Chapter 14
Crash sighed as he woke up. It was 4 days since Sunday, and now it was Thursday. Time seemed to really fly by for the bandicoot. He hated how every second seemed to vanish instantly. He hated how time went by so fast, since he wanted to make every second with Pasadena count. Yet, it somehow didn't seem to matter. The idea that it didn't really matter pissed him off. Lately, Crash had been putting a fake act of being okay, when in deeply inside his heart, he felt depressed. How could it count, since she was leaving Saturday? At first, it had more meaning. The hero did his best to make himself happy as each passing minute went by, and as they minutes came and went, each one was spent being close to the possum.
He couldn't really sleep the previous night, and it was kind of funny that he slept late, yet he woke up before Pasadena did. Crash hated how he tried to force himself into thinking that he wanted his love to save her job. The bandicoot really did force himself, but he ended up hurting himself, and he wanted her to stay even more. The hero did what he thought he could do. He thought of telling her that there were better things for her out there than here, that he would just bring her down, and that she would only hurt herself if she stayed. Crash couldn't bring himself to any of those things. He loved her too much.
Crash sat up in his bed and rubbed his eyes. Thinking he needed some time alone to think, he got out of bed, grabbed some clothes, and before leaving the room, kissed Pasadena's forehead as she slept. He hated how he forced himself into thinking he was a bad boyfriend, that she was a bad girlfriend, and even thinking that it was just a one-time thing. But as these thoughts entered his mind, he felt angry for even thinking those thoughts. The bandicoot was doubting himself. He left his house and walked to the beach. As he sat down to watch the sunrise, he remembered how everything seemed to be so easy and well thought out. Now, everything was clouded, and the hero felt blind that he couldn't find a straight answer. Crash decided to listen to some music to help clear his head. Why was it that music seemed to have an answer to everything? Whether it was intentional or coincidental, Crash really didn't care at the moment as he hit the Shuffle button.
Well when you go
Don't ever think I'll make you try to stay
And maybe when you get back
I'll be off to find another way
And after all this time that you still owe
You're still a good-for-nothing I don't know
No, she's perfect. Why am I doing this to myself? She's everything I want, and here I am rejecting her. What the hell is wrong with me? Am I a fool for letting her go, or for making her stay? If she goes, can I find someone better, or will I be back at square one? I don't want to lose her, but I feel like I am, Crash thought to himself. Pasadena was his, but the hero wondered if she really was his. He felt bad thinking about being unsure as to if she really loved him. Did she love him just as much as he loved her? So many questions he wanted answered, but out of all of them, this one seemed the most important.
So take your gloves and get out
Better get out
While you can
When you go
Would you even turn to say
I don't love you
Like I did yesterday
They spent time together. They loved each other. They made love with one another. Yet, the bandicoot felt as if maybe it wasn't meant to be. Crash was fighting the worst enemy he ever fought: himself. We are our greatest enemies, and would it be of ourselves that our downfall will succeed? Crash continued to shake his head, thinking the most negative thoughts he had of himself. Is it right or wrong for him to want Pasadena to stay? Is it right or wrong that he didn't want her to go, yet he forced himself to want to let her go? Everything began to no longer make sense to the hero.
Sometimes I cry so hard from pleasing
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
But baby when they knock you
Down and out
Is where you oughta stay
And after all the blood that you still owe
Another dollar's just another blow
So fix your eyes and get up
Better get up
While you can
Whoa, oh
He was tired of fighting himself. As far as he knew, he just wanted to close his eyes and be whisked away by his sleep into his dreams. But he wasn't tired. Crash let out a few tears. The lyrics spoke to him. The tears from trying to keep the world happy by risking his life, the anger behind each scar, wound, and injury he sustained while keeping the world safe, and the feeling of giving up but forcing himself to keep going whenever it seemed all to much. Why did he owe the world, when the world didn't owe him anything? At this point, the world did seem to somehow pay its dept. It brought the woman he always wanted.
When you go
Would you even turn to say
I don't love you
Like I did yesterday
Well come on,
Come on!
Crash stared at the sunrise as the wind blew. He felt a chill in his body, and felt really cold. Not caring anymore, Crash just closed his eyes. But as he did close his eyes, he felt warm all of a sudden. Just before he could question where this warmth came, he felt something soft pressing against the back of his right shoulder. Opening his eyes just a bit and turning his head, Crash saw that it was Pasadena. She wrapped her arms around his waist as she kissed his shoulder. All of a sudden, the cold that ran through the bandicoot's body vanished, and the hero felt warm again.
When you go
Would you have the guts to say
I don't love you
Like I loved you yesterday
I don't love you
Like I loved you yesterday
I don't love you
Like I loved you yesterday
"You had me worried there for a sec. I've been looking for you," Pasadena said as she leaned onto Crash. The bandicoot replied, "I guess I should've left some kind of note. Sorry." As he finished his sentence, Crash turned his head to his right and the possum moved in for a kiss. Tasting her lips seemed to make everything feel better, as if there was no problem to worry about. When they parted, the possum said, "It's okay. So, why are you out here?" Sighing, Crash said, "I've been feeling out of place. It's like I'm surrounded by a fog. I can't see anything around me, and I wonder if I should stay, or risk it and try to find my way. Yet, it's too damn difficult to make a choice."
