Chapter 3: A thief's a thief, Nami's competition
Summery: It's one of THOSE stories, you know, girl falls into one piece, and destroys all of existence… OK… maybe not that last part… but she does irritate the hell out of Zoro.
Disclaimer: I am in no way associated with any legal rights to one piece in any form, I do not own one piece or any part of the merchandising, gaming, manga, anime, characters, or anything of the sort. Please do not sue me as I do not have any money. The only things that I own from this fic are my own original characters.
A/N1: I KNOW ZORO IS ALSO CALLED ZOLO,
A/N2: I HAVE DECIDE TO LEAVE THE PAIRING UP TO THE READERS.
Please note that this chapter was edited on a massive scale one 10/30/09.
'thoughts'
"Words"
(inner Kaede)
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"Coby! Who is the most beautiful of all on these seas?" asked a loud, booming voice.
"No, It can't be." Me and Lilfoot whispered in unison, our voices filled with horror as we turned our heads to look at the person that had spoke, only to see the first villain of the one piece anime series. It was just as a certain pinkish-purple haired boy was about to answer that Lil did the unthinkable.
"Oh My god! It's the elephant lady!" she shouted with a horrified look on her face.
The instant those words left her mouth, everyone's eyes were on me, clearly thinking that I was the one that had said it, and unfortunately for me, there was no way any of them was going to believe that the little black cat on my shoulder was actually the one that had said it, though that didn't stop me from trying to convince them.
"It was her! I swear it was the cat." I said frantically, pointing at Lil while praying that they would believe me.
They didn't.
"Hey, what kind of a bastard blames tries to blame stuff on a innocent cat?!" One of the guys from Alvida's crew said, though I only knew that he was one of Alvida's men because he didn't exactly look like he would be a passenger on a cruise ship.
"Hahahaha!" A loud voice laughed, causing my jaw to drop to the floor in surprise and recognition. "Your a funny dude!"
The sound of the laugh alone was enough to get my attention. I had watched the anime so many times that I knew that laugh instantly, and when I turned my head to look at the person that had spoken, my suspicions were confirmed.
I was none other than Monkey D. Luffy, the future pirate king himself.
"You brat!" I heard as a large shadow suddenly blocked out the sun almost completely, causing me to look up to see what was going on.
Glancing up from my position on the deck of the ship, I was horrified to see that she, Alvida, was now lifting her massive club over her head (her massive head) while screaming her battle cry, fully intent on bashing my head in with it, but before the attack hit, however, god seemed to decide to throw me a bone, something she didn't normally do.
"Oh my god! The hippo's coming! Run for your lives!" Lilfoot screeched as she took off running in the opposite direction as Alvida, fully intent on getting as far away from the crazy fat lady as possible.
And because everyone had been watching us this time, not a single person could deny that the cat had been the one that said it.
"Hehehe," I laughed nervously, a weak and fearful smile on my face. " See, I told you it wasn't me."
From the position I was sitting in on the ship, I could see up Alvida's nostrils and into her brain, and could tell that her brain was saying 'smash the kid, then skin the cat.', which meant that she didn't care who had been the one to say it.
"Huh?! Did that cat just talk?!" random people shouted in shock and surprise just as Alvida started to bring her huge ass club down to smash me to a bloody pulp.
To my surprise, as well as everyone else's, the instant her club came down to bash me in the head, I somehow managed to jump, or rather flip, out of the way, landing in a crouching position on the railing of the ship.
"OK, that's new." I said in surprise, shocked that I was able to balanced on the railing without falling on my ass.
I might be a little bit more graceful when I am doing a martial arts move, but I was never able to pull off flips without breaking something, which was usually a part of my body.
Looking up from my position on the railing, I saw that 'the elephant lady', as my cat had dubbed her, was coming back for a second go at my head. Knowing that if I moved to quickly she would simply change the direction of her mallet, I calmly waited for her attack, hoping that I would be able to move out of the way at the last second.
If she was going to keep attacking me, then I was going to have to keep dodging her, however, my knowledge of anime had taught me three things about the actual fight in most anime.
One, if all you ever do is block and dodge then you will most likely loose.
Two, if your opponent is big and stupid then the best thing to do is to either go for the knees or go for the head.
And three, when someone swings something big over their head, they usually can't block a head shot.
Alvida covered two of those facts herself. She was big and stupid, and was swinging something really big over her head. Can you say, 'free head shot'? I can.
The moment her club was over her head, I jumped straight at her, taking her by surprise and managing to land with my hands and feet on her face.
This caused me to realized two things . The first thing I noticed was that my shoes were now destroyed thanks to claws that were now poking out of them, which I hadn't even known I had.
The moment my feat and hands connected with her face,I pushed off and jumped over and past her head. When I landed in the crouching position again, something I didn't think I would be able to pull off, I quickly turned around to see what kind of damage I had done to her.
'I must be able to land because of the cat stuff. Guess it's going to be more useful then I thought.' I thought, pausing when I finally saw the damage I had done.
This was when I realized the second thing.
Watching as Alvida turned her very angry fiery gaze at me, I found that all my claws had done was put twenty perfect half moon punctures on her face, meaning that they didn't do much damaged at all, which meant...
The. Claws. Were. Useless.
"Hahaha! That was totally awesome!" a loud, goofy voice shouted, causing me to turn my eyes from Alvida to look at Luffy, who was grinning like an idiot at me.
Luckily, Alvida still hadn't recovered from the shock of my attack against her face, which was lucky because I spent a few second just staring at Luffy, still not able to believe that it was really him and that I was really in the One Piece world.
"Um.. thanks, I think." I finally said after realizing that he had called my attack 'totally awesome'. "Um, you're Luffy, aren't you?"
"Yeah, how did you know?" he asked, still grinning at me like an idiot.
Unfortunately, I didn't get the chance to answer.
"You rat! How dare you mar my perfect skin?!" Alvida shouted, running toward me with her club raised, clearly planing on trying to smash me again. "Get back here boy so I can kill you!"
'She thinks I'm a boy? I know I'm as flat as a door, but... is it really that bad?' I thought sadly, hanging my head in despair.
"I'm a girl, damn it." I whispered, pouting childishly while glaring up at her as she got closer and closer to me.
