Hey everybody. Sorry I didn`t update last night . A bunch of stuff went down .. So yeah... It`s okay now.. Sorta. I`m just gonna write.

Kurt walked out of the bathroom, numb. Why? Why would Blaine do such a thing..? He stared towards his bed, where his boyfriend had began to stir, due to the light bleeding in from the room, as well as the lack of warmth. He let out a little tired moan, and the corner of Kurt`s mouth titled upwards, but fell again.

How could someone so beautiful do such a thing? Why? What made him want to hurt himself?

`Kurt..? Wha`s wrong?`

Kurt shook his head, smiling weakly at his tired boyfriend`s garbled speech. He sat down on the bed next to Blaine and turned to him seriously, looking him straight in the eye.

`There were blood drips on my tile floor this morning.`

Blaine froze and smiled weakly.

`I think i had a nosebleed last night...`

Kurt`s eyes immediately filled with tears; Blaine didn`t trust him. He lowered his head, as the tears fell and Blaine felt his heart break.

`Blaine I saw the tissues with the bloody lines on them. Nosebleeds don`t do that... And your case fell over and i saw it. A blade...`Kurt turned to him, putting a hand on his cheek, stroking it gently, `Blaine, baby,`Blaine leaned into his touch at the nickname, `why would you do this to yourself... You deserve so much more...`

Kurt`s words were full of sincerity, and Blaine felt himself tearing up. He bit his lip, pulling Kurt into an embrace, the pair cuddling on the bed. He stroked Kurt`s hair, who in turn drew lazy circles on Blaine`s back.

`I don`t want you to leave me, Kurt. Ever...`

Kurt looked up at him gently.

`And you think that i`m going to leave you for having flaws? Blaine, in my eyes, regardless of what you do to cope, i love you with all of my heart and you are perfect. I will not leave you because of past events that caused you to go to a negative outlet. All i can do,`he sighed gently, kissing his neck, `is try my best to get you out of it slowly, and make sure you know you`re not alone and you are loved.`

Blaine smiled, holding him tightly. He had the best boyfriend in the world; it was offical. Though, the smile quickly faded as he refocused.

`Kurt, what i`m about to tell you is things i`ve never told anyone before. Okay?`

Kurt simply nodded in reply, listening intently to Blaine`s heartbeat, and Blaine`s voice. He let out a shaky breath and began to speak.

`When I was younger, my parents always took me to sunday school at the church. I met a boy named Harry there. We were the same age, and he quickly became the person I always went to find as soon as I got there. By the time elementary school hit we always hung out together, had the same interests, tried out for the same things, we were always together. Same thing when middle school came; we were still best friends. Until auditions for the musical came out...`

Kurt looked up at him, listening, interested but also concerned.

`We auditioned for the school musical together, and we were going to keep it secret until we found out if we`d made it. We were practicing for auditions one day in the choir room, and he had to go to football practice soon, so we were hurrying. He smiled at me and thanked me for always being there when i needed him, and it was that moment i knew i had to tell him i was gay. He needed to know...`

`Harry... can I tell you something..?`

Harry smiled at Blaine happily.

`You can tell me anything man, you know that!`

Blaine smiled, nodding. `We`ll be best friends no matter what. Right?`

Harry faltered for a moment but smiled that big, toothy smile of his.

`Yeah, sure.`

Blaine looked Harry in the eye, playing with the edges of his sweater sleeves. He bit the inside of his mouth and his head began to spin. He started to panic and he didn`t know what to do anymore.

`H-Harry, I`m gay!`

Harry`s smile fell as if it were glass, and it had been hitten by a giant boulder. Harry smiled weakly and looked at his watch, quickly mumbling something about football practice, and he left.

`I didn`t think anything of it at the time. Harry was always a busy kid. But the next day, at school, i wouldn`t have expected...`

Blaine walked in the school doors, the sun shining, birds singing. It was another beautiful day. He walked towards his locker, and found Harry standing there next to it. He smiled at his friend, who nodded.

