Title: The Sun's In My Heart
Pairing: Jade/Tori
Rating: R
Length: 11, 300
Spoilers: Tori & Jade's Play Date
Summary: Desperate to get out of the house, Tori spends part of her spring break with Jade.
Warning: Underage drinking, drug use, swearing, sex.
Part Three
"Do you like sex?" Lia's reputation hadn't been all that sordid as far as Tori could tell, but she knew enough to know that the blonde probably wouldn't be starting any abstinence groups any time soon. It had been almost two weeks since Tori had first called Lia to hang out after school and she hadn't spent a day without talking to the other girl for at least two hours since then. That lazy Tuesday afternoon, they had been lying on Lia's now-familiar bedroom floor after having finished their homework.
"I have enjoyed it, yes. Depends on the person." She looked so poised despite clearly being perfectly content, and Tori had the desperate urge to spring up from the plush rug they were laying on and grab one of Lia's expensive camera's to start and impromptu photo shoot. Lia's whole room seemed set up for that any moment anyway, large with differently, yet somehow, collectively-styled areas. "I didn't really enjoy my first time. But it was sweet."
"How old were you?" Tori asked as she allowed herself to stare at the blonde openly for a minute while she couldn't see her.
"I had just turned fifteen earlier that month. It was the night before we moved from Cambridge and with the boy I had been dating for a year. We were star-crossed lovers in my mind, so I found it all terribly romantic." Lia smiled, her eyes still closed. "I hear he has a second child on the way now."
Tori snorted, hands flying up to immediately cover her face after she did. She glanced through her fingers to find found Lia staring back at her with half-lidded eyes and an amused smile. "So, when have you enjoyed it?"
"Well, I can tell you about the one-time thing I had with a boy from the 'old country,' as my father calls it." Lia turned onto her side and held her head in her hand, gaze thoughtful and smile nostalgic as she spoke. "Paulo. You should have seen him. He was just so… European. Gorgeous lips, dark hair and eyes, couldn't speak a lick of English. It was wonderful. Like having a piece of home in America that I didn't have to find on the BBC. He and his family were mostly farmers, but one of the daughters had won a scholarship or something of the sort. Whatever the reason, thank god for publicity stunts because my father always feels obligated to go with his job and the Italian Embassy is a big fan of renting out mansions for them."
Lia's free hand had begun to idly twist the hem of Tori's shirt around one of her fingers as she spoke. "I found him in this old study in an off-limits area of the house. We spoke a little; I know some Italian, but I'm by no means fluent. Anyway, it ended up with us on the couch and me in his lap. And, let me tell you, he must be a popular boy in the village back home."
Tori caught Lia's hand in her own, twisting and pulling with her long, sun-kissed fingers as she laughed again. "How Nicholas Sparks of you. Have you ever regretted having sex with someone?"
"Oh, heavens, yes. One of the five – yes, five, put that eyebrow back down – was a total and complete mistake. Like, sleeping with a dear friend's recent ex kind of bad." She intertwined her hand with Tori's and brought the other's girl's wrist up to her mouth to kiss it, her smile still strong. "But you live and learn, I suppose."
Tori smiled in return but then adverted her eyes to their hands. "Did you have to, like, officially come out to your dad as bi, or whatever?"
"Well, I did. But I don't think it was in the official rulebook for being gay, if that's what you're asking." Lia leaned in closely for a moment, her next tease whispered, "But between you and me, I've only glanced through the thing."
"God," Tori groaned, her face red. "I must sound like an idiot."
"Have you decided, then? To join those of us who don't discriminate?" A blonde eyebrow arched as Tori's hand was placed back onto her own stomach and let go.
"I don't know what I want," Tori repeated for what seemed like the hundredth time in the past three weeks.
"Well, there's no rush to find out, so don't overthink it. The choice will be clear when you get to it." It had felt weird to Tori, to be around someone who seemed so rational. Who always knew what to say to put her at ease no matter the situation. "Could I ask you something, Tori?"
Tori blinked in surprise. "Of course."
"Do you mind if I ask just how did you and Jade ended up… being you and Jade, exactly?" Lia asked, not unkindly. She had been good about distracting Tori from the subject, but she supposed even this girl, who she barely knew two weeks ago, could even see what an odd couple they made. "I mean, I adore her, I do so don't laugh, but I was brought up with the a British stiff upper lip, so I think it's fantastic that she's not backward in coming forward. It just doesn't seem like that would be the kind of thing you'd be appealed to."
"You're gonna laugh, but our first kiss – which was the first time I ever thought about kissing her, by the way – happened after we finished singing and dancing in the rain one night. And it was... it was nice. Nicer than I would have thought it could be with Jade, anyway." Tori let out a reluctant breath and her own strained laugh. It was the first time she had really talked about her and Jade in any kind of real detail and it had made her throat tighten. "So close to our own bad romance movie."
"I think that sounds lovely." Lia's face had even been sincere without her usual smile because her deep blue eyes remained soft and sweet. Her hand came up to brush Tori's bangs back, fingers remaining at the brunette's hairline for an instant and then ghosting down her jaw. "And lovely moments make life worthwhile."
"Do you want me?" Tori whispered, unaware the question had even been on her mind. She wasn't blind to Lia, with all her affection and experience and beauty, but she knew that the blonde had been waiting for her to make the first move even if she was the one making the advancements. "I mean… do you want me?"
Lia's smile returned, her thumb stroking along Tori's jaw softly. "Tori Vega, would you like to go out with me this evening?"
"On a date?" Tori's voice had been meek but clear. She hadn't been expecting that.
"A date," the European girl confirmed. "If you're comfortable with that. And, if you're not I won't be offended. Though, I may have to ask you to stop letting me hold your hand if you decline."
Tori looked up at Lia; tried to think of her as a girl from her Physics class, rather than the girl she had met through Jade. It was hard to avert the questions that had been nagging her about her and Jade's potential relationship to the blonde when she was so not Jade West. It was even harder to clear her mind and consider whether she even wanted to date anyone at that moment, let alone another female. "Could we go somewhere quiet?"
