Twenty three hours to go.

I stared at the clock and knew exactly how long without having to count.

The sense of 'something was wrong' did not leave me but increased as I tried to relax. Nothing, not in the days before, had provoked such a feeling. It had to have happened last night. I didn't know what it was, I didn't know why I felt it, but I knew it had to do with Nick. I knew the same way I knew I had twenty two hours and fifty eight minutes to go.

Lucas said nothing about it. Nothing unusual. I tried to shut my eyes and relax, even will Jeremy back, though he hadn't been back ever since. Maybe he thought he'd dreamt it. Maybe I'd dreamt it.

But something else was strange. I didn't know how to explain it. I felt odd. Physically strange, sick, even dizzy. It'd gotten worse over the last few hours and by the time night had come I was relieved to get into bed for a change. It was connected to the 'something's wrong' feeling. I didn't know what it was and Lucas didn't seem to have it.

The past few nights I'd had dreams of the toddlers and twins. I was so glad to see the toddlers that I didn't care if it was a nightmare- all I wanted to see was their faces right now, hold them, snuggle them, watch them as they happily did big kid potty stuff. See the twins, so new, so scrunched up still, eyes foggy and struggling to see the world just yet.

Five children. Fuck. I had liked the idea of two. Three, maybe. But five? I could cope. I had enough money from the inheritance to be okay for a while yet till I could start to work. I wasn't going to let Nick spend a cent on the twins. Not a cent.

It was thinking like this that made it easier. Thinking as if he was alive. Because he had to be. Clayton wouldn't run into a burning building, would he? He would know that was stupid. I hoped he did, anyway.

I did fall asleep though and, like I had for the past few days, dreamt of the burning, of cars, of toddlers waiting. Twins yawning and staring in the direction of sounds. No Jeremy. I woke every few hours, twisting around restlessly, and tried to go back. The bracelet stayed clutched hard in my hand. I'd wake, panic, and stare at it. Or clutch to that damn dress Nick liked, the scent fading far too fast from it now, as if that was my last lifeline. Check the time, count the hours we had to go before I could officially race back to Stonehaven, and go 'Hey guys, sorry, actually I'm really alive and when can we go kick their bums?' I felt sick every time, like I wanted to vomit, but that usually went away if I went back to bed.

Early that morning I heard voices and got up, dressing, coming out as Benicio Cortez glanced up to me. He and Lucas went quiet, and I felt like I might have interrupted something, so I paused.

"Sorry."

"We were just talking about sorcerer business. Come and join us." Lucas slid a chair out for me. I yawned, glanced at the clock, seeing it was our usual 'meet' time anyway. "It probably wouldn't be interesting to you."

I should have said something like 'Go ahead, I love it!' but truthfully, it wasn't interesting. I'd had it up to here with that bullshit. Magic seemed like cheating to me, where as running, hunting, fists, they felt natural. Normal. Straight to the point.

So I made a sound I hoped could be translated into a grunt of 'Oh no, please, I love hearing about magic' and went to sit down near them at the table.

"I'll put the coffee on."

Truthfully... this magic stuff was starting to bug me, the more Demetruis fucked with us like he was, wrapping us up in distractions and problems and injuries while he barely lifted a finger. Disease? What disease? Somehow the whole supernatural world had been crippled by him and yet we were distracted by babies and explosions.

"He's distracting us from the bigger problem." I muttered.

Lucas' head swung up then. "Who?"

"Demetruis. How many people are sick or were sick?" I tried to shake off the last week's twisting 'they're dead, and I missed my puppies, and I missed my pack' as well as the 'holy shit, we'd escaped a collapsing burning building' shock and all the other stuff that had more or less crowded over it.

It was Benicio who answered, not Lucas. He came back, sat down with a coffee, and his answer was shocking even to me,"In North America, ninety percent of the supernatural population. Seventy six percent of those are now weakened or have lost their race's gifts completely."

"Ninety perfect?"

"Give or take a few percent. Yes. It's lower, as the witches themselves still continue to be immune to it."

"Did you get sick?" I realised, suddenly, how rude it was to ask him that and flushed as he fixed me with an amused look. "Sorry. I'm just... it's so many."

"I did not get sick." Benicio replied, still a little amused, clearly not used to people asking him direct questions like that. Of course he didn't. He'd been the one to cover our asses when we'd been trying to get out of the building. "I believe every member of your pack contracted the disease though."