Looking up from my sulking, I noticed, for the first time, that Nami was running around on Alvida's ship, most likely to steal stuff.
'huh, so she really can steal stuff in broad daylight without getting noticed.' I thought as I dodged Alvida's attack, slightly amazed at Nami's stealing abilities.
"Coby!" shouted Alvida after she missed me for the third time. Looking back at Alvida, I noticed she was now advancing on a young boy with purple hair that I vaguely remembered from the anime.
'Huh?' I thought in confusion. "Wasn't she just about to kill me?"
Wandering why no one had answered me, I turned my head and looked over my shoulder, only to remember that Lil had taken off shortly after we got here.
"Oh crap!" I exclaimed, looking around for where she might have gone too. "Where the hell did that fluzzy cat go?" (A/n: It's my made up word, it means fluffy and fuzzy)
"Hey, Luffy?" I called over to the straw hat wearing pirate, getting Luffy's attention.
"Huh?" Luffy said, turning his head to look at me.
Now, I think I should say this before I move on. As you know, Luffy isn't the brightest person in the world and tends to have a completely clueless look on his face. It was this 'not the brightest person in the world' personality as well as my stupidity at calling out to him at that moment that caused Luffy to take a club in the back of the head by Alvida.
"Take that you rat!" Alvida shouted as she hit Luffy in the back of the head, using her weight to strengthen the attack.
"uh!" Everyone (not including Alvida's crew) yelled, including me even though I should have known that it wouldn't hurt him. While I knew that getting hit by stuff didn't hurt him from watching the anime, I wasn't used to seeing someone get clobbered with a club and live to tell about it.
It took everyone a minute to recover from the fact that the attack hadn't hurt him at all. If he had been normal, the attack would have killed him.
"Ow!" Luffy said angrily, getting up ant turning to glare at Alvida. "Hitting someone while their back is turned is a dirty trick!" He said angrily, hitting Alvida and sending her skidding across the deck of the ship.
"Um, sorry about that, but-" I said apologetically, only to change my mind about what to say a second later. "Never mind, I need to find my cat." I said, knowing that it would be best to find Lil as soon as possible as the Marines were going to start firing cannonballs soon and I didn't want her to get squished by one.
With that thought in mind, I grabbed my back pack and slung it back over my shoulder, then grabbed my camping stuff, only to pause and glance down at my froggy bag as a thought suddenly occurred to me. Blinking down at my new, and very ugalicious froggy bag, I realized that it's black whole like inside meant that I could probably shove anything I wanted into it, which meant that I wouldn't have to lug around the weight of my camping junk all the time and could just keep it in the froggy bag.
Deciding that it would be better if I actually tested my theory out, I unhooked the froggy bag from my belt and started trying to push my camping gear through the opening, smiling triumphantly when it all slid in without a problem, magically fitting through the small opening without a problem. Once it was all safely inside the froggy bag, I quickly headed over to the hole that was in the middle of the ship's deck, remembering that it had led to the storage room in the anime, which would made it the first place my fat cat would go to. Once I was next too it, I took a deep breath and jumped down into the room below.
Thanks to my new cat like abilities, which I still wasn't used to, I landed gracefully on the floor of the storage room without hurting myself. Grinning from ear to ear at the fact that I hadn't fallen on something sharp or broken my leg when I landed, I quickly started looking around, knowing that the smell of food always seemed to attract Lil in any situation, and she didn't disappoint me either.
Apparently, she had found another giant fishy. The fish was about the size of a large man and was hanging on the wall from a hook, clearly waiting for some chef to come cook it. The fish also had a small black cat dangling from it with the tip of its back fin in her jaws, shaking madly as she tried to tare a piece of it off.
"Huh, so that's where you've been." I said, walking over to her while watching her gnawed away at the giant fish.
She didn't even acknowledge the fact that I had spoken, or even the fact that I was there for that matter.
"Alright, let's go." I said, grabbing her by her middle section and pulling on her slightly, only to find that she was refusing to let go of the damn fish, causing me to nearly yank the thing off the wall in my attempt to separate the her from it.
Blinking down at her a few times, I took a deep to calm my self as I was incredibly annoyed at being ignored.
"Come on Lil, let go of the fish." I finally said, giving her another little pull, slightly harder this time.
Again, she didn't stop trying to eat the fish, even though I had told her to.
"Lil, let go." I said again, now starting to get a little pissed off at her for ignoring me. "Let go!" I ordered, pulling on her as hard as I could, no longer caring if I ripped her pretty little head off in the process, too busy trying to get her away from the fish to care.
After a few more tugs, she finally let go of the fish, causing me to fall back and onto the floor in the process. Sitting up, I turned my head to glare only for my glare to turn into an amused smile when I saw what she was doing.
She was now lying on her back with her back paws in the air while she used her front paws to rub her now swollen belly.
"That was good." She purred, rolling over onto her side to look at me with what had to be a cat version of a drunkards smile.
She was intoxicated.
'Note to self, to much fish meat makes my cat drunk.' I thought, adding that little bit of information to my memory as I slowly stood up and walked over to her.
"So, what's up?" she asked, smiling up at me as I scooped her up so that she was at eye level.
"You. Are. The. Biggest. Pig. Ever." I said, punctuating each word as I made my statement, trying to get my point across.
When your cat starts looking like a balloon with legs, there's a problem.
"No I'm not. Didn't you already meet Luffy?" she pointed out crossing her paws while giving me what could have past for a smirk.
And unfortunately, she had a point, but that didn't mean I had to tell her that.
"Shut up, that's not the point." I said in an annoyed tone, setting her and my backpack on the floor so she could get in it.
Sighing heavily, she got into the bag as quickly as she could, which, thanks to the fact that she was pretty much just a bowling ball with legs now, that was pretty hard for her to do.
Normally I would have found it incredibly funny, but I was still in shock from being thrown into a world that should exist, so I didn't find it at all funny. Deciding that it was best to get moving, I picked up the backpack and slung it over my shoulder, and started heading for the door, only to be stopped a second later when Lilfoot stuck her head out of the back pack and pointed something out to me that I hadn't even realized.
