Through the Veil. Chapter 2
A/N: Sorry for the long wait guys! I still haven't planned anything other than this. I think I might wing it; that way I can take suggestions for what you guys want. So if you want anything to happen, just send in a review and I'll definitely think about it. Thanks guys, love ya!
An uneventful week dragged on by. When would summer get here? Oh yeah, it was only the second marking period and it was a Monday. Wonderful. As I was saying before I interrupted myself, a week passed and nothing really exciting happened. I had a few tests which I, of course, failed. Arthur shook his head in disappointment at the results of my test. I thought it was endearing that he did that. To me, it meant that he either knew I could do better or that he wanted me to do better.
I am sitting in my second period class. Damn it's boring. Who cares about dumb old chemicals? The only fun thing in this class is labs when we actually get to mix chemicals together and watch it do freaky things. Unfortunately, there was no lab for today and I really had to pee. I tried to wait as long as I could to get the notes but when my eyes swam with yellow liquid; I knew I couldn't wait any longer.
I quickly signed out and raced heroically down the hall to the nearest bathroom. I didn't even wait to get into the bathroom before I pulled my fly down. Luckily, no one else was nearby. I burst into the bathroom, whipped out Good Old Florida and drained that son of a bitch. After I had finished, I took my good old time walking back to the class room. Did I ever mention how much I hate school? It's so boring. When am I ever going to need to know how certain chemicals react? Or know how to identify a person's child by a blood sample? I can answer that question: never!
To take my mind off class and school as I walked back to class I thought about my plans for the next few days. Again, nothing too exciting. Looks like it will be just me and Tony and my gaming system for a while.
While I was thinking about the next game I should buy, the sound of taunting laughter shattered my thought. Being a hero, I can easily tell when anyone is getting bullied. Arthur says I'm just being ridiculous when I tell him my 'Hero senses are tingling' but 99% of the time, I'm right.
I follow the sound of the laughter to a different hallway. Score one for me; I am correct yet again. Three big guys have one average built guy pressed against the lockers. I instantly recognize the kid as Toris; some Lithuanian kid who recently came out of the closet, if you know what I mean.
I didn't really know the kid but ever since he came out; I started to admire him. Not like a secret admirer or anything; I am loyal to Arthur. I respected him and, in a way, was jealous of him for having the guts to come out. I know he used to get teased before by that commie, Ivan but as far as I knew, he never really got beat up.
Looks like the kid might now. Ivan wasn't part of the group of guys. Actually, the hallway was barren except for the four boys and myself, peaking from around the corner. I didn't recognize any of the boys picking on Toris but judging by their expressions, they looked vicious.
My hero senses kicked in. I puffed out my chest and prepared to go into the hallway when I finally heard their conversation. I stopped dead in my tracks. Toris had big tears in the corner of his eyes and was trembling in fright. The poor kid was always picked on and yet he was one of the nicest people I know. He may be quiet but he is polite. He is always nice to people, even the Russian commie who teases him practically every day. He doesn't deserve to be picked on; he never did anything to anyone yet he is anyway just because he is gay. It's completely cruel and unfair.
"What? Are you going to cry?" one of the boys ridiculed. A chorus of laughter escaped the boys. Toris desperately tried to blink the tears out of his eyes. Despite his efforts to appear strong, he still appeared weak and gave the boys the satisfaction they craved for. It was heartbreaking to see the boy like that. I wanted to help him so bad that it hurt.
"Isn't your boyfriend here to save you?" the one teased. He leaned down so that he was just inches away from Toris' face. The poor guy leaned as far back as he could in the limited space, his eyes wide in fear. When he stayed silent the boy gripped his shirt by the collar, lifted him away from the lockers and slammed him back into it. Despite his hardest efforts to not show his pain, Toris cringed painfully as the metal locks digging into his spine.
"Answer me when I talk to you!" the boy growled. Toris gulped; his body visibly trembling.
"I-I-I d-d-don't h-hav-ve a-a b-boyf-friend!" the Lithuanian stammered. The poor guy was shaking like a leaf and could hardly speak but I was also rooted to the spot. I wanted to run in and help him but it felt as though my feet were cemented into the ground.
The boys all smirked and a deep chortle floated through the air, "That's right. And you know why?" he purred.
Toris was silent for a few moments before he stammered again, "W-w-why?"
The boys laughed. "Because you're a freak! No other boy could ever like you! It's against nature to be gay!"