Going on dates had always been easy for Tori; it was rarely hard for her to make conversation with anyone other than Jade. Or Cat. Her best strategy had always been to take the pressure off everything and act like she was just going out with a friend; which all turned out to be easy to do with Lia and her ability to turn everything into a joke. She took Tori to a double feature in West Hollywood, an old theater with classic movies and the good kind of popcorn. It was easier, after making it through a movie and a half, to try to see what her hand felt like when it held Lia's. Lia had looked over at her in darkness, fingers intertwining with Tori's and not letting go until they reached her car.
"I do." Tori jumped in her seat. The car had been stopped in front of her house for more than a minute before either of them spoke, and when Lia did, Tori was lost.
"You… do?"
"I want you," Lia clarified with a charming laugh. "But I'd like you to want me, too. And, I'd very much like to see you more where other people could see us, but if that required some time, you know I'd get it. If you wanted more with me at all."
Tori did her best to keep her head up, her gaze as close to Lia's as she could manage without actually looking at her in an attempt to look as if she were carefully choosing her words of reply, but she didn't want to talk anymore. Especially about her feelings. She had spent every night analyzing everything that had happened to her that month just to come up with a giant question mark when Tori tried to actually establish just how she felt. She used to always hate her impulsiveness, the trouble it received did not always outweigh the pros; but sometimes she enjoyed that it had the knack of being able to show her what she really wanted at that particular moment.
She had leaned across the center console and kissed Lia, desperate to notice the differences between the blonde and Jade, desperate to have something else to think about at night again. Lia responded after taking a moment to get over the surprise, her hand immediately sliding up and around Tori's neck as kissed her back with fervor. Their set up had not been ideal in the cramped, separated front seats of the car, but the familiarity of it made Tori feel more normal again, like there had been no reason for her at all to question this date. Lia was unafraid who could see them, uncaring of how deeply she had been kissing Tori while parked on the street for all to enjoy if they chose to do so. But Tori, desperate for breath, pulled back a tiny bit, her hand playing with the end of Lia's shirt and eyes still closed.
"Nice girls don't kiss on the first date," Lia breathed but she kissed Tori again anyway.
"I guess Jade's a doll then, because we didn't make out until, like, our third night out together…" Tori almost smacked herself for bringing up another girl she'd… been with, however briefly.
Lia, though, was a better person than she was, it seemed. "I always knew she was hiding a deep, dark secret. Just never would have thought it would be that she's chivalrous," the blue-eyed girl laughed quietly, her lips pressing against Tori's again.
Tori smiled into the kiss and finally pulled away when it ended. "Come sit with my friends at lunch tomorrow. I don't know… how I'm going to introduce you-"
"Best to start small," Lia agreed, her hand sliding from the back of Tori's neck down to where she could feel a racing pulse. "How about a deal? We'll have a trial run this week, and if you don't want to keep things going by Friday, I won't hold it against you. But I will be able to find a party and get smashed so I can feel better." She leaned in to kiss Tori then for the last time that evening, stealing the laugh from her lips. "No pressure."
Tori smiled and nodded. "I'd like that."
Tori hadn't felt nervous as she approached the table with Lia; she knew her friends could deal with the interruption, especially after the drama between Beck and André. But Jade had become increasingly quiet amongst them, to the point where it was no longer mentioned to her face do to the terrifying looks the subject matter would earn. Beck was clearly still angry with her, Cat still annoyed her, and she remained as neutral as ever to André. But Tori could see her withdrawing more and more, looking more pale again and losing weight; she watched her go through the motions without comment because knew it wouldn't earn her a reply.
"Hey," she greeted the table casually as she sat down with the blonde. "Everyone, this is Lia."
Lia was met with a chorus of hellos, but Jade had remained silent. "Hello, all. Lovely to officially meet you."
"I love your accent. One time my brother had an accent, but he got in trouble for it because he was trying to impersonate the First Minister of Scotland to get on The Today Show."
"Well," Lia began after a moment of silence fell over the table while they all stared at Cat, "that's terrifying."
"So, Lia. How do you know Tori?" André's voice was smooth and charming, followed with a smile that left Tori knowing he would end up being disappointed. "You guys have been hanging out a lot lately."
"They have Physics together." Jade's voice made everyone but Lia jump; they had rarely expected a comment from her during normal conversation unless the raven-haired girl had been directly spoken to. Jade's gaze lifted from her salad, a terrifyingly friendly smile on her face. "Isn't that right, Lia?"
"That's right, Jade," the blonde responded without fail, her own voice light and airy.
"Funny how you can manage to find time between your busy social life." Jade's teeth were bared under the ruse of a smile after she took a sip from her coffee. "Maybe André's found his 'in' with you by being friends with Tori."
Tori glared at Jade from across the table, the first time she had allowed herself to openly look at her in two weeks, but the other girl kept her gaze locked with Lia's, who held it confidently. "What can I say? She's taken priority. Besides, I'm kind of cooling it on the partying, sorry André-"
"Oh, come on," came a desperate plea Tori's other side, but it went ignored by the two girls we were staring each other down.
"Which I hear," Lia continued as she casually began preparing her own meal, "is something you should be considering."
"Oh." Jade's voice was bubbling with barely restrained rage, but her smile remained. Tori couldn't shake the memory of Betty Sue Goldenheart while she sat helpless between the two.
"Maybe she's right," Beck jumped in with his own look of contempt. Tori had heard a few whispers about Jade's rising popularity amongst the guys in school now that she was available and seen out all the time. She assumed that none of those guys had actually ever talked to Jade, but it seemed pointless to warn them. Still, her abrasive personality seemed to have been downplayed by the rumor mill, and she knew Beck had definitely been listening.
"Maybe you should mind your own business." Jade's tense smile had dropped instantly as she snapped at her ex-boyfriend, earning a terrified yelp from Cat. Blue-gray eyes didn't look up as she gathered her things and left the table, but Tori's own gaze couldn't leave Jade's retreating form until she had disappeared into hallways of Hollywood Arts.
"Is lunch with your friends always this eventful?" Came Lia's voice, an obvious attempt to break the tension. Her hand slipped around to rest lightly on Tori's back, eyes warm.
Tori's gaze tore from the building to the girl next to her and her own smile returned as she attempted to get back into character. "Unfortunately."