"You do know that the people here are probably going to think you're a pirate, right? If you're lucky, they'll think your just a stowaway, but either way, we'll probably end up in jail if we stay on this boat." She pointed out in a voice that told me that she was a little frighted by our situation, something I wouldn't have thought considering how happy she had been after eating part of the fish.
While I had realized that we were in bad situation, I hadn't really realized just how bad it really was. The only thing that I had really thought about was the obvious, we were in a different world and needed to find a way back to our own world. I hadn't even thought about what it really meant.
There was no way anyone would believe me if I told them I was from another world, and if they did believe me then the world government would try to use the crystal hall and the froggy bag for their own personal gain, so telling people what really happened was obviously out of the question. Then there was the fact that I had somehow managed to end up on a cruise ship of some sort without being and actual passenger, which meant that I was technically a stowaway, or at least that was what everyone might think if I was lucky, and if I was unlucky (which I know I am) then they were going to think that I was a pirate.
If they thought I was a stowaway, then they might let me off thanks to the fight with Alvida, but as I had simply appeared out of nowhere at about the same time as Luffy, who had already told everyone that he was a pirate, most of the people would probably assume that I was apart of his crew, which would make me a pirate.
Then there was the fact that everything in this world was so different from my own. In this world the authorities were completely corrupt and were usually the bad guys, and the bad guys and pirates were sometimes the good guys. Then there was the court system. If you were accused of being a pirate, then you were automatically guilty.
And if you had a devil fruit power but are not a marine, then you are automatically considered a pirate, and while I had never actually eaten a devil fruit, the fact that I had cat like abilities and a tail was kind of hard to explain to the marines as they would be to busy trying to kill me to actually listen.
Basically, I was screwed.
"shit." I said, horror washing over me as I suddenly started to understand the situation.
"We'll be screwed. Yeah, that's what I was saying." Lil said, nodding her head in agreement, her voice sounding a little depressed.
And I couldn't blame her for it either, we were so screwed that it wasn't even funny.
"Oh god, what are we going to do?" I Said, swinging the backpack so that it was in front of me so I could talk to her face to face. "We can't exactly get off the ship, we're in the middle of the ocean and we don't even know where we are." I said, trying to remember if they had said where it was in the anime, but only remembering that it was somewhere in the east blue.
"Well, we could always go with Luffy and join his crew." Lil said with a thoughtful look on her little face. "This world is very dangerous, but if we go with Luffy, at least we know what we're getting into. Plus, if we have to be criminals, at least we could be criminals that tend to help people."
Everything she said was pretty much true, once again proving that she was way too smart to be a normal cat.
"How do you know some much about this place if you couldn't understand people before?" I asked, amazed at how much she knew about the show while wandering how it was even possible, only to remember that I had already decided in the crystal hall that anything was possible.
"I don't know, it's like everything I've ever seen was translated for me. Everything I remembered, but could never understand makes perfect sense to me now." She said, explaining how she knew about the show. "So, since I watched the show with you all the time, I remember bits and pieces of it."
"Huh, that actually makes some sense, in some bazaar and mysteriously screwed up way." I said sarcastically, deciding that it was best not to question it to much.
My sanity was more important then understanding it.
"Whatever, back to the criminal problem. What do you think we should do?" I asked, wandering what she was thinking.
It might be strange to ask a cat questions like that, but there wasn't exactly anyone else I could ask and she seemed to know as much as I did about the anime.
Plus, I kind of liked having someone from my world to talk to, even if that someone wasn't supposed to be able to talk to begin with.
"I already told you, I think we should head off with Luffy." She said, looking at me as though it was a stupid question.
I took me only a few minutes to decided, though the decision wasn't actually made by me. It was actually decided by some people shouting:
"Hey it's the marines! Their here to save us!" someone outside yelled, though I could tell that it wasn't Luffy or Coby speaking.
"Hey, wasn't there another pirate here? The white haired kid with the talking cat, the one that was with the straw hat guy, where did he go?" someone else asked, and I didn't have to asked who he was talking about.
"See, I told you they would think we were pirates!" Lil shouted in panic, diving back into my back pack to hide.
"Fine, you were right, but if I'm going to be a criminal, then I'm going to do it right." I said as I ran over to a couple small crates of apples, grabbing three of the crates and shoving them into the froggy bag. I then grabbed a few jugs of water and a huge bag of rice that was bigger then my body and put them in the froggy bag as well.
"Hay! Wait! You forgot my precious!" Lil shouted, not want me to leave the giant fish behind.
"Fine, damn it! This ship is about to be filled with navy guys and you're just worried about a giant fish!" I said exasperatedly as I grabbed the giant fish off of the wall (taking the rope that it was tied up with as well) and shoving it into my froggy bag. "There, are you happy? Now let's get the hell out of here."
Normally I wouldn't even consider stealing as I had been brought up knowing that it was wrong, nor would I normally believe that I could jump up through a hole several feet above my head, but as I was now a criminal in an anime world and had cat like traits, my old rules no longer applied.
"Fine, I got what I wanted, so let's go." She said as I jumped up through the whole in the ceiling, acting as though I was actually her pet and not the other way around.
Not realizing just how high my new cat like abilities aloud me to jump, I jumped up as hard as I could and ended up shooting off into sky, nearly banging my head on part of the mast in the process.
"REOW! To high! To high!" Lil shouted when she saw how high up we were.
My reaction wasn't any better then hers. The moment I nearly got my head smashed in by part of the mast, I nearly had a heart attack. It wasn't until I landed in a cat like crouching position that I finally calmed down.
Cat abilities so totally rule.
When I finally managed to get over my surprise at heaving landed without breaking anything, I instantly started looking for Luffy and Coby, hoping that I wouldn't get caught by the marines before I found them. Unfortunately for me 'find Luffy and Coby and get off the ship' plan, there was a small problem...
They weren't there.
"What the hell? Where are they?" I exclaimed in horror, hoping that I hadn't missed them.
It was at the same moment that I started to think that I was really REALLY screwed that some creepazoid sailor popped out of no where and tried to grab me. Luckily, I was able to dodge him and get away from him, though it was only because of the whole cat girl thing.
"Hahaha!" The guy laughed, lunging at me each time I jumped away from him. "It seems your friends left you behind. Now you're trapped here!"
