We tried to get back to a normal life. Tried to. Nick's memory, after he'd ht his head, hadn't really returned much and for him, a 'normal life' was different, and however much I wanted him to be back to his old self, he couldn't seem to let go of that. He didn't know Forestwatch and didn't feel much connection with it. Nick preferred New York. Matt wanted to stay in Forestwatch or Stonehaven, he was having the time of his life on summer holidays, so we agreed to leave him for a week with Elena while we went into the city to wait for Ana to show up.
It'd made it hard- he didn't know how to change nappies, struggled with the triplets, and with feeding. We'd eventually ended up staying in the apartment in New York. Antonio helped me out, working from home a little longer, as Nick spent more time out and about rediscovering his city. I didn't like it much, I had to admit, I felt a bit jealous as he went out to bars and nightclubs. The only reassurance I had about it was that, even if women had scents on him, he never slept with them or kissed them. This was just something I had to deal with while he recovered.
Antonio wasn't pleased by that either. But Nick's memory remained fixed on thirty, even if his body didn't, like he didn't want to give this up.
But he tried. He played with the kids, adored them, and always came home, rolling into bed on top of me, Nick's adrenaline saved all night for one person only. This part of it I never minded, the thrill of that sudden waking, lips pressing hard on mine in the darkness, clothes being slid off even as he tried to tease me, the swell of sweat and other women ignored and forgotten as I reclaimed him over and over. Keeping quiet was a problem- all three toddlers slept in the room with us- but maybe they didn't mind. They never seemed to wake, in fact, they were more likely to wake during the night if Nick wasn't around.
Another night, the night before Ana flew in, and it ended up being myself and Antonio in the spare room, making the two single beds with fresh sheets, his annoyance with Nick reaching an all time high. Nick hadn't wanted to work either, which was a problem when he had a job in Antonio's company, and I'd ended up trying to fill in for him from home. With triplets. It didn't work.
"Sorry." Antonio muttered as he caught me staring at the clock, one in the morning, the two of us exhausted and flopped on the couch. Bedroom ready here for her, food pre-cooked for tomorrow as I'd be too busy to do it, and Nick still out somewhere. "He tended to be a little less ..."
"I know. He wasn't responsible anyway." I shrugged it off, yawning, flopping onto a cushion there. He tended to get this way anyway, with money, with food, with spoiling us, and I was too tired to care anyway. "Not your fault."
"He'll have to go back to Forestwatch in a few days for the triplet's birthday. I'll tie him up if he doesn't go." Antonio smiled somewhat, rubbing his forehead. "My son isn't missing his kid's second birthday."
"I'll hold you to that. I don't have a party planned."
"We do. Jungle themed." Antonio reassured me. "The sad thing is, I was just as bad as he was when I had him at that age. Now I can't stop thinking ...how idiotic he's being. And he's doing exactly what I used to do. Run out, be reckless, forget that he's got kids to care for."
"You were?" I opened my eyes to gaze at the older man. "You treat the triplets like an expert."
"It's different being the grandparent." He replied. Tugged one of my feet up, throwing the shoe over, rubbing my feet. Another intimate thing that humans might have found odd, maybe, but for us ...it was normal. A relief for me too. "I was just a single father then with a little kid I had no idea how to raise, my freedom gone before I was twenty, and I had to lea-" He cut off, lips tightening slightly, eyes drifting away from me. "It wasn't easy doing it alone. I just wanted to... do what Nick's doing. Ignore him. He reminded me of his mother too much."
"Did you hire a nanny?"
Antonio shook his head. "We were in our family home. No humans allowed. It was all pack raising him."
"Bunch of men raising a toddler. Sounds like something you'd hear in a Hollywood film." I muttered and I felt him relax at that.
"My own father, if he could see Nick, would be amused. I probably caused him the same stress as Nick's causing me now." Antonio stopped rubbing my sore feet, standing up, stretching. He came across, bending down to kiss my forehead affectionately, and yawned. "I'm going to sleep."
"I'll see you tomorrow. Night."
I woke myself, still on the couch, when I felt arms lifting me up, Nick's scent and some kind of alcohol filling my nostrils.
"Sleeping out here?" He asked, softly. I nuzzled into his neck, yawning, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. "Should be in bed."
"Welcome home. Where'd you go this time?"
Nick told me as he lowered me into bed, tugging my clothing off, shrugging his own off. We were both too exhausted to try it tonight, he seemed to be struggling to stay awake as much as I was, a lazy grin on his face. He was in a good mood tonight.
I tried to ignore the fear in me, in the pit of my stomach, that maybe he'd …
But he wouldn't.
Would he?
Of course not. I shoved it down, snuggling against him, ignoring the smell of several women against him. Dancing wasn't sex. I had to calm down.
Fingers looped through mine, squeezing my hand, as I heard him murmur 'I love you', sleep taking us both.
Still, as I fell asleep, I felt something there. Discontent. Jealousy. Worry. Nick had resumed a part of his life and left me out of it.
We sat side by side in the JFK airport, watching luggage circle around, waiting patiently for the teenage Ana to come off and meet us at the agreed spot near the baggage collection.
I saw someone else first though. I stood up, blinking, not really believing what I was seeing.
Ray?
"Ah, my Australian Rose. You did not call me." Ray captured me in a hug and a very friendly kiss, perhaps a bit too much of one, because his eyes went over me to Nick. I didn't have to look back to know that Nick had probably stiffened at this. "Is this your-"
"Mate." Nick said. He tried to smile and polite when I glanced back. "I mean, husband. Nick. Nice to meet you." He held out his hand.
