Chapter 9: Poll of Resurrection
Summery: I may never know how it truly began, but I do know that I never truly had a choice in the events that led me here. I am in one piece now, and have unwillingly left my own world behind. That is all that matters, and all I need to know.
Disclaimer: I am in no way associated with any legal rights to one piece in any form, I do not own one piece or any part of the merchandising, gaming, manga, anime, characters, or anything of the sort. Please do not sue me as I do not have any money. The only things that I own from this fic are my own original characters.
A/N1: I KNOW ZORO IS ALSO CALLED ZOLO, I have also decided to leave the decision on the pairing up to the readers.
Please not that chapter 6 (or chapter 7 if you count the prologue) had three paragraphs added on to the end of it. I forgot all about something and had to add it in.
The massive edit that ran from 4/4/09 to 4/7/09 is finished. All the chapters from here on out are knew (unless I do another edit... but I doubt that will happen.)
'thoughts'
"Words"
(inner Kaede)
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Being dragged into a shop against my will was annoying enough, but it hadn't stopped there.
Once Nami had me in the shop, even though I was still kicking and screaming like hell, she dragged my ass over to a rack of clothes that could only be described as 'frilly'. They weren't what I would have expected to find in a shop in such a small village, and I wasn't to happy at seeing them either.
There is only one word that could ever be used to replace 'frilly'. There was only one word that could even attempt to sum up that which was the horror of these factory rejects defined as 'fashion'.
Evil.
That was what they were. Evil was the closest word that could describe the horrors I was seeing in that shop.
If I ever made it out of their alive, I would probably be so damaged, so disturbed, so irreparably violated that I would for ever be trapped in an unending nightmare of frills and pink lace.
Shoot me now and save me the agony of this sorry existence.
"No! Anything but pink!" I screamed, seeing that most of the clothes on the rack were a horrible Pepto-Bismol pink.
Lucky for me, and for her health, she didn't grab any of them. Instead, she grabbed one of the blue tops, and a pair a dark blue pants. Not as bad as what I thought it was going to be.
By the time Nami and Lil was finished with me, all my old clothes had been burned and I had a whole new wardrobe, as well as 13,981 lower beli count.
$13,981 beli down the drain, waisted on a bunch of clothes that I was secretly planing on burning the first chance I got. There were a few things I didn't mind, but if she thought I was keeping the bikini then she was as crazy as most people thought Luffy was.
The outfit she had dressed me in, which she did as though I was her own personal Barby doll, was a light blue top that had a shoulder baring neckline, and a pair of really tight blue jeans that were slightly wider at the ankle.
She had also dragged me to a hair salon, which I hadn't thought exist in this world, and had forced me to get my hair done. I didn't mind that part though, I actually liked it. It was a vast improvement.
'I'm free, I'm free!' I thought happily as we finally left the last shop. It wasn't even dark yet, but I could tell that several hours had past, which meant that I didn't have to deal with the whole Usopp-Kuro argument.
"I wander where everybody went?" Nami asked as we exited the hair salon.
"Up the road a bit, near a fork in the road where some weirdo is doing the moonwalk." I told her, walking toward the entrance of the village, wanting to see the weird guy doing the moonwalk. I wasn't really sure if the others would be there yet or not, but I knew where they would be because we had past the spot when we were heading to the restaurant with Usopp.
I couldn't remember the weird guy's name, but I remembered almost everything else about him because I had dubbed him Micheal Jackson's and Elton John's second love child the first time I had seen the episode he came in.
Micheal Jackson's and Elton John's second love child? That's kind of hard to forget.
"Are you sure? How do you know?" Nami asked, momentarily forgetting the fact that I could see the future.
"Because I foresee another Micheal Jackson and Elton John Love child meeting them there, and this one is doing the moonwalk." I told her as we headed that way, kind of glad that I had a magical froggy bag to hold all the crap she had forced me to forced me to buy. If it weren't for the froggy bag, my arms would have already fallen off from the weight of the bags of clothes, and that would be painful.
"The moonwalk?"
"It's this weird dance humans do where they walk backwards." Lil said from her position on Choco's back as he walked along side me.
"Huh? I've never seen people dancing like that. How do you know about the moonwalk anyway if it's a human dance?" Nami asked, narrowing her eyes at me.
"Um... hehehe, we used to have a ball every year where people would come and dance from all over the world, but that was before the marines destroyed our island. Like I said before, I'm the last of my people." I lied, though I had almost fallen over in horror when she asked. I might be better at lying then I ever was back home, but that didn't mean I was used to having to keep up with one yet.
"Oh, is that how your parents met? You said your father was human right?" She asked, surprising me with how good her memory was.
"Oh, yeah, but it doesn't really matter now. Everything got destroyed, so it's pointless to bring it up." I said, silently wishing she didn't have such a good memory.