Dodging his final lung, I shot him a glare and took off running for the opposite side of the ship, remembering that Luffy's dinghy had landed on top of Nami's boat, which was supposed to be on the same side that Alvida's ship had been on when she attacked.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" Lilfoot screeched at me, knowing what I was about to do.
Without even pausing to see if I had the right about where Luffy and Coby would be, I dove over the edge, not wanting to give the sailor another chance to catch me.
The moment I was in the water, dove under the water, not wanting to get seen if I couldn't find the dinghy. I might be a cat girl, but I was still a good swimmer, so it wasn't that hard for me to stay under while I searched for the small boat. The entire time I was under water, cannonballs were falling around me, telling me that I was still a target at the moment.
It took me a second to spot the small boat thanks to all the cannonballs moving through the water, but the moment I potted it I took off for it as fast as I could, trying to get to it as quickly as possible so that they wouldn't leave me behind.
Lucky for me, they didn't seem to be moving much.
"Hay!" I said, gasping for air as I broke the surface of the water, managing to come up next to them.
"Are you OK? We stopped as soon as we saw you dive into the water." Coby said as he and Luffy both helped me into the boat.
'That explains why they weren't moving.' I thought, still gasping for air as the sail on the little dingy was raised, causing us to take off from the force of the wind.
In one of the episodes, Nami had said that smaller boats were faster and more maneuverable then larger ones, and now I could see what she meant. The moment the sail was up, the boat took off like a bat out of hell, moving so quickly that the cannonballs didn't have a chance to hit us. We may not be moving as fast as a motor boat, but for a boat that was powered by the wind, it was moving pretty damn fast.
'Well, at least we're safe... !!!' I froze in horror as the realization that something was very wrong hit me.
"Crap! Lil?!" I called out in panic, turning my backpack around and digging through it anxiously, hoping against hope that she was still in it and OK.
She wasn't there.
"Oh god! We have to go back!" I said frantically, worried about my fluzzy cat. (Fluzzy = fluffy+fuzzy)
"What?! Are you crazy! Why would we do a stupid thing like that?!" Coby asked, shocked that I would want to go back to where there were a bunch of cannons that wanted to blow us up.
"Yeah, you're a strange guy." Luffy added, looking at me with his big round eyes.
"Lil got left back there! We have to go back for her!" I explained, trying to get them to understand.
"Huh? Someone got left behind? Was it one of your friends?" Luffy asked, still staring at me with those big round eyes of his.
"Yeah, she's the talking cat you saw me with." I said, still pleading with them to head back for the ship.
"That's impossible, there's no such thing as talking cat's!" Coby said, only to be prove wrong a second later, much to my immense relief.
"Then what, pray tell, do I look like to you." Lil said, sticking her head out of the froggy bag, causing me to pull her out and squeeze the life out of her in the tightest hug I could muster.
She was alive.
"You're alive! Don't you ever scare me like that again!" I said, still hugging her tightly.
"I-It talked!" Coby said in shocked, pointing his finger at Lil while falling over in surprise.
"Wow! That's so awesome! Can it do any other tricks?" Luffy asked, apparently thinking that Lil was a circus performer or something.
"I don't do 'tricks'. Dogs do 'tricks', and I am most certainly not a dog." Lil said angrily, glaring at him, clearly offended by the tricks comment.
"Awesome!" Luffy said, ignoring her comment as he leaned over and attempted to pick Lil up out of my arms, only for her to scratch him.
"Ow! Why did you do that!" he demanded, rubbing the scratch marks on his face and glaring at Lil angrily.
"Sorry about that, but she really doesn't like being touched by people, not unless she's known them for a while." I said apologetically, petting her head in an attempt to pacify her.
"Hm, fine." Luffy said, pouting like a child at not being able to play with Lilfoot.
It was at that moment that I realized something.
"Huh, you lost weight." I stated stupidly, blinking down at Lil a few times before a really sick idea came into my head.
The moment my theory entered my head, I grabbed her by her little furry throat with both hands and started shaking her around like a rag doll.
"You did not just shit in my bag!" I said angrily, still trying to shake the life right out of her.
If she had lost all that weight that fast, then it all had to have gone somewhere, and that meant it was probably still in my froggy bag.
The others were looking behind me while this was going on, there eyes popping out and there jaws practically lying on the floor of the dingy.
"I didn't!" Lil chocked out, scratching at my hands as I continued trying strangle her. "This is anime, I simply became thin." she pointed out.
Pausing to think about what she said, I slowly dropped her on the floor of the dinghy, knowing that she was probably telling the truth.
Or at least she had better be, for her sake. P.E.T.A. can't save her fuzzy ass out here.
The moment I let go of here, Lil sank to the floor and sighed heavily, knowing how close she had just come to death. It wasn't until both of us remembered why we dove after Luffy that we finally turned our attentions back to him and Coby.
"You're a pirate, right?" I asked, building up my courage to do what both Lil and I knew we had to do.
If we were going to be staying in the One Piece world and be hunted by the marines, then we were going to do it with Luffy and his crew.
"Huh? Yeah, and I'm gonna be king of the pirates!" He exclaimed happily, throwing his index finger in the air in what could only be described as the promise pose.
Rock lee and Naruto Uzumaki had 'the nice guy' pose, Ash Ketchum does the 'gotta' catch 'em all' pose, and a bunch of people do the victory pose (Mostly Edward Elric), and Luffy had just created the 'Promise' Pose, which just involves a victory pose with only one finger instead of two.
"Yeah, I know it sounds crazy, but he seems to be totally serious about it." Coby said in an apologetic manner, clearly thinking that someone had to apologize for Luffy's craziness and deciding that he might as well do it.
"And you don't have a crew yet, right?" Lil asked, ignoring Coby's comment.
"Yeah, but I'll have a huge crew before long, I think I need about ten guys." Luffy said with a thoughtful expression on his face, clearly thinking about how 'awesome' his crew was going to be.
"Luffy, becoming king of the pirates is a lot har-" Coby started to say, but was quickly cut off by me.
"We want to join." I cut in, causing Coby's jaw to drop in surprise and a huge grin to make its way across Luffy's face.
"Yeah! I finally have my first crew members!" He shouted happily, throwing his fists up in celebration.
