title: the one with the interviews
author: ohwhatsherface
note: I am so mean to Kakashi.
disclaimer: the usual.

"Who's interviewing us, Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto asked.

Kakashi didn't even look up from his book to answer, certainly not earning him points on Sakura's Scale of Politeness. "Dunno."

It was time for the annual Jounin Sensei Evaluations, apparently. Kakashi hadn't known that day existed until Sakura gave him a dirty look for having arrived three hours late and told him as much. She said that he was to go with them to the Hokage Tower, where the Sandaime and someone else (probably Iruka) would be conducting an interview to evaluate his skill as a jounin instructor.

Frankly, Kakashi didn't care what the three said. If they made him sound good, then fine. And if they made him sound bad... well then he probably wouldn't even be saddled with another group of little shits ever again.

Kakashi almost jumped for joy at the prospect.

Then again, they also could punish him for being a bad instructor by making him do it again and give some lame "practice makes perfect, Kakashi" excuse.

Damn.

Still, the results of the interview could only be given after the interview took place. And that wasn't happening. At all.

He was reminded of how long they'd been waiting (they'd arrived to the building ten minutes ago) when Sasuke sighed in annoyance.

Kakashi looked at the clock, bored. "I swear we're on time."

"You're early, actually." Kakashi looked over to the Sandaime, who was coming down the hall with Iruka behind him. Iruka was looking down with at the clipboard in one hand and scribbling away on it with the other.

"Yo," he greeted, when they stopped in front of him. Perhaps being polite would help him out with this stupid evaluation.

Neither of them replied, however. Instead, Iruka stared back for a moment and mumbled as he wrote, "Failure to arrive to first appointment."

Kakashi frowned. "'First'?"

"I booked us two appointments, Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura piped up with a wide grin. "Our original one was at noon, but I knew you'd be three hours late, as per usual, so I booked one for three-fifteen just to be safe!" Trust Sakura to be the suck up, Kakashi thought. He glanced at the Sandaime, who did not look pleased with the situation. And make me look bad. He decided Sakura would be doing extra laps around Konoha tomorrow morning. Hmph.

"Come inside," Iruka told the three.

When Kakashi moved to enter, the Sandaime pulled him by the back of his shirt. "Where are you going?"

Kakashi looked at the genin. "Uh... inside?"

He shook her head. "Kakashi, you don't get to stay for the evaluation. Come back in an hour."

Kakashi seemed mildly crestfallen. How else was going to give them threatening stares to make sure they said the right thing. Then again—

He was brought out of his thoughts when the door slammed shut.

Damn.

"Is this going to take long? I'm kinda hungry..."

Sasuke rolled his eyes at Naruto's utter lack of respect. And stupidity. God.

Iruka rolled his eyes. "Shut up and sit down, Naruto."

Naruto looked ready to protest, but stopped when Sasuke, who was on his left, punched his knee, and Sakura, on his other side, pushed him into his seat. The Hokage smiled. It would seem Kakashi taught them some level of teamwork, at least.

"We will begin with a few questions you guys can answer together," Iruka said, moving into a chair at the side of the desk. "Afterwards, we'll do some individual interviews, okay?"

They nodded and she looked down to the standard list of questions.

"Let's get started."

"Naruto, why don't you tell us what training with Kakashi is like?" Iruka began. When Iruka said the individual interviews would begin, Naruto jumped up and said he'd be going first without a second glance to his teammates.

Naruto snorted. "Wouldn't know."

The Sandaime raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

"Well he's with Sasuke all the time," Naruto pointed out. "Like, always. They always go off together in the forest. No clue what they're doing though." He crossed his arms and pouted. "He's probably teaching the bastard some super secret super awesome technique."

"I see," Iruka mumbled, writing something down.

"It's not fair!" Naruto grumbled. "The bastard always come back all rumpled and worn out and shit! Kaka-sensei is always with Sasuke! Ugh! Why does he get all the action?"

The Sandaime couldn't help but chuckle. "Now, now, Naruto. I'm sure you have gotten some action as well."

Naruto paused. He tried to think back on his time with Team Seven, scratching his thin thoughtfully. "Well, there is one thing Kaka-sensei showed me!"

Iruka looked intrigued. "And what was that?"

"Well…" Naruto grinned evilly. "It's sort of this super cool, super evil sort of jutsu called the One Thousand Years of Pain technique where—"

Iruka scribbled furiously as Naruto continued to explain this "special" jutsu he'd learned from Kakashi.

What the hell was wrong with this team?

"So, Sasuke, Naruto says you do a lot of training with Kakashi."

Sasuke tilted his head ever so slightly at Iruka, wondering where the questions were. He didn't really care for whatever a moron like Naruto had to say. When Iruka only continued to stare at him and the Sandaime appeared more interested in puffing out rings of smoke, Sasuke rolled his eyes and mumbled an affirmation, assuming that was what they wanted.

"What do you think of Kakashi as a jounin instructor, Sasuke?"

What did he think of Kakashi? Sasuke almost snorted. Kakashi was many things. Kakashi was a skilled shinobi but as a teacher, he was certainly irritating, to be concise. He showed up late to training sessions, he showed up late for missions, he left on missions whenever a waitress winked his way, he was always reading his stupid ass porn book, he had an annoying habit of disappearing on them, he—

"He is adequate."

The Sandaime raised an eyebrow at hi. "Adequate?" Apparently "adequate" wasn't used all too often to describe the Hatake Kakashi.

Sasuke only nodded once.

Iruka chuckled. "Well, Hokage-sama, Kakashi can't be perfect in everything." Iruka moved onto his next question: "What has he taught you so far?"

Sasuke shrugged. "A few things."

"…like?"

"Chakra control, some jutsu, survival techniques."

When Sasuke made no move to elaborate from his vague and oh so irritating answer, Iruka couldn't help but realize that on the contrary, Uchiha Sasuke picked up a lot more from his sensei than he knew.

How unfortunate.

Iruka smiled at the last member of Team Seven that he had to interview. Sakura had always been such a sweet girl and was always good when it came to answering questions about anything, so he was sure this interview wouldn't leave him utterly exasperated.

"So, Sakura, what have you learned from Kakashi so far?"

"Lots of things!" Sakura replied with a wide smile.

"Could you give me an example, please?" Iruka asked.

"Sure!" she chirped. Sakura thought back over the last bunch of months she'd been on Team Seven. "He's taught me..." Sakura paused. "Well, I mean, there was... see, he showed me... um... I—uh—" Sakura laughed awkwardly. "Um, I'm so sorry, Iruka-sensei, Hokage-sama! Just... nothing is coming to mind."

"Surely there's something," the Sandaime said, frowning. He refused to believe Sakura Haruno got nothing special out of her time as the Hatake Kakashi's student.

Iruka nodded. "Yes, we all know about Sasuke's Chidori, and Naruto's... One Thousand Years of Pain..."

"Of course," Sakura said. "Well, Kakashi-sensei has taught me... um..."

"Sakura?" Iruka frowned. "Sakura, what has Kakashi taught you so far?"

"...I don't understand the question."

Kakashi looked up from his erotica when he heard the doors open. His students all came out of the evaluation room looking rather relieved to be done with the interviews. Iruka stepped out behind them and scowled at Kakashi.

"So," Kakashi began, unable to keep from smiling. "Am I the best teacher ever or what?"

Iruka snorted as he ushered Team Seven over to Kakashi.

"Make the most of it with these ones. You're not getting another batch for a very long time."