She was getting way to close to tarring apart my story, and I really didn't want that. If I was going to survive in this world, then it would be best if people thought I was from it.
"Oh, sorry." She said apologetically, thought it took me a few seconds to figure out why. "I didn't mean to bring something like that. Losing your home and family can be tough."
She seemed to be talking more about her self now then me, and knowing her past, she probably was.
"Don't worry, everything will be alright in the end." I said, catching her attention with my words. "Believe me, I know what I'm talking about."
We finished walking in silence, neither of us having anything else to say. It took us about ten minutes to get to where Zoro and two of the Usopp pirate kids where, and I was happy to see that I hadn't missed my chance to see the idiot hypnotist hypnotize himself.
"Hay guys!" I called, waving at them all as we came over to them.
"Huh? Do we know you?" The all asked in surprise, causing Lil and Nami to smirk, while causing my eye to start twitching again.
"Bamb!"
The two kids had gotten of thanks to a small technicality as they didn't really know me that well and therefor wouldn't be able to tell it was me.
Zoro, on the other hand, had gotten a mallet in his face for his stupidity, something that seemed to scare the shit out of the kids.
"Hi, Kaede-" He said as he fell back from the hit, proving that even dolled up I could still kick a guys ass.
"Good boy, now lick my shoes and I'll be happy." I said playfully as he lade twitching on the ground.
Nami simply rolled her eyes at my antics as Zoro stood up and glared at me, clearly planing on doing something that would probably leave me unable to move.
"So, where's Luffy?" She asked, cutting into the conversation before Zoro could hurt me.
My hero.
"And don't you dare try to cut her up when I've just gotten her to dress right!"
… Bitch.
"Ff." He said, turning to look away from her as he lade back down on the ground, clearly planning on taking a nap. "I think he went after that captain guy." He said, though his answer didn't seem adequate enough for the carrot top.
"And what's that supposed to mean?"
"He means Luffy ran after Usopp." I said, sitting down against a tree opposite of Zoro. "So, did Usopp hit the butler?" I asked, smiling evilly at them. I was really hoping he had, I wanted to know that the butler had gotten a small taste of what was going to happen to him soon. I might be a chicken, but I'm an evil chicken.
"Huh? How did you know about that?" Pepper asked, shocked that I had known about the fight even though I hadn't been there.
"Oh, she's a psychic." Nami said, before going into more detail. "She's also a Ctorl-Ctorl witch. Ctorl-Ctorl is her race. They're cat people, it's why she has the tail."
"A witch?!" The two kids yelled in surprise.
"It's Ctarl-Ctarl, learn to say it or just say I'm a cat girl!" I said in an annoyed voice while temporarily ignoring the kids question. It might not be my real race, but she could at least say it right since she thought it was real.
I started rubbing Choco's back as he sat down next to me, smiling when he fell asleep. "And yeah, I'm a witch, it's why Lil can talk."
"Yep, I'm her witch's familiar." Lil said, laying down on the grass on the opposite side of me as Choco.
"Wow! That's so cool!" the kids both said in unison again. Nice to know that kids thought it was cool.
"Ah!"
the voice came from a little ways down the road, and seemed to be getting closer and closer to us. Whoever it was, they were on their way to our spot, which probably meant that the weirdo love child was going to show up soon.
"Hay, it's onion!" Carrot and Pepper said as the little tan haired kid came running up the road.
"What's he yelling about?" Nami asked, wandering why he was so freaked out.
"Guys!" He said as he finally reached us, catching his breath before continuing. "There's a nut job on his way here and he only walks backwards!"
"You lier!" Carrot and Pepper said, rolling their eyes at him.
"No, he's the guy I mentioned before, the one that does the moonwalk." I said, catching Nami's attention. She really wanted to see this moonwalk I kept mentioning, having never even heard of something like it before.
It was just as she was about to open her mouth to speak that they weirdo finally showed up, moonwalking his way to us from the town.
"That's him!" Onion said, pointing at the guy off in the distance as he got closer and closer to us.
"Huh? That's the moonwalk?" Nami asked, wandering why anyone would do that in public. It was the worst dance she had ever seen and she was glad she had never gone to one of the parties, because she would have been traumatized for life.
Everyone stared at him as he slowly got closer and closer, all of us thinking the same thing.
'Weirdo'
"So," He said as he finally got right in front of us and turned to look at the three kids. "which one of you had the nerve to call me weird?"
Everyone blinked at him for a few seconds before our brains all started working again. I had been right when I had thought that seeing him in person would be much better then seeing him in the anime, but it was a lot more hilarious then I had thought it was going to be. No mater how close the anime was, it could never be as funny as this.
