Me: Hey, everyone! We are back with the next installment of Kim Possible vs. Harley Quinn. I am you author whysoserious1985, along side me is everyone's favorite halfa, Danny Phantom.
Danny: Great to be here, dude.
Me: Well, Danny. The fans are alive with their reviews and their entries in the contest.
Danny: Yea, they have. MissBliss8527 and BlakeMaster10 are pulling for Harley. Whitetigerwolf is giving the edge to Kim, as are soulknight121 and shadowwriter329.
Me: Speaking of soulknight, he finally paid up on his bet, and threw down another $50 on Kim. He's 0/1 so far.
Danny: Does he have the spare cash to do that?
Me: Hell if I know.
Danny: Yea, so what about the contest?
Me: No one has won yet. There have been claims of Godzilla vs. Bigfoot, no… Godzilla vs. Zilla, that one was featured in Godzilla: Final Wars. And Big G won. Superman vs. Son Goku, Percy Jackson vs. Ichigo. I like these ideas, but none of them were dead on.
Danny: Was anyone close?
Me: One person was close, but I am not going to say who. So the contest continues.
Danny: Speaking of contests, who is going to get the edge?
Me: (smiles, turns on tv)
Back in the Fight Club, Geoff has already cast his vote for Harley Quinn, but who will win Mack's? Quinn's pop stick or Possible's hair dryer hook?
"The fact of the matter remains, Geoff," Mack began. "Harley's pop stick, being a one shot weapon, in conjunction with her not using it very often; does not convince me she is superior here." Mack ignored the dirty look from Quinn as he continued. "Regardless of how brutal she used the spent stick, it does not compare." Kim's eyes beamed as the expert brought his points to her. "Me, as a Navy SEAL, anytime you can use a weapon multiple times is a tactical advantage. Combine that with the fact that this was Kim's 'go to' tool before upgrading and the effective misdirection she used in over-shooting the target; I have to overrule you, Geoff. Edge to Kim Possible."
"YOU GO, KP," Ron shouted, sharing a high five with the redhead.
For medium range weapons: Edge, Kim Possible. The camera panned over to Robert Daley at his computer with Geoff. He was typing furiously to enter data into the simulation. Each warrior's battlefield tactics will provide crucial data for the digital combat engine. Mack will break down each combatant's most legendary tactics to predict how she'll perform in the heat of battle. The camera skimmed over to Mack's TouchTable to find only Harley Quinn standing there, shackled again and under guard of the attending GCPD officers.
"Baldy?" she called looking around. "Where is he? Sure I'm a little P-O'ed at him, but I'm not going to hurt hiiiiiiim." The sarcastic comment caused the officers to quickly tighten the cuffs on the clown. "Reeeeeeally tough crowd." A mysterious whooshing sound was then heard and Mack suddenly appeared from one of the corners of the Fight Club.
"I just had a very interesting conversation with an old friend of yours, Harley," Mack said walking up to the table.
"Pointy ears and black leather?" Harley asked very dryly. Mack nodded as he loaded a flash drive into a port of the table computer. It brought up a schematic of large fish tank with the Dark Knight suspended above, upside down and chained.
"Batman himself told me that you hold a distinction that no other criminal possesses in the whole of Gotham City and elsewhere he has traveled," Mack started. Harley smiled as Kim listened intently as to what this distinction was. "YOU, have come the closest to killing Batman." Geoff and Robert turned away from the sim data, the crew started mumbling, and Kim and Ron gasped in awe of what they just heard. After a minute of complete silence, Quinn finally spoke.
"The Death of a Hundred Smiles," she began. "Mr. J abandoned it because he could never get the piranha to smile." Kim quickly whispered something to Ron and he just shrugged.
"Just what did you do to make this plan work and nearly end Batman," Mack asked.
"To start with," Quinn began. "I tricked Bats into thinking I was turning on the Joker and would help him in exchange for protection. Naturally, Batsy fell for it and I knocked him out with some drugs. I chained him up tight, took his belt, and put him over a tank of piranha. Then, I began lowering him into the water."
"Let's take a look at that," Mack said as the camera focused on the table display. Quinn began to explain the schematic.
"With Batman upside down, the piranha would look to him like they were smiling with their big, cute teeth. Taking his belt was to make sure Batman couldn't use any of his toys to escape. And, it would have made a nice trophy."
"Not only that," Mack interrupted as he circled the Batman figure on the diagram. "But being inverted, the blood rush to Batman's head would have caused vertigo-like disorientation, making it almost impossible for him to function clearly enough to escape." Quinn looked at the former SEAL with a moderate smile.
"You're not as dumb as you look, Baldy," she said. Kim looked on as the clown continued. "Ivy, Freeze, Penguin, they all made the mistake of leaving Batman all alone or not taking his tools away from him, or a combination of the two. I didn't. Batsy was as good as dead."
