2-The Firelord's Gardens

Zuko wandered around the palace, aimlessly, after tearing himself away from the weapons room. No one asked if he was okay, no one bothered him, as he wished it. The funeral was hard enough. Not only did he have to bury his Firelady, but he had to make a speech to the nation, showing no emotion. It was hard when every piece of him felt like it was breaking.

The funeral ended an hour ago. Most who attended had gone home; some such as Mai's family were staying in the palace for a few days. But they had gone to their rooms, to grieve he supposed.

The hallways seemed dark and empty as he walked through them. It was so quiet…every second of silence was making him mad. I need some air…

At a slightly quicker pace he walked out to the back, to the gardens. For the past year he had purposely avoided this area. It was filled with so many memories…they were painful to think about, knowing that those people who had once filled his heart with joy were gone now, but still the memories were happy ones. And he felt foolish for avoiding this place for so long.

The sunlight greeted him as soon as he stepped outside, warming his face. For a moment he stood still, enjoying the beauty. The green grass, the cool blue pond, turtle ducks swimming around happily, beautiful flowers covered the lawns. The memories seemed to come flooding back to him at once.

He imagined his mother and his younger self, sitting under the tree, laughing together. He could almost see a younger Mai, and a younger Ty Lee and Azula picking on them. Back when things were innocent, simple.

He kneeled near the pond, brushing the soft feathers of one of the turtle ducks. He felt hot suddenly from the sun. Odd how on a funeral, the day could be so beautiful. But Mai would have wanted it. He knew she wasn't always the cheeriest person, but her beauty shown through in so many ways. Many of which he could not describe if he tried.

He dipped his hand into the pond, letting the cool water flow around it, soothing him. He brought a pool of it to his face and splashed himself, cooling himself off. He should come out here more often. Out here it was silent as well, but a different kind of silence. There were birds chirping and animals rustling through the bushes, rather than the constant chatter of people.

Completely relaxed, he closed his eyes, wondering where Mai was, if she could see him, if her spirit was with him at this moment. Just knowing that she was no longer in pain, eased the guilt. Just a little.

It seemed as if he had just closed his eyes when he felt a soft tap on his shoulder. He opened his eyes to a blurry face. It cleared after a few seconds and Katara was looking down at him, with a small smile. Zuko did not return it, but in a way, he was glad to see her. He had almost forgotten that she was still here. She had worked on Mai the last couple days of her life and after she passed, Katara had helped plan the funeral and comfort him. He was grateful for her company.

"Hey you," she said, blue eyes sparkling from the sunlight.

"Hey."

"Didn't expect to find you out here."

"Neither did I."

"But one of the guards said he saw you heading this way."

"I needed some air." Zuko sat up suddenly, getting a full view of Katara. She was still in her formal attire, having just come from the funeral herself. Her knees were pulled up to her chest, long hair spilled around her shoulders. She watched him, waiting for him to speak. "You were looking for me?"

"Yes," she said. "I have a message. The Earth King is coming to see you."

Of course that was why she was looking for him. The guards were avoiding him, knowing he did not want to speak with any of them. Katara was the only one he could tolerate, so any messages they received, they told her so she could tell him. They both knew this, but she never expressed it that way. She always treated him like a friend, a person she wanted to talk to, not someone she had to talk to.

Zuko lay back down on the grass. The earth king was coming. He had almost forgotten for a moment that he was the Firelord. The newly widowed firelord. And of course the rulers of the other nations wanted to express their sympathy. But that was not what he wanted. Then what did he want? He always had trouble figuring that out. Odd how he came out here to clear his mind and it ended up being more befuddled.

"The grass is really soft," he said.

"Is it?" Katara questioned. She lay down in the grass next to him, both silent, enjoying the nature surrounding them.

"The others are coming," Katara finally said. Zuko turned his head to face her. She did the same, blue eyes meeting gold.

"When?"

"Hopefully they will all be here by tonight. I sent them letters right after Mai's passing."

The words stung. Hearing someone else mention Mai's death was like a knife in his heart. He tried not to show this, though he was pretty sure his body tensed up. If Katara had sensed anything she made no notice.

"Okay."

Katara sat up, her hair a little flattened from laying on it. She straightened it absentmindedly, and looked over at Zuko.

"Well I guess I'll leave you alone. I'm going to go inside to change."

Zuko wanted to tell her she didn't have to go; he didn't need to be alone. But the words wouldn't come out. He nodded instead, and watched her walk away. She had soft footsteps, if he hadn't been watching, he wouldn't have known that she was leaving.

He turned his head back frontwards, looking up at the blue sky. He had friends coming, but he wasn't sure if he wanted to see them.