"Sorry about Jade, she's been… actually pretty quiet lately, so it's been nice. Guess you didn't luck out." With André's comment the table returned to normal, with Lia drawing most of the attention as she introduced herself more to the group. Beck sat sullenly in his seat, half-heartedly eating his ravioli and Tori thought, for a brief moment, that maybe he could offer her some solace; some insight to the conundrum that was Jade. She shook her head at the idea, though. She doubted Beck wanted to talk to someone who had been hooking up with his ex about his ex.
Lia was at her side again the next day at lunch, testing the waters once more. While she and Beck debated the pros and cons to one of the classes he had been looking at for his next year, Tori's eyes searched the crowds. Jade had been fine in class, normal for Jade at the very least: demanding and vicious at all the right times and everyone else seemed appeased to her having returned to normal; but it had still felt off to Tori. She had been obsessing, she knew that, but Jade's snapping at Lia had left Tori overanalyzing the other girl again. The increasingly pale color of her skin, the shadows under her eyes, the more-than-average hollowness to everything she seemed to say. Tori saw it and she wondered if she must have been crazy too; after all, Beck had known her better than she had and for longer, and he didn't seem overly involved with her well-being unless it had to do with her romantic life.
Tori had found out that Jade's eyes were green that day. She had just made a successful contribution to the current topic conversation, she couldn't remember what she even said, but whatever it was, it appeased Lia and Beck enough that the brunette could go back to searching for teal streaks that adorned Jade's hair that day; only to discover that she had been sought out herself. As soon as Tori had Jade's gaze, she lost it. Jade walked past their table, keeping a comfortable distance so as to not arouse more attention from the others, and tossed the container she was holding in the garbage as she continued back into the school.
"If I didn't know any better, I'd say that Jade wasn't all that big a fan of mine." At the mention of Jade's name, Tori's attention turned back to the table to find Lia focused on her, an unreadable look on her face.
"Huge loss," Beck mumbled.
She wanted to defend Jade then, remind Beck that she was indeed a part of their group of friends and smack him over the head for being a jealous little boy when he was the one who broke it off. But something about the way Lia had been looking at her had made Tori hesitate; she knew it couldn't be fun for the blonde watching Tori sort through her feelings for another person when she was supposed to be trying with her. The table remained quiet until the rest of the group arrived.
"You look good in a little black dress." Lia had been 'pre-drinking' while they were getting ready, breath heavy with the smell of vodka and soda by the time Tori had reluctantly settled on a dress. Being a model, Lia naturally had a vast selection of dresses to choose from, but each one felt either too long or too short on the tomboy. Lia had been enjoying the fashion show, though; the camera she had been using to snap pictures of Tori probably having cost a small fortune, making the Latina nervous whenever Lia held it carelessly.
The blonde set down her cup and took a picture of Tori looking herself over in the mirror, an overwhelmed expression on her face. Tori didn't feel like herself in the short black dress, her hair meticulously done, bundled together over one shoulder with a simple black ribbon. She had felt slightly more at ease in a dress that probably cost more than all her clothes combined when Lia's arm slid around her waist. She smiled at the brunette's reflection and held the camera up as her lips dropped down to Tori's neck, and for the first time that evening she felt at ease, just as the sound of a shutter clicking filled the room.
"Are you sure you don't want to spend your only weekend evening off making out on your couch or something?" Tori asked, tugging the hem of the dress lower only to pull it up again, face scrunched in discontent.
"I'm sure I can find us a private room if you're so inclined, but I am not spending Friday evening holed up in my room." Her mouth had lifted up to press a warm kiss below Tori's ear before she continued, "Even if I am spending that time with you. I want to show my date off before I have to share her with Noah."
Tori turned in Lia's embrace, instantly feeling at ease upon seeing the familiar smile on the blonde's rosy lips. The camera snapped again, but Tori paid it no mind. "So, I'm your date?"
"You are." Lia's head tilted to the side, her coy look mixing all-too-perfectly with the devilish red dress she had on. "Even if it's to remain unspoken."
"I know it must be hard for you, I know you… don't care and that it might be a step back, but-"
"Tori, I spent a year making out with girls at parties to try to impress boys before I realized that I didn't care if anyone was watching." Her camera came down to rest on her shoulder as right hand came up to cradle Tori's jaw. "Everyone goes through things at their own time."
It hurt Tori sometimes, how guilty she felt for hearing Lia say something that reminded her of Jade. It had start to become second nature, pushing thoughts of the dark-haired girl back in her mind while she stared into entirely different blue eyes. "You're too pretty and interesting to be this nice."
Lia laughed and leaned in to kiss her. "I happen to find you terribly interesting and absolutely stunning, yet I didn't see a need to question how nice you are until now. So just what are those cheekbones and wonderful sense of humor hiding?"
"That I'm afraid of what people would think if they saw me with a girl," Tori replied with a humorless laugh and pained look in her eyes. "And that it's stupid."
"It's not stupid, Tori." Lia's smile had remained, sweet and sincere.
The guilt welled in her chest again, both at remembering how she had pushed Jade and for thinking about Jade again at all. She tried to make up for it, leaning in to kiss Lia with as much sincerity as she could. Even when Lia responded, it didn't seem like she was doing enough to make it up to the blonde. Tori hesitated before reaching up to grab the camera from Lia's hand. She pulled back for a moment, looking at the other girls warm eyes and flushed cheeks before kissing her again, softly and sweetly, snapping a picture while she did.
Lia smiled against her lips, grabbing the camera so she could pull away and look at the picture. "I don't want to rush anything either, Tori."
"You might be too good for me, you know," Tori responded with a self-deprecating smile, her hands wrapping around the slim waist in front of her.
"Tori Vega," two hands cupped her cheeks, forcing her to look to look the blonde in the eye, "don't ever let me hear you say that, is that understood?" Lia pushed Tori's head up and down until the brunette laughed and nodded on her own. "Now, come on. We have ten minutes until Noah gets here and you're not even the tiniest bit drunk. Unacceptable, little dove."
It had been easier after that, Tori's smiles felt less forced, especially after Noah had arrived to pick them up. She had to sigh, though, at the fact that he always seemed to look like an Abercrombie & Fitch model, and it hadn't even occurred to her that she had said so aloud until she heard Lia snort from the passenger seat.
"Hear that, Noah? You have a future with other models who are probably as equally gay as you are. Not a bad way to make a living." Lia's hand reached over to tousle his hair before she smiled back at Tori. "He always lets me use him for modeling shoots if I need a Ken."
