When You Need Me I Will Be There

Chapter 17

After two hours, Rory awoke to find herself wrapped in the arms of Lucas. She felt safe but scared at the same time her insecurities began to creep into her mind like would Lucas leave her like every other person she had ever loved. Her mother, father, and Nathan all did what was stopping Lucas from doing the same. She knew she could not survive without him those few months where they were not talking nearly killed her. Rory needed to talk to someone that could understand not just someone she had to act as if she was not falling apart inside around. Therefore, she quickly got off the bed and left Lucas sleeping soundly. Roy felt like she was going crazy one minute she felt fine like everything was under control the next she felt like she wanted to throttle something.

She made sure she looked like she hadn't been crying then she left the room and went to the kitchen to grab some food but when she entered Karen was standing there cutting up potatoes for dinner and Rory didn't feel like dealing with more sympathy. Therefore, she grabbed an apple and headed out.

Karen was not surprised that Rory would not talk to her she could tell by the way she was acting she needed someone other than her. Rory was headed to Peyton's she seemed to be the only one that understood the feelings and pain she was experiencing. She arrived and knocked then she heard footsteps coming to the door. Peyton opened the door but was not shocked to see Rory.

"Come in"

"Thanks"

Peyton just smiled and led Rory into the living room they sat on the sofa in silence until Rory was ready to talk. Peyton knew how hard this was she decided some food because she knew Rory loved just to eat and talk she was hoping it would work this time. Meanwhile Rory lives contemplating whether she could really let her feelings known even to Peyton. She had tried to talk to Lucas but she felt he did not understand. Yes, Dan was not in his life but he was horrible in every sense of the word. Her father was the complete opposite he was caring and loving and always there for her. She did not want to face what was ahead of her without him he was her rock.

Finally, Peyton reentered the room with all of Rory's favorites but she did not seem to notice. Peyton just set down the food and sat down beside her.

"Rory"

Rory just continued to look off into space Peyton go to was worried about her. She knew what she was doing she was shutting down her emotions and the people that cared about her in the process.

"Rory please don't do this talk to me. I just want to help."

Rory finally moved her hand and looked at Peyton and another flood of tears started Peyton was glad that she was coming out of her trance. That tears did not shock Peyton chief figured Rory had cried but those tears were from shock and numbness but she was sure that Rory was finally letting her emotions come to the surface. Peyton's mind drifted back to when her mother died when she was nine and how all her friends gathered around her when she needed them most and that's what Rory needed right now.

"Rory please calm down its okay let out. I'm right here I'm not leaving you."

Peyton knew that she needed that reassurance sure both Lucas and Karen were there for her but Peyton knew what she truly needed. After a few more minutes of crying boy was finally able to calm down somewhat and began to talk with tears still in her voice.

"Peyton I'm so scared of everything that's facing me. I don't know if I can handle it without my dad."

"Rory your strong don't doubt yourself."

"My father wasn't only my father he was the other part of my soul and my best friend"

"I know my mother was the same for me"

"One minute I'm fine the next I want to break something apart. I feel like I have no outlet to let out this pain and that I'm drowning in it and I just can't reach the surface"

"Rory everyone wants to help you. You just have to let us in."

"It's like I'm in the forest and I can see the light with each of you in it I just feel rooted and can't move out of the darkness no matter how hard I try"

"I promise you it will get better"

"I just understand why God needed my father too wasn't enough that he took my mother away before I got to know her?"

"I wish I could answer that for you I really do"

"I just don't think I can handle saying goodbye"

"I know it will be extremely hard but we will all be there"

"I just wish he wasn't gone"

Once again, silent tears began to roll down and Peyton just rubbed her back to calm down. After they talked a little more Rory, headed back to Lucas's for dinner and just to forget about everything if she could. When she arrived back at the house Lucas was in his room throwing a basketball in the air and catching it. Therefore, Rory just lay beside him on the left side of the bed and watched him. Trying to get lost in the simple happiness of the moment. Lucas finally turned and looked at her with concern in his eyes.

"You okay I woke up and you weren't here and I talked to my mom and she said that you went out but she didn't know where. So I was worried."

"I'm sorry I went to talk to Peyton because I needed to talk to her about how I felt."

"Rory babe you know I'm here for you"

"I know and I appreciate it"

Lucas took her in his arms and gave her a hug.

"Lucas promise me something"

"Anything"

"Promise me you'll never leave me"

"I promise I won't until my last breath"

"Thank you I love you"

"I love you to Rory"