He was right, and yet still I couldn't quite believe it, that so many had gotten sick.

"And now the mutts are buying this cure off him? As well as a group of ..."

"Idiots." Lucas muttered. "It's not really a cure."

"What is it?" My head swung to Lucas at that, shocked, and he glanced at his father before to me.

"It's a treatment that temporarily suppresses the disease's effects. They regain themselves for around a week before needing to take it again. Your treatment was the only one that has worked for so long." He replied, softly. "But it may not work forever."

No one had told me this. I wondered if Elena knew. She might have known but had been so distracted by what she had been told to do … "So why would he distract us?"

"Pawns." Benicio yawned, drinking his hot coffee, as he read something on his laptop. "

" In chess, the pawns are used to distract while the real pieces get into position. Sacrifices are made. I'm not entirely sure he was serious about his offer to Elena." Lucas replied. "The blame for the diseases is on the Cabel. They didn't create it, but the general belief is that they did, and so everyone blames them. He has the cure and there's a lot of affected people trying to get back to normal. Elena's a distraction."

"But he took her?" I assumed he had.

"Capturing the Queen. Okay. Maybe I like chess too much. But he's got a key player now."

I realised he was probably right. Maybe that had been the real goal. He had heirs now, I didn't see why he'd care so much for more, but he had an advantage in having Elena.

"It's extremely beneficial to us for you to have control over him." Benicio added.

In other words, it suited them, and I tried to ignore that. It was beneficial for me too. "Do you know what he offered her?"

"We know." Benicio replied, glancing up. "In exchange for womb rental. You had twins from a similar deal."

I flushed, trying to ignore the shame that came with that look I'd been given, as if I was being judged for that. "It was apparently already happening before I made it. They were already there."

"Yes. I know." Benicio's eyes went back to the laptop.

"No one thinks you made the wrong choice." Lucas added, maybe catching the look in my face.

Except me, I thought dully, I did. But I was getting distracted again. We all were. Was he going to try and distract Elena? I didn't know. I didn't know if he'd force her, or if he'd just treat her like a guest, or if he'd …blame a guard.

"Has he offered anything for Elena?"

"Nothing. He's been quiet. Hasn't even contacted his mother." Benicio answered. "Unusual for him. Your twins are with her, cared for by a nanny, and are safe."

So they weren't even with him? Maybe he really didn't give a damn about heirs. I didn't know.

I muttered something about coffee and went into the kitchen to make it. So I knew he was distracting us, doing a good job of it, and that he had Elena. And while we were distracted he'd vanished off the face of the earth again and we still didn't know if he was connected to that resistance group or not.

And he was using magic to screw with us. I loathed magic suddenly. Damn stuff wasn't at all like Harry Potter. Or maybe it was? The light ball thing had been kind of cool. I shook my head, trying to stay focused, as the machine did the coffee thing in front of me.

There was the attack on Stonehaven, which I'd worried less about as apparently we'd come out the better side, and that might have been about the kids. They'd tried to cart Logan away. At the same time we'd been buried under a building they'd tried to snatch kids.

"Do you think the two attacks were planned?" I asked as I came back. "If he's working with that resistance group..."

"The man your nephew captured for us was convinced he'd never met Demetruis." Benicio replied. He glanced at his son, then to me. "His mind had been altered a little though."

"Altered?"

"Hypnosis." Lucas explained softly.

There it was again. That harmless thing I'd learnt, or I thought it was harmless, because I thought how cool it'd be to do past life stuff on people, paint, and ...I didn't know. I'd been less interested in a career back then and more interested in just studying. Suddenly it wasn't harmless and to them it was serious.

"Ah." I sat back down. "So you just have to unalter it?"

"Apparently it's not that easy." Lucas replied. "But something like that."

I glanced at the clock, counting the hours to go till we'd broken the contract, and then down at the coffee in my hands. So close.

"How are they doing?" I asked, finally. Surely Benicio knew that much.

"They are coping." Benicio replied. "Funeral planning."

"Nick and Clay?" Before I could stop myself, the words flew out, head flying up, and he shook his head.

"Your funerals."

Oh, fuck. That made it real for me. They thought we were so dead that they were planning our funerals. Lucas looked just as sickened by the word as I did.