The guy was wearing a purple jumpsuit with gold and silver studs all over it. It was like Micheal Jackson rapped Elvis Presley, then gave the baby plastic surgery so that it looked like it was his and Elton John's baby instead of Elvis's. To say it was a funny sight would have been an understatement, and I wasn't able to keep myself from laughing my ass of when I saw him.
"Oh my god! Oh my god!" I said, grabbing my sides as I started rolling on the ground while laughing.
"What's with her?" Zoro asked, wandering if I was nuts or not.
"Beats me." Nami replied, wandering the same thing.
"Sorry, sorry." I said, getting up and dusting my self off once I finally had my laughter under control. "It's just that you look like a combination of these three guys back where I come from." I said, not really wanting to have to explain the whole 'Micheal Jackson rapping Elvis Presley" thing.
"And that's really that funny?" Zoro asked, still thinking I was crazy.
"Hey, if you knew about these three, you would think it's hilarious to." I said defensively as I dusted my self off. Rolling around on the ground was really bad for new clothes, something that Nami seemed to notice.
"Hay! If you've ruined those already, I'll kick your ass!" She said angrily, glaring at me.
'It ain't like they're yours anyway.' I thought, still trying to get the dirt off me.
"I don't think I look that funny, I'm just an ordinary, run of the mill, hypnotist." the weirdo said, still trying to do the moonwalk even though he was standing in place.
"A hypnotist?" Onion asked, perking up when he heard this.
"Awesome!" Pepper said, just as excited as Onion.
"Yeah! Show us something!" Carrot begged, again just as excited as his two brothers.
'Brats. You guys weren't that excited when you heard I was a witch!' I thought, annoyed at the fact that they didn't think being a witch was that awesome.
"Show you? I'm a master hypnotist and I'm not going to just show you what I can do just because you asked." He said as pulled out his stupid little ring on a string. "Alright, you've talked me into it! " he said as he started waving the little ring in front of the kids faces. "Now watch the ring closely. By the count of Jango you'll be in a deep sleep. Alright, are you read?"
The three kids nodded their heads at him while still watching the little ring, wandering if he was really going to hypnotize them.
"Alright. One, two, Jango!"
the moment the word left his mouth, he and the three kids hit the ground like a sack of bricks, past out thanks to his own hypnotizing abilities.
"Who is this freaky weirdo?!" Zoro asked, annoyed that the idiot had actually hypnotized himself.
About twenty minutes after Jango had hypnotized himself, the asshole butler showed up, glaring at us for a few minutes before waking the weirdo up.
"Jango, wake up." He said, kicking him slightly, not exactly something you would expect from someone who thinks so little of violence.
"Huh?" Jango asked stupidly as he sat up, only to jump to his feet when he saw who it was that was kicking him. "Sir!"
"Enough Jango, we're leaving." Kuro said, taking one last glaring look at all of us before leaving.
"What the hell was that about?" Zoro asked, wandering how the butler knew the 'Freaky weirdo' as he had dubbed him.
"Trust me, we'll find out later, but for now, let's get the kids up." I said, hopping up from my spot and walking over to the three little munchkins, all of whom were sleeping in one big pile, coudling up to each other to keep worm.
It was so cute I almost didn't want to wake them, but as I have said before, I'm not a big fan of cute.
"Get up brats, I think you've slept enough for one day." I said, grabbing my mallet and tapping each of them on the head, careful not to hit them to hard.
"Huh?" Carrot said as he sat up, wandering why he was sleeping in the middle of the road.
"What's going on?" Onion added, wandering the same thing as his brother.
"Why are we sleeping in the road?" Pepper asked, looking around in an attempt to find something that would tell him what was going on.
"You fell asleep in the middle of the road after an idiot weirdo hypnotized you." I explained, helping each of them up while leaving Choco to continue napping. He was a baby still, so he was aloud to sleep when he wanted to.
"What? Oh yeah!" They shouted, jumping up in surprise when they remembered what happened.
The three kids started looking around, wandering where the hypnotist went. They clearly wanted to see him hypnotize someone again, though they didn't seem to want him to do it to them again.
"If your looking for that freaky weirdo, that bastard butler and him took off a few minutes ago." Zoro said, laying down to take his own nap.
I was a little surprised that he hadn't started napping a while ago, in the anime he was always napping at every chance he could get.
"Huh?" Carrot asked, looking sad that he didn't get to see someone get hypnotized.
"He did?" Onion asked to, looking just as sad as his brother.
"Ah man! I wanted to see him hypnotize someone!" Pepper said, hanging his head in despair, mimicking his brothers moods.
After about twenty more minutes of Zoro napping and the kids playing, Pepper started to get worried.
"The captain's been gone for quite a while." He said, starting to get worried about Usopp.
"Yeah, Luffy two." Zoro said, wandering what could be keeping the two goof balls.
"He probably just needs some time." Onion said, thinking that Usopp was just a lot more upset then usual.