In the middle of his celebrating, Luffy suddenly stopped and started blink right past me for some strange reason. He then reached out and grabbed something behind me.
Hard.
"RAWR!" I yelled, scratching at his face in my pain and surprise, causing him to add his own sound of pain to the mix.
The pain was so strong that it was practically in a league of its own. It hurt more then when I accidentally dug my own claws into it, making it clear that he was a lot stronger then he looked, something I already knew from watching the anime, but the pain drove that fact home.
"Ahh!" He shouted in pain, letting go of my now abused tail, which caused me to let go of his face in return.
I was really starting to hate the damn thing, it seemed to be the most useless thing in the world and all it ever did was caused me pain. If I could at least do something with it, like smack people with it or something, then I wouldn't mind it so much, but I couldn't even do that.
"Hey! Why'd you scratch me??!" He demanded, rubbing at the scratch marks on his face.
"What do you mean 'why'd I scratch you'?! You pulled my tail!" I said angrily, glaring daggers at him while I tried to rub the pain out of my abused tail.
At that moment, I wanted nothing more then to smack those giant round eyes right out of his head.
"huh?" Luffy said looking at the fuzzy black thing in my hand, not understanding what I was saying at all.
It wasn't until Coby spoke up that I understood their confusion.
"YOU MEAN IT'S REAL!?!" Coby yelled, shocked to find that the tail was real.
It took him a minute, but he eventually figured out what I was saying.
"What?" Luffy asked, still a little confused as to what was going on, that is until Coby's words and mine both sunk in. "Awesome! You have a tail!"
'Yes numb-nuts. I have a tail. What was the first clue?' I thought angrily, though I didn't actually say it out loud.
"Yes, I have a tail, and you pulled it!" I yelled at him, a vain throbbing in my forehead.
"Huh? Oh!" Luffy said, rubbing the back of his head while giving me an apologetic smile. "Sorry about that. I didn't know it was attached." he said, still trying to calm me down with his stupid smile, which wasn't working.
Not trusting my self to say anything, I simply sat down and ignored him, still petting my tail protectively.
It took Luffy over a minute to see that I wasn't going to start yelling at him and when he did finally get it, he sat back down and started talking to Coby, instantly getting over the fact that I had yelled at him.
That was always something I had like about him in the anime. Once he understood why you were yelling at him, he instantly apologized for it and got over it. Unfortunately, I only liked it in the anime.
When I'm pissed at you, you should feel guilty for a while, damn it!
While Luffy and Coby started talking about where we were going to go, Lil and I started looking around, trying to figure out where we were, which for us was impossible seeing as we were from a different world, but that didn't stop us from trying.
"Well, if you ask me, I think we're in a giant puddle." Lil said in a thoughtful tone, holding on of her claws against her chin and somehow managing to look more clueless then brook when he had thought that a piece of fish was a zombie's weakness.
"Be glad you're cute." I said, picking her up and holding her while wandering how she could be so smart and still consider the ocean a giant puddle.
It was while I was looking out at the ocean around us that I finally realized that Coby was glancing at us every few minutes. Apparently he couldn't get over the whole 'talking cat' and 'girl with a tail' thing.
"Your cat can talk?" He finally asked, staring at Lil with eyes that were so big and round that they seemed to be challenging Luffy's eyes in their roundness.
"Yep." I said, using the most bored voice I could muster while trying not to laugh.
The look on his face? Priceless.
"Hey, I can answer for my self you know!" Lil corrected angrily, her voice sounding way to bossy in my opinion. "And I'm not her cat, she's my pet."
'I'm your pet? Yeah right, I think we're going to have a little talk, you oversized rat.' I thought in slight annoyance, wandering if anyone would notice if I threw her over board.
Considering the size of the boat, they probably would.
"I'm not your pet, fuzz-bucket!" I finally said, bopping her on the head with my fist, causing a large lump the size of a baseball to appear where I hit her.
Coby just stared at me and Lilfoot for a few moments, unable to take his eyes off of us.
"And you have a tail?" Coby asked, moving on to the next thing that was confusing him.
"That's right." I said, knowing that my comments were beginning to mimic Luffy's when Coby was asking him questions in the first episode.
It wasn't an accident either, I was doing it intentionally. I was doing it because I wanted to have my Luffy moment, something that every other character in the series eventually has at least once.
"How?" He asked, still looking at me, or rather at my tail.
"Because I found this thing and a-" Lil started, only to be stopped when I clamped my hands down over her mouth to keep her from talking.
I didn't really want them to know about that, I didn't know how they would react to it. Then again, I wasn't really sure how they would react to anything.
Thinking as fast as I could, I decided that ,since Luffy wasn't freaked out about fighting a merman in the Arlong ark, going with a 'I'm not human' kind of lie would be best, and with that in mind, I said the first thing that came to mind.
"It's because I'm a Ctarl-Ctarl !" I said, while taking my hands off of Lilfoot, afraid that I might accidentally kill her if I kept it over her mouth to long.
The moment my hand was no longer over her mouth, Lil promptly fell over. She knew that it was probably a good idea to go along with it as she knew very well that I would probably throw her into the ocean if she told them the truth. Plus, it was probably the only thing that could explain why I had claws and a tail but could still swim as they had already seen me swim to the boat.
Devil fruit users couldn't swim, and I could, so I obviously hadn't eaten a devil fruit.
"A Ctarl-Ctarl? What's that?" Luffy asked, staring at me with his big round eyes.
"It's my species, I'm a cat person!" I answered, giving the victory sign, another thing I had always wanted to do.
"A cat person? Does that mean you aren't human?" Coby asked, still staring at me in aw.
"Mow, mass omum!" (translation: Wow! That's awesome!) I heard Luffy say, causing me to look over at him, wandering why he sounded so funny.
The moment my eyes landed on him, one sentence started running through my head over and over again.
'Kill the idiot!'
"No! The fishies!" Lilfoot yelled, putting her little paws against her cheeks in a horrified sort of way.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" I demanded, lunging at Luffy and taking my froggy bag away from him. 'My munchies!'
Luffy tried to dodge me, but was caught by Coby, who seemed to be trying to help simply because he knew it wasn't Luffy's bag.
"Hey! I was eating that!" Luffy said, trying to get the bag back.
