Alex did what I expected he would do. He ran, but I can't say I blamed him, what are you supposed to do when your ex-wife shows up three years later saying she's pregnant with your baby. I guess I just hoped for more of a reaction then that. Who am I to say he doesn't get to react like that. I don't know why I still loved him. I don't know anything anymore. All I know is that I needed to protect this baby with every fibre of my being. I got back into my car and drove to the nearest mechanic.

He said it would take a week to fix so until then he gave me a loan of a jeep. I arrived at Meredith's. With my bag, on my shoulder I climbed out and trudged up the stairs of my old home.

"Izzie!" Meredith exclaimed, with arms wide open. "You should have told me you were coming," She scolded. Getting Zola back had changed her for the better, she was no longer the dark, twisty girl in the bar. No she was bright and shiny and as Cristina put it asking to be kicked in the face.

"I'm pregnant, Mer, and Alex he uh wont talk to me," I told her, tears building in my eyes.

"Oh Izzie, that's amazing," Meredith said jumping up to hug me.

We talked for an hour or two before we were interrupted by the door slamming against the wall and someone screaming for Meredith to get something for them.

Alex walked into the kitchen, looked at me and pretended that I wasn't there.

"How's my little princess?" He asked Zola, tickling her cheeks, making her giggle.

"So Alex," Meredith said breaking the awkward silence in the kitchen. "I'll take it you heard the great news?" Alex was by the fridge eating bites of cold pizza and swinging back mouthfuls of OJ.

"Good news? What good news?" Or at least that's what I think he said, the pizza was making it difficult to understand a word he was saying.

"Izzie's having a baby," Meredith announced in her asking to be kicked in the face voice. And right now that's exactly what I wanted to do to her.

Alex let out a snort and stormed out, slamming the door as he went.

"See Mer," I snapped, storming out of the house also. I had next to nowhere to go. I couldn't go to Joes because I couldn't drink. I couldn't go back to Mer's. I couldn't go to the trailer. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, and Addison telling me where I needed to go and I knew it was true. I was alone. But I'd come this far, I had to keep going.

You gotta swim, and swim when it hurts.

The whole world is watching

You haven't come this far to fall off the earth.

I went to the place where my life in Seattle ended. Seattle Grace Mercy West.

I walked in and took in my surroundings, not a lot had changed. "Izzie Stevens, You better not be back to steal another heart." Bailey said walking up to me.

"Actually, Bailey, I need an ultrasound," I said, looking up or well down to judge her reaction.

"Izzie Stevens, you're having a baby? How long have you been trying for?" Bailey said with a smile on her face, that people didn't see often.

"About two and a half years, I was uh pregnant twice before, So I've been told to get regular ultrasounds," I said looking down at my feet, when you tell people that they never know how to react, most try to comfort you or try to get you to open up about it. People just think that one day, you're going to wake up and be okay with loosing a baby. They just think that because you never held the baby in your arms it doesn't hurt as much. It does. For your own body to betray you like that, having no one to blame the death of your baby on but yourself.

"Well, lets get you up for that ultrasound so," Bailey said in her no fuss voice. I wasn't going to lie, I was nervous. What if there was no heartbeat? What if my blood work had gotten mixed up and I wasn't pregnant at all? All these thought kept running through my head. What if? What if?

As I lay on the examination table, my eyes squeezed shut, as tight as possible. My lips barely mouthing the words to the 'Our Father'. But mouthing them none the less. Now don't get me wrong I wasn't religious, but what else was I supposed to do?

"Now, let me just, hang on, it can be a little hard to hear the heartbeat at 8 weeks," The OB on call told me, but the thoughts were running through my head. My body had failed me again, I had killed my own child again.

Then like a freight train, a whooshing sound filled the room as my eyes filled up with tears. I was hearing my babies heartbeat.

A/N: Short chapter I know, but I just needed to write something, leave suggestions for the name, gender or if it should be twins or not. Chapter name comes from the song 'Swim' by Jack's Mannequin