"I met Ray in Rio. Sorry..." I turned to Ray, scratching my head, feeling a bit sheepish. "I got a bit sick and had to leave quickly. It's a nice surprise to see you."
"I heard Ana was coming up here and thought I would come. See New York. Have a little fun. With, of course, the permission of your alpha. He approved New York." He was shaking Nick's hand before he stepped back.
"Not many mutts are allowed." Nick muttered. "And it's a she now. Elena."
"Really? I will ask your new alpha."
"Ray's not like American mutts. He's a little different." I explained softly to Nick. "Where's Ana?"
"Toilet. She comes soon." Ray shrugged and gestured to the purple bag over one shoulder. "So what do I call you, Rose?"
"Anne. Sorry about lying about my name, I had to be careful."
"With good reason." He nodded. Ray stepped closer to touch my hair, fingering the dark red-blonde, and I remembered it'd been some fake blonde last time. Hair dye had fixed that problem at first and now it was more or less grown back. "Rose suits you better. Still fragrant, thorns hidden, and your hair suits you now. Let me see you."
He stood back, eyes going up and down my body, clearly not hiding his approval. It amused me. But only for a moment, when I felt Nick's body tense against my arm, his lack of memory starting to bother him worse than usual.
"How did you two meet?" Nick spoke up, eyes going from me to Ray, sharper now that Ray had touched me.
"Is that her bag? Want me to carry it?" I could see it in his face, the jealousy there, not so much suspicion of me but the 'trespass of wolf territory' expression starting to build.
Ray handed me the purple bag. "In Rio. Upstairs. A misunderstanding that brought us together, yes?" He grinned at me, perfect white teeth, reminding me of how I'd met him. Being groped by him downstairs in the bar and him thinking that me running for upstairs was actually 'Come and get me'. Guess that might have been my mistake as much as his. "She has a nice-"
Luckily Ana appeared at that point. I gawked her as she jogged towards us. The chances the two years had made showing. She didn't have the remains of a 'cat shape' to her head anymore, something humans might have called deformed, nose become human, the markings gone, though she still reminded me of a cat somehow, maybe it was her long limbs or the incredible grace she had even as she was jogging with a clunky suitcase behind her. She took a moment to find Ray in the crowd as she froze, dark eyes sliding across the room, before she caught sight of us.
"Hi!" Ana closed the last few metres fast, dodging around other people, and skidded up. "You have different hair."
"So do you." I stared at her gorgeous hair. Last time I'd seen it, it'd been sleek, straight, long. Now it was an incredible halo of thick dark brown curls inches and twisted back as much as Ana could manage into a ponytail.
"I stopped using hair straightener." She explained as she touched it. Ana may have lived in a small village in Brazil, sure, but that hadn't meant she was in a third world village. She'd had internet, phones and apparently even a hair straightener. "Do you like it?"
"It's beautiful like that. Right, have we got everything?"
We headed outside to the taxi and piled in, suitcases in the back, everyone in the front, allowing Ana the front seat so that he could see New York. This meant that Ray was squeezed in beside me, Nick on the other side, a slightly awkward arrangement all the way into the city. Nick only relaxed when Ray was dropped off, and then only briefly, because I agreed to go out with Ray and 'show him the city'. With Nick, I added, as Nick nudged me from the side, as I wrote down my number for Ray. He was the expert. I didn't know the city very well.
"Of course." Ray leaned down to kiss me again, twice on the cheeks and once on the lips, before he dropped some notes in for his share of the fare. "I have your number." He shut the door, waved, and headed into the hotel.
"Yes you do." Nick muttered. He shot me a look which I ignored.
We headed back to Nick's apartment, slid out, and helped Ana with her stuff. She was too busy gawking at the city to really pay attention to us, and this got worse when we got to the apartment and Ana could see out of it.
"It's amazing!" She was sliding her camera phone out and was taking photos. "Where do I sleep?"
We showed her, the spare room not yet converted for kids, but it now had two single beds instead of one big bed. Matt came here occasionally with me and when he did, he preferred it if I slept in the room with him. He might have recovered from his bite but he still viewed the world in the way a young wolf would. Having a familiar person nearby made it easier for him to relax. I suspected he'd almost have wished all of us slept in there, Nick and Antonio too, but he was content with me. That would have to change when he was older.
"We'll be staying in New York for a few more days." I let her know as she stared out her giant window. "So we can show you around. But we've got to head back for the triplet's birthday."
She nodded and continued to take photos. Then, at the sound of high pitched laughter nearby, Ana's head shot up. "Are they here?"
I nodded and led her into our room. Antonio was sitting there, trying to keep all three occupied, smiling a greeting at us as we came in.
"This is Ana. Ana, this is Antonio, their grandfather. My father in law."
While Ana and Nick played with the toddlers, I headed into the kitchen with Antonio, trying to help him get dinner out for everyone. This was why I'd precooked last night. As I was getting it heated up I got a text from Ray. He apparently wanted to go out that night and wanted me to take him somewhere.
"We've got another mutt in town." I told Antonio as we threw the big baking dish in the oven, dropped some veges onto a tray above it, and shut it.
"Oh? Do you know who it is?"
"Ray, from Brazil. The one that helped us out a little." I slid back. "He'll ask Elena for permission to stay for a holiday. He's trying to get me to go out tonight but-"
"Can't hurt. Nick can take you two out. Ana will be exhausted and the triplets will be asleep." Antonio added, as I tried to argue, "And you're always watching him go out without you. So go with him for once."