"Nick and Clayton flew back yesterday." Benicio added.

I nearly fell out of my chair, relief flooding thorough the strange 'fuzzy' feeling. "They're alive?"

"They were tracking Elena. They lost her trail soon after they got the news about the two of you." He said it so calmly, so plainly, as if it wasn't a big deal. But it was a big deal. It was a huge deal. They were alive. Benicio's focus had not left the laptop but he added, "They have not left the house since returning."

Oh god. Poor Nick. Coming back to funeral planning. I wanted to call him. How many hours till I could call him? Sixteen. It was just after six in the morning. That sickness returned full force now, that 'there's something seriously fucking wrong' sense right there with it.

"You okay?" Lucas asked softly.

I nodded and glanced up at him. He was probably counting the hours too. "Just looking forward to calling them tonight."

"There's a plane ready. We'll leave after ten tonight and will be back around one in the morning." Benicio glanced from myself to Lucas. "I would recommend you put off the call."

"Just show up? Shock them?"

"Maybe give them a call half an hour before." Lucas nodded slowly. "The three or so hours it'd take would torture them."

He was right, of course, and I felt my body deflate a little as I agreed. Bugger. I had to wait a bit longer to call him.

After a while I retreated back to my room, coffee in hand, and crawled back into the bed with it. The dress could be covered in new scents tonight. I'd get home, I'd rub it all over Nick, and then ...I didn't know. He just had to get through another day. Maybe this was why I felt so sick, so tired, so dizzy. I wasn't pregnant again.

Fuck. I hoped I wasn't pregnant again. But I rejected that thought. Probably not. These symptoms weren't just connected to that. I had to stop assuming it. Or get my tubes tied. That might not have been such a bad idea either.

Somehow I slept, the hours drifting by, even after drinking the coffee.

The sheer scale of the sick in our world staggered me as the day went on. So many sick. And so many of them now powerless. So many blaming the Cabel for the disease, even if they'd been one of the hardest hit, and if the resistance offered the 'treatment' for their members, how many would want to go to their side? Savannah had said there were hundreds and that was several years ago now.

I realised that what I'd seen in our factory, the large amount of sorcerers and half-demons the Cabel were treating, they had just been a fraction of what they were probably dealing with. Maybe they were high ranking or something. I didn't know.

The hours dragged on. Lucas and I didn't ask about what was happening at Stonehaven now, when Benicio came in with lunch, the news that our funerals were being planned was pretty heavy and showed that what we'd done had worked. Probably with a little help from Benicio.

"I'm not going to call Paige." Lucas said quietly, as we ate the nachos.

"Just going to show up?"

"It'll be after midnight. Most of the house will be asleep. She can have me for a few hours before the news explodes."

I saw his logic there and nodded, slowly, dipping a corn chip in the sour cream, finding myself agreeing with him. We'd wake the entire house up with the news. Kids would be up, toddlers awake, chaos for the next few days till the kids and toddlers got enough sleep again... "Yeah. You're right."

"The funeral is later this afternoon. I'll be flying out ahead of you both." Benicio said, softly, eyes going to Lucas.

That made us both flinch. Lucas caught my eyes, I saw it in his face, that no matter how good an idea it was, it was getting a bit too ...real.

"I'm guessing Troy is taking us to the airport."

Benicio nodded. I might have been amused to see him another time, this man who was all business and authority, in a tailored suit... sitting there eating nachos... but the weight of our deception was getting a bit too much. A funeral. Shit. That explained why he was wearing so much black.

"We'll take care of reversing the legal problems." He added.

We'd take care of the rest then. The questions, the hurt, all of it. I didn't feel hungry now. I just wanted to get going. Less than ten hours to go. We were getting there.

When he was gone, we relocated to the couch, sitting there, neither of us speaking for a long time. I dreaded it. Going back there right now. This had seemed like a great idea before. Now I felt like an idiot for thinking it up. There were other ways to get him.

It was too late to do much more than sit there now, numb, watching the movies come on and off the pay TV, neither of us even watching them, we sat there, waited, eyes going to the clock so often that Lucas eventually got up and threw it out the window. The action, so impulsive, frustration in his face, it shocked me. He was such a calm person usually.

"Thanks." I muttered when he flopped back down.

Lucas glanced at me. "For?"

