Author's Note:
Hello.
Thank you all for the reviews, I appreciate every single one of them.
A lot of you were quite shocked as to where I left the last chapter and...Well...I warned you to have tissues on hand for good reasons.
Alright, ready for this one?
Let's start.
Xox
What happened next was a blur to Clary.
She had told the woman on the phone that Luke was having a heart attack because there was no other explanation. She gave the address and soon after hanging up. She heard the wail of sirens. Clary stood robotically to open the door and let the paramedics in. She went to the kitchen and poured herself a glass of water, sipping at it while they used complicated phrases and she heard the beep of machines.
She had never felt so lost before and she didn't like it. She sipped her water, doing something normal to distract from the pain within her heart. When one of the Paramedics came in and told her they were taking Luke to the hospital she nodded and said she had to make a phone call and would be there very soon.
She pulled out her mobile and dialled the all too familiar number, telling that person where to meet her and hanging up. She left the apartment; locking toe door with the key left on the hook and hailed a cab to the hospital.
Sitting in the back it all hit her, more so than it had when Luke had begun acting funny.
Hot tears fell silently down her cheeks as she realised how stupid she was to not go in the ambulance with him, to hold him and tell him it would all be okay.
What if I am too late?
#####
"Luke Garroway, he came in recently." Clary was desperate, her knuckles white from her grip on the Nurse's station. She was going through a list of patients, too slow for Clary's liking. She couldn't help but think that Luke could be dead by the time that she found him.
"Ah," She finally said looking up at Clary triumphantly. "I found him. May I see your I.D?"
What? What kind of stupid question was that?
"I don't have it."
"Oh, well we are in a bind. I cannot let you see him unless you are an immediate family member."
Clary gritted her teeth, she had never been so angry before at someone she didn't know. How could this woman, this heartless cow, stand here and ask for ID and then stop Clary from seeing Luke when he was all alone and possibly dying.
"There is nothing I can do unfortunately; you are going to have to wait until visiting hours." She looked back at her screen and Clary fumed.
"I'm sorry, I didn't realise that my identity took priority over a dying man. Next time I will be sure to grab my purse before calling an ambulance to help someone again. How silly of me to put life above anything else." The nurse looked up, eyebrows raised.
"Listen—"
"No, you listen. That man is the only family I have left; I don't need an I.D to tell me that now you tell me where he is right now!"
The nurse blinked, stunned.
"Are you a family member?" She asked again and Clary could have hit her.
"I'm his—" Clary thought about it. What was she to Luke? She could have been a family member if it weren't for her father, she hadn't known him long but she knew she wasn't ready to lose him. She looked at the nurse steadily and said, with complete and utter conviction and honesty what she was to Luke Garroway. "I'm his daughter."
The Nurse looked at Clary, up and down as if trying to find a resemblance and then, with a sigh told her Luke's room number. Clary didn't bother asking directions, she ran to the elevators, bobbing on her heels in impatience. When it came to pressed the third floor, assuming that he was in room 305 he would be on the third floor and then, thinking it over again, pressed the fourth floor button.
She tore out the elevator, quickly looking at the signs and seeing that she was right and she ran down the hallways, like hell was chasing her, to Luke. She found him and stood a moment outside of the door, catching her breath and then walking in.
He wasn't alone.
There was an older man there, writing something down on a sheet attached to a clip board. He was dressed nicely with a white coat thrown over him. He turned and saw Clary standing there and when she saw the look in his eyes, she knew that what she was denying was true.
He motioned for her to go out to the hallway with him, Luke had his eyes closed and Clary watched as she walked out with the doctor for any sign of life.
The doctor stood with her just outside the door, looking down at her. He had grey hair and grey eyes to match. He was middle aged and had a scar up the right side of his face. He held out his hand to Clary, she just stared at it, like it was a demon. He put his hand back down to his side and began to speak, gaining Clary's full attention.