"God, you make it sound like you're that creepy director from Fame and I'm Coco." He paused when he realized they were staring at him. "How have you not seen Fame when you go to a school like ours?"
"You're so gay sometimes," Lia deadpanned, her nails scratching at his scalp.
The party they ended up at was far more high-end than Tori could have ever expected, the weirdly modern Malibu house sitting on a huge yard. When they got inside the music had been pounding, a hypnotic techno dance beat so loud that it felt like Tori's heart was vibrating in her chest. The inside was decorated immaculately, looking too nice to have teenagers dancing around it. Tori had been introduced to more people, some she recognized while most she didn't. She was once again left to wonder how exactly Jade, of all people, could socialize so thoroughly like this, and outside the group no less. But she was easy enough to spot; she was the black dot on a sitting area full of colors. Even when she wasn't dressed in black - her jeans were just dark, and the button up she had open purple – but it was enough to make her stand out, even from Tori whose tan skin downplayed the dark color of her dress. Lia pulled her from her reverie, her hand slipping into Tori's to lead her to the counter where there were a myriad of colored plastic cups and half-empty bottles of soda stood. Most of the kids were smart enough to keep their alcohol in their hands.
"You good with just this?" Noah asked as he took the bottle that Lia had been holding, unspinning the cap and taking a shot of the clear liquid, grimacing and shuddering after he did. He passed it back to the blonde and grabbed Tori's wrists, twisting her back and forth until she gave in and laughed. "I can be a good designated driver and grab you more."
"Seems I'll be the only one partaking, Tori hasn't developed much of a taste for it unfortunately." Lia reached across the island and grabbed a bottle of coke out of the hands of a dumbfounded boy so she could mix herself a drink. She winked at him as she passed it back, lifting her cup in the air. "Cheers."
It was easy enough to pretend that Jade's ice blue eyes weren't just across the room, undoubtedly able to witness Tori and Lia dancing in the middle of the room, on the edge of the group of people. She caught a glimpse of her every once in awhile, though, her teal and blue streaks a bright spot on her otherwise dark attire. But Jade didn't seem to have any interest in them, despite the fact that she seemed animated on the couch, enthusiastic even. And Tori doubted anyone around her could have possibly been talking about weird foreign horror films that she liked.
Lia, though, had been very interested in Tori, arms wrapping around the brunette whenever she could, a constant happy smile on her face. She looked drunk, but pleased with whatever Tori could offer her, spinning her around and dipping her, despite the upbeat song that filled the room. Tori laughed, but when she was brought out of the dip, her eyes sought out Jade again, reminded too much of their dance in the rain; but she couldn't find the raven-haired girl until she caught Mike ducking into a bathroom out of the corner of her eye, Jade hot on his trail.
Tori took Lia in: gorgeous, bright Lia with her unconditional smiles and her dry wit. Lia, who could navigate a house she'd never been to before until she found a hall that held an empty room. Lia, who was smart enough to lock the door before pressing Tori against the wall, mouth hot, heavy and unrelenting on Tori's lips. She was perfect, too perfect for Tori and Tori knew it.
It was weird how disconnected she had felt from the whole experience, like she was on the outside looking in. She replied appropriately – her heart raced and her breath felt ragged – but there was no spark when Lia's warm lips connected with Tori's neck, peppering little bites rather than leaving an angry mark. Tori tried to stay in focus, tried to react like she should, being so bold that her searching hands located the zipper on Lia's dress.
"Well, that's just ridiculous," Tori breathed when Lia tugged down her red dress to reveal an equally seductive set of underwear; matching red lace that made her sweet blue eyes turn electric. Tori wanted to reach out and run her hand over the smooth peach-toned skin laid out in front of her, but Lia was already on her neck again, humming into the Latina's shoulder.
"Tori Vega, do you have the slightest idea how utterly gorgeous you are?" A warm set of lips captured her earlobe and Tori found herself really acknowledging what she felt for the first time that evening; a shudder running down her spine as her ear tingled at the contact.
"Tell me you want me," Tori murmured as her hands rested on lace-clad hips.
Lia's hands flew up to cup Tori's jaw as she leaned back to look at the girls. "I. Want. You," she stated firmly, the small smile on her face affectionate and her gaze soft. It didn't take long for it to become heated again; Lia had leaned in and kissed Tori softly, whispering, "I want you," once more after her fingers had ghosted down and around Tori's neck. Tori responded, finally, kissing Lia vigorously and receiving in turn. It still didn't set her brain into overdrive, even when Lia kissed down her neck to the hem of her dress before falling to her knees. Tori wanted though, and it felt nice to want, to be a normal teenager with crazy hormones hooking up with someone in a bedroom at a party.
It took her a few seconds to register that the knocking she heard wasn't the beat of the music, but someone at the door. But Lia had been pressing a kiss to the inside of her thigh, and Tori hadn't found a plausible reason as to why she would want that to stop, so she ignored it. Even though the bang of the door slamming back against the wall surprised Tori, she knew who it must have been as soon as it happened.
Jade strolled into the room, surely with a look of contempt on her face as she took in the scene in front of her, but Tori had been unable to lift her head; her cheeks were flushed with embarrassment and eyes downturned. She was thankful that Lia, even in her drunken state, was quick to react: she jumped up and slammed the door closed again, an outraged expression directed towards Jade.
"Are you kidding me with this?" Lia asked Jade incredulously, who, in turn, paid her no mind as she moved towards the bed.
"Well next time don't go down on someone in the room with the coats," Jade snapped back, tossing the aforementioned jackets from the bed to the floor until she found her own. She proceeded to dig through the pockets, acting as if the other girls weren't there.
"Are you really that petty, Jade? Or are you just hoping you left something fun in there?" Lia asked; head held high as she walked back to where her dress lay crumpled on the floor.
"Watch it, Barbie. I might have to see how easy it is to make your head pop off." Tori still hadn't been able to actually look up from the spot on the floor that her eyes had landed on, but she was sure that the look on Jade's face probably would have stopped traffic at a NASCAR race.
"Oh, Jade, if I hadn't just been about to ravage Miss Vega over here, I probably would have enjoyed that last one," Lia replied disdainfully, pulling her dress back up and moving to stand in front of Tori, blocking her from Jade's view. "Love, be a dear and zip me back up."