"Go where?" Nick asked as he came in, one baby in arms, the other two following Ana as she came in after him. He nuzzled against Lily, affectionate, a sight that made my heart warm a little, her tiny pigtails re-done. Probably by Nick.
"You're going to take Ray out tonight." Antonio told him.
"Can I come?" Ana asked, sitting at the bench, yawning even as she said it.
"Sorry, not to a bar." I replied and she frowned, but just for a moment, her eyes going to Antonio.
"Can we order pizza tonight then? I see it in movies all the time."
"Anne cooked." Antonio shook his head, but I took one look at her, the disappointment there...
"It's not even warm yet. Just throw it back in the fridge and let the veges cook. We'll get pizza." I wasn't sure if she'd stay awake long enough to wait, she kept yawning, but it seemed like a good idea. I hadn't had pizza for ages either. "You guys order it and I'll let Ray know we're going. Where do you want to meet him, Nick?"
Nick frowned at me, crossing his arms. "Who said I wanted to take him anywhere?"
"I did." Antonio spoke up. "Anne's going too."
Nick did not like that. He glanced from me to his dad, slightly accusing, as if he had decided we were working together in some devious plot. "I'll pick him up outside the hotel. At ten."
"Okay. I'll let him know."
"Do you have to come?" Nick's words made me freeze. He was still frowning at me, arms crossed. "It would be better if you stayed here."
"She's going with you for once." The warning from Antonio was there, even with a light voice, the older man fixing his son with a hard look. "Go ahead and let him know, Anne, we'll get the pizzas and get these three fed before they start gnawing on us."
The taxi ride was quiet, Nick wasn't looking at me, his arms crossed. He was annoyed. I could tell, I knew he was, but everytime I tried to talk to him, he ignored me. He'd dressed in his usual latest fashion, not answered when I asked him what I should wear, and I'd given up. A thin white dress with thin straps, high black boy shorts underneath, because I felt odd without it, black heels. Hair loose. He'd actually had the balls to tell me it was too short. It came mid thigh! The shorts were apparently too high cut. I'd actually yanked them up higher my legs when he said that, challenging him as I did it, eyes fixed in his.
It hurt. Ray's appearance just made Nick even crankier, not looking at me or Ray, his arms crossing tighter.
"Ready to dance, Rose?" Ray called and I nodded, smiling a weak smile.
It wasn't hard to get in, Nick was fucking gorgeous, clearly known. Ray looked pretty good too, apparently, the girls in the line to get in were giving him those hungry looks I only associated with Nick. The second we got in and got a table, Nick was gone into the crowd, and I was left behind with Ray.
"You all right?" Ray hesitated before getting up, glancing at me as I sat there.
"Yes." I needed a drink. "Are you going to the bar?"
"I'll bring you a drink." Ray was gone before I could ask him for something else and I relaxed back, watching the dancers. It was nearly eleven now, the crowd thick, the scents and smells of humans, sweat, desire, alcohol, soft moans in corners... dim lighting...
And Nick's voice. Laughter. Feminine voices. My head twisted up, seeing him in the middle of the heated humans, already dancing with a woman, relaxed now. He avoided me, avoided my eyes, as she ground against him, the glint of sweat on both their brows. It was like a scene out of Dirty Dancing, with the music, it was like sex with clothing on.
No wonder why he always looked so damn satisfied when he was done.
Maybe I was overreacting, maybe it wasn't that bad, but it bothered me. I narrowed my eyes, taking the alcohol as Ray brought it over, already knowing that this night was going to go badly. It was already bad enough for me to ignore the pretty cocktail. Did she have to … and he …
"Let's dance." I stood, swallowing it fast, grabbing the older man and dragging Ray out. "I don't know how but..."
"Just trust me. " Ray promised. He glanced at Nick, raising an eyebrow as my 'mate' danced with another woman, understanding dawning in his face. "I know. You are not interested but … Jealous, yes?"
I nodded. Inhaled sharply as one of the woman's nails traced across Nick's face. "Is it obvious?"
"Come on." He grabbed me, and I let the Brazilian invade a close space usually reserved for one person only, ignored the humans pressing in on all sides, the pounding music filling my head and body.
"Relax your legs and spine. Trust me." Ray pressed his lips against my neck, teasing me, his strange smell and warmth bizarre after only being this close to Nick. When my head turned in Nick's direction, I felt Ray's hand turn it back to me. "Ignore him. Eyes in mine. You look amazing. Other men will notice."
I met Ray's eyes, dark in the flashing lights, his tanned skin and dark hair glistening in the light, and trusted him. Maybe it was an act of desperation, I didn't know, maybe the alcohol. I suddenly wanted to learn how to dance properly. Hips, move hips, shoulders back a little more, my body fully recovered from pregnancy and toned from training with Clayton, far more curvy than most of the women there. Apparently, according to Ray, this was an advantage in a place like this with leggy underweight girls, because I looked like a female, and I'd feel hands brushing across a hip, or an arm, or even across my behind... a natural, apparently, a natural dancer. I just ...had more things to wriggle.
Nick had noticed. And it hadn't changed a thing. He was popular here, the women knew and loved him, and I'd see him head in my direction, only to be yanked away by a different woman. Some of them I knew by their smells, I'd smelt them on him before, but I barely had time to think about it.
I did what he said, as he whispered it in my head, dancing with him in the beat, getting lost in it. There was something about dancing, something I'd never realised existed, the sound of heartbeats around us, blood pumping, the scent of desire and arousal, some of it even directed at me. Me! I could feel eyes, the occasional attempt to peel me away from Ray, even as we went to the bar for more drinks, and after an hour of dancing, drinking shots, heads fuzzy with alcohol, we decided it was time for me to go to the next 'offer'.