Ignoring him, I quickly checked the bag, happy when I found that all he had eaten was some of the food I had stolen from the ship and not one of the fortune cookies from hell.
"We know you were eating it, that's the problem!" Lil said, giving him a single scratch across the nose in annoyance.
The reason why she was annoyed was that she still remembered the comment I made about her turning into a mouse, and she really didn't want that to happen.
"Wah! Ow!" Luffy said, rubbing at his face for the third time "Why did you do that?!" he demanded angrily, glaring at Lil for scratching his face.
"Luffy-san. You can't eat food that doesn't belong to you, you have to ask first." Coby said, trying to reason with the glutinous pig.
"But I'm hungry!" He said, still trying to get at the food that we were keeping from him.
"Eating the food wasn't why we stopped you, and it wasn't why Lil scratched you either." I stated, snatching Lil up off the dinghy floor as she slowly tried to get to the bag unnoticed.
'Yeah, like I wasn't going to notice a black fuzzy thing moving around on the tiny boat.' I thought sarcastically, holding her in my arms tightly so that she couldn't get away.
"It wasn't?" Coby asked, shocked that we hadn't stopped him so that he wouldn't eat all the food.
"No, this is a magical bag and there is a lot of terrible stuff in it." I explained, holding the bag up in the air so they could see it.
Though I wasn't sure if the terrible part was true or not, I still had a bad feeling that there might be just about anything in the bag, including something dangerous.
"Huh? Magic?" Both Luffy and Coby asked, Coby in disbelief and Luffy in excitement.
"Yep." Lil said, curling up in my lap when I finally set her down. "She's a witch, and I'm her familiar." She said, coming up with her own lie for the situation.
Apparently she didn't think I could do it on my own.
"A witch?" Coby asked, not believing anything that we were saying
"Yep, and this is my magical witch's bag." I said cheerfully, opening the bag and pulling out the biggest thing I knew was in it. "See." I said, pulling out the huge ass mallet.
"Wo! That is so awesome!" Luffy said, grabbing the bag and looking into it.
I quickly snatched the bag back, not wanting him to drop it into the ocean on accident.
"The point is, it's my witch's bag, and you shouldn't be messing around with it. You have no idea what's in here or how to deal with it." I said, reattaching it to my hip. 'Then again, neither do I.' I added mentally, though I didn't really want them to know that.
"But I'm hungry!" Luffy said, giving me the strongest pout he could.
Pulling out one of the small crates of apples, I handed it to him in an attempt to shut him up, nearly giving Coby a heart attack in the process.
"So, Luffy, We plan to go get that Zoro guy, right?" I asked, trying to change the subject to something other then my magical froggy bag, momentarily forgetting that I hadn't been around when Alvida had mentioned the moss haired, narcoleptic swordsman.
The instant the words left my mouth, I realized my mistake and froze instantly, praying that they wouldn't notice my slip-up. Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw Lil slap her paw to her face, apparently thinking the same thing that I was.
Oh shit.
"Yeah! And if he's a good enough guy, I'll get him to join our crew!" He said, throwing his fist up in the air again.
Lucky for me, Luffy didn't seem to realize that I hadn't been around when the whole Zoro conversation had happened, so it was starting to look like I was off the hook.
(Fish that got away: I'm free! I'm free!)
That was until Coby decided to comment on that little fact.
(Fish that almost got away: But? I was free! -cries-)
"What?! You're going after him?! But you can't do that! He'll kill you!" Coby said, starting his (hopefully) short panic attack.
That was when he turned his head away from Luffy and directed his gaze toward me, instantly sending my 'oh shit' radar into overdrive.
"Hey, how did you know about Zoro? I didn't see you anywhere near us when we were talking about him on the ship." he pointed out, causing Lil and I to both nearly have a panic attack of our own.
This question made Luffy look at me as well, apparently having caused him to remember that little fact.
'note to self, kill Coby when no one is looking.' I thought, wishing he hadn't said anything.
"Yeah, come to think of it, I didn't see you either." Luffy said, looking at me with those giant round eyes that seemed as if they were going to fall right out of his head.
"Um." I said, trying to come up with something as fast as I could. "Lil heard you and told me about it! You know cats, they have the best hearing!" I said as quickly as I could, hoping they would buy it, though I had a feeling that I was doing that thing that some anime characters did when they lied, making it way to easy to figure it out.
Lilfoot nodded her head vigorously while rubbing the back of her neck with her paw, something that I would have found cute if it wasn't for the fact that we were both lying our asses off.
Lucky for us, the guys seemed to believe us, much to my surprise I might add.
"Oh, that makes sense I guess. Cats do hear much better then people do." Coby said, nodding his head as he thought it over, causing me and Lil to sweat drop.
Luffy seemed to have bought it as well and was moving on to the other matter at hand, namely: finding Zoro.
"Right, so where is this Zoro guy anyway?" he asked, moving on to the Zoro subject as though the conversation had never changed from it.
"Why would you want know where Zoro is?! You're not really going after him, are you?!" Coby asked, staring at Luffy as though he was nuts while I started to zone out, only to have Lil interrupt my daydream a few seconds later.
"Aaaaaaah!" She screamed, causing me to look up at her while Luffy and Coby ignored us both.
"What's with you?" I asked, looking over at her as she kept turning her head in every direction.
"Water!" She yelled, still looking around frantically.
"What about water?" I asked, still not understanding why she was freaking out.
"We're surrounded by water!" She shouted, jumping onto my almost completely flat chest, and grabbing my shirt in her paws and looking up at me with big scared eyes.
"Yeah, we're in the ocean, remember? The 'big puddle'? It's one of those 'big puddles' that cover the whole world." I said, petting her in a soothing fashion, trying to help her calm down.
Though she had commented about us being in a big puddle before, it seemed to just be sinking in now.
"But! I'm a cat! I don't do water!" she said, still shaking on her little paws. Deciding that it would probably be safer in my backpack, she promptly dove into it and didn't come back out, clearly not wanting to see the ocean.
Rolling my eyes at her, I turned my attention back to Coby and Luffy, only to find that they were staring at me.
"Your... One strange dude." Luffy said while Coby nodding his head in agreement.
This statement caused my eye to start twitching again. It was bad enough that the elephant lady had thought that I was a guy, but this was totally bullshit. There was no way I was going to let them get away with that kind of shit.