Tori flinched when she was addressed, but her head managed to lift enough to view the zipper and slide it up with shaky hands. Lia was Jade's height, only an inch taller than Tori, but with her slumped against the wall, all she could see was the expanse of the blonde's back that the strapless red dress left exposed. She reached up and pressed her hand against the warm, smooth skin below Lia's shoulder, earning her the slightest, over-the-shoulder smile of recognition from the British girl.
"That's disgusting." Jade's voice had been so venomous that Tori couldn't help but flinch again, thankful that she was out of anyone's line of sight.
"That's quite the glass house you're throwing stones in, Jade," Lia drawled, hand lazily running through her hair.
"Excuse me?" Jade asked, and Tori could hear the sound of her moving closer to them. "What the hell has she been telling you?"
"Like Tori has to tell anyone anything, Jade. We're not blind. If you don't think that Mike, Noah and I couldn't tell something was happening when you were ending up going home with her every night, then you're an idiot." Lia's shoulders straightened as Jade approached them, bracing herself in need be. Standing as Tori's shield.
"Oh." Tori finally peeked over Lia's shoulder to see that Jade looked just about ready to wind up and smack the blonde across the face before the door opened again, this time with a serious looking Noah coming through.
"Jade, we're getting out of here. Now." He grabbed Jade's jacket out of her hand and then took hold her forearm with his spare one, pulling her towards the door.
"Let. Me. Go." Jade growled, her eyes wide and expression clearly showing that she was ready to claw the blonde boy's face off.
"I have what you want, so if you want it, come with me," he said slowly as he pulled her along, as if he were speaking to a misbehaving child being sent to sit in the corner.
Jade ripped her arm away, fixing him with another look before she relented and walked out of the room on her own. Noah looked back at the girls with a half-smile and a sigh, though he didn't meet their eyes before he followed the girl out.
"Well," Lia sighed, turning to face Tori, "bit of a mood-kill, I suppose." Tori tried to offer a smile, but her breath ended up caught in her throat, causing her to release a choked sound. "Oh, darling." Again, Tori tried to make the situation easier, but her attempt at a laugh became a desperate gasp of breath. Lia's arms wrapped around her, hand sliding up and down and making Tori feel at ease even as she had let out another sob, her eyes remaining dry. "You're going to explode if you keep all of that inside, you know." Lia's lips pressed to her temple, making Tori desperately wish she could relax her tensed muscles. "How about I find us a ride home?"
Tori nodded and allowed herself to be lead by Lia through the crowd, their fingers clasped tightly until Lia located Noah. She sighed when she saw his glazed blue eyes and looked to Mike with a pleading smile. Tori had never really noticed before, but Mike had always seemed to stay relatively sober amongst them and she suddenly felt compelled to know why. She probably would have blurted the question out if her throat hadn't felt too strained to form a drove them slowly to Tori's, not wanting to draw attention to himself in case whatever was in his system could be picked up by a cop, the radio filling the silence in the car. When they arrived, he stepped out to pull the seat down and help Tori out of the car. Brooding and intimidating as he was, he was always a perfect gentleman.
"I'll – damn seatbelt," Lia muttered as she struggled until she finally managed to get out of the car, "I'll walk you to the door." Lia's arm slipped around her, hand running back and forth across Tori's bare shoulder while Tori heard the sound of a car door closing behind them. "Do you want me to come up? I can sleep on the floor."
Tori cleared her throat painfully. "No," she managed. "Just… I'm sorry. For freaking out. Especially when I won't see you until Monday afternoon. And just because… Jade is Jade… I'm sorry."
"Tori, someone walked in on us about to get it on at a party in Malibu when you're not even out of the closet yet. I'd expect you to be hyperventilating into a paper bag, to be honest."
"I wouldn't mind that actually," Tori finally managed a real laugh as they stopped at her front door.
Lia leaned in and kissed Tori's forehead, keeping her lips pressed against her for a few seconds before resting her own forehead where her lips had been. "Are you sure you're okay?"
"Yeah, I'm… sorry. I'm just… tired of all the Jade stuff already." Tori sighed and leaned in to kiss Lia briefly on her lips. "I'll call you tomorrow from the house phone. We have a good long distance plan. Bring me something back from Vegas."
"Oh, like we'll be allowed out of the sights of our many chaperones. They weren't going to let us to a fashion show out there with at least one parent per student. Unless, perhaps, I can find you something classy at the airport."
"I'll take it," Tori said softly, pulling Lia in for a hug that lasted five minutes.
It had been an easy decision for Tori when it came to what she was going to spend her Saturday night doing. The answer was simple: nothing. She had told everyone else that she was with her family that weekend, visiting relatives on a last minute trip to San Diego. So Noah had been the only one to inquire about her evening plans, approving of her laziness and apologizing for bailing on her the night before. She forgave him, wished him a good night out, and enjoyed the silence for a little while before she decided to be at least partly productive and stare at her Scriptwriting assignment. She was dressed down in loose sweats and a shirt that fell over one shoulder, hair lazily wavy from her lack of care to it that day after her shower. She felt relaxed with herself for the first time in awhile, and she realized that it was just the silence that made her feel that way.
Eventually she became restless enough that she interrupted her precious silence to turn on some music, shuffling her playlist and forcing herself to enjoy the surprising amount of songs she hated on her laptop. It was probably ten when it happened: Tori, having finally found a reason to enjoy her Scriptwriting class, had been so engrossed in her assignment and the music in the background that she almost didn't notice her door open until it had closed, a dark clad figure leaning back against it.
"Jesus, Jade," Tori hissed, nearly falling off the bed when she jumped back at the sight of the other girl.
"Hey," she replied amusedly, her eyes especially vivid with her pupils nearly a pinpoint in a sea of blue.
"What are you doing here?" she asked cautiously, gathering her books up and setting them on the floor near her bed, standing by them to put some distance between her and the other girl.
"Missed you," Jade singsonged as she stepped into the room, fingers dancing across the furniture she passed as she took in the photos and knick knacks around the room. She seemed so out of place, all dark colors in Tori's bright space.