Toris shook his head and closed his eyes. He obviously didn't want to hear what they had to say. Their words hit their mark; not only on Toris, but on me. What if I am a freak? What if no one will like me and I'll be alone all my life? What if I tell Arthur that I liked him and he hates me for being a freak; for having feelings for another man? Not only would I lose the person I loved, but I would lose my best friend. I stumbled back a few steps. My chest deflated and I lost all desire to be a hero.
Toris glanced over and his eyes met mine. He didn't say anything; he didn't have to. His eyes begged me to come over and save him. I had done it plenty of times before. I hated the Russian who picked on him and I helped him often, winning yet another battle in 'Cold War II' as I liked to call it. This time, I knew I couldn't save him though. I felt a strong urge to get up and run, to get as far away as I could. Yet, despite all this, my mind wasn't made up. At least not yet.
"Don't look away. You know it's true. You're a freak. No one loves you. No one ever loved you. You're just a burden and you poison the human race. You're useless and worthless and better off dead!" the boy spat in Toris' face. I couldn't take any more of their words. His words were horrible. A person didn't deserve death just because they were gay. It's not like they chose to be that way. It's like that saying "It's in your DNA, you're gay"…at least it's that way for me. I'm sure there are people who feel differently. These boys were obviously different. They didn't see the cruelty to their words; the unfairness and their blindness. They had spoken my worst fears aloud. My whole body quivered and broke into a sweat. I didn't even notice when I turned around and ran back to my class.
The entire time in class, I couldn't focus. The boy's words kept reverberating through my head. I had left poor Toris there all alone. It was bad enough for me to hear those words but what if it had been me and they said those things to my face? More importantly, what did they do to the poor Lithuanian after that? Did they beat him up? Ridicule him more? Make him feel so dirty and unnatural that he was considering killing himself. I heard Kiku read off some stats one time; Lithuania had the highest suicide rate. I could never forgive them and myself if Toris did anything.
Oh God...what if Toris really did do suicide? I might have been able to prevent it if I haven't been such a baby and ran away. Whatever happened to being a hero? To defending those who needed help the most? As much as I hated to say it, I had been selfish. Toris needed more help than I did yet I ran away. He looked at me, haven't said my name or brought me to the others attentions, and silently begged for help. How could I say no? How could I turn around and run away like I had seen nothing while he was begging for someone-anyone- to come help him. He was desperately hoping someone would to prove those boys words wrong. Yet no one probably helped, not even the schools 'hero'. I might not have slammed him against the lockers or said those words but to Toris I had agreed to those words and left him alone; proving that no one loved him.
All my guilt pooled in my stomach, angrily pounding its way up to my throat. I gagged a little in my mouth and felt the urge to get sick. I knew I wouldn't but it didn't make my stomach feel any better.
The thoughts plaguing my mind wouldn't leave. Even several trips to the bathroom wouldn't help. Luckily, I didn't see Toris any more today but that didn't make me feel any better or worse. I doubt I would have been able to stand seeing him again but I knew I'd have to do it eventually. It was inevitable.
By the time lunch rolled around, my stomach protested at any thought of food. I set my bag on the empty table and laid my head on my bag. My eyelids felt so heavy. Maybe if I close them and take a nap, I'll wake up and discover everything was just a dream. Unfortunately, Arthur walked over to the table just as I had started to drift into a light sleep.
"Hey fatass, why are you napping on the table? I'm not cleaning up your drool." he teased, setting his bag on the table.
I sit up and rub my eyes and mouth. I look up at the Brit and quickly revert my eyes. The boy's words echoed through my skull, calling people like me a freak. I couldn't stand to look at Arthur. As much as I loved his emerald eyes or his bushy eyebrows or even his mouth that constantly frowned, I couldn't look; it was much too painful to think of. To think of them all looking at me negatively, eyes dark with hatred, eyebrows furrowed in disgust and his mouth tugged in a frown, for coming out and telling him that I liked him was too hurtful to think about. I cared about him too much to jeopardize our friendship for an even deeper relationship.
"Hey," Arthurs tone was much softer, "Is something wrong?"
I was surprise by his tone. I had never heard it before and for him to be so kind to me was completely new. I shake my head and force myself to look up. I know I'm not a hero now but I still feel that need to keep Arthur from worrying.
"No. I'm just tired." a tired grin is forced on my face. "I stayed up too late...studying."
