Disclaimer: I own nothing associated with Glee.
A/N: So, because I feel bad for the length of time between updates, this chapter is unbeta'd in the interest of getting it posted as quickly as possible. It's essentially a filler chapter, which is more than likely why it was so difficult to write.
Also, this fic will be on a semi-kinda hiatus until the first part of June. It has absolutely and totally not been abandoned, I just have a crazy couple of weeks coming up with finals and going to Ireland with my mom. I will more than likely be writing while on my trip, so when I get back, the updates should return to their once-a-week status. (If not more frequently.) Thank you all for sticking with this fic for as long as you have! I appreciate it SO much!
The Plan That Actually Worked
Chapter Seventeen: Bad Dreams
The sun was blacked out. The sky was now almost pitch black, despite being bright only seconds before. The scene was blurred around the edges like damaged film. Sam was aware, somewhere in his mind, that he was dreaming, but the images playing out in front of him were still terrifying. In the dark gloom of the scene, Rory sat alone in the center of a dingy, empty room, his knees pulled up tight to his chest. Tears were flowing freely down his face. Even in the dim light, it was clear that the brunet was trembling. Sam wanted to run and comfort him but couldn't. He felt bound, trapped. Rory needed him, but there was nothing he could do. He was helpless. Rory's eyes darted fitfully around the room, searching. A quiet whimper escaped his lips, and he pulled his knees tighter to his chest before brokenly whispering, "Sammy."
Sam woke up with a start, sitting straight up in his bed. His pillow had managed to find its way to the floor and the blankets were destroyed. The only sheet that remained on the bed was the top sheet that was hopelessly tangled around his legs. He scrubbed his hand across his face, shaking his head sharply to try and dispel the nightmare. The same one he'd had for three nights. Always the same nightmare of Rory. Alone. Scared. The thought was too much. He just wanted to hold Rory in his arms and cling to him protectively as they slept. He knew that Rory could stand up for himself, but that did nothing to dissuade Sam's protective instinct.
Right now, it was hell. He'd had to go back to school and make the attempt to function normally while being stressed to the point of exhaustion. There were so many uncertainties about Rory being in Ireland by himself. Especially now. Every possible worst-case-scenario played itself out in Sam's head. He knew there was no way in hell he'd be able to get back to sleep. It was just like last night. And the night before. And the night before. Tonight, he finally caved. He had to hear Rory's voice. Even if it was just over the telephone. He needed to hear his voice and know that he was okay.
Sam eyed the clock and did a quick calculation. It was just after midnight in America, so it would be around 5:00 A.M. in Ireland. He was pretty sure that Rory wouldn't be awake, but he had to call anyway. He reached out and quickly dialed Rory's number, dropping himself back onto his pillow. The phone rang so many times that Sam was about to hang up, but just as he was about to pull the phone away from his ear it connected.
"H-Hello?" Rory's voice was groggy and mostly asleep. Sam suddenly felt a pang of guilt for waking him.
"Hey, baby," he said, relief flooding through him at just the sound of his boyfriend's voice.
"Sam? What—What's the matter? Is everything okay?" Rory's voice was more alert now.
Somewhere in the back of his mind, Sam realized that he probably should have started the call with a reassurance that everything was alright and that there was no reason for panic. He hadn't thought about the fact that normal people don't call anyone at five in the morning unless someone is either dead or on fire. "Yeah," Sam answered in what he hoped was a soothing voice. "I just..." he broke off, realizing now that he was completely awake that he was an eighteen year old man who was calling his boyfriend because he had a bad dream.
Rory's tone was concerned, carrying the air of 'I think my boyfriend has lost his mind'. "You just what, love?"
"I had a nightmare," Sam answered sheepishly, feeling like an idiot for waking Rory up. He scrubbed his hand across his face. "I-I just wanted to hear your voice. To make sure that you were okay."
"Oh, Sammy," Rory's voice was loving, the tone sending warmth through Sam. "I'm fine. Everything is fine here. I miss you so much, though." There was a rustling on Rory's end of the phone that sounded like he was sitting himself up in bed. "Why don't you tell me about your dream?"
"Okay, baby," he said softly, sighing. Talking to Rory made a sense of calm wash over the blond. He slid further under his blankets and slowly told Rory about his nightmare. As much as he didn't want Rory to worry about him, he felt the need to tell him everything, to have Rory listen and tell him that everything was going to be okay.
Rory listened in almost silence. Though Sam couldn't see, he knew that Rory was nodding along to what he heard. The image of his boyfriend's predictable response made him smile. When Sam finished, Rory sighed quietly. "God, I wish I was there. I hate that you're worrying about me."
"It's okay. Really. Just talking to you helped. I feel so much better."
"That's good," Rory said, quietly cheerful. "I love you, Sammy."
"I love you too, Rory. So much," Sam replied reverently.
Rory changed the subject, asking Sam about school. The blond sighed and recounted the events of his day. Rory didn't seem satisfied with the answer. "Sam," he chided softly. "You're making yourself miserable. You got along just fine at McKinley before I showed up, and I'm sure you can handle a few days without me."