"Saving me the trouble of throwing it away." I glanced after the clock, arms crossing across my chest.

He smiled a tense smile and we went back to waiting.

It didn't help. Not seeing the time maybe screwed with us worse now, even if the movies were giving us a sense of time, and I ended up pacing, eating the leftover stuff in the fridge, making us coffee, anxiety and guilt weighing down the air. Lucas started to copy me. We didn't know what else to do except pace, eat, and wait.

I tried to apologise for this and he cut me off.

"I could have gone at any time. No. You made your decision and I made mine. We've just got to accept it now." Lucas shook his head. He stared at the coffee, the fifth since lunch, and poured it down the sink. "This is not going to help us relax."

He was probably right. I sighed, tipped mine down the sink, and tried to think.

"How much hatred is there towards the Cabal right now?"

"Because of the disease?" Lucas' face twisted with something else. "A lot. The free treatment we offered, to get through the fever, there's rumors spread that it's guilt. Or that we're going to sell a cure. Or we're trying to take away everyone's power so we can take over competely."

"Guess that's not surprising." I explained, when he blinked, "I mean, the mutts probably think we did it. The pack. They like to blame the most obvious."

"It makes them feel better."

"What races loose their powers?"

Lucas sat down at the little kitchen table after filling a glass with water and sipped it slowly. "Vampires are weakened badly but they're still more or less able to cope. Sorcerers aren't constant- some are fine after, some are like me and limited, and most are completely powerless. Half-demons have the same reaction, some are fine, some aren't. It affects all werewolves, shamans, necromancers, druids and clairvoyants the same. Witches are immune."

"They didn't blame witches?" I joined him once I had water. "If they're not getting sick?"

"They might have a few years ago." Lucas shrugged a little. "But there's been some tenseness towards the Cabel for several years now, rumours started, some dirty laundry exposed, and the resistance group have been fuelling a lot of mistrust. Witches have always been disliked by sorcerers so they're ignored."

I didn't know that, that witches and sorcerers disliked each other, especially as Lucas and Paige were married. It was a bit shocking to find out. I didn't ask about how they'd taken that pairing. With our 'funerals' currently happening right now it was a bad idea.

I tried to make us dinner from what was left in the fridge and we waited, baited breath, as the last few hours ticked by. The tension in the room rose. If Demetruis found me now, if he knew I was alive, this was all for nothing.

The clock on the TV ticked, slowly, as we watched. Waited. We tried to distract ourselves with packing but when we had such a tiny amount to pack that took up two minutes. I fingered the bracelet, tried to wait, and watched. Two minutes. One.

Thirty seconds past ten, a minute after I'd made the agremeent more or less, I felt it. It was the most bizarre sensation of shackles being broken. I bent over, panting, squeezing my eyes shut, the pain of it almost ...almost... enough to trigger a change right then and there. Lucas's hand found my shoulder. It hurt. This 'breaking contract' thing, even if it wasn't me doing it, it hurt.

"It'll only last a minute." He tried to reassure me. "It'll be worse for him."

He was right. After a minute it was over and I felt the nature of the 'shackles' change. Instead of feeling myself bound up to something, I felt like I was connected to something bound, this sense of 'leashing' … like I'd caught him.

"Did I leash him magically?"

"The contract has." He replied, a tense smile. "So to speak. It feels different for everyone. Suppose because you're a wolf, it's leashes."

I could feel Demetruis, suddenly, I had this sense of him somewhere. It didn't get more than that but it was enough.

"Does he know I'm alive now?"

"No. It'd feel the same dead or alive. There's documented cases of it driving some people crazy- feeling their loved one somewhere, when they've died, people believing they're still here. He'll just assume you're dead.." He shook his head. "That magic isn't good. Black magic, for witches, that thing. Just breathe. Whatever you sense, he doesn't, it's only a one way connection now." There was a knock on the door and Lucas opened it.

"Time to go?" I stood up and Lucas nodded.

The big body guard led us to the car and we headed to the airport. I found that if if I didn't concentrate on Demetruis, then the awareness of him faded, but if I tried to, I would sense him. It was like gathering up strings, pulling on them, feeling something on the other side. Always. It was strange. I wondered how much I'd tell if I really concentrated hard on him.

Tonight I couldn't. My concentration was shot, stressed, anxious to get back, and I knew that I'd had too little sleep to really focus on anything. I let it go, the 'strings', and whatever the hell he was doing, I lost sense of it.