"You can't… God, what are you on? Did you drive like that?" It became easier for Tori to see after a minute of trying to come up for a reply to the other girl: the glazed expression, her cautious movements, a funny smile on her red lips.
Jade gave Tori a wolfish grin. "C'mere."
"No. I don't… you can't just… Why are you here, Jade?" Tori stepped back again and again as Jade advanced, until her back hit the wall.
"I missed you," she repeated with her raspy voice, tugging her leather jacket off and tossing it on the floor behind her. "You've been so preoccupied."
"Shut up. Just… stop all of this. You're the one who wanted to forget anything happened." Tori's voice had been far more confident than she felt, her arms crossed over her chest in an attempt to keep a barrier between her and the approaching girl. "I'm not in the mood to get tortured again."
"Did I torture you?" Jade asked dazedly, the semi-sincere pout on her lips more than cancelled out by the fact that she had removed her shirt a second later.
"This isn't a joke, Jade," Tori finally snapped, pushing off from the wall and passed Jade's slow-approaching form. Her wrists were caught and she relented her retreat, allowing Jade to press against her back, lips resting against Tori's exposed shoulder. "You can't just… do whatever you want."
"I missed you," Jade said again, voice too-weirdly sincere, even with the clearly drugged drawl she had adopted. "I can't stop thinking…" her voice trailed off, head resting against Tori's shoulder. "Why Lia? I actually liked her."
Tori kicked at the carpeted floor, hands repeatedly curling into fists and relaxing at her side. "I'm… sorry about that. But…"
Jade's lips pressed to her jaw, making her cheeks flush at the contact while her hands moved around to press flat against the front of her hips. It had been too easy to lean back into the embrace, into Jade's waiting arms and her cool skin. "Did you miss me?"
"I can't do this," Tori sighed, though she made no attempt to move from Jade's arms. "Why can't you pick someone else for your little game? I know you hate me, but even this is too much from you." Her chin was tickled into turning towards the dark haired girl, to Jade's unsmiling but glassy look that Tori assumed was supposed to be giving off a sincere expression. She was tired though, relaxed in Jade's arms and feeling electrified at every touch. She looked over at Jade, feeling drained as she finally managed, "Thought we were just gonna crash and burn?"
"Plenty of time before the plane reaches the ground," Jade's voice was a hum again, a familiar smirk having returned to her face. It wasn't romantic or sweet or what every young girl dreamed of hearing, but it was undoubtedly Jade. And it had been enough to make Tori give in, close her eyes, and kiss the other girl again, feeling at ease with the familiarity and relief that she felt. Jade didn't disappoint, responding with fervor and a small noise of approval. She stepped around Tori's shoulder and immediately returned to pressing against the Latina's body, her bra clad torso leaving an expanse of cool skin for Tori's hands to explore.
Still, she couldn't keep quiet. "Tell me you want me," she had managed to pull her mouth back from Jade's lips. It took everything in Tori for her to lift her head and meet Jade's gaze, trying to find the backbone she forgot she had. She hated how gorgeous her eyes looked, how vibrant they seemed because of whatever drug Jade had numbing her.
Jade's gaze never wavered but she didn't respond. Well, she didn't respond how Tori had wanted her to anyway. Instead of pledging her undying words of, well, lust at the very least, Jade's hands fell from Tori's shoulders to her own jeans, fumbling with the button while she clumsily kicked off her boots. "Why else would I be here?"
"That's not the same." Tori's throat tightened momentarily, already aching, so she gave herself a moment to calm down, covering it by reaching to stop Jade's hands as she popped open the button of her pants. "Tell me you want me, Jade," she finally pleaded quietly, her heart hammering against the inside of her chest.
Jade's mouth opened like she was about to say something, but she closed it again as her hands guided Tori's around to her back, leaving them to rest there. Her glassy eyes still never broke their contact with Tori's, even as her arms came up to wrap around Tori's neck, bringing their noses brushing against one another's. It was only when she finally murmured her reply that her lids dropped. "I need you."
Tori had almost, almost been stupid enough to attempt a reply, and she had certainly never been more thankful for Jade's demanding lips finding her own. It took her a moment to realize that Jade had been relinquishing some of her precious control, like she had allowing Tori to ask questions and see her dance in the rain. She had moved up to letting Tori press her back against the wall and letting Tori paw at her jeans until they slid down her hips and left her nearly naked while Tori had still been fully dressed. It was Jade proving to Tori that, yet again, she would let Tori in, even if it was just for a night.
And it left Tori wanting Jade to rip her clothes off too, wanting Jade to be as desperate to see her, like she was to see Jade. She pulled back and reached down to the hem of her shirt, only to just then realize she hadn't been wearing a bra, causing a nervous laugh to escape her lips. It seemed to instantly wipe the tension in the room, and Tori hadn't known if that had been a good or bad thing until she saw Jade smile.
"Can we just get this over with?" Tori asked with bated breath, hands twisting the hem of her shirt back and forth. "I think I'll have a heart attack if we drag it out."
Jade nodded and then hummed as she arched back against the wall and reached for the clasp of her bra. Tori jerked her head to the side, clearing her throat and keeping her gaze averted as she pushed her sweatpants down her hips, kicking them behind her. When she saw Jade's bra drop, her eyes closed and she finally rid herself of her shirt. It took another deep breath before Tori could reach down and get rid of her last piece of clothing, but when she had she opened her eyes again, glancing over to Jade.
She was leaning against the wall, presumably only wearing the shade of jungle red lipstick she had on, but Tori had been too terrified to actually look below the other girl's neck. Jade seemed to have the same thing in mind, half-lidded eyes focused in on Tori's lips.
"Oh god, we're naked," Tori blurted out, hand flying up to cover her mouth as her eyes widened. She looked apologetically at Jade, who had an eyebrow raised. "I'm sorry. I just… we didn't, you know, because of the bathroom… and stuff." She closed her eyes and bit the inside of her cheeks to keep herself from rambling on, chest rising and falling rapidly. There was a silence, followed by Jade's hands wrapping around her waist, pulling them flush together and kissing Tori's jaw until the Latina met her lips. It still seemed weird, even after Jade's claim of needing her, that she would still be all soft curves and gentle kisses underneath her dark clothes and sharp scissors.
