My Little Girl

Chapter 3

Meredith arrived at Izzie's room and saw that she was still asleep. Therefore, she decided to check her chart. She went to the end of the bed to grab it she looked down at it and her heart sank. Her blood pressure was too low, her ICP was too high, her red blood cells were off the charts, she was sleeping way too much, she was getting weaker...this was not good. Meredith looked at her friend and took a deep breath.

The end was close. How was she going to look at Alex and the others and tell them they only had precious days if not hours left with their always optimistic and loving friend. Meredith was not cut out for this...she always ran when things got tough or she turned to tequila. However, she was the new and improved Meredith and she had to stay there and face the pain...within herself and the others who would be left behind with her.

Izzie opened her eyes and smiled weakly at Meredith, the light not in her lovely brown eyes anymore. Between them, they shared a knowing look. Meredith breath caught as she realized her friend already knew what the chart said. She was going to die and no amount of intervention was going to help. Now all Izzie could hope for is that she wouldn't die alone as she had feared and that those who had loved her would move on as they should and not be too sad for long...that life would go on and that Izzie would always be with them in spirit.

Izzie patted the bed beside her and Mer sat down, took Iz hand in hers, and held it loosely while holding on to her emotions with a death grip. It would not help Iz if Mer got all weepy right now.

"Mer... I am not going to make it...I am going to die" Meredith opened her mouth to automatically protest but Izzie shook her head. "I know this Mer and so do you. I need you to do a favor for me."

" Anything." Mer said.

"I am worried about Alex...he has had so much happen to him in his life and I don't know if he will recover from this. He wants babies and i obviously can't carry them for him so I was wondering..." Izzie trailed off. How do you ask a friend to give up her life to birth a baby you will not be here to raise?

Izzie...' Mer shook her head. Was Izzie asking her...dark and twisty Meredith with the tragic childhood to willingly have a baby with her boyfriend?

"Mer, please. I know this is a lot to ask, but you are the only one I would trust to do this...I do not want a stranger carrying my child. You are my family. That being said, I understand if you do not want to. Just think about it." Izzie said, starting to gasp for air. Meredith reached up and adjusted the oxygen mask over her face.

Meredith sighed. Could she do this?

What about Alex? Does he know you are asking me to do this?"

" No. In addition, Alex is the second part of my request. Lead him through this Mer, guide him...do not let him wallow in self-pity and guilt. Take care of him for me. You two have this bond...he will need you." Izzie pleaded. That was most important to her...That Alex was going to be okay.

Meredith looked at the pain in Izzie's face and she knew that she could not refuse Izzie her last wish but then Alex had to agree as well.

"Izzie I will help you and Alex has a child but he needs to agree to this as well"

"Okay"

Meredith noticed how tried Izzie was looking just from this short conversation so she decided to say goodbye. Se left after kissing Izzie on the forehead.

Izzie stirred and whispered to Mer..." Send Alex in please."

" You need to rest Iz." Mer said.

"Mer you and i both know i am out of time. I cannot put this off.

Meredith hesitated. "Okay Iz." She agreed sighing.

Mer walked out of the room and shut the door quietly. She slowly fell down the wall to the floor and panted, trying to catch her breath. Her heart ached. She took several deep calming breaths and got back up. She quickly paged Alex and went to wait in the nearest on call room for him. A few minutes later, he came barreling in.

Thank God, i thought that patient would never shut up." He said in relief.

He stopped when he noticed her curled up in the fetal position.

"What's wrong? Is it Izzie?" He said panicked.

"Yeah...she wants to see you." Meredith said.

Alex sighed with relief. "Is that all? She wants to see me. I thought she had died with the way you look."

Meredith looked up at him meaningfully. "Alex..."

"No! Mer... Just no... She is going to be fine." He said, shaking his head violently.

Meredith sighed, "Okay. Just...she is waiting for you."

" Okay, i am going. No more of that dying talk Mer, it is counterproductive." He said, warningly. He left out of the room.

Meredith banged her head against the wall. He was going to hit bottom in just a few minutes. She prepared herself for the fallout and waited patiently for his return.

Alex arrived at Izzie room, and walked inside and was shocked at what he saw the love of his life was barely breathing anymore he had to look at the monitors to prove to himself that she was still alive. He moved silently to her side and placed a tender hand on her damp forehead. She opened her eyes and smiled...even that seemed to take a lot out of her.

"Alex." She croaked.

"No, don't talk Izzie...you need to rest right now. We will talk later." He said.
" I do not have later. I only have now." She said.

Alex felt his legs weaken and he sat down in the chair at her bedside.

"Alex, i am going to die." She said slowly and deliberately, watching her words sink in.

"No... NO! I will call your doctor...we will get you help." He said, panic feeling his tear filled eyes. He looked around furiously, his mind blanking on what to do in his grieving state.

"Alex. Sit down...please. I have to talk to you about what happens after i...after i am gone." She pleaded, her voice hoarse and dry.

"Gone? After you are 'gone', i am going to die with you. I can't live with out you, i have to have you."

" How about if you have a small part of me?" Izzie asked.

"What?" He said, confused.

"A baby Alex...our baby." She said, her eyes shining with emotion.

"Izzie are you...what are you talking about. If you are...how would that happen?" He asked.

Izzie took as deep of a breath as she could manage.

"I asked Mer to carry our child and she agreed...with a little arm-twisting on my part of course, this is Mer we are talking about." She joked weakly.

"You asked Mer to carry our baby...why?"

"I want...I need for you to have this. Please do this for me...please. I want to leave something behind that is good and beautiful."

Alex looked at her opened mouthed "Izzie I can't raise our child without I just can't please don't ask me too"

He had tears in his eyes that he tried to keep at bay.

"I can't deal with this right now I'm sorry and with that he turned and left the room and Izzie with rivers of tears running down her face."