Losing Myself

DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything relating to Harry Potter in any way, shape or form…except for the 10 books that I bought…and the many DVDS…and posters…and Tshirts…and video games…and…legos…figurines…well I think you get the picture.

CHAPTER 2:

I didn't expect to have lived. When I opened my eyes the room was blurry and my vision was partially obscured by my hair. The room was dark and I looked around blearily attempting to work out where I was. I moved my hands slightly so I could move my hair from my face, as I did so I felt the cold and heavy weight of shackles around my wrists. I looked down at my hands, sure enough there were red marks from the chaffing of metal on skin, my hands were filthy, the nails encrusted in dirt and stained with black from soot. I shut my eyes tightly as I remembered the cause for the soot…

My eyes were watering, the heat in the room was suffocating me. I clawed at my throat and tried to gasp for air, only succeeding in breathing in the smoke from the magic induced flames. I let out a sob before collapsing.

I shook my head quickly before breathing deeply and opening my eyes. I am a Black, I am strong, I will carry on. I thought to myself before moving the hair away from my face. It was filthy and matted in places, I scrunched up my nose and turned my attention to the room around me. It was bare. Empty. Not even a chair in a corner. I quickly realized that it was a cell, a dungeon cell. There were only few places that the Dark Lord had under his control which held a dungeon, Malfoy Manor. I swore under my breath before standing with some difficulty and moving towards the door. Just as I stood I head footsteps on the other side of the door, I froze before sitting again. I leant back against the wall attempting to look as if I was still unconscious.

"She's awake, I'm sure of it my lord" a voice said. I scowled as I recognised it. Severus Snape. Disgusting Half-Blood, attempting to elevate himself above one such as me! The madness must have been taking hold of my mind, I shuddered as I thought of the possibilities before listening intently.

"Yes Severus. Open the door, I enjoy seeing my failed followers before they are killed" a cold voice said. I shuddered again as I heard his voice. My heart pounded and I struggled to keep my breathing even, I squeezed my eyes shut tighter as I heard the door creak open.

"Ah yes, Bellatrix dear. Do not attempt to hide from me. You are awake, there is no use in pretending" he sneered. I let out a gasp as he grasped a clump of my hair and pulled hard, the tears stung my eyes before I knew what was happening. I bit my lip hard enough to draw blood. His response was to laugh coldly, it was an inhuman laugh, I shuddered again as I heard it. He ran a finger along the side of my face before slapping my cheek, it burned and was sure to be red with the imprint that his hand undoubtedly left upon my skin.

"It is not yet too late dear Bellatrix. I will still forgive you. But if you do not comply there will be dire consequences for you, and unfortunately for the rest of your family" he said mockingly. I spat in his face. He barely blinked at this. He released his grip on my hair roughly before standing again and moving towards the door.

"It will happen tomorrow. Be prepared my dear Bellatrix. You have defied me now, you will regret that decision for the remainder of your life. What will happen to you will be far worse than death. I promise you this. Sleep well Bellatrix, you must be well rested for the little display we shall have tomorrow" he said the last few words viciously. I could feel the bite from the venom in his words, the truth that was like an ice cold dagger being dragged along my spine. I closed my eyes and swallowed. My throat ached from being dehydrated and I felt more tears leak from my eyes and saturate my filthy hair.

I fell asleep from sheer exhaustion nothing else. Sleep brought back too many memories. Too many dark times that I would rather push to the back of my mind, but with sleep came short lived peace which is soon replaced with the despair that the recollection of these memories brings me.

He kissed my hand gingerly, looking up into my eyes all the while. I blushed slightly and smiled. My hair was flowing freely down my back, untangled and beautifully gleaming in the sunshine of the afternoon. It was one of the most wonderful days of my life, my heart was soaring, and I bore a permanent smile upon my lips.

'Trixie, you know how I feel. Please. Come with me' he said to me later as we were sitting beneath the shade of a large tree. I looked into his brown eyes which gleamed in the fading light from the sun. I smiled sadly.

'I'm sorry, I can't. What would they all think? It's impossible, it simply cannot be done' my voice wavered towards the end. I closed my eyes and tried to memorize the feeling of his skin touching mine, my hand was wrapped in the warmth that his larger hand lent me. I leaned over and pressed a kiss to his forehead. Sighing as I pulled away from him. The hurt in his eyes was enough to make me lose control of my emotions.

"I'm sorry" I whispered once more, before kissing him. I felt my tears mingling with his. The kiss was bittersweet. I pulled away and shook my head before standing and walking away.

That was the last time that I saw him alive.

I awoke with a gasp, and then a sob. I covered my mouth with my hand trying to stifle any more sobs that would undoubtedly be emitted. I was shaking as I opened my eyes to the darkness surrounding me. I shivered and wrapped my arms around my torso. The darkness permeated through my clothing, reaching into my soul and pulling whatever warm remnants of the sun away from me. The tears had stopped flowing but my eyes still stung from them.

"Your time is up dear Bellatrix" I heard him say from outside the door. I jumped startled, and then I realized that this was it. I closed my eyes and centered myself. This was it, my final chance at escape and my final judgment. I stood and held my arms out as two masked death eaters came into the cell, they unchained the shackles from the wall, my hands however were still bound together. They were shaking, my body was betraying my emotions, and it was betraying me. I walked out of the cell with one of the Death Eaters in front of me, and the other behind me. He was standing outside of the cell, leaning against the wall waiting for me. I lifted my chin slightly and made an effort to stand up straighter. This was my last chance at redemption before I became someone else. I wouldn't let him have the satisfaction in seeing me weak again. He smirked in my direction before signaling for the Death Eaters to follow him.

Hey peoples! So second chapter! Aren't I a cool person lol

I have to thank my friend Annika, for giving me her opinion and helping me plan out the rest of the story haha :) 3

Anyway!

New chapter, this one hopefully shed some more light on what the heck is going on!

OH and don't forget to Review! Reviews are what I thrive on peoples, reviews.

Ok thanks :)

Mez x