But she was nothing if not careful and sweet as she moved Tori back and pressed her down against the bed, following over top the brunette to the head of the mattress. Jade had been cautious with her kisses and touches, though she still kept their bodies pressed together, as if she was getting used to the feeling herself. Which, Tori figured, she probably was. But, still, she was probably more used to all of it than Tori had been.
Her hands rested on Jade's slim hips, afraid to move up or down. Jade was less shy, tearing her mouth away to attach to Tori's neck; slowly but surely leaving a mark big enough to cover the tidy pink nips that had littered her neck. And Tori's body had felt like it was on fire again, even with Jade's cool, clammy skin pressing against her own. Her mouth was hot though, unrelenting in its pursuit to mark her neck.
"Thought I told you not to do that," Tori said stiltedly, one hand finally moving up to roam up Jade's back, slipping along the bumps of her spine.
"I've never been a great listener." Jade shifted her weight onto one hip, her hand sliding up to cup one of Tori's breasts as her mouth found a new spot. Her thumb was soft as it brushed across the stiff peak, but it still made Tori's whole body go rigid, made her ache when Jade pulled her head away from her neck to look her in the eyes again.
Tori tried to think of what to ask Jade, something about them that wouldn't kill the mood. It was hard though, when Jade had been looking at her like she was. She felt more comfortable than she thought she could, lying there like that with Jade, exposed and vulnerable. Maybe it was because Jade was all soft touches and reverent brushes of her hand across Tori's torso, her own body as bare as Tori's; vulnerable and exposed. "I think I need you, too."
Jade hummed in return, watching her own hand move down to swipe across Tori's stomach, making the muscles ripple underneath the brunette's tan skin. "Drove me crazy, watching her touch you." Her voice had barely been above a whisper, but Tori had heard her loud and clear.
She grabbed Jade's ivory chin and made her look her in the eyes. "That's not fair."
"Life's not fair," Jade replied idly, kissing Tori's palm before ducking her head and shifting down the bed so she could press another kiss to the top of her stomach. Tori inhaled sharply, hands flying back down to the bed; even the brush of Jade's hair across her skin was sending her into overdrive. Her mouth had reached Tori's navel before the Latina could muster something out.
"I only want you." She hadn't ever thought about it before that moment, but the second Tori had said it, she knew it was true. Her hands tangled in Jade's hair as the other girl looked up at her. "And I don't…"
Jade silenced her again with a kiss, this time placed dead center between her hips, making Tori's legs jerk in response. Her hands loosened in Jade's hair, allowing the other girl settle between her thighs, leaving Tori far too embarrassed to keep looking at her. There were a few brief moments where Jade was adjusting her position and Tori was staring up at the ceiling, thinking about how easy it would be to push Jade off her and make her explain herself or leave; to not give in to the other girl so willingly. But when Jade's mouth settled on her, Tori's mind blanked, hips only staying on the bed because the other girl was holding them down, her arms having snaked their way under Tori's thighs. All the air left her chest at each swipe of Jade's tongue against her, warm and incessant and dragging a strained noise out of Tori's throat with each contact. Jade's nails scratched against Tori's hips while Tori's own hands tugged at her comforter with each ragged breath, half-formed begged words on her lips.
Again, Tori's voice filled the room they were in, desperate pants that echoed from wall to wall. She wondered if it would always be like that with Jade, if each pant and moan would always be torn from her chest, no matter what was or wasn't in her system. Jade's warm breath and eager tongue were like fuel to a fire, making Tori's muscles seize and clench, throat aching from each sound she made. Tori's eyebrows were knitted together, face pressed into her pillow as her stomach clenched.
Jade had begun to grow impatient, pace increasing as she zoned in on the spots that had Tori's too-tense body vibrating harder; the tongue swiping across her clit incessantly, making the coiling heat in her stomach tighten achingly quickly. It hadn't take long after that for Tori's hips to buck one last time, one final hoarse whine whimpering out of her throat. Jade's arms slipped out from under Tori's legs while Tori lay there, hands still twisted in the comforter as she tried in vain to relax her quivering muscles.
A kiss was pressed to the top of her thigh, then the middle of her shaking stomach, Jade stretching out over top of her again as she made her way back up Tori's body. She stopped though, apparently distracted enough by Tori's chest that her mouth was eager to clamp around an oversensitive nipple, causing Tori to jerk and push at the other girl's shoulder.
"You're gonna kill me," she muttered eyes falling shut again as Jade craned her head up.
"La petite mort," Jade replied in her raspy voice, sliding off the side of the bed and tugging the comforter until Tori finally helped her, sitting up and sliding underneath it.
"Sorry, Abuela didn't have time to teach my Spanish and French before she died."
"It means 'the little death'. It's a French metaphor for orgasm."
"Of course you know that." Tori couldn't help staring at the other girl as she unabashedly moved about naked, switching off the light before turning back in. She wondered what it would be like to have that much self-confidence. Though, whether it was self-confidence or drug-induced lack of shame, Tori couldn't be sure. She didn't mind, though, when Jade slid under the covers and threw her arm around Tori's middle as she settled onto her pillow. "Don't you want me to… why don't you ever want me to touch you? Do you not want me to?"
"Don't think you'll have to worry about that problem," Jade mumbled, breath brushing over Tori's shoulder with each word. She sounded as if all the energy had been suddenly and completely zapped from her, but Tori took happy Jade in whatever capacity she came in. Still, the weariness of the situation hit her full force as the remnants of her orgasm depleted enough that she could think again. Her face must have shown as much because when Jade had opened her eyes again she sighed and tightened her grip on Tori's waist. "I'm tired. I wanna lay here with you."
Tori turned her head to look at Jade, a small smile breaking through on her face. "I hate that you make blowing me off sound sweet because you're not insulting me."
"Quit making me regret being too lazy to get up, Vega." Jade leaned in to kiss Tori, keeping the smile on the Latina's lips a moment longer in the process. When her eyes closed, she seemed to be dead to the world instantly, leaving Tori to sigh and relax under Jade's embrace, hoping for the same so her thoughts didn't catch up with her.