"With this evidence," Mack said pointing at the diagram. "Batman should be dead, but he isn't. What happened, Harley?" Kim and Ron came closer to listen how Quinn lost the opportunity that many super-criminals have dreamed of.
"Batman tricked me in thinking my Puddin' was lying to me," she started. "He told me how I was manipulated from day one with Mr. J. Told me I was pegged as 'hired help' the second he saw me at Arkham." A tear came to Harley's eye as she remembered Batman's words. "Then he pointed out that the piranha wouldn't leave much evidence of his death and Mr. J wouldn't believe me." Wiping the tear from her eye, Harley continued. "I called Joker and he came right over."
"What happened, Harley," Mack asked.
"Mr. J wasn't too happy and he showed me some tough love."
"He threw you out of a 5 story window, Harley," Mack interrupted. Kim covered her mouth at Mack's statement.
After being lowered to the floor by the Joker, Batman capitalized and escaped from his chains. He and the Joker battled in the warehouse, then on a train. After a brief battle, the Joker escaped using a short fall and a smoke screen from a factory to escape. Quinn was treated from her injuries and returned to Arkham Asylum.
"I explained the punch line," she said somberly. "Rule one with comedy, never explain why something is funny. Rule two: Don't steal Mr. J's shtick. The next thing I knew I was back at Arkham recovering and the Joker had disappeared again." Harley's somber mood quickly changed to a cheery one. "But my Puddin' still managed to bring me a get well rose and he sprung me a few weeks later. When I was all healed, he apologized to me over and over again, all night long." Harley ended her story with a lustful chuckle. Kim covered her mouth again, only this time to keep her lunch down.
"THAT IS SICK AND WRONG!" Ron exclaimed.
"And even after nearly killing you," Mack said bringing up a picture of the Joker. "You still associate yourself with this man."
"We had a rough patch, Baldy," Quinn quipped.
"Nevertheless, this shows that you have the foresight to prepare one of these elaborate kill scenarios, that are fatal if all goes well." Quinn nodded at the expert's assessment.
But in the world our combatants exist, frontal assaults and elaborate plans are not the standards. A chemical weapon attack is another tactic, and Quinn and the Joker use a terrifying bio-agent, Joker Gas. A deadly toxin that can be deployed in projectile, bomb, or multi-stage forms. The Nitrous mixture induces uncontrollable laughing before contorting the victims face into a smile. The camera panned to a laboratory where two chemists were working with several mixtures. Soon after, the lab reports were presented to Dr. Dorian.
"After carefully studying the original Joker gas," the Dr. Dorian began speaking directly to the camera. "We determined it was a concentrated Botox toxin suspended in a Nitrous Oxide medium. The nitrous, commonly know as laughing gas, is what causes the uncontrolled laughter while the Botox toxin causes the muscular system to paralyze. Normally, Botox toxins cause mild paralysis of muscle tissue and tighten up the skin. That's why it is popular with cosmetic surgeons. But in this case, it is so potent; the Botox toxin constricts the muscular system. When exposed to this gas, it causes the facial muscles to tighten and curl into a smile. The toxin also effects the heart, causing it to contract to the point where it cannot pump blood throughout the body. Death comes slowly in a similar form to cardiac failure. This toxin is not only deadly, but also is on par with Anthrax and Ricin in terms of how easy it is to develop."
Kim Possible attacks with her own chemical agent with an ingenious disguise: Lip Gloss Knock Out Gas. A non-lethal gas designed to incapacitate its victim.
"Contrary to the Joker Gas," the doctor continued. "Kim's gas is bacterial based and produces a very potent odor designed to overload the senses, rendering its victim unconscious. However, unlike the Joker Gas, which takes a brief moment to kick in. This gas is effective almost immediately. One of our interns caught a whiff of it and was out for ten minutes. Apparently, it smells like dirty socks which I found funny."
After researching the mixtures, our Deadliest Warrior Chemists have created an inert gas with same dispersal capabilities of the deadly Joker Gas. These two gases will do head to head in a contest designed to simulate their battlefield deployments. The camera shifted again to an outside area where a small obstacle course was set up. Mack, Dr. Dorian, and Geoff were surrounded by all parties and began the next test.
"In the heat of battle," Mack began. "You can find yourself in a situation where you are outmatched in either weapons or combat capabilities. Using a smoke screen to disorient your opponent is not unheard of. Simply switching to a bio-agent is the next logical step. But how you are able to deploy it in a combat situation is key. In any potential ambush situation, you have to make decisions in a fraction of a second."