"Don't let them bring you drinks." Ray told me, between hard breathing, his body sweating. "Buy your own. Some men here are not safe."
The next offer was another man, probably attractive too, this one more hands on than Ray had been. Human. Ray clearly had been careful, not too touchy, avoiding as much conflict with Nick as he could. This man didn't know. Another time, when I was more sober, I might have ...I didn't know, hit him, as knees found places, hands brushed across places, lips whispering things. This seemed to happen with most of the dancers, even if I didn't return the words or caresses, finding that it wasn't just werewolves that enjoyed it when a woman played 'cold'.
Nick vanished for a while, I knew it, gone. Fifteen minutes. Twenty minutes. I drank. I couldn't dance. When he reappeared, I was thoughtly drunk, struggling to stay upright, though it wasn't something that mattered much with men who gladly led.
Ray had moved off, popular, his accent and his dancing stealing dancers, a charming grin, much more direct caresses, paying for alcohol... I watched him, when he passed by, winking at me as he had a blonde, or a brunette, or a red head at one point. He had standards though, he avoided the women who were too drunk, always making sure a woman saw the drink poured as he paid for it, a gentleman. And they loved it. Drinks continued to be bought, I bought them for myself now, getting too drunk to care about the pretty shots.
I felt another body press up against me from behind, another dancer stealing me, turning around. I'd half hoped it was Nick but I knew it wasn't. Another man, blonde, a human version of Clayton. Urgh. I could smell the dye in his hair as he ground against me, did what I was told to do during dancing, his hands running along my backside as he tugged a leg up around his hips.
Nick was nearby, I could smell him, catching a glimpse of him between two women, his hands on them, teasing their skin with his lips, eyes drifting up and catching me. He seemed to get me at that exact moment, a leg around another man's hips, being ground against, the man's hand running along my bare thigh... and something snapped in his face.
He grabbed me, yanking me out of the room, arm crushing my arm as he dragged me out, dragged me into the back of the room.
I yanked back, wrenching his hand off my arm, angry at him. So he was jealous. So what? He got to do this all the damn time. Every night he came home smelling like them. Jumping on top of me, getting out his frustration that he couldn't get satisfied here, then expecting me to be happy. Happy? Ha!
"Fuck off, Nick. Go back to your whores." I spat, turning on him, heading back into the crowd.
Nick grabbed me, dragging me against him, his breathing hard as his arms wrapped around me in the crowded floor, ignoring my resistance as he ground against me, clearly much less drunk than I was. More controlled.
"Let go."
"Dance with me." He growled. "Me. Not him. Not any of them."
"You're missed." I glanced at him, to the two women he'd been dancing against, now dancing against each other, one of them trying to pull him back into their middle. I wriggled free, sliding out, finding another man quite happy to take Nick's place. So it was irresponsible. Who cared anymore? I was done being responsible for one night. Always home, getting peed on by Dominic, or getting another lovely whiff of poo, while Nick was here.
Nick grabbed me again, the song Closer coming on, refusing to let go, his eyes locked in mine, lips against my skin, trying to kiss me. I rejected him, hurt, jealous of what he'd been doing with them, struggling to dance.
"Turn the music up in here, I still hear her loud and clear, Like she's right there in my ear, Telling me that she wants to own me, To control me..."
Funny, how when you were angry with each other, it made the dancing better. Harder. Rougher. Like we could push each other, bite each other, growl, shove, and we could take it. Humans had no clue. I heard him, his lips tracing the words of the song as we shoved and danced and ground, growling, unaware of any single other person in the room beside each other.
"And I just can't pull my self away, Under her spell I can't break, I just can't stop."
Nick's teeth dug in harder, as I tried to escape, arms closing around me, pulling my back against his front, growling and spinning me around again, our bodies grinding against each other.
"I can feel her on my skin, I can taste her on my tongue, She's the sweetest taste of sin, The more I get the more I want, She wants to own me."
"Closer." Nick kissed me then, hard, shoving me against a wall, hands sliding up my dress in the room, as the song finished.
I tasted it then. Someone else. Someone else there, in his mouth, a woman. Her mouth. Her scent. Her fluids. Against his mouth.
The world shattered then, I shattered, my world falling apart. I shoved at him hard.
"Go. Go with them then. You're not obligated to a wife you don't remember." I backed up, backed up fast, stumbling into the crowd, turning and leaving him there.
"I've created a monster." Ray's voice came from behind me, laughing as I turned to face him. "Enough dancing tonight. They won't forget you, Rose."
"I could keep going."
"If you do, I think your mate might loose his cool." He narrowed his eyes ovr my shoulder, pulling me backwards, a low growl coming from Nick. The girls laughed. "Enough. Go home. I'll take you to a taxi and then come back in."
"One last song." I wanted Nick to see it. See I could have a good time without him.
"One last song then." He agreed.
The two of us dancing, bare skin slipping against each other, my eyes shut, trying to ignore the sound of Nick with the women. We danced, pressed up against each other, avoiding the bumping humans, any sense of care how it looked to Nick gone now, I just wanted to dance. Drink. Enjoy myself. Ray was good, he didn't get too close like the human had, keeping a little distance, respecting space, knowing what our kind needed. No bad smells either. Just wolf and human scent. Different wolf scent, sure, he wasn't the kind of wolf I was...
I heard Nick leaving, his heart fading from my hearing, one of the girls vanishing. Heard her giggle. Heard Ray's sudden inhale, a growl from him now, as his body stiffened.
"What?"
"Nothing, Rose. Keep your eyes closed and enjoy the song."
