Notes: Here we are again. I promise that this is the last chapter with no Blaine or Warblers in it, so stick with me a little more! Special thanks to Disney's Darling, Nikki and Waffles of Doom for the reviews, I'm sooo happy you liked it!
Enjoy!
"People die of common sense. One lost moment at a time. Life is a moment. There is no hereafter. So make it burn always with the hardest flame."
Every important thing he needed to know about life, Sebastian learned it in Paris.
He learnt how to properly french kiss, how to speak french, how to appreciate the beautiful things like good art and good music, and good drinks...but the most important, the one he will remember forever, is probably the art of saying yes.
"Come on Sebastian!" the boy screams at him, with a huge, daring smile plastered across his face "What other chances you think you might get?"
Sebastian stares at the river that runs under the bridge. It's too far. They're too high. He looks back at the boy.
"I could kill myself you know that?"
"What's he point of being alive if the fear of dying keeps you from living?"
I don't want to die. Sebastian thinks. But he jumps anyway.
When his body collides with the cold water, it's like he had been electrocuted, leaving tingles running through every muscle. The jolt of adrenaline is like something he has never felt before, and all he can think of is how he would have regretted it if he had never jumped of that bridge.
"You've got balls, kid!" the boy beams at him, perched over the railings of the bridge "Welcome to the world of the living!"
.
Everything about Paris is beautiful, and Sebastian just knows that this is the place where he was meant to be. Paris is nothing like Texas, but sometimes, Sebastian still has a hard time remembering it.
"Why on earth did you say no?" Mikael asks, as he slides next to him on the barstool "That was one hell of a handsome guy."
Sebastian's french is not very good yet, but Mikael has learnt to understand him even when he speaks like Tarzan.
"He didn't look gay" he says, struggling to find the right words despite the fear that's still lurking in the pit of his stomach "I think it was a trap"
The confused look on Mikael's ridiculously handsome features makes Sebastian think that maybe he mixed up the words.
"You have to forget about that" the blond boy says finally "You're not in America anymore, Seb. This is a different place."
This is a different place indeed, but Sebastian still has a scar just above his ribcage from the time when he picked up a guy from a bar just to realize that he was there to beat up the first stupid fag that fell on his trap.
Mikael buys him another drink, and he leads him through all the bar until they find the guy who Sebastian rejected.
"My friend would like to apologize" Mikael says, with a lopsided grin "And I'd like to help, if you don't mind."
Sebastian has done enough kinky stuff already, but a threesome is something he had never thought about before.
He says yes, and the sparkle in the other boy's eyes, and the proud look on Mikael's face, make him a little more fearless.
Mikael's lips are the softest Sebastian has ever kissed, and Jean is surprisingly skilled with his tongue. Both boys centre all their attention on Sebastian, like he's something precious that must be treated in the best of ways. He's encircled by arms and legs, and hands caress his hair and his torso and slide down between his legs, and something hard pushes into him from behind, and his moans mix with the soft whispers and exclamations, and looks of adoration and Oh, you're so, so beautiful
Sebastian has never felt more beautiful than right here, right now.
.
The bar is bursting with electronic music and people are dancing and grinding against each other and the heat is rising so fast that Sebastian can barely breath as Mikael drags him across the packed dance floor and pushes him through the back door.
Sebastian has spent a lot of time on back alleys, but this is not what he expected to find.
"Dieu, Mikael, you didn't tell us he was this hot!"
The most beautiful girl Sebastian has ever seen walks up him and plants a small kiss on his lips.
"I'm Corie" she says, with reddened crystal blue eyes fixed on him "Come, we saved some for you two."
Sebastian has smoked before. Weed is fine. But he can't help but stare paralyzed as a guy named Thierry extends his hand to him, palm open, and he's faced with a small thin like of white powder.
"You have never tried coke before?" he asks with a smirk "Are you scared?"
