retire, because that meant he would have to say good-night and be parted from Merlin again. What a fool he had been! Arthur nearly admitted his folly aloud, and he would have if Robert hadn't stopped short at one of the doors on the upper landing.

"We had this specially prepared for you earlier." Robert opened the door and then extended a hand, welcoming the two younger men inside before him. He watched them carefully, biding his time until they were both over the threshold, then Robert abruptly shut the door and locked it. "Now, you're going to stay in there until the two of you can have a civil conversation!" Pocketing the key, and heedless of his treasonous actions toward the prince, he headed back to his chambers.