I opened my eyes and saw it. Nick, against a wall, the girl pressed against him, the two of them kissing like they were starving, tongues down each other's throats. His eyes were shut, I could see him breathing hard, my heart shattering at the sight. He was letting them lead him away. Letting them take him into the women's bathroom.
I couldn't stay in the room when I saw that, I ducked under Ray's arm, grabbed one last drink from the bar, and went out for a taxi myself, throwing the glass at the wall as I pushed aside some other woman, getting inside, Ray chasing after me.
"Out." The driver ordered. "The other girl had it. Get out."
A security guard opened the door, frowning, and I slid out, trying to not cry. Or vomit. Both seemed like great ideas. Instead, I stumbled through the park, ignoring Ray's calls to come back and wait. No one was around in the middle of the park, just me, and I collapsed on the bench, dampness running down my face. It took a few minutes to know that it was tears and not sweat.
I wanted to go home. New York wasn't my place. Dancing was fun but …not like that. I felt sick, I wanted to vomit, and the sight of Nick kissing someone else...
Some part of me knew he did that, when he was out, I sometimes tasted it in his kisses. Sometimes. I just pretended it wasn't there.
"Hey, baby."
Some drunk idiot and his mates, finding me on the bench some hour later, clearly interested. I scowled at them, tugging my legs up against my chest, hugging my legs. Drunk idiots? I was drunk too. I knew it, I had been muttering to myself for an hour about Nick, holding in the urge to vomit.
"Why so sad? Want some company?"
I shook my head.
A body flopped beside me on either side, the two of them touching me, getting too close. I growled and they seemed to like that.
"Do that around this." One of them was unzipping his pants, tugging himself out, no flirting now, dearly serious. He tugged at me, trying to get my head to go down, the other one trying to pull my arms off my legs.
"I'll take care of you, baby, open them up."
Humans. I growled again, yanking my head away from the pulling head, easily overpowering him. He narrowed his eyes, trying to grab my head with both hands, the dizziness that came with being drunk making it difficult to focus.
"Suck it, bitch." The man snapped, as I again pulled my head easily out of his hands, the muscles in his arms straining. "Fuck, you're a strong one."
"I'm busy hating men. Fuck off." My voice slurred at them.
"Open your legs. We'll show you a good time." The other man stood up, trying to yank my legs open, hands running up and down my bare legs, finding a gap and pressing his hand against the shorts underneath. "What's with the shorts?"
I punched him then, hard, feeling a nose break under my fist, the drunk man falling onto his ass with a yell.
Something hard hit me from the side, the other man hitting me, and I turned on him as I stood up, stumbling a little, a hand hitting me hard across the face and knocking me off my feet too. Someone was on top of me, suddenly, yanking my legs open, struggling as I shoved him back off me, blood streaming onto the white dress. This would have been easy when I was sober. I wasn't sober. I struggled against them, shoving and punching, some sense to not bite still there, feeling bone break again at one point, some flesh tear when one of them tried to get himself in my mouth and I clawed at him, a scream of pain. Then feet, kicking at me, I curled up in a ball. Let them. Nick hurt more than anything the humans could do. It was almost a relief.
Suddenly the one kicking me was yanked back, thrown hard several metres away, a hand trying to uncurl me with strength that was not human.
"Nick?" My hopeful query was wrong. It wasn't Nick.
"Ray." Ray growled, his face white, yanking me up. "I don't like fights. Are you hurt?"
"I need to run."
My skin was already starting to prickle. Blood filled my nostrils, the men groaning, one of them yelling for help. 911.
"Can you hold it?"
I nodded and he grabbed my hand, yanking me through the park, getting a taxi. It reminded me of Nick, years ago, doing this same thing. Holding my hand. Getting me a taxi. Now he was ...I didn't know.
Fury and hurt burst again, tears starting, and I needed to vomit, pushing Ray away so I could stumble to a bin, tears and vomit, a hand tugging loose hair out of the way.
We stumbled into a taxi, Ray keeping his distance, hearing sirens. Ambulance? It sped past.
"Did I hurt them?" I asked, voice not working properly, trembling. I hoped I hurt them. Stupid humans. Waving their penises at me.
"You hurt them." Ray muttered. He was still white. "Poor humans. Might not be hitting on drunk women in the park for a while."
"I'm not drunk." I was drunk. I knew that. Drunk as a skunk and ready to claw more eyes out if I had to. "Nick doesn't want me."
"He wants you."
"He was with that woman. I should go back and... turn around, let's go hunt her down."
"Keep driving." Ray told the driver. Glanced at me. "We're going to the forest."
It was a nightmare drive, we had to stop several times so I could vomit, my body trembling as I had the sense to suppress the change. Finally we reached a place that was deserted enough, three in the morning, and I stumbled out, tugging clothing off as I ran, ignoring the man.
It didn't take long. I stumbled around on all fours, senses shot, the funny looking Brazilian maned wolf not far behind my speed in changing. He pushed me deeper into the forest and I stumbled through, nearly falling over, unable to vomit as a wolf. The urge to eat a lot of plant life and drink water consumed me though and I spent most of it running, eating whatever smelt good, throwing up water and grass and the crap in my stomach, body trembling with the effort.
Any desire to hunt my mate or that woman down was gone. I just felt sick. I curled up under a tree, whining, trembling, hurt. Ray sat on his haunches and kept watch as I sat there, the small funny looking wolf keeping an eye on me.
Then I started to run. I ran for home, ran as fast as I could, slipping away from Ray. I wanted to go home. To my home. I wanted to be near my pack. I hurt all over, instinct taking over, stumbling and running, ears down and tail between my legs.