"I know that I can. I just don't want to," Sam answered miserably. "Before you came to McKinley, I didn't know you." Sam was aware of how cheesy he sounded but continued anyway. Just because it was cheesy didn't mean it wasn't completely true. "Now that I've met you, I know what I'm missing when you're not there. It's not the same without you. It's like..." Sam trailed off searching for the right words. "I got spoiled being able to hold you until you fell asleep. Do you realize that Monday night was the first night in almost four months that I didn't to kiss you goodnight?"
"I know," Rory said affectionately. "It's hard to fall asleep without you next to me. It's like the bed is too big. Too empty."
"I know exactly what you mean," Sam sighed. "I wish you were here with me."
"I wish I was there, too," Rory sighed wistfully. Sam yawned loudly. Rory's voice, calm and soft, was pulling him back toward unconsciousness. The Irish teen laughed fondly at the sound. "Go back to sleep, Sammy."
"Rory?" Sam asked quietly.
"What is it, love?"
"Will you sing to me?"
Rory chuckled softly. "Of course I will."
Sam willed himself to stay awake as Rory quietly sang the first song they'd ever performed together, their song. The blond's body relaxed as the subtly passionate lyrics of Hallelujah filled his mind. A soft smile spread across his face as his eyes fluttered closed. The song drifted to its end and Sam sighed contentedly. "Love you, Rory," he mumbled sleepily.
Rory's quiet voice was bright. "I love you, too, Sam. Goodnight. Sleep well."
"'Night, Rory."
Sam had no more than hung up before he fell asleep, feeling more peaceful than he had in almost a week.
-xXxXx-
The next day at school was just as miserable as the past few days had been. Classes dragged on. The only highlight of the entire day was glee. Sam had been so worried that he'd been pretty much out of commission all day. He'd walked into the choir room and dropped down heavily into one of the hard plastic chairs next to Kurt. The blue eyed boy looked away from Blaine when he felt Sam's presence, his face screwing up in concern. "What's the matter, Sam? Do you miss Rory?"
Sam's answering scowl told Kurt that his question had been stupid.
Kurt smiled kindly and patted Sam on the knee. "Maybe it would make it easier if you vented a little."
The blond looked up from his lap and met Kurt's friendly eyes. Blaine nodded in agreement behind his boyfriend.
Sam considered the idea briefly before nodding once. He picked up his guitar from where it sat next to him and stepped to the front of the choir room. All eyes in the room settled on him as he shifted uncomfortably. He felt awkward standing in front of a group of people, but he pushed it aside. "Hey, everybody. I know I don't usually do this, but...um...I've sorta been having a hard time with Rory being gone, so I was wondering, if it's okay, maybe I could sing a song that always reminds me of him."
"Of course, Sam!" Mr. Schuester's voice was bright, pleased that someone other than Rachel was stepping up to sing.
The blond smiled in response before putting the guitar strap over his shoulder and beginning to play.
Breathe in for luck,
breathe in so deep,
this air is blessed,
you share with me.
This night is wild,
so calm and dull,
these hearts they race,
from self control.
Your legs are smooth,
as they graze mine,
we're doing fine,
we're doing nothing at all.
Sam's eyes were closed as he played, a million memories flooding through his mind. Holding Rory as he slept. Having to quickly put all his clothes back on and sneak out of Rory's window when they'd been a little too loud and woken up Mrs. Pierce during one of their nights together. Sam had barely made it out the window before she came bursting through the door.
Hands down this is the best day I can ever remember,
I'll always remember the sound of the stereo,
the dim of the soft lights,
the scent of your hair that you twirled in your fingers
and the time on the clock when we realized it's so late
and this walk that we shared together.
The streets were wet
and the gate was locked so I jumped it,
and I let you in.
And you stood at your door with your hands on my waist
and you kissed me like you meant it.
And I knew that you meant it,
that you meant it,
that you meant it,
and I knew,
that you meant it,
that you meant it.
Sam opened his eyes as he finished singing. He was pleased to be met by friendly, sympathetic smiles. He realized by the way that Kurt was holding his phone that he'd been recording the performance. His cheeks flushed lightly, but he tried to ignore the embarrassment and allow himself to be comforted by the friends who were coming to hug him. Kurt smiled widely as he sent the video to Rory.
-xXxXx-
Sam hadn't been able to talk to Rory at all that day. Rory had sent him a quick text message saying that he was going to be busy with Seamus' doctors appointments and helping his mother look for an apartment, so he wouldn't be able to use his phone much. Sam had huffed and pouted, but he knew it was a hopeless cause.
As the night approached, Sam's miserable mood was beginning to settle in again. He'd passed on dinner in favor of just shutting himself in his bedroom and wallowing in self-pity for awhile. He settled into bed, preparing himself for another less-than-restful sleep. He just hoped he'd fall asleep quickly. He didn't want to let his mind linger on the worry he felt over not talking to Rory. Worry over Rory being an ocean away where anything could happen and there would be nothing Sam could do to stop it. Yeah, he didn't want to think about that. He buried his face in the pillow and squeezed his eyes shut tightly, willing himself into unconsciousness.
When he woke up, he was too warm. His sleep-fogged mind wanted to curse whoever turned up the heat, but something in his body recognized that the source of the warmth wasn't radiating from a register. It was much closer. Against his side. His eyelids dragged open to meet a pair of sparkling blue eyes. "Good morning, Sammy."
A/N: The song in this chapter is "Hands Down" by Dashboard Confessional. Reviews are always appreciated! :)