"I'm Doctor Starkweather and I looked at Lucian upon arrival—"
"Lucian?"
"Yes, his full name." He looked at Clary confused.
"Oh, of course. Sorry, continue."
"As I was saying, I looked at Luke," he said this time but Clary barely noticed. She kept looking through the little window in Luke's door, in case he woke up. "He suffered a heart attack and he nearly died, but we were able to stabilise him enough so that..." The Doctor trailed off and Clary snapped her gaze back to him registering the look in his eyes.
"So that what?"
"So that someone had a chance to say goodbye."
Clary's eyes widened and the doctor continued to speak, but it was like a distant echo. She felt light headed and she had a disgusting taste in her mouth that she just wanted to spit out. She tried to concentrate on the Doctor, but only caught snippets of what he was saying. Something about his heart giving up and it being his time, Clary wasn't really paying attention, she should have been but she got the gist of what he was saying and with that came a knot in her stomach that threatened to consume her. She didn't want to stand out here with him, she wanted to go into that room and demand that Luke fight for his life, he couldn't leave her now.
Just like everybody else...
The Doctor looked at her sadly and finished what he is saying.
"I'm very sorry for your loss."
Clary jerked and glared at the Doctor.
"He is not lost, not yet." She huffed and barged into the room, shutting the door firmly behind her. She made her way slowly over to Luke's bed, noticing the steady beat coming from the heart monitor and breathing in a breath of relief.
Clary moved to the side of the bed that Luke barely occupied and lay down. Her back was propped against the rails and her legs stretched out. She didn't know what else to do but wait. She looked down at Luke and saw the grey hue on his skin and she felt tears bubble to the surface and suddenly she felt angry.
"Dammit Luke," She said, wiping her tears away. "How can you do this to me? I need you. You can't go, not now, not before anything has happened. I need you, just like my Mother needed you. Please Luke, wake up, don't go. Live. For me." Clary couldn't speak anymore, she moved her knees and wrapped her arms around them as they pressed into her chest, bowing her head and crying. She didn't care that she was wearing a dress and if someone came in they could see the scanty underwear she was wearing. She didn't care that she was in her twenties and crying like a little child. She didn't care that she barely knew Luke and that he wasn't her actual father.
She didn't care because none of it mattered. All that mattered, right now, was that Luke was dying and Clary needed to say goodbye. She wanted to say goodbye.
"Clarissa?" As if he could hear her thoughts, Luke grasped Clary's hand and she turned eyes wide and full of unshed tears. His voice had been weak and raspy.
"Luke," Clary moved so that she could wrap Luke in a hug. "I was worried you weren't going to wake up."
"Of course I would, I was just listening to you with my eyes shut."
Clary choked out a laugh, running her fingers through Luke's hair.
"Why Luke?"
"Why what?"
"Why are you just giving up like this?"
"It's my time Clarissa."
"No, you can fight this."
"No," He said with finality. "I can't."
"Luke, please," She whispered desperately through the tears. "Stay with me. I need you."
"Clary, can you do something for me?"
"Anything."
"Sing me a song."
"A song?"
"Any song, a nice song."
"Why?"
"Your Mother used to always sing a song to you before you went to sleep, do you remember it?"
He started humming a tune and familiar words rose up in Clary's memory.
"I remember the song."
"Can you sing it to me?"
"I can't sing."
"Everyone can sing. Please?"
Clary sighed and moved so that she was more comfortable, her arm around Luke's shoulders, his head resting on her elbow. She closed her eyes, tears leaking from them, and remembered the song from so long ago.
"I remember tears streaming down your face
When I said, I'll never let you go
When all those shadows almost killed your light
I remember you said, Don't leave me here alone
But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight
Just close your eyes
The sun is going down
You'll be alright
No one can hurt you now
Come morning light
You and I'll be safe and sound
Don't you dare look out your window darling
Everything's on fire
The war outside our door keeps raging on
Hold onto this lullaby
Even when the music's gone
Just close your eyes
The sun is going down
You'll be alright
No one can hurt you now
Come morning light
You and I'll be safe and sound
Just close your eyes
You'll be alright
Come morning light,
You and I'll be safe and sound..."
