Author's Note: Sorry about the very late updates, but exams have taken up much of my free time. Now, here are the requests/suggestions that were made. The two will be posted at the same time. Here you go, Zeoness!

IX

Rage

My first kill: my first failure, my first true fit of anger.

I had hesitated, and that had been the mistake that had set the cogs into motion. Alexander was adamant that I should perform the warding ritual to fend the Shadow off, but I had never killed somebody, not to mention I had never held a weapon. My hands had been shaking all the time. Upon Alexander's demands, I stood looming over my first victim. But I didn't do it, and Alexander lost his patience: he thrust the dagger into my victim's heart. My hands were still holding that dagger, my hands were the ones who became stained with blood.

"No… no… no, no, no, NO!" I panicked, doubled over as I stared at my bloodstained hands. My own blood had frozen in my veins and I could barely breathe. "Oh, God, what…" I was so terrified I couldn't speak properly. I looked up at Alexander: his hands were clean; deadly pale, but clean. I envied him, and so heavy was the weight on my chest that I fell to my knees. I couldn't stand it.

"Daniel?"

Alexander. He was so close to me, but I wouldn't look at him, not after what he'd done. I even sensed concern in his voice though after such a deed, I staunchly believed that concern was fake. I was shaking, trying to pull myself together: all my efforts were thrown overboard when I felt his hand upon my shoulder.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!"

Seconds later, I realised that scream had been mine. I had slapped Alexander's hand away, and then I brought myself up to my feet. "Don't you dare, not after what you've done!"

"It is what must be done, Daniel, nothing more."

"Horseshit! Lies, that's what it all is!" I backed away from Alexander as though a prey before its hunter. "He… he pleaded, Alexander, he bloody pleaded for his life! He claimed… he claimed he was innocent!"

"So will everyone," said Alexander, impassive as rock itself. "They're monsters, Daniel."

"They're people!" I shouted, more to myself than to Alexander. "They're people… and I- Oh, God… they're just people…"

"And what does that make you?"

"NO! Not that, Alexander, NOT THAT!" I was falling into my own panic, drowning in the sea that it was. Tears clouded my vision, but I blinked them away; my head was spinning, but I controlled myself. "You made me do it! You did! I'm- I'm no monster!" I did not try to hold my sobs back: I was too weak to bottle everything up. "I didn't… I didn't do it…"

"Would you rather have lost your life instead?" asked Alexander. "Would you rather have prolonged his life so that more could be lost?"

"I wasn't willing to let that happen!" I exclaimed with wide eyes and shaky legs. "But you… you forced me, Alexander, you forced me! I wasn't READY!" I felt miserable, some part of my mind reeling in disbelief: I wasn't ready? Was I willing to kill to save myself? "I didn't kill this man, and yet… and yet my hands are stained with his blood and yours aren't when you were the one who moved the dagger down!" I complained, tears streaming down my face. "Why is that? WHY?"

I never got an answer. Instead, Alexander turned on his heel and made as it to leave. The Orb… the Orb was the reason behind my suffering. The only way to eradicate my suffering would be to destroy it… and that is what I set out to do. With two strides I was at the table, and in milliseconds I had the Orb in my hand, ready to be smashed against the cold, stone floor. Something wasn't right: I was going mad. When you're out of control you get a singular feeling, which is what I felt as I contemplated destroying the Orb.

Before I could do anything though, Alexander had snatched it away. "You fool!" he cried. "Do you have any idea of what could've happened?"

I laughed. "No, not at all!" I exclaimed, feeling light-headed, "but I couldn't care LESS!"

Alexander did leave me afterwards… and thankfully. I screamed and cried, kicked the tables over and gave vent to my rage. Once, I was about to throw up, but my tears wouldn't let me.

I was no monster. No matter what Alexander said, I was no monster.

My own deeds proved me wrong.