"I think we all face this fog you speak of. As far as I know, there is a risk to each solution. If we wait, how long will we have to wait? If we leave, can we be sure we'll find our way out? No matter what you do, there's a risk involved. We all have to take that chance," Pasadena replied to her love. Giving her response some thought, Crash said, "You're right." For a moment of silence, the two marsupials looked at the sun as it kept ascending into the sky. They continued to watch until the sun reached its peak of shining off very bright rays. Covering their eyes, they decided it was time to go home.
The two lovers walked back to the house. As they did, Crash noticed he had his music still playing at a low volume. He pressed the Previous button and turned up the volume a bit louder. Recogizing the song, Crash looked towards Pasadena who's attention was still fixed foward. He leaned in for a kiss, and after planting one on her cheek, the possum turned her head and returned another kiss. Both smiled as they headed toward the house.
Lately I've, I've been keeping an eye on you.
Don't know what you've been going through.
I can tell it's no good, no good for me but
All I know, all I know is I've got to go
before things get out of control,
And out of our hands, beyond repair.
Well, nothing is lost just because it's not where it used to be.
Just stop searching, you could spend your whole life.
I can tell by your eyes that hope is fading fast,
when all you have to do is stop searching.
I understand people change,
but don't miss out on this chance.
You have to find yourself,
and that's exactly where you'll find me.
So come find me.
Did I speak too soon about the elephant in the room?
I'd survive with or without you, but what would that prove?
You know it means nothing
Wait, there's more, more than enough for the jury, I'm sure.
So state your case and give me the floor.
We may lose what we love.
It's not far away because,
Nothing is lost just because
it's not where it used to be.
Just stop searching, you could spend your whole life.
I can tell by your eyes that hope is fading fast,
when all you have to do is stop searching.
I understand people change,
but don't miss out on this chance.
You have to find yourself,
and that's exactly where you'll find me.
Can you find me?
Oh, can you find me?
Oh
So take what you need.
If you leave, then leave a little piece of me.
So just stop, just stop searching,
you could spend your whole life.
I can tell by your eyes that hope is fading fast,
when all you have to do is stop searching.
I understand people change,
but don't miss out on this chance.
You have to find yourself,
and that's exactly where you'll find me.
(Oh no)
Come find me, whoa
Stop searching!
Crash laughed to himself. Perhaps if Pasadena heard this song, maybe this would be how she probably wanted the hero to know her thoughts if he shared the thoughts he wondered about earlier. After getting to the house, the bandicoot sat on the couch and rested his head back, closing his eyes. As he did, the racer snuck her way over and jumped on the off guard hero. "What the-" was all Crash could say before his retaliation. The hero turned Pasadena on her back on the couch and began to tickle her. Seeing her laugh and smile, made the orange marsupial glad to see her happy. As Crash kept tickling, Pasadena felt her sides starting to hurt and tears came out of her eyes as a result of laughing too much. In between her laughs, she said, "Crash...please stop...it's starting to hurt." The bandicoot showed mercy and stopped. However he would regret it, as his love tackled him and began his "torture."
Laughing, Crash couldn't help but smile as he saw the possum was enjoying this. After a few minutes, the bandicoot began to feel the same pains she did, and asked her to stop. Luckily, she showed the same mercy. Both were a bit tired from laughing, and the two marsupials rested against the couch with the possum resting on top of the hero. She layed her head against his chest, and Crash wrapped his arms around Pasadena's waist. They were smiling as they enjoyed what seemed like hours with each other.
Crash felt as if all his problems and worries went away. No longer did the thoughts cloud his mind. In the end, he felt as if he would just have to face it. Regardless of what happens, I still love her no matter what, he thought to himself. He looked to see that Pasadena was asleep in his arms. He smiled and kissed her forehead. Feeling sleepy himself, the hero looked at a clock that hung on the wall across from him to see that it was only about five minutes away from 4:30 P.M. A long, nice nap seemed really nice about now. If she woke up, it couldn't really bother him. Crash was a mix of both a light and heavy sleeper. He could be woken up easily if his name is called, but most of the time, nothing really seemed to wake the hero up from his dreams. Nonetheless, the bandicoot closed his eyes and let sleep take him away.
With only hours away from his love's departure, Crash would try his best to make every second matter...
Author's Note: Sadly, readers, we are close to the end. :( However, I will try to make the last chapters really count. I wrote the whole story as a draft, and I am kinda busy so the next few chapters could take a bit longer. By the way, the songs in this chapter are "I Don't Love You" by My Chemical Romance and "Stop Searching" by Valencia. Questions, comments, or concerns, you know what to do. Bye.