"I always loved that song." Luke remarked in a sleepy voice. Clary looked down at him in alarm, his eyes were drooping, she shook him a little and his eyes snapped open.
"Luke," Clary said, her tears spilling onto his cheek. "You can't leave me. Not now. I need you Luke; I need you to stay with me."
"Clary," He said, his eyelids lowering as he did so, his voice like a breath. "Remember who you are."
Clary was about to ask him what that was supposed to mean, she was Clary Fray, orphan. Then a sound drifted through the room and Clary moved Luke gently and knelt, looking down at his face, sobs raggedly coming from her throat. Tears spilling freely like a waterfall and her hands tight in the blanket.
"Luke," She was saying, quiet, desperate. "Luke, come back."
It was too late though. What was before her was the body of Luke Garroway, an empty shell. He was gone, he had left her and he wasn't coming back. Doctor Starkweather came into the room, alerted by the noise, and took in Clary's position and Luke's to still form.
"Time of death," He murmured, writing on his stupid notes. "11:15 p.m."
He switched off all of the machines and looked at Clary as if he were going to ask her to leave, but thinking better of it, he left her there with the empty shell of Luke.
The single flat line beep had finally stopped, but Clary could still hear it resonating in her ears.
#####
She sat there, unmoving, her eyes wide and tearless for what felt like hours, but when she checked the time it was only midnight. She was finally able to move, placing on last kiss on Luke's forehead before going out into the corridor to let the Doctor do what he needed to do.
She functioned like a robot, got herself some coffee and sat in the waiting area, waiting to find out what to do next. She was startled when hands pressed on her knees and she looked away from her coffee and into Jace's golden eyes. She vaguely remembered calling him, in what felt like another life.
"Clary," he said softly, not moving his eyes from hers. "I am so sorry."
She put her Styrofoam cup down on the vacant seat next to her and moved, Jace moving with her, until she was on her knees in front of him. She forgot about their arguments that day, forgot about everything that had happened. She needed Jace right now. Needed the warmth his touch brought her. Needed to distraction of his kiss.
She needed him like she had never needed him before.
She moved closer to him and pressed her lips gently to his, his response was hesitant at first until he too sunk into the kiss. She grabbed his hair and pulled him closer, trying to ignore the tears that were coming. She didn't want to let go of Jace, not now not ever, but she knew that she would have to.
She pulled back and saw the sympathy in his gaze.
"Clary, come home." He said softly and she knew he didn't just mean because she needed to get out of the hospital. She had scared him when she told him she would move out, she could see in his eyes that no matter how cold he had been, Clary meant something to him, she meant a lot to him and he didn't want her to leave.
"They need to speak to me." She answered his unspoken question.
Come home with me Clary?
His eyes had asked.
"No, they said you can come back tomorrow." Clary wasn't sure, she just stared at Jace and she finally figured out why she wasn't immediately running into his arms, losing herself in passion. She wanted to hear him say it, like he had in the car, hear the words.
You mean a lot to me.
She didn't want to see it in his eyes; she wanted to hear it come from him. He finally understood.
"Clary," He began, taking her hands in his. "Please come home with me, I—" He stopped talking and Clary was about to take her hands away when he started again. "I need you Clary. I...I care too much about you to just let you walk away."
Clary smiled slightly, she thought that she would never smile again, and leant forward, pressing her lips softly to Jace's.
She nodded and they both stood and left the hospital, hand in hand.
I had to give you a sweet ending considering what I just did.
So, some people were convinced that Luke would pull through and I wasn't going to let him die.
So sorry, but there is a reason for me being so heartless.
Perhaps I will tell you...
Review?
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