"I'm tired of pretending."
Those words made their way through Ziva's head for the tenth time. It was impossible to sleep with that on her mind. It had happened over a year ago, but they still haunted her. What had he meant by pretending?
They pretended, all the time. They pretended that they hated each other. They pretended that nothing happened in Paris. They pretended that they did not have feelings for each other. They pretended a million things. It was too hard to pinpoint what DiNozzo had meant.
He could have meant something else, too. Pretending that they liked Vance. Pretending they didn't have opinions. There was something in Tony's eyes, though, that made her think he was talking about their relationship. After all, they had just gotten into a spat like an old married couple.
Ziva finally got out of her bed, her cotton nightgown reaching a little below her thigh. Her hair was frizzy and unkempt. It was going to be a mess to tame in the morning.
She got onto her computer and started going through case files on the NCIS database. This somehow calmed her. She would sometimes select a case to mentally analyze and then report to the director and tell him what she thought. He was sometimes appreciative, other times he looked about as thrilled as a baby who had just been given a shot.
This time, though, it was different. It was a distraction from what was really on Ziva's mind. She couldn't admit to herself that she loved Tony. After Paris, there was a greater spark between them that could explode into a firework. Their relationship was a skyscraper. It got bigger and taller of a period of time.
Ziva kept on having images of her and Tony in her mind. Having a child. Their wedding, their honeymoon. Growing old together and griping about youngsters.
Then it hit her. It hit her like a basketball. She wanted Tony. She wanted him badly. There was only one way that they could be together, though. In the comfort of their separate homes and minds.
David found a picture of Tony on the NCIS database, printed it off and kissed it. Tomorrow was a brand new day. But nobody said it wasn't sucky.
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