"Here we have set up an urban combat scenario," Geoff said as everyone focused on the free standing door. Behind it was a mock alley with a series of windows, some trash cans, and a dumpster. "What we have is a mock up of what you two might encounter if you were fighting someone and they escaped. Common low level crooks will flee if they get the chance. But super-criminals are known to use an ambush if the situation presents itself."
"You're damn right, nerd," Harley snapped.
"Must you act condescending in all you do, Harley?" Kim asked. Ron put his arm on his girlfriend trying to calm her down, and stay focused.
"Anyway, in this test," Geoff continued. "You are going to be armed with your gas weapons. Kim, yours is the lip gloss." Mack handed the small container to the redhead. "And Harley, you will use the 'bang' flag dart gun," Geoff finished as Mack held up the gun. Harley offered her shackled hands to the cops and was released. Once free, Quinn reached for the gun. Suddenly, a batarang flew across her arm and stuck into the table. The scientists and combatants jumped back in shock.
"Behave yourself!" was written across the weapon. Harley grabbed the black piece and threw it over her shoulder before grabbing the imitation revolver. Kim fumbled with the lip gloss clasp and waited for their instructions.
"In an ambush situation, it's either kill or be killed," Mack began. "But the real challenge is identifying whether to attack or not." Harley and Quinn nodded at Mack. "The last thing you want to do is use a weapon on a civilian or bystander." Quinn gave a very loud throat clear as Mack spoke. "Or accomplice," he finished.
"The alley you see in front of us is rigged with two automatic cut-outs," Geoff began. "You each will to exit from the door and go down the alley. When a cut out pops up, hit it with your gas weapon as quick as you can. But remember, one cut out is a friend, the other is a foe."
"Don't attack the wrong person," Dr. Dorian said. "I don't like it when I have to treat collateral damage."
The experts will be looking for weapon deployment, accuracy, versatility. Kim Possible is up first. Kim took up her position behind the door and tightly held the lip gloss clasp in her hand.
"And…GET 'EM, KIM," Geoff shouted. She opened the door calmly and stepped carefully, scanning the alley. Her fist was up, grasping her gas clasp. Kim stepped methodically passed the first trash can, nothing. As she passed the first window, Kim eyed the hole, waiting. Again, nothing happened.
"She's like a snake waiting to strike," Geoff commented. Mack nodded watching the young lady. Her pace was steady and deliberate. Kim passed the first window and came to the second. As she turned to it, an image jumped up with a bang. Kim quickly sucked in and held a breath of air and flicked the cap open with her thumb. She reared her arm back…
"First target is," Geoff called. Kim froze and snapped the cap closed as she saw a cutout of her boyfriend, Ron. "Good eyes there," Geoff finished.
"Yea, she's had practice with me…" Ron chuckled and scratched the back of his neck. "Getting in the way, ha-haa…" Mack, Geoff, and Dr. Dorian glared at the young man before returning to Kim. After letting her breath out, she continued down the alley to the dumpster. Green eyes continued to scan, waiting. As Kim stepped next to the dumpster, a figure jumped out at her with another bang. With a quick turn, Kim sucked more air in and flipped open the cap. An image of Harley Quinn stood in front of her and Kim chucked the open clasp at the figure. It hit its mark right on the face of the cutout and tan powder stained the face. Quickly, Kim turned on her heels and spun around; delivering a thunderous roundhouse kick to the head off of the cutout, drawing a series of whoops and hollers from Geoff and Harley.
"Red's got a mean streak," the blonde said.
"Nice shot, KP," Ron shouted.
"Kim you can breathe," Dr. Dorian shouted. "That powder is inert, no gas." Kim let her breath go.
"Force of habit, Doc," she said triumphantly as the experts walked over.
"Is kicking an unconscious opponent force of habit too?" Mack asked.
"The show is called 'Deadliest Warrior,'" she responded.
"Emphasis on deadly," Dr. Dorian said as he picked the "severed head." He examined residue on the face first. "Ok, you hit target right in the face, getting your knockout gas into the body quickly. And from what I read in the lab report, Quinn would be unconscious right away, rendering her harmless. At that point you can cuff her and then it's the cop's job from that point on. BUT, you decided to kick Harley in the head and caught her right about where the temple would be. Any medical professional would agree that high impact to the temple is bad news. If the impact is strong enough, a hemorrhage is likely and that is deadly if perfectly placed."
"So we're calling this a kill shot?" Geoff asked. Everyone held their breath while Dr. Dorian thought.
"Potentially," he finally said. "I call it 50/50. The skull is stronger than this cardboard." Dr. Dorian finished his assessment and threw the head on the ground.
"So the princess is dancing on the edge," Quinn taunted.
"I'd rather see you in jail than a coffin, Quinn," Kim retorted.