`Hey Harry.`

`Hi.`

`What`s up?`

`Can we talk..?`

Blaine blinked, but nodded. He followed Harry out the back doors, and to the alleyway behind the school. Blaine began to feel slightly uneasy; he always hated alleys.

`Harry, why are we here?`

Harry turned to him, glaring down at him. He snapped his fingers, and Blaine looked all around him; the rest of the football team came out from the shadows at all angles. Blaine`s heart began to pound, and he knew what was happening.

`H..Harry.. Why are you...`

Harry slapped him across the face, hard. Blaine gasped and lost his balance, falling to the ground. He looked up at the one person that had always been there, the one person that he trusted his whole life as he turned against him.

`You`re disgusting, Blaine. I thought you were normal.`

Blaine shook, blinking.

`N-Normal, what..?`

Some of the football players scoffed.

`You`re a fag, Anderson! That`s nasty, man!`

Blaine bit his lip, looking at all of the older, bigger boys coming towards him.

`It`s not like I chose this, I-`

He was silenced as a rock was thrown at him. He cried out in pain, but another came, and another, and another. They didn`t stop. The rocks pounded him, and he covered his face, screaming and writhing on the ground. One hit his forehead, causing it to bleed, and he was sure his shoulder was dislocated. Harry lifted his hand, and everyone stopped. He walked up to Blaine, picked him up, and took him to the nearest dumpster. He opened it, tossing Blaine against the metal wall of it, and all the boys laughed as he weakly cried, unable to move amongst the garbage. Harry spat on him, and some of the boys suddenly tossed slushies into the dumpster, hitting his open wounds, and he screamed again. They closed the dumpster door, and Blaine sat, crying. He shook uncontrollably, he had no one now. No one.

Kurt stared at his boyfriend in shock, tears filling his eyes.

`Blaine...`He whispered, kissing his neck lovingly, a tear slipping from his eye and onto his warm skin. Blaine bit his lip, sighing.

`Blaine, who found you in there?`

Blaine looked down sadly.

`Police.`

Kurt blinked solemnly.

`I was in there for two days Kurt. They broke a few of my ribs, my ankle, and my shoulder. I also had a major concussion. I couldn`t move at all. I passed out, and apparently some poor kids were looking for food, and opened the dumpster, and upon seeing me ran to the streets crying for help. A woman called the police and they came and took me to the hospital.`

Kurt snuggled his face into his boyfriend`s neck, holding him tighter, crying still, but just kept listening.

Blaine let out a shaky breath, running his hands through his boyfriend`s hair.

`I guess... I actually started cutting when...`

Blaine walked up to his locker, everyone staring at him, as always. It had been two months since the stoning. He always kept his head down, his mouth shut. He looked up at his locker, and the words fag, die, and please kill yourself were scrawled all over it with sharpie. He felt tears prick his eyes but he would not cry. He would not let them know it hurt. He opened his locker, grabbing his books and shut it. He began walking away from it, feeling the burning stares of everyone in the hallway. He went to his first class and sat in his regular desk; surrounded by all of the boys who had stoned him. One who sat behind him, Jacob, leaned forward.

`Why are you still alive, Anderson? Everyone hates you. Seriously, do the world a favor.`His whispers stung like knives, but Blaine showed no reaction. Another boy leaned in from the side, Alex.

`I agree with Jake. You`re a fucking embarassment. You shouldn`t exist. We all hate you. You disgusting piece of shit.`

Everyone kept whispering those awful things to him, taunting him, teasing him. He felt his heart going closer and closer to being on edge. Harry turned around and glared at him.

`I hope you die tonight.`

Blaine stared into his bright green eyes, and tears welled up in his own hazel ones. He closed his binder, zipping it up, grabbed his bag and stormed out of the room. The teacher called out at him to sit back down, but he ignored it. He ran. He bolted through the school doors, down the sidewalk, bolting back to his house.