Girls HATE being told that they look like a boy, damn it!
Looking up at them, I smiled as their looks changed to that of dread in less then a second. It seemed that they could sense their impending doom, something I was very, very happy about.
"So, I'm a strange 'guy', huh?" I asked, stressing the word guy, looking at them both with a very malicious glint in my eyes.
It was at that moment that they both did something very, very, very stupid.
They nodded.
"Bamb!"
I don't know how it happened, but my giant mallet had suddenly appeared in my hands and, in a split second, I had bashed both of them on the head with it, causing large bumps to appear where I hit them.
"See what happens when you tell a girl she looks like a guy?" I asked, sitting back down while still holding the mallet in my right hand, planing on using it again if I needed to..
Luffy starred at me for a moment, only to open his mouth again and do something very stupid, again.
"Wait, you're a girl? Are you sure?" he asked stupidly, causing Coby to squeak in horror and turn to stare at him with fear in his eyes.
"Bamb!"
Luffy got another hit for his comment, and would be sure to get another if he didn't shut up soon.
It took another few hits to get Luffy to see that if he didn't stop implying that I was a guy, I was going to keep beating the crap out of him.
"Oh, so you're a girl." He finally said, his swollen lips somehow not stopping him from talking. He was now black and blue, and was also sporting several very large lumps on his head do to the fact that he didn't seem to have a filter between his mind and his mouth.
"My mistake!" He added, smiling like an idiot in order to try and pacify me. It only worked do to the fact that he had finally stopped making comments about how I look like a guy. He had also, during some point, pointed out my chest, or rather the fact that I didn't seemed to have one, something that got him several whacks with the mallet...
Coby had simply sat back and watched as I slowly beat the shit out of Luffy for his stupidity, knowing that he would get hit as well if he said anything.
"Good! So, Coby, which way do we go to find Zoro?" I asked, looking up at the sky and watching the clouds go by as tough nothing had happened.
"Um, we should head just north of here. It's actually not that far." He stated, looking down at the floor of the dinghy.
For several hours, we sat in silence, each of us off in our own thoughts. Coby was navigating the boat, Luffy was daydreaming about being king of the pirates, Lil was daydreaming about a mountain of fresh fish, and I was wandering if I would ever get home.
It was shortly after Lil had started talking about fish in her sleep that Luffy started to get hungry, and as soon as he mentioned food, she woke up. In short, I found myself on the wrong end of Luffy's and Lil's begging.
"I'm hungry! Can we eat now?" Luffy asked for the umpteenth time while Lil gave me the saddest Kitten eyes she could muster.
The two of them had been badgering me about food for the past hour and a half and didn't seem to be planning on stopping anytime soon. They were both getting hungry and were determined to get at the food as soon as possible.
"Fine!" I shouted in exasperation, finally giving in to their damn begging.
Grabbing the froggy bag, I started dividing up the food, wandering how much there actually was. At first I left some food for later, but then Coby told me how close we were to the island where Zoro was, so I just brought it all out.
"We might as well eat it all now, we'll be at the island in just over an hour, I can already see it from here." He said, pointing off into the distance. The moment he said this, the left over food that I hadn't divided up yet suddenly vanished into thin air, and so did a large portion of mine and Coby's food as well.
Coby and I both shouted in surprise when we saw that some of our food was missing and instantly started looking around to see where ithad disappeared to while we both snatched up our remaining bits. It took us only a moment to figure out who had eaten our food, and there were two culprits, both of whom were trying to blame it on the other, though both of their mouths were full.
"Lilfoot!" I yelled, glaring at the over sized cat who was now in her bowling ball form again. (Normally I would find the fact that she looked like a bowling ball with legs cute, but the fact that she had gotten like that from eating most of my food kind of prevented that.)
"Luffy-san!" Coby yelled, glaring daggers at the now round Luffy.
Out of nowhere, my now trusty mallet appeared in my hands and I promptly started beat the living daylights out of the two food thieves.
After I made sure that Luffy and Lil were very sorry for what they had done, me and Coby ate our food in piece and quiet, ignoring the painful moans of pain that were coming from the two idiots. Once we were done eating, everyone sat back and waited for us to get to the shore, trying to relax.
Well, almost everyone.
"I'm still hungry."
Luffy had been complaining about still being hungry ever since we had eaten and it was starting to get on my nerves. He had already eaten almost two crates of apples, so I didn't want to hear it.
"Luffy, I know you're hungry, but please stop complaining, we're almost in port now. If you wait a few minutes, you'll be able to buy something in the market, I promise." I said, hoping against hope that he would stop begging for food, though I knew that he would beg for food at every opportunity.
Where was Sanji when you needed him?
When we finally docked, Luffy started his whining about being hungry again, and this time I let him. I was still feeling a bit guilty for yelling at him before, so I didn't really feel like yelling at him. Of course, he only started whining again after he got over his shock at the fact that we had actually made it to where we were trying to get to, causing Coby to point out to him that anyone that wanted to be on the seas should at least know how to navigate.
After tying the boat to the dock, we started walking, happy when we finally came across a market, one that I remember seeing in episode two or three.
'I wish I knew which episode it was. I might have been a fan of the anime, but now I might actually need to know when things happened.' I thought, realizing that the knowledge of what happened in the anime would probably help us a lot, if I could actually remember it all that is.
Looking at all the food venders, I realized another small problem with my situation. It had completely slipped my mind thanks to all the other stuff that had happened, but it was definitely something I was going to have to deal with.
'Great, I don't have any money here..." I thought, realizing that I wouldn't be able to buy any food. "I guess I could just steal some from Old Metal Jaws' place.' I thought, remembering that Captain Morgan was technically a bad guy, not to mention a marine.
"Hey, is that Zoro guy around here somewhere?" Luffy asked someone after paying for his pear, cutting into my thoughts and causing everyone in the market to run for it.
When everyone disappeared, we all looked around to see where they had gone.
"Maybe we shouldn't mention the name Zoro here..." Coby whispered, stating the obvious and thinking that everyone had disappeared because they were afraid of Zoro.
Luffy of course ignored Coby's comment and simply started toward the marine base.