It suddenly wasn't sense. No sense. It was hurt, and fear, rage, everything, and I pointed myself at Stonehaven and ran.
Go home.
Where are you going?
The voice came, boomed in my head, a sudden voice, Jeremy. Jeremy?
I was somewhere. I didn't know. I ran. Paws pounded the ground, ignored the cars, ignored the shouts, ignored the humans. I hurt, I bled, I was sick and I was going home.
Home? Where are you?
Going home.
I whined, as the voice kept echoing in my head, over and over. Where are you? Where are you?
I was going home.
So many roads. I kept crossing them. Daylight now, hurting my eyes, people seeing me. I had to run though.
Where are you?
Road, humans, run. Run. A shot. A shot at me? I yelped, ran faster, paws bleeding as they ran raw over the ground.
Where are you?
I saw Nick. Kissing her. Kissing her hard, like it was me, pressing against her
I ran harder, faster, another crack in the air, another thing flying over my head. Humans shouted. I heard feet chasing me.
More cracks. Something hit me then, hard, knocking the wind out of my chest. Pain flooded through me, I saw trees and headed for them, loosing the humans, limping as I ran. Forest. Safe forest. Trees, ground, grass. I could hide.
I curled up on my side, panting, dragging myself under something, a tree,hiding as the humans tried to find me. I curled tight around the sore spot, body shaking.
Home. I wanted to go home.
Stay put. Don't move.
Jeremy's voice, strange voice to have right now, an order I couldn't refuse. I stayed put.
At some point I changed. I curled up, naked, aching from head to foot, trembling and throwing up. It was nothing compared to the hurt of seeing Nick do that, in front of me, even the hangover was easy compared to that. So he wanted to be thirty again. Wanted to dance, and flirt and... I'd accepted that.
It hurt that he didn't want to share that part of his life. Wanted to separate it. Them, his women, and me. The wife. The one he came to for sex and for comfort. Then back out. Into those arms. Those hips. Those bodies.
Maybe I should have worried about my babies. I didn't. I knew they were safe. I couldn't face Nick right now though, or Antonio, what would Nick tell him? About how I'd danced? But I hadn't ...meant it. I'd enjoyed dancing. I hadn't flirted, I'd flat out refused.
I slept, only waking to vomit, curled up against the rough bark of the tree, my arms wrapped around my legs again, the summer day hot enough to mean it didn't matter if I was naked or not.
Night came again, and I started to feel a little better, more concious, less knocked over. The headache remained though and my body ached like hell. I stood up as it got dark, legs shaking, sliding out. There were bruises all over me, boot prints, finger prints, some of the blood not mine, most of it was. Breathing was hard, but then so was everything else, and I ignored the wound on my side. Another scrape or cut or something. This was why I didn't get drunk usually.
I stumbled out of the forest, slowly, and straight into a city. A city? Had I run through it as a wolf? I stared at the bright lights in the darkness, exhausted, finding clothing on a line to pinch. Overalls? A tshirt? Not my style but hey, it was the first thing I'd found. It smelt like oil. Some mechanic's overalls, probably, his work clothes. Maybe he'd thank me for taking it- he couldn't work without it.
A quick call collect, a slow inhale as I heard the line picked up, and I sighed. Got ready to be blasted. "Elena?"
"Where are you?" She was loud, much too loud, and I whined, holding the phone further from my ear. "Nick's loosing his mind."
"He was with another woman."
A pause. Silence. Then, "Are you sure?"
"I saw him. Kissing her." A pain shot through my side as I jerked around, jeers from a bar nearby startling me. They weren't looking at me. "I don't want to see Nick."
"We won't send Nick. Where are you?"
"I don't know. There's a bar there." I read the name of it, then the street I was standing on. "Where are my babies?"
"On their way home now and very safe. I found the bar on the map."
"I need to go back into the forest. I..." I felt exposed, too open, panic as eyes saw me. "I need to hide."
"We'll follow you. Go hide."
I headed back into the forest, melting into the darkness, it a relief all of a sudden. I found the tree again, curled up inside it, shaking. It was a kiss, yes, but it was ...cheating. To me. But I hadn't behaved much better, had I? I hadn't pushed them away. I'd been too drunk to care. Now I did, I felt filthy, disgusting, pawed by half drunk men. All to get Nick jealous. I would have danced with him if he'd come over earlier, would have let him teach me, but he blocked me the second he was told to let me go with him.
It hurt. Everything hurt. I curled up tighter.
It was late when Clayton found me, his arms crossed, looking unimpressed and grumpy. Tired.
"So what ..." He took one look at me, swore, and picked me up. "What the hell have you been doing?"
"Running. Where's Nick?"
"Stonehaven. Cage. Antonio's orders."
"Why are you here?"
Clayton shrugged. We headed down, I made him put me down, stumbling alongside, keeping my arm tight against my side, still dizzy, cringing as the bright night lights hit my eyes. It was a while before I spoke, Clayton quiet beside me, my legs back up against my chest, pain or not at the closeness.
"I think Nick slept with them."
He stiffened, just slightly, glancing sideways at me.
"I told him to. He wanted to."
"He didn't sleep with them." Clayton muttered. "I checked."
"I tasted-"
"Exactly what you taste when you kiss a lesbian. Or, kiss someone who kissed a lesbian."
"He went back with them."
"He was upset. They were comforting him, apparently." Clayton didn't sound convinced. He glanced sideways at me. "What's that wound on you?"
I snorted. "I'm sure." Threesomes. "Nothing."