Once he arrived, he opened the door, slamming it shut behind him. He panted heavily, his chest heaving, sweat dripping. His tears still fell fresh from his eyes, and he shook horribly. He ran up to his room after kicking off his shoes, and threw his bag on the floor, curling up on his bed. He cried loudly, his sobs causing a tremor through his whole body. He pulled off his button-down shirt, as well as his undershirt and walked towards his bathroom, aiming to have a shower. He looked in the mirror at his curly hair, his tear-streaked face, and he screamed, punching the mirror. The glass shattered, and fell all around his hand and to the ground. One piece, fell straight by his wrist and cut it a little, and he gasped as blood fell from the wound. His eyes glazed over as the pain became numb, and made his whole body tingle.

He picked up a piece of glass, twirling it over in his palms. Maybe this was the answer. Maybe he could make his slate of life clean if he punished himself for living in the first place. He put the glass to his wrist, pulling it across, and again, blood, and numbness. He blinked at his wrist, then shook his head; no, people would notice. He couldn`t do this there. He stared at the last piece of glass in the mirror, and stared at his chest. Flawless, soft skin. A waste of soft skin.

He put the glass to his chest and began to pull down. Blood fell from the wound, dripping down to the tile floor. He continued pulling, on his stomach, his chest, his sides, and a sick smile plastered itself onto his face. His body was buzzing with this glorious, numb feeling. It stung, but it felt so good at the same time. He looked up and blood was smeared on his arms, his chest, stomach, sides, his back. He pulled off his jeans, dropping the glass, and stepped in the shower. He hissed as the hot water hit the wounds, but he smiled as he saw the water turn red beneath him.

This was the beginning of a dark road ahead, one he didn`t even know was going to change him forever.

Blaine`s tears fell from his face, and he looked at the roof, refusing to look at Kurt.

`From that day on, it became something I did a few times every week. Soon enough, it was every night. I`d find myself in the bathroom with a knife, hacking at myself like a madman. After three years straight, it became an addiction...`

Kurt looked up, pulling Blaine`s face down slightly. He kissed his lips, salty tears mixing in with the taste of his mouth. Blaine put his arms around Kurt`s waist, licking his bottom lip. They both still cried, their tears mixing together. Kurt pulled back, leaning his forehead against his.

`God, Blaine... I want to take it all away... You really only had Harry when you were younger..?`

Blaine smiled weakly.

`Well, i did have four other friends when i was that age, but they moved after a few months of meeting them. Darren, Jessey, Glenda, and Tiara. They all came back into my life in grade seven, but they went to a different school, and we didn`t stay in contact much so they didn`t know I was being bullied. In Kindergarten until grade five i was bullied, called fat, ugly, stupid, all those other things, but Harry was the only person who stood up for me. As long as I had him by my side, the fact kids threw basketballs at me, or told me i didn`t deserve to live, i was fine. So what i was basically alone for 11 years? When we transferred in 6th grade, we were just so excited to be somewhere different together. I started making some more friends besides, Harry, but then he turned everyone against me at the start of grade eight because i told him my secret. I transferred schools in 9th grade, going to a different high school than him, but I kept cutting ever since i started in 8th grade. People talked to me, but i had no friends that would go out of their way to come talk to me. I wasn`t special. I was just kind of there. And then grade ten came, and everything seemed decently okay, and a guy even came into my life. He was really kind, a really sweet guy. In the end, he lead me on for months and then dumped me 5 days before christmas, leaving me for some guy. And he spread rumours about me everywhere. That`s when i transferred to Dalton. I joined the Warblers, became friends with Wes and David, and the bullying stopped... For the most part.`

Kurt`s eyebrows knitted together.

`The no-tolerance bullying policy...`

`That was for students at Dalton. I wasn`t bullied at the school. It was still kids from outside the school that continued to harass me. They called me, threatening me with death threats, told me i was a waste of skin, I`d be alone forever, never amount to anything, that everyone hated me. `

Kurt closed his eyes, shaking his head. He couldn`t understand how anyone could say these things to Blaine, Blaine of all people.

`It was a few months after dalton, when I got a call from Harry, telling me again that everyone hate`s me. And that night, I...`

Kurt looked up, staring at him, freezing. He knew what he was going to say.

`No..`

Blaine looked into his eyes.