"Yea, yea, yea," Quinn said walking to the door. "Your gas only knocked me out. Sit down and take notes, kid. School's in session." Quinn picked up her gun and readied herself. The camera panned back to find the experts back at the computer, and Harley Quinn wait behind the closed door.
Will Harley Quinn be on target with her one shot?
"Smile for the camera, Harley," Geoff shouted. Quinn did and gave a half pull to the trigger, releasing the 'BANG' flag. "GO," he shouted. Harley kicked open the door and trained the gun on the alley. Confidently, she strode into the mock up at her normal pace. The gun swiped across the scene like radar as Harley approached the trash can. A figure jumped up from the can with a bang. Harley swung the gun to her right and pulled the trigger, firing the little flag. It flew threw the air and impacted a cutout of a masked thug right in the heart.
"Wrong target," Kim shouted. Quinn just shrugged her shoulders and tossed the gun over her shoulder.
"Like I care…" she answered. As Harley turned her back, the dart released its hidden gas canister and green vapors enveloped the top of the cutout. "I see movement; I'm pulling the trigger, Red." The GCPD quickly cuffed the blonde as the entourage walked to the target.
"Wow, friendly fire," Dr. Dorian began. "This is not a good day for our thug friend. To start with, the dart itself pierced the right ventricle, one of the four heart chambers. That's bad enough, but the real kick isn't even the toxin. The release of the nitrous gas would create a temporary cavity in the body, normally bad. But in this case, the cavity is being created in the heart, very bad. The heart may be a pump, but it has structural limitation. Enough pressure, and it can burst, like it probably did here. This guy is dead before the gas can even take effect." The experts nodded as Harley smiled. "If the dart wasn't in the heart, the toxin would have been released into the bloodstream. Death from the toxin would have been in minutes. Either way, this guy is dead."
"That's how you do it, kid," Quinn said.
"Since when is killing one of your own thugs a good thing?" Kim asked.
"They're all expendable," the clown quipped. "You act like I actually care about human life!"
"Uhhh," Ron quipped. "What if that cutout was the Joker?"
"You might be dumb enough to get in the way, but not my Puddin'," Quinn retorted.
Both women have demonstrated the effectiveness of their weapons. But it is the actions of the combatants, not the weapons that our experts are weighing on. So who gets the edge? The camera panned back to the three experts in the alley mock up.
"With both women," Mack began. "We saw strengths and weaknesses in this test. Kim may have yielded a potential kill, but it was not from her weapon. She only had a weapon designed to knock you out. Harley's gas is designed to kill. Normally, I'd cast my vote for Harley, BUT…" All present turned to the unprecedented "but" of Mack. "Harley was reckless with her weapon. In the military, friendly fire is unacceptable in all forms. Sending an accomplice to the grave is reducing your assets. No assets, means no options. No options, equals less killing potential. This is going to significantly raise Harley's Recklessness rating and lower her Battlefield Tactics X-Factors in the sim. Kim was more disciplined and focus, which will reflect in her X-Factors." Kim smiled a Joker-like grin, while Harley furrowed her brows in anger.
"This is where I'll disagree with you, Mack," Dr. Dorian began. "Internal cavity in the heart… In all my years of practicing medicine, I have never seen anything that comes close to that. And we know Harley plays by her own rules. It boils down to Kim's tools in this test are not designed to kill. Harley recorded a kill here. Edge to Harley Quinn." The camera focused now on Geoff.
Key facts have been brought up. Which lethal lady will take the edge in close range weapons?
Me: (pauses tv)
Danny: I cannot believe Harley would shot first and ask later.
Me: (deadpan stare)
Danny: …noted.
Me: Whysoserious85 back with the next installment. Alongside me is Danny Phantom.
Danny: Dudes…
Me: Well we are winding down on Harley vs. Kim. Only one more chapter to post.
Danny: Really? I thought there would be one more chapter before the fight.
Me: According to the new format of Deadliest Warrior, there is only Kim's tactical breakdown, the X-Factor rating, and the fight itself. So the next chapter will be the conclusion.
Danny: That's good. And it's about time. This story took a long time.
Me: Danny, it's been a rough year for me. Lesser men would have taken their own lives with how bad it was. Plus, I have bills to pay. But my schedule has solidified and I imagine it'll be only a few days, a week at most before the final chapter is posted. Then, I'll post for A Journey's End, then the final chapter of Bats & Bandits.
Danny: Well, I'm sorry to see this story end.
Me: Yea, but the sooner I finish those projects, the sooner the next installment of the Fusion Series begins. Which reminds me…
Danny: Ok, let's here the next clue…
Me: Click the REVIEW button below. Cast your vote for who gets the edge, Kim or Harley. Who will be the Deadliest Warrior?
Clue #2: The number 4 is key to both combatants.
Previous clue: Japan vs. American