"Next time he plays up, call me or Antonio, and don't run off. We heard reports of a big dog getting shot around here. Some drunk men in central park badly injured."
"How badly?" I blinked, shifting up, remembering that.
"Badly. I'm not saying they didn't deserve it but-" He glanced sideways at me. "But you were drunk. You didn't control it."
"I know. I didn't bite them, did I?" I couldn't remember and the thought suddenly scared me, making me sit up a bit straighter.
"No."
I sighed with relief at that, relaxed back, cringing.
"I'm not going to train you if you loose control and can't use it. Drunk or not." Clayton's voice was cold, no sympathy, just clear annoyance. He wasn't happy having to come out here and pick me up. "You could have killed one of them. Could have been killed yourself. Could have exposed us. What you did was fucking stupid and irresponsible. Elena's going to have to punish you." His words cut deep, hurt my head, and the worst part was I knew he was right. I'd been behaving stupidly. "I never thought you'd behave like that."
"What about Nick?"
"Like I said. He's in the cage and dealing with his father." Clayton went quiet, hands tight on the wheel, face tense. After a while though he relaxed and leaned over to yank the overalls off one shoulder. "Show me the wound."
I lowered it. He pulled over, flipping the light on, inhaling slowly at the sight of me in light.
"They got some good kicks." He touched the swollen skin on my face, arms, side, I cringed as he found a particularly sore spot in the ribs.
"I was drunk."
"So I keep hearing. Where's the wound?"
I lifted my arm, tugging my tshirt off the long wound across my side. He blinked at it, then me, another swear, as he slid closer.
"What the hell? Why didn't you tell me you'd been shot?"
"I was shot?"
Clayton shook his head at me, made me lean forward, then back. "Can't you smell the gunpowder?"
"No." Is that what it was? My nose was full of dried blood.
"Just missed you. Damn lucky. You're good with luck. Bites, guns..." Clayton reached behind us, tugging out a first aid kit, pressing some fabric against it. It wasn't bleeding but his 'not impressed' look increased. "Blind stupid luck."
We headed on once he was satisfied that was it, Clayton shaking his head, refusing to look at me.
"Are they home now?"
"Your babies? Ana? Safe and sound."
I relaxed then, shutting my eyes, trying to picture them.
"What if I'm wrong to hang onto him? If he wants that life?"
"Nick's not thirty and he needs to know how to treat a mate. You'll just have to be patient."
"While he sleeps with others? What if Elena-"
Clayton growled. "I know."
"I don't know what to do."
"I can't tell you what to do." He glanced at me, as he drove, angry. Then Clayton relaxed as his eyes met mine. "Just remember he's yours."
I didn't answer.
It took some hours to get back and when we got there, Jeremy had me strip off, cleaned the wound, and made me drink several litres of water over a few hours, gave me asprin for the headache, refusing to let me go to bed. Nick was apparently at Stonehaven and the triplets locked in there with him, according to Jeremy, Nick was now on 'solo triplet duty' after avoiding it by going out late night after night. He was on 'triplet duty at night' for a month. I'd be given nights off and spend the day at Stonehaven.
"What's my punishment?"
"No time alone with Nick for a month at night. Phone calls only. That reminds me." Jeremy went to the study and brought back the bag I'd left with Ray. "Ray brought this. He's staying as a guest in town."
"I-" I wasn't sure if I was upset by that or not. I stopped talking as Jeremy pushed another glass at me. "A month?"
"A month. No exceptions. You two can spend the days with the triplets but separate bedrooms, we'll lock you both in, and no time alone during the day. You two need to calm down." Jeremy leaned back. "Shower now."
"Another order?"
"I retired." He growled, sighed, and rubbed his head. "I thought I did. Go shower. You'll feel better."
He was right. The hot water, even in the hot summer night, felt good, the hot water easing my aching muscles, the bruises, relaxing me enough. The water and the aspirin took the edge off the headache. I crawled into bed only when Antonio reassured me the triplets were okay, holding the phone to them so I could hear them asleep. Anyone with babies would want this, I knew that, want a month off night duty. I struggled to sleep, kept getting up automatically to check on the empty cribs in the nursery, only to find my door locked and remembering that they weren't there anyway.
It was hard to turn off mum. Particularly with how guilty I felt about running off like that.
I sat there, in the darkness, staring at my phone, wondering if I should turn it on. Call Nick. Find out if he was struggling. Tell him off. I knew he'd have tried to call, message me, I knew that the second I turned it on he'd be there. This was the only way we could talk privately. I plugged it in and turned it on.
Twenty six messages since I'd gotten back here. Fifty during my run. Fifty?
I deleted them all, I couldn't read it all, and messaged him.
'Home. Kiss them for me. Wash mouth with soap first.'
I got an instant message back.
'Eaten all soap in house. Need more. Come here with fresh supplies.'
'Forbidden.'
'Sneak out the window.'
I rolled my eyes. I knew the second I tried, I'd be heard.
'No.'
'I love you. I'm sorry. Come here.' Nick's reply came before I could answer him with the simple two letter word, as if he couldn't wait for an answer. Or was it from earlier?
'No.'
'I got jealous. Heard them talking about you. Saw you dancing with that mutt. So sexy... so drunk. Let me come home.'
'Did you sleep with them?'
'They made out while I threw up. Let me come home.'
'Ask your father.'. I knew Antonio wouldn't let him. I knew that was a safe answer. Make him happy? He was happy all right, I could see it.
There was no answer for half an hour. I fell asleep, only to be woken by the vibration of my phone. It wasn't from Nick, it was from Antonio.