`I attempted suicide that night Kurt.`

Wes and David walked through the halls, heading to Blaine`s room. They knocked on the door, but there was no answer. They glanced at each other in concern, and pulled out the master key, unlocking it. His belongings were broken and thrown everywhere, and there was a letter on his pillow. David picked it up and began to read it aloud.

Hey, whoever gives enough of a shit to find this,

I`m saying goodbye to you tonight. I can`t look in the mirror without being disgusted, And in all honesty, I`m just so sick of waiting for happiness to come when I know it`s not going to. I go to bed every night wishing I won`t wake up, but then the sun hits my eyes, and again, I`m alive. But i`m not even really living; i`m an empty, emotionless shell with a human body. I can walk and talk, but you can`t really live if you don`t feel, and I only feel when I put a knife to my skin. Pathetic, right? I`m sorry but I can`t do this anymore. I`m doing this for the benefit of everyone. I`m putting everyone out of their misery of having to see my pathetic, ugly face every day, dealing with my annoying voice, and i`m punishing myself for being a stupid excuse of a man. I send my thanks to Wes and David for being the first kind people I ever met, and for trying to help me be happy, and i`m sorry your efforts failed. I apologise to whoever has to clean my remains once I am found; i`ll probably be dead by the time you`re reading this. And most of all, i`m sorry to my parents, for being a disgrace to our family. Goodbye, everyone. I hope you`re all happier when i`m gone. I know everyone hates me. But that`s okay.

I hate me too.

-Blaine Anderson.

Wes and David looked at each other, wide-eyed. They had to find Blaine. They ran out of his room, bolting through the hallways. david ran to the nearest intercom phone and pushed the alarm button, and a foghorn-like sound blasted through the school. He whipped the phone off and put it to his ear.

`Attenion Dalton Academy, we have a Code 5 on our hands! Everyone get out there and search the entire building and school grounds for our fellow student, Blaine Anderson, and I mean NOW!`David put the phone down, and all of the dorm doors burst open, boys running out and bolting down the halls and yelling out Blaine`s name. Wes and David, nodded, running to the rooftop stairs. They burst past the door, bolting up as fast as they could. They pushed open the door to the rooftop, and screamed out Blaine`s name. They turned and saw him sitting there, sitting at the ledge, his legs dangling off. His head slowly turned and tears were still falling down his face.

`...Wes...David..`

They lifted their hands slowly.

`Blaine, move away from the edge.. You don`t have to do this...`

Blaine stood, glaring at them.

`Stop acting like you care! Nobody cares, everyone hates me, i`m a worthless, ugly, fat, pathetic FAG! Nobody will EVER care about me!`

Wes put his hands down, tears welling up in his eyes.

`That`s not true, Blaine. You are my best friend. You and David. You`re his too. Would we be here if we didn`t care, Blaine?`

Blaine shook his head.

`Stop lying to me.`

`We aren`t lying.`David`s smooth voice spoke out from behind Wes. `We`re telling you the truth, the most sincere, honest truth we can. You`re my best friend Blaine. Don`t do this.`

Blaine contemplated their words, drank them in. They spun through his head in a dizzy flurry, and he shook his head, his heel moving back. It suddenly began to rain, hard. Blaine looked up at the sky, smiling darkly.

`Look, even the sky is sad i`m still here..`

`Blaine, please.`

Blaine shook his head, his heel moving back further, and he shifted his weight, his body falling back. David screamed, running towards him. He leaned over the ledge, grabbing Blaine`s wrist. Wes grabbed David`s legs, and Blaine just stared up at David, watching as he held onto his wrist as if his life depended on it. Blaine looked down at the ground, where students had begun to gather, screaming, pointing up at the scene. His eyes closed and he suddenly fainted mid-air. David and Wes pulled him up, with the help of Jeff, who had run up as soon as he had heard the commotion. They all carried Blaine down to David`s room, where he would be safely watched until he woke up. Wes sat on a chair, crying heavily, and David just hugged him tightly. Wes never cried. David simply held him and told him that Blaine would be fine, but he couldn`t help the tears on his own face. That was a scary event, nearly watching their best friend fling himself off a roof, plummeting to his death. They looked at the sleeping boy and sighed.