"It's really ...broken?" I asked as we slid into seats in the plane.

"Yes. Even I can tell." Lucas nodded.

I slumped, sighed out, and shut my eyes. Now we just had to get the twins back.

"My father intends on getting them tomorrow from the mother's house." Lucas said, softly, as if he knew exactly what I was thinking. "We'll deal with the fallout tonight."

Another long torturous drag of time, another hour pacing up and down on the plane, before we were in the car and speeding towards Stonehaven. Speeding was the perfect word. Lucas told the body guard, Tony, or Troy or something, to go fast and he did go fast. I hung onto the seat, wondering if we'd die after all in a big fiery crash, but honestly... I was relieved that we were speeding. Sooner we got back the better.

The car slowed as we reached Stonehaven and we drove slowly, the forest crowding in as if it was welcoming us back, fireflies dancing around the car. The warmth of the sun was still in the ground when I hopped out, showing how hot it'd been, the smell and sound of the forest crashing into my head as the car was turned off, relief and anxiety building up together. Now. Where would Nick be? Would he be here? At Forestwatch?

Lucas leaned closer to me, soft. "Can you help me find Paige? I know you're desperetate but... you have good hearing."

After all he'd done to help me, of course I was going to help him. I grasped his arm, ignoring my instints for the moment, and listened for Paige. Smelt her trail, going up the stairs, leading him, and led him of one of the spare bedrooms. Paige was inside, breathing slow, the smell of salt and dampness in the room. Tears. Fuck. Savannah was there too.

"Thanks." He squeezed my arm and slipped inside, shutting the door, a soft light coming on. Maybe another light ball thing. I didn't know and I was too distracted to care.

I made my way down the hall, trying to smell Nick, struggling. There were no real traces of him, older scent trails from earlier in the day, nothing recent. I almost missed the fist as it flew at my head, almost, but ducked down as I saw a flash of pale skin in the darkness and heard it sink into the wall behind my head.

Clayton attacked, growling, fists flying, some of them making painful contact.

"It's me."

That did not make him any happier. He continued to hit me, trying to grab at me. He smelt ...like sedative. I backed up, trying to whisper for him to be quiet, ducking fists sometimes, blocking them with arms the rest of the time, protecting the bracelet as I did. I didn't realise I was at the staircase till I felt the floor vanish, tipped back, and started to fall.

The fists, which had been coming at me, instead grabbed at my clothing and yanked me hard back onto the landing, Clayton's arms grabbing at me and yanking me away from the edge of the stairs.

He stood there a long time, holding onto me hard, his body shaking. I smelt him breathing in and out, long shuddering breathing that was more about my smell than the need for oxygen, hands clutching hard to the fabric on my back.

"You're fucking dead. What are you doing here?" He swore, sounding groggy, but he didn't raise his voice.

"I'm not dead."

"We had your funeral." Clayton grabbed at me and yanked me into his bedroom. It was the first time I'd actually been in here, in this room, and he flipped on the light. Stared at me as if I was a ghost. Clayton rubbed his head again, looking as drugged as he smelt, trying to shake it free. "We had your funeral."

"I didn't die. Where's Nick?"

"New York. Ran off when it was over. Shit. Is Elena..."

The words froze as I shook my head. Elena wasn't with me.

I saw it, saw the grief and regret there crash into his head, as he staggered back and nearly tripped over clothing that was lying there on the ground. "We lost track of her. I hoped … hoped he'd taken you both." I grabbed at him as he started to fall backwards, yanking him back up this time.

"I shouldn't have left her side. I'm sorry."

"You do what she tells you. If she tells you to go, you do it. If she suggests you go... make up your own mind." No humour was in his face though. He looked devastated. Clayton let me help him back to the bed.

"We'll find her." I tried to reassure him. He scowled.

"Yeah." Clayton was struggling to stay awake now. I lowered him into the bed, as he passed out again, his breathing slowing. Whatever instinct had made him launch out of bed and at me had been overwhelmed again by the drug. He'd probably wake up thinking I was a dream if my smell wasn't all over the place.

I backed out, slowly, and backed right up into arms. A chest. A head grabbing at me, the arms tightening so hard I struggled to breathe, Reece clinging to me.