'Nick is now tied to bed until I can repair the lock he broke. Goodnight Anne. See you tomorrow.'
I yawned, rolled over and texed him one last time.
'See you tomorrow .'
I wanted to walk to Stonehaven but when I woke up, I ached so much I had to ask for a lift, face puffy, a black eye, bruises everywhere. Nick was waiting, exhausted looking, leaning against the porch, as if he'd been standing there all night.
He took one look at me and froze, eyes tracing up and down me, surprise and shock there.
"You didn't tell me you'd been hurt."
"It's nothing." I pushed past him as he tried to hug me. The image of him kissing that woman, really kissing her, flashed back in my head. "You didn't tell me why you were kissing that woman."
"She kissed me!" Nick protested, trying to grab me, only to be pushed off. "Liz, come on."
"With people like that waiting for you, no wonder why you never wanted mt o go with you." I glared at him and pushed past. The triplets were in the living room. They lit up at the sight of me, holding arms up, six arms in my direction. Three voices demanding 'Up!'
No way could I pick them all up so I jumped over the toddler barrier and lay back on the ground, shutting my eyes, relief as I felt them climb on me, their smells in my nostrils, giggles as they crawled all over me. It didn't matter if feet or hands dug into sore spots. I had my babies.
"Mama." Lily crawled over to my head, nuzzling, probably a habit she'd picked up from watching Nick. "Sleep."
"Mama sleeps, yes." I agreed. I actually had the urge to sleep here, right now, in the room with them. Sleeping without them around hadn't worked. "I missed you. All of you. Come here."
Arms captured the three of them, giggles as I held them close, nuzzling against their scalps. Okay. Maybe they picked it up from me as well. Nick jumped over too and rested against the wall, arms crossed, stiffening everytime he saw me stiffen, as a small hand prodded as sore spot or made me cringe.
"Welcome back." Antonio came to sit beside me. Two of the three headed for him with a squeal of 'Pop!'
He looked tired too.
"How'd you keep Nick in?"
"He learnt his rope skills from me." He replied as he hugged Dominic and Susie, lifting them into his lap, yawning. "Hi puppies."
"Cookie?"
"No. If you want some breakfast there's leftover in the fridge." He glanced up at me. "Unless Nick ate it. He's been hovering around the kitchen."
"I guarded it for her." Nick informed him.
"Do you want to bake a cake for tomorrow?" Antonio asked as I stood up, letting Lily loose on Nick's legs. He lifted her up, swinging her around, face lighting up as she laughed and squealed for more.
"Yeah. I might start that today. Jungle?"
"Ungle." Dominic agreed, very seriously, brown eyes going to me. "Cookie."
"They had some cookies last night after bed. Kept them up all night." Antonio explained, eyes going to Nick, half amused, half exasperated. "Daddy gives you anything you want, doesn't he? Any time of the day?"
"I bet he does." I headed for the kitchen, sliding over another toddler barrier, hearing Nick lower Lily down and follow fast after me.
"I'm right here." Antonio called from the living room. "Ears like a wolf."
"Come here." Nick pinned me against the bench, bending me forward, his arms tightening around me. "I'm not letting go."
"You kissed her." I muttered, wriggling, trying to peel his arms off me. One arm off, the other tightened, and no matter what I did, he refused. "Let me go."
"Nope."
"I have a cake to bake."
"You danced. With lots of men."
I turned, surprising him, Nick taking the chance to lift me up to sit on the bench. He grasped my legs, stroking up and down them under the skirt I'd put on. "I danced. I didn't kiss them or flirt."
"What did I teach you about seduction? The less you cared the more they wanted you." Nick slid his hands up higher. "And your mutt friend..."
"You didn't even want me there."
"I wanted you there. Not him and you." Fingers closed around the panties, trying to tug them down. "Tell them to let me in your room."
"That's Elena's choice." I pushed his hands off, refusing to let him get any further with his dad listening. I couldn't help it though. Nick's big brown eyes had me melting like chocolate in an oven. "Stop making me forgive you."
"Dance with me next time. Only me."
"And watch you get groped by women while I need a drink?" I muttered. Jealousy flared up in me again at that, seeing the women he'd danced with, the ones I sometimes smelt on him. "I can't watch that."
"Only you get to grope. They just get a dance." Nick's hands started back up my legs again. "Sometimes a kiss. Elena gets them too. You don't need to be jealous."
I felt my head drop onto his shoulder, even though I wanted to be angry with him, a shudder going through him at the contact.
"I'm jealous of Ray." He admitted, quieter. "So ..."
"Young?"
"Yeah." He admitted, quiet, his lips tracing the side of my neck. "I'm just pretending to be."
"You're not old either. Not many people your age can dance like that."
"Those girls were so jealous of you. It was funny." He grinned, kissing harder, tugging my body against his. "I couldn't leave the bathroom. They had too many questions. How did you get hurt?"
"Couple of drunk guys hit on me in central park. I didn't take it well." I muttered. He stiffened. "I think I hurt one badly. The other got a bit upset."
"Their own fault. Who tries to pick up a drunk girl in a park?" He shrugged it off. "I'm sorry."
"Me too. I'm sorry. I just wanted... I wanted..."
"To own me? Control me?" He grinned. "You get that right without needing to dance with every man. All you had to do was call and I'd have been there."
"Shit." I swore softly, as his fingers ran up and down my thighs, stroking them gently.
"What?"
"No sex for a month. Our first real fight and no make up sex."
"We'll have another fight in a month. Promise. I'll find a way." He nipped at my ear, slowly. "Want help baking this cake or should we stay here all day and pretend to bake?"