Thierry is not like Mikael. Thierry's eyes are hard and his smirk is mocking and Sebastian can't stand him. So he sniffs the coke from his hand, and, as the world spins around them and they laugh and fall and rise, he kisses him.
His senses are heightened, the smell of alcohol mixed with sweat and drugs and cologne, and Corie's perfum. The sounds of Corie's cheers and Mikael's whistles and the feeling of Thierry's tongue across his lips and his hands in his hair.
He feels everything like it's the last time he's going to feel. The world is suddenly bursting with colors and sounds and everything is more amazing than he has ever imagined.
Thierry spins around, faster every time, until he suddenly comes to a stop, facing Sebastian directly, and, raising his arm, he points at him.
"You are going to be awesome" he says, like he knows.
Sebastian doesn't fear anything anymore.
.
Thierry is different than Mikael in many ways.
Mikael is sweet and lovable, and good. The best person Sebastian's ever met, probably. And Thierry...Thierry is a little sour and a little harsh and a little bit too honest, and he has this philosophy, this way of living, that makes Sebastian want to know more.
Thierry is not gay, but he doesn't seem to care too much about that.
"It doesn't matter who you fuck" Thierry explains one day, as they are all high and drunk, laying on the grass "It only matters that you fuck."
And it makes sense, actually.
"Life is all about that. Pleasure is the only thing that keeps us going, and those who deny themselves pleasure, well, they are miserable."
"And that's just how it is" Corie adds, trying to imitate Thierry's solemn tone, but bursting out laughing in the end.
Sebastian laughs, he laughs so hard his stomach starts to hurt, and, suddenly, his father's words come to his mind. You might look beautiful on the outside but on the inside you're sick, you're corrupted.
His laugh dies, and he glances at Thierry, Corie and Mikael, who are still laughing, with beautiful eyes sparkling with joy and beautiful smiles filled with carelessness, and, for the first time, realizes that his father was wrong. He was wrong. This is perfect, this is beautiful. There's nothing corrupted or sick about this.
There's nothing corrupted or sick about him.
For the first time in a long time, he feels like he can breath.
"What's wrong with you?" Thierry asks suddenly, staring directly at him "You look like you've had a revelation"
"I think I have, actually" Sebastian answers, incapable of holding back a smile "I think I finally understand...this."
Thierry smiles at him.
"It's easy" he says, passing the joint to Sebastian "Just do whatever you want, whenever you want, because maybe you won't get another chance."
"Don't always listen to him" Mikael warns with a laugh "Thierry has some messed up morals"
I want to live that way. Sebastian thinks. I don't want to die ugly and old, realizing that I let my life pass me by.
.
Sebastian has never run so fast.
The screams that follow them start to sound farther and farther until they die completely, and all he can hear is Thierry's ragged breathing and his own pants as they come to a stop.
"God" he whispers, at a loss of a better thing to say.
Oh my God.
Thierry just bursts out laughing.
"Dieu! That was the most amazing thing ever!"
Sebastian looks back. He can barely see the top of the Eiffel tower from here, and it only makes him realize just how far they have run.
"We did it" he whispers, still incredulous "We snuck into the Eiffel tower at three in the morning"
Thierry shrugs and smiles at him.
"You said you wanted to see all of Paris in the middle of the night"
"Yeah but..."
Thierry walks up to him and presses one finger to his lips, silencing him. Black eyes find Sebastian's, and he's incapable of looking away.
"Never let anyone tell you that you can't do, or have what you want"
Sebastian doesn't know much about love, but he thinks what he feels right now could be pretty damn close.
.
With time, he forgets what it was to be afraid, to be angry, and to feel numb. Paris has this thing, this magic, and it makes him let go of everything that was holding him back, until he has nothing.
It's like he's born again.
Paris taught him that, no matter what anyone said, there's nothing wrong with him.
But, as Sebastian has come to accept, when something is too good to be true, it is probably a lie.