"Yeah, he always hangs out at the big cliff when he's this upset." Carrot said only to pause when he saw Usopp running toward us.
"Captain!" The three kids shouted when they saw him, catching everybody's attention.
Usopp was running as fast as he could clearly upset about something, though it was hard to tell what. If it wasn't for the fact that I already knew, I would have thought that he was just upset about whatever Kuro had said to him a while ago.
"Hey, I thought Luffy was supposed to be with him?" Zoro said when he realized that Luffy wasn't running with Usopp.
"No, I think Luffy fell down a cliff." I said, causing a snapping sound to range through the air as Zoro turned his head to me so fast that he popped his neck.
"What do you mean, 'down a cliff'?" He asked, wandering what I was talking about.
Usopp ran right past as at that moment, completely ignoring the three kids' shouts for him to stop as he did so. He was definitely upset about something, and it was most likely about what he had heard Kuro saying about Kaya.
"Yeah, I think I saw Luffy fall down a cliff, but I can't be sure if it was a dream or not. Visions sometimes seem that way." I lied, wishing that I hadn't said anything in the first place.
'Me and my big mouth.'
"What?!" Nami shouted in horror, thinking that Luffy could be dead.
"Hey, where's this cliff?" Zoro demanded, looking at the three kids and demanding to know where it was. He really didn't want to waist time if Luffy had really fallen down a cliff.
"It's this way, we'll show you!" The kids said, taking off as fast as their little legs could carry them.
"Choco, wake up, we're leaving." I called, causing the young chocobo to jump up and chase after us.
"Why the hell didn't you tell us about this before?!" Zoro demanded as we ran to the cliff, clearly ticked that I hadn't told them about it sooner.
"Like I said, I didn't know if it was a vision or a dream." I said, glaring at him for not hearing me the first time. If I said it already, then I should have to keep telling him.
"Damn it, next time you have a weird dream, tell us!" He ordered, causing me to glare at him.
'Oh no he didn't'
Finally reaching the cliff, all of us looked over the edge, only to see Luffy laying with his head in ground and his ass in the air. He had clearly fallen down and hand landed on his head.
"Oh no! Down there!" Nami yelled in horror, clearly thinking Luffy was dead.
"Luffy?" Zoro asked in shocked, surprised at seeing him dead.
"Hey!" Onion said in surprise.
"Down there!" Carrot added, just as surprised as his brother.
"It's the straw hat guy!" Pepper said, again just as surprised as his brothers.
"See! You should have told us!" Zoro said angrily, only to be ignored as I jumped down the cliff and onto some rock about half way down before jumping the rest of the way. (Choco was in my froggy bag, so I didn't have to worry about him following me.)
"Hey, don't you think you guys should get down here to?" I called out, looking up at them.
"Damn it! Don't ignore me when I'm talking to you!" Zoro shouted as he and Nami followed the three kids down a path and over to where me and Luffy were.
"Luffy! What did you do?" Nami asked once they were finally down the cliff. She clearly was in shock as she had just asked a dead man a question, though he wasn't really dead.
"I told you, he fell." I said, walking around him as the kids started poking him with sticks, clearly trying to figure out if he was really dead or not.
"I know that! But what I want to know is why he fell?!" She demanded angrily, wanting to know how Luffy had fallen off the cliff. I ignored her question as I was to busy staring at the kids.
Seeing the kids poking at Luffy gave me an incredibly evil idea, one that I knew I had to act on or I would forever regret it. Then again, I might regret it if I did act on it.
Calling attention to myself before anyone could find out that Luffy was alive, I calmly walked around his body, looking at it closely.
"You know, as a witch I do have the ability to bring the dead back to life." I said, making sure to keep my face as straight and serious as possible.
"What?!" Everyone said, shocked at hearing what I had just told them.
Glancing up once to make sure everyone was looking at me, I calmly walked over to Nami and asked her if i could barrow her staff for a moment.
"Can I use your stick for a second, it will make this work faster..." i said, making sure not to get to big a twinkle in my eye as I looked at the staff in question.
It took Nami only a second to decide. However, the look in her eyes and the smile on her face told me that quiet plainly i was going to regret this financially in the future.
"Sure, but remember, you owe me!" she stated with a huge smile on her face as she handed me the staff.
Smiling back i turned around and walked back toward Luffy's body, knowing that whatever she was going to force me to pay her would probably be worth it in the end.
Looking at the 'corps' I decided that I should probably make some stupid speech for dramatic purposes.
"Oh fallen one, come back to us, oh deceased one, hear us." i said while dancing around the sleeping... I mean the dead guy.
Once I had finished the stupid speech and was done dancing around his body, i promptly did the unthinkable, something that should never be attempted by mere mortals, something that no child should ever see....
I shoved it in his ass.
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