They needed to help him, in any way they could.

`... After that, they had me have counselling sessions every day, and i had to go to intense therapy. I was under suicide watch for four months after that. I kept cutting, but nobody really noticed that part. I just did it in a way nobody would notice...`

Blaine looked at Kurt, who was just staring at him, his face full of sadness and pain, and he just threw himself onto Blaine, kissing him, running his hands on his arms, chest, neck, anywhere he could touch. Blaine did the same, rubbing Kurt`s back.

Kurt pulled back, burying his face in his neck.

`God, Blaine, w-why.. I can`t believe I wasn`t there... You didn`t deserve any of this, none of it... Nothing... You don`t deserve sadness or anything, you deserve joy, and happiness, and everything that is good in life. Everything that`s good...`

Blaine smiled, lifting Kurt`s face.

`See, Kurt... It took a while to get there, but one day, at Dalton, I was heading to a Warbler assembly. Just like any other day. But someone stopped me on the staircase and asked me what was going on, and already, I knew he was going to change my life in a big way. Every day I spent with this boy, I began to realize how happy he made me, how much fun we had together, and how beautiful he was, inside and out. I took a long road to realize it, but I was in love with him when I first met him; I was just too oblivious to see it. But he waited, for me, of all the people in the world, this perfect, amazing, ray of sunshine waited for me. And as I watched him singing blackbird, I realized how blind i`d been. And I knew I had to make my move, and soon. And then I did. And I kissed him. And never in my life had anything ever felt so right. Fireworks burst and my body tingled, and my heart was pouding, and i swear i had a million butterflies, that multiplied to a billion when he put his hand on my face and kissed back. And as long as I have him in my life, my life will continue getting happier every day, because he is everything that is good in life.`

Kurt`s tears poured from his eyes, now of joy. He smiled rubbing his nose against Blaine`s.

`He sounds nice. you`ll have to introduce him to me sometime.`

Blaine just laughed, kissing him again. Kurt ran his hands up Blaine`s chest and felt a soft bump. He pulled back gently, glancing down.

`Blaine... Can... Can I...`

Blaine let out a breath through his nose, knowing his question. He sat up, causing Kurt to sit up as well. He pulled off his undershirt, and Kurt sucked in a breath. There were fresh cuts on his side, and there were scars all from his chest in a dark brown and pink flurry down to the waistband of his pants. Some were even on his shoulders and arms. He ran his hands over them, and Kurt leaned in, kissing his chest. Blaine closed his eyes, tears falling again. He kissed down to the waist band of his pants, kissing all the scars he could see. He then gently took Blaine`s left wrist in his hand, flipping it over, seeing the two scars, clear as day. He kissed each of them, rubbing his face gently against his wrist.

`I love you Blaine. You`re better than all of these. But they also are just like a book, written in you. These aren`t scars... These are battle wounds. They`re proof you`ve survived the battle against the world that people put you through. They don`t make you weak, they make you stronger. They make you better. They`re part of you.`

Kurt looked up at him, smiling. He put a hand on Blaine`s cheek, stroking it with his thumb.

`They`re beautiful. These aren`t imperfections.`

Blaine`s tears streamed down his face unabashedly. He hugged Kurt tightly, kissing his neck, whispering mumbled `i love you`s`, and `thank you so much`, over and over. Kurt just ran his hands through Blaine`s un-gelled curls, and nuzzled against his neck.

`You`re perfect, Blaine Anderson.`

Blaine cried into his shoulder, all the tears he never got to cry to anyone, all the things he never said to anyone, pouring out of him. All the broken feelings, the lonely feelings, the pain, the hurt, the anger, the shame, all of it came out, bursting like a waterfall into an ocean. He just held on to Kurt, crying well into the early afternoon, content to just let out all of his pain he had never shown to the one person that truly loved him.

Kurt Hummel.

Okay, I think this is one of my longer chapters... Like, it seems REALLY long... Well, i guess that makes up for the last two really short chapters.

Please review. This chapter was really hard for me to write, actually, so reviews would mean a lot. I really want to know what you guys think.

-Echo.