"You." He growled, softly, shutting the door for me. "Had a funeral today."

"I told you."

"Then you vanish and I don't even know if you did make it out." He didn't seem angry though. Relieved, was more like it, Reece was relieved. "Who did we bury today then?"

God. I didn't know.

I turned around, Reece's arms briefly loosening to let me, and hugged him as hard as he hugged me. He breathed out slowly, shaking, nose against my hair. "You're back. Welcome home."

"Nick's in New York?"

"Antonio took him and the triplets. He isn't coping well. Matt wanted to stay at Forestwatch so Jeremy's with him." Reece stood back then, grasping my hand, and we headed downstairs so we didn't wake anyone. I followed him outside. "Want me to come with you?"

"Yeah. If you're not doing anything else." I had to admit, I did. I didn't want to be without pack for a second.

"Nope. I'll get my stuff." Reece kissed my forehead and headed back inside. He returned with his keys and wallet. "Should you leave a note for Jeremy?"

"I... guess I should." I didn't want to wait a second more. I wanted to race after Nick. But he was right. I scribbled a quick note, adding that Lucas would explain it too, and we headed off for the airport again. Once I rounded up Nick, I'd come straight back for Matt, be here before breakfast if I could. He'd know by then.

"How did Matt take it?"

"I can't tell you. He hasn't said a word and didn't come to the funeral." Reece said softly, hands on the wheel, as we made our way back to the airport. "I don't think he's taking it well. He'll be okay though."

"And Nick?"

He shook his head, lips pressing together, and didn't answer.

That said more than any words. I sighed out, slowly, shutting my eyes. How could I explain it to him? Suddenly I felt like I'd made the wrong choice again, even though logically I hadn't, even though we'd achieved a small victory over someone who always seemed a few steps ahead of us.

"Clayton didn't take it well either." He finally said, softly, after we'd boarded the nearly empty plane. No one like flying this time of night apparently. "I thought I'd have to rescue you from him after today."

"He didn't?"

"He almost attacked Demetruis's mother when she showed up with your twins. He was about ready to drag her to the basement and get answers out of her, little old lady or not. Jeremy's been keeping him sedated to keep him calm." He reached out to touch my hand. "I really was starting to think..."

"Sorry. We weren't allowed to call anyone." I grasped his hand in mine, stroking it, aware that the fear was back in Reece's face. God. What had I done to them?

"Did it work? Did you get the bastard?"

I nodded and he smiled only then, squeezing my hands.

"Good."

Once we'd reached New York we headed for the apartment. Nick prefered it, we hoped he'd be there, but when we got there it was quiet. Not empty though. Antonio and Lillian were both there. She must have been in bed somewhere but Antonio wasn't. Antonio was awake, sitting at the table, looking like he'd actually been crying. He stared at me as we walked in, sitting up, face draining of blood.

"Surprise!" Reece tried to smile, tried to joke, as I was captured in another pair of arms.

We stood there, Antonio hugging me, my arms trapped, and after a while he released me. "What happened?"

I explained, quickly, while trying to not look for Nick. Antonio listened, took it all in quickly, and nodded as he sat down and made me sit down beside him.

"I..." He reached out, touching my face, hand shaking. "Sorry. I'm just … I thought ..."

"Sorry."

"No. I'm relieved." He got up again, hugged me again, as if he couldn't let go of me. "I'm so damn relieved. Want me to wake the babies?"

"No. I'll say hello later. Is Nick here?"

Antonio stiffened and slid back, sitting, shaking his head. "He went to the clubs."

He went nightclubbing? I stared at him as he tried to smile, tried to stop shaking, disbelief.

"He didn't cope. Last I saw him, he was heading out the door already half drunk. I can call him and try and get him to come back. Or you could." He offered me the phone and I shook my head.

"Find out where he is and I'll go get him. He's drunk." The last thing we needed was for Nick to try and walk or drive back pissed out of his head.

Antonio called him and they spoke briefly. It was when he tried to tell Nick that I was alive that I heard Nick hang up on him. He grimaced, repeating the club name tom e, and reached out to hug me again before we took off to find this place.

I reconised it. It was the same place we'd had a fight in. He was standing at the bar, or rather, he was slumped at the bar, head in his hands, ignoring the entire world except for the drink he was staring into, still in a black suit. They were all ignoring him now. He wasn't the life of the party and growled at anything that came too close. Reece squeezed my shoulder.