She was thankful she woke before Jade, though definitely surprised to see that it was nearly noon and Jade was still dead asleep. Tori stretched slowly; trying not to disturb the girl next to her, but found that left her little to do, however, with Jade's arm still stretched across her. She settled on dancing her fingers across Jade's wrist, stopping on her pulse to feel the steady beat underneath before she moved up to trace the lines of the nautical star tattoo further up, lightly stretching the skin around it to watch it change shape. Her hand continued moving, trailing up to the small red dot not an inch higher than the permanent mark inked into Jade's arm, then to the one at the crook of her elbow.
Jade awoke with a start, her arm jerking away from Tori before her eyes had even opened all the way. She looked around for a moment before turning to lay back onto the bed, having put a few inches between Tori and herself in the process, and leaving a hand to cover her eyes; either to shield them from the bright light filling the room or Tori's gaze.
"Good morning," Tori offered, a forced smile on her face. Jade just dropped her hand and stared up at the ceiling in return. "I think I'm gonna end up with a permanent hickey soon if you keep this up." The other girl didn't look amused. In fact, Jade looked angry, though Tori didn't know if it was at herself or at Tori. It left the Latina chewing her lip, trying to decide whether or not to reach out the blue-eyed girl, when Jade kicked off the covers suddenly. Tori felt her throat tighten before she was even up and off the bed, looking around for her scattered clothes.
"Jade," she whispered pleadingly as she watched the raven-haired girl dart around the room. Tori sat up and pulled the sheet up to her chin, taking a deep breath before repeating herself in a firmer voice, "Jade."
Jade stopped and looked at Tori, her jaw working back and forth while she hugged the clothes bundled in her arms to her chest. She looked away for a moment, a sardonic smile having made its way to her lips before her gaze returned to Tori. "I should go."
"This isn't a joke to me." Tori's tone came out more harshly than she intended, but there was a weight settled on her chest that had been making it hard to breathe. "You can't do that… you just can't."
"You just can't," Jade muttered in a low voice even though she proceeded to drop her clothes and return to the bed, sitting on top of the covers and crossing her arms over her chest. "So, what now? Wanna tell me about your feelings?"
Tori's eyes fixated on a spot across the room as the walls began to spin, the weight on her chest making it hard for her to breathe and the ache in her temples making it hard for her to think. "Can you just talk or something."
"About what?"
"God, Jade." Tori closed her eyes sighed. "I don't care. Anything."
It was quiet for a long time, but it hadn't been any easier for Tori to catch her breath until Jade finally spoke. "My dad and I have only ever had one thing in common my whole life and it's horseback riding." That had definitely made Tori forget herself for a moment, turning to Jade with a raised eyebrow. "I know, shut up. But… right around the first time I started hearing the word 'divorce' in my house, he suddenly wanted to bond with me. And… it took a lot of failed attempts before we finally settled on something we both didn't hate."
Jade seemed to be considering how to continue, allowing Tori time to stare at her openly. Dark hair, red lips, pale skin: she looked like Snow White. A bitter, disturbed Snow White, but the horseback-riding thing had definitely been helping in Tori's mind. Thankfully, Jade ignored her stupid smile and continued. "So he took me out to this ranch, it was one of his clients so he had gone a few times before. And… I really liked it. Except when they tried to make me wear the hat. Now they won't let me ride unless I'm wearing it." She shot Tori a look when her smile grew. "So, we don't go out much anymore. But he usually tries to take me around my birthday. So… there. That's me talking."
"That sounds really nice," Tori said honestly.
"Super."
Tori laughed quietly and hugged her knees to her chest. "My dad takes me fishing sometimes. He's always been on the night shifts and stuff, so some mornings, instead of coming straight home, he'd go out fishing. One morning the spring after I turned eleven, he woke me up at three and asked me if I wanted to come with him. I think I remember when I was younger that he had tried taking Trina and… she did not enjoy it." Glancing over, Tori sighed when she saw that Jade hadn't been responding at all to her attempts to bond with her. "So, I got up and went with him and… I've been going ever since. It's always a surprise. We spend the whole morning out on Pyramid Lake with his partner's boat. Sometimes I think he gives me the talks fathers are supposed to give sons out there, about what it means to be a man and stuff, but I just kind of let him go off because he got two girls."
Jade made a noise that caught Tori's interest, so she turned to look at the other girl again. Jade cleared her throat and glimpsed over at Tori. "My dad takes my brother fishing out there," she explained. "The last time we went riding I told him he should start doing something with him too, so he picked fishing. And… I think he hates it. And I'm pretty sure my brother hates it. But they'll probably never stop, so it's… sweet, or whatever."
Blue eyes rolled and Tori couldn't help but laugh again, feeling her body relax for the first time since Jade had woken up. She hesitantly reached over and caught Jade's hand, entwining Jade's fingers with her own, enjoying the way their contrasting skin colors looked together. Tori looked up, but Jade's own eyes were stuck staring at their hands.
"It could be like this. Just getting to know each other better and hanging out." She had tried her best to speak nonchalantly, but Tori could tell by the irritated sigh that came from Jade that she failed. "You said you needed me."
"You had to know that I was out of my mind on-"
"On what?" Tori asked softly, trying to keep any accusatory tone out of her voice. Jade just huffed in return, so Tori squeezed her hand. "Can you just hear me out without rolling your eyes or interrupting me for a minute?" She waited for Jade to impatiently nod before she carried on. "You could save some money and not get high every time you wanted to see me – shut up, you said I could talk." She fixed Jade with a silencing stare until her mouth closed again. "We could get to know each other, we could get more comfortable, and we could tell people when we're ready. We already hang out with a group of people who already know."
"Oh, yeah, that group of friends. Noah, Mike, and Lia. Remember Lia? Your new shadow? Aren't you guys, like, a thing or something?"
Tori's cheeks flared and she tore her hand away from Jade's. "Why would you break into my house, have sex with me, and then bring that up?"
Jade sighed and stood from the bed, heading back to where she had dropped her clothes and hastily put them on. Tori didn't look up at her, didn't move her eyes from the spot she had been focusing on before. Several times while she dressed, Jade stopped and it seemed like she was going to say something, but nothing came until she had grabbed her jacket from off the chair she had thrown in on.
"Listen, Tori, I'm… I'm sorry. I told you-"
"Just get out, Jade," Tori said tiredly and Jade listened, for once without another word.
Author's Notes: Well, finally. Exams took it out of me, and I didn't know where to end this one. Thank you to everyone who is leaving feedback, it's definitely shaping the fic.