"Studying?" Arthur asks, raising a thick eyebrow. What the hell did I say studying for? Not even I believe that lie.
I let out an exasperated sigh. Thankfully, I'm American so I am an excellent actor, "I was playing video games with Tony again. We didn't get to bed until one."
Arthur buys that story. He rolls his eyes. "Alfred, how many times have I told you that you need sleep and that aliens don't exist."
"One, I had coffee," I tell him, "And two, aliens totally exist. You belief all that weird magic and fairies and unicorn shit but you don't believe in aliens?"
Arthur sighed. "Coffee is not a substitute for sleep like you bloody Americans seem to thing," and with that statement, my brain stops thinking since he launches into a long discussion about why fairies, unicorns and magic is real. Normally, I would attempt to pay attention but I'm just not in the mood today.
He must notice that I'm not planning to get lunch but doesn't say anything. It's odd for me to act this way and Arthur must be worried. I work up a smile and laugh at his reasons for why fairies, unicorns and magic exist. I didn't hear it, as I had said earlier but in the long years of our friendship, I had received this speech multiple times and it seldom changed.
"Whatever you say, Artie. I still don't believe they're real." I chuckled. Arthur rolled his eyes.
"Whatever. I don't need to prove them to you." he got up to get his food as the others started to sit down and start talking. Gilbert and Francis, of course, started bragging about their 'awesome sex' they had. I lost any trace of an appetite that I had. Mattie and Elizabetha ignored them and talked quietly to each other. Kiku silently read his book, insisting that he read it twice for the finals months away. No wonder the kid gets straight A's.
Everyone was too preoccupied to notice my lack of food or 'heroic energy'. I'm not complaining by any means. It feels nice to have some peace and quiet. I laid my head on my bag and closed my eyes once again. I was almost asleep when Arthur slammed his tray on the table.
"You Americans need to learn your manners! You're so bloody rude; always shoving and pushing and cutting in line!" Arthur ranted as he sat down.
"Oi!" Gilbert retorted. "I'm Prussian, thank you very much!"
"And I am French; I am born with manners!" Francis added, tossing his curly golden hair behind his back.
"Yeah right! If that were true, you would have thanked your mother for giving birth to you as soon as you were born." Elizabetha snapped playfully, "And I'm Hungarian!"
Ignoring Francis' comment that went somewhere along the lines of, "Nonsense! I thanked her for squeezing my beautiful body out of her vagina." Mattie quietly mumbled about being Canadian. Kiku was too engrossed in his book to proclaim his Japanese heritage. I was the only 'American' here. I don't know how we have so many people from different countries in our school or how they seem to all sit at our table but the nickname for our table is the 'United Nations'.
I find myself getting pulled out of my bad mood as my friends start arguing. I smile to myself; I can always trust my friends to inadvertently cheer me up. I might be a freak to everyone else but to them, I will always be the same person. I think about poor Toris again and I pray that he has friends like mine to help him and love him.
I join in the conversation shortly and I can feel Arthur's eyes on me near the end of lunch. I know he's been worried and that he just checking to see of if I was acting or not. It was touching that he cared. All too soon, the bell rang and I got up. After saying bye to everyone, I walked down the hallway with Arthur.
"Ok Alfred, what's up with you and don't lie to me." Arthur demanded, looking at me with an unwavering stare. It's as though he can see right through everything I tell him; like I'm completely exposed. I flinch away from his prying eyes and look ahead.
"Nothing's wrong." I tell him.
"Liar. I told you not to lie to me!" Arthur snapped. His state intensified and I could feel my body starting to heat up. My heart thumped hard against my chest in the way only Arthur could.
"I don't want to talk about it, okay. Just drop it." I tell him. Arthur was silent for a moment before nodding quietly.
"If you change your mind, I'm here." Arthur said. I smile softly and nod. I know I'm lucky to have a friend like Arthur. I want so much more from him. I want him to love me the way I love him. I want to hold his hand and be able to kiss him. I want to be the first person he thinks of when he wakes up and the last person he thinks of before he goes to bed. I want to make him feel beautiful and wonderful and I want him to be happy. That's why we can never do those things. Most of all I want him to be happy. But seeing what those boys did to Toris made me think. The same thing would happen to Arthur. I never want him to get picked on or hurt. Especially because of me.
So I guess I'm in love with someone I can never have yet I can't ignore my feelings. I love him too much to just let him go, yet I love him too much to let him get hurt.