"I'll be watching." He reassured me.

I tried to call Nick, tried to get his attention, but he kept his back on everyone. Ignored my hand. Ignored me. He couldn't see us, didn't want to see us, he was just gone. Shut down.

"Sorry, Miss. He isn't moving." The bartender tried to apologise. "I'd call security but..." The look he gave Nick, full of sympathy, it told me exactly what Nick's face looked like.

"Tell them to put Closer on." I knew that'd get his attention.

"Closer?"

"By ...I don't know. Ne-something. That'll get his attention."

Reece nodded and faded. I didn't know how he managed it but it only took a few minutes before it was on.

Like I suspected, Nick's head swung up, the rage and grief so horrible that my regret coming back. He didn't see me, he didn't see anyone, he literally pushed past me to get to the DJ booth as the song started.

I followed him easily, he was shoving people out of his way, and grabbed his arm, yanking him easily back, pushing him backwards until his back met a wall. The smell of dampness was all over his collar, all over his tie, face white,eyes red. He stared at me, blinking, the rage not gone but ...replaced with more grief. He thought I wasn't real. Tears were running down his face. Too many fucking tears.

We stood there, quiet, as the song played, his eyes focusing and unfocusing, the alcohol fucking with his head as badly as the lie I'd had to play out.

He was alive. The sudden realisation really hit me now. Nick hadn't been exploded in some stupid fire. I shuddered myself, relief flooding me, leaning against his chest as his scent filled my lungs. I heard his heart racing against his chest, his body shaking, his breathing shuddering with something as tears fell onto my head and bare shoulders. A forehead flopped onto my head, arms tentatively grasping my arms, and neither of us spoke. I felt his tears, hot and salty, running into my hair. Down my head.

I finally moved, as the song ended and another one came on, Nick's hands tightening when I tried. Slowly I backed out, his body following mine automatically, Reece behind us. Only when we were outside did I make him let go, grasping his hand, leading him to the waiting car. He was so damn drunk that he struggled to walk, staggering, and Reece had to help him stay upright.

"I'm seeing things." He said, when Reece got him into the car. I had to sit behind him.

"No, you're not." Reece replied, going around, and got into the driver's seat. "Don't throw up."

Nick did throw up, and there wasn't anything either of us could do about it, and when we got the the apartment the sight of me made him flinch again.

"I'm seeing things." Nick muttered, as Reece slipped an arm under him, holding him up while I got the doors and lift opened.

"Pink bunnies? Yellow kangaroos?" Reece tried to joke off the vomit that was all over Nick, and so, all over Reece.

"Liz." Nick reached for me. I slid my hand into his, ignoring the wetness there, and he shut his eyes as the tears started again. When he drew me into his other side I didn't resist or care that I was getting covered by the shit. He needed me there.

Antonio looked like he half expected me to be not real as well, that same shock still there when we stumbled back in, but he took one look at Nick and went with Reece into the bathroom to clean him up while I tried to change in the other bathroom.

Briefly I looked at the toddlers. They were asleep, Lillian in the room with them, looking unaffected by the dramas we were going through.

I realised that tomorrow... no, today... was Nick's birthday. I hoped he wasn't too hung over. Then their birthday in a few more days.

Shouts, cursing, and grunts came from the bathroom. I shut the door quietly, turning, and hurried into the other bathroom as Nick struggled with Antonio and Reece, half dressed, the shower soaking him.

He froze as I came in. I opened my arms, Nick's jaw opening, and he stepped the few steps, almost falling over in his haste, grabbing me in a wet embrace.

"I don't care if you are a hallucination." He muttered. "Don't go. I'll keep drinking. Don't go away again."

"Stop drinking and let them shower you."

When he made no move to get back in the shower, I sighed, and led him in myself. Nick stood there placidly as the water washed away the vomit, eyes fixed in me as it soaked me too, and when he made no move to struggle or fight, Antonio and Reece left him with me.

Nick passed out halfway through dressing, eyes shutting, and they helped me drag him into the living room and onto the couch . He looked fucking awful. The creases in his face were worse, he hadn't shaved since he'd found out, and even asleep he was struggling with nightmares. I fell asleep in the chair next to him, only waking when Antonio shook me awake and told me to get into dry clothing and get some sleep. He'd be passed out for a while and I needed to sleep.