"This is a weird. Let's head to the marine base and check it out. You want to be a marine right?" He asked Coby as we started walking, causing him to jump slightly at the mention of his dream.
"Well of course I do Luffy, but I really don't think I'm ready for it just yet. From what I heard, the man in charge of this based is Captain Morgan." Coby said, causing the few people who were brave enough to come back out on to the street to suddenly run away again, much to Luffy's amusement.
The three of us (four if you include Lil) looked up and down the street, Luffy and Coby wandering why they had just taken off like that at the sound of the Captains name, while me and Lilfoot were just surprised that anyone could move that fast.
"Hahaha! This town sure is a weird place!" Luffy laughed, walking off in the direction of the marine base.
"That was odd. I mean I understand if they're scared of Zoro, but why did they flip when I mentioned the marine captains name? I don't know... I've got a bad feeling about this." Coby said pessimistic, walking along side Luffy as we continued heading for the base.
"Maybe they were all just jumping around for the fun of it?" Luffy said, causing me and Lil to roll our eyes at the back of his head.
That was a really stupid theory.
"And how would that make any sense?" Coby asked indignantly, unknowingly voicing mine and Lil's thoughts.
"Maybe the marine captain is a really corrupt guy." I said, unable to stop my self.
If I know what's going to happen, I might as well use that information to my advantage.
"What?! How can you say that?!" Coby asked indignantly, unable to believe that I had really just said that.
"Yeah, I bet he's got a mettle mouth too." Lil added, smirking at Coby like the cat that ate the canary.
"And I bet he has an ax for hand!" I added, jumping up and down while thrusting my fists into the air.
Hey, It's only annoying when other people do it, when I do it it's OK.
"Yeah, and I bet his son is a cross-dresser that looks like Michael Jackson and Jerry Springer got jiggy with it." Lil said, causing me to choke at the image that suddenly went through my head, which caused me to start cracking up.
I had never really thought about it like that, but he did kind of look like their love child.
The others just stared at us, not really getting the joke.
"Who's Michael Jackson and Jerry Springer?" Coby asked, causing me and Lilfoot to sweat drop.
"No one, just forget we said anything." We both said in unison, still laughing are asses off.
"We're here!" Luffy shouted happily, causing the rest of us to look up at the massive gate standing in front of us.
'How the hell did I not notice something like that?' I thought in amazement, marveling at the fact that I was now standing in front of a massive gate and hadn't even noticed it until Luffy pointed it out.
"Wow it's huge!" Luffy shouted, staring up at the wall, clearly planning on climbing it.
"I've finally made it..." Coby said quietly, starting to get a little sad now that he was getting close to leaving us. "This is where you and I part ways. We didn't have long together, but-" he said, stopping about half way through his sentence to find that Luffy had disappeared while Lil and I just stood their staring at him.
"He went that way." We both said, pointing off to the side of the wall, with Lil sitting on my shoulder.
Coby looked in the direction that we were pointing, only to nearly have a heart attack a second later when he saw that Luffy had climbed up onto the side of the wall.
"Hey! Where's the foothold?!" Luffy asked in an annoyed voice, trying to get a better grip on the wall so that he wouldn't fall off.
"Hey! Get down from there! What do you think you're doing?! They'll see you!" Coby shouted in panic, waving his arms around frantically, trying to get Luffy's attention.
"Now where's this Zoro guy?" Luffy asked, completely ignoring Coby's shouts as he started trying to see where Zoro was.
"They wouldn't keep him out in the open, he's probably tucked in a prison cell below ground." Coby pointed out, having already forgotten his shock at seeing Luffy on the wall.
"There he is!" Luffy shouted in excitement, dropping back down to the ground and running over to a different part of the wall. "I'm gonna get closer!" He explained as he went past us.
After a few minutes of trying to find a good spot, he finally found one he liked and climbed up to the top again. After a few minutes of looking out over the courtyard on the other side of the wall, he called down to the rest of us.
"Coby! Cat! Girl-! Hey, what is you're name?" He asked, turning to look down at me from his spot on the wall.
'That's right! I never told him my name, I completely forgot about it.' I thought, wandering how anyone could forget to do something like that.
"Yeah, come to think of it, you never did tell us your name... We heard you say your cat's name, but that was it." he said, unknowingly adding to my embarrassment.
Slapping a hand to my face in embarrassment, I silently berated myself for forgetting something like that. I had never forgotten to introduce my self before, and I wasn't to proud of the fact that I had. Telling people your name when you meet them wasn't something you normally forgot to do.
"Sorry about that, " I said apologetically, striking a pose in an attempt to impress Luffy, which wasn't that hard to do. "my name is Kaede Tsuda Burnett, And I'm a Ctarl-Ctarl white witch!
I only made people call me Kida if they couldn't pronounce my name, so I decided to leave it out for now as I didn't think they would have a problem with pronouncing my name.
"Oh! Well my name is Monkey D. Luffy, and I'm gonna be king of the pirates! Ah!" Luffy said, giving a slight shout when he suddenly lost his grip on the wall and fell to the ground, landing on his head.
"Luffy san, I think you already told her that." Coby stated, apparently unfazed by Luffy's fall now that he knew that most physical attacks didn't hurt him.
It took Luffy less then a second to stand back up and climb back up again, which didn't really surprise any of us.
"Hey guys! I see him!" Luffy called down to us as Coby started to climbed the wall so that he could see what it was that Luffy was shouting about, not believing that it was Roronoa Zoro.
"Luffy, I am telling you he's not- huh?!" Coby gasped, apparently having finally seen the man that I already knew was tied up in the courtyard.
"Do you think his hair really looks like moss?" I whispered to Lilfoot, not wanting the others to hear me.
"Probably, but what I want to know is will he pet me." Lil stated thoughtfully, having a very one track mind.
For her it was always the same things, food, pet me, sleep.
And yes, in that order.
Walking up to the wall, I gave it a quick once over in an attempt to judge how tall it is, already planning on jumping up it. The moment I went into crouching position, Lilfoot dove into my backpack, not wanting to fall off when I jumped. When I was sure she was safely secured in my backpack, I jumped up the wall and landed in a crouching position on the wall itself, looking down into the courtyard.
That was when I saw him.
Roronoa Zoro.
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