I wanted to argue but I was so exhausted that I did what he told me. Only when he promised to call Jeremy, though, and wake Matt to tell him I was okay. After seeing Nick I didn't want Matt to wait a second longer to find out I was safe and alive.

This time I slept deep and without a single dream.

The bed sunk as a heavy body crawled onto it and onto me, waking me early the next morning, Nick's scent pinning me down as much as his body was. He stared at me, hands stroking my face, brushing hair out of it. He cringed as light hit him, swearing, rolling off me to shut the blinds, then he flopped back onto our bed.

"You feel real." He muttered, not drunk, but there was pain in his eyes with the movement. He was badly hungover. Nick lifted my hand, stroking the bracelet still there, kissing the soft skin. "Taste real."

"I'm real."

He shuddered softly, eyes shutting, head flopping onto my shoulder. I rolled onto my side and slid a leg over him. Nick opened one eye, then the other, fear there for a fraction of a second as if he was sure he'd open them and I'd be gone.

"I had this fucking awful dream. You died. There was a funeral." He growled, suddenly pushing me back, pinning me down. "Too much booze."

"No, that was real. I didn't die though. We had to hide." I reached up to stroke his face, amazed at the texutre of his hair- unwashed!-, running my hands over his whiskers. "So we broke the contract."

"The contract?" Nick shut his eyes, head flopping onto my chest, breathing in and out slowly. It took him a while to understand what I was saying. "You're his slave now?"

"Other way around." Despite myself, despite the horrible expression he'd had last night that was burnt into my mind now and for the rest of my life, I smiled somewhat then. Nick lifted his head and blinked.

Then I saw it. Just the faintest trace of relief and amusement. He groaned, gathering me up in his arms, holding me hard against his chest as we lay there.

"Fuck, Aussie."

"Fuck." I agreed, wrapping arms around him. "I ...thought you might have died."

"When?" He lifted his head up a bit too fast, cringing, but when he kissed me hard, I knew he was as much alive as I was. I couldn't answer for a long time, our lips trying to kiss each other, the desperation and relief put into it, our breathing faster now. "When?"

"Clayton's car exploded." I finally answered, as he slid back, yanking clothing out of his way.

"We weren't in it. We were told to stay outside, not stay in the car, so we... were outside. Hold on a second." Nick stood up, stripping as fast as he could.

"Now?" I leaned up and he grinned, weak, the traces of the pain still there.

"Please." He crawled back onto the bed, slowly, and when I nodded he lowered himself between my legs.

The relief we felt when we rejoined bodies, skin brushing against skin, his heart racing against mine, it was all Nick needed... he needed to be sure I was really there. Not a fantasy or a hallucination. He groaned softly against my ear as he froze, arms wrapping around me, my legs squeezing his hips.

"You're really here." Nick said, quietly, gazing down at me. He shut his eyes, grinding his hips hard againts mine, feeling my responding grind back, breathing out in a long low shudder, his hands running along my thighs and gently pulling them up higher.

"Look. I'll prove it." I leaned up, bit him hard, sharp, breaking the skin, and he hissed in pain, teeth finding me and biting back hard. We growled, nipping and licking and kissing each other, nails digging into each other as he started to move then, harder, desperate almost, hands trying to tear the shirt out of his way. I did it for him.

It only took a few minutes of this before we felt our release, not his or mine, but the release together, Nick shaking above me as it flooded through his body and into mine, and my eyes shut as it spread through my hips and throughout my body, pleasure making me go limp in his arms.

He collapsed on top of me, shaking, kissing my sweaty skin.

"Happy birthday." I murmured against his ear, my breathing slowing, reaching up to stroke the skin I'd nipped a bit too hard.

"Next time you fake death, I'm faking it with you." He growled, softly, refusing to get off me as I nudged him.

"We have to go home. To Stonehaven. I have to see Matt."

"In a few minutes." Nick shut his eyes, his breathing slowing, and I sighed.

I fell asleep too, the warmth of his body not bothering me for a while, not till the summer day got warmer. When he shifted up, I woke, and Nick shifted to my side.

"Sorry..." I finally said it. He smiled a tense smile.

"Don't do that again. Okay?"

I nodded and he shut his eyes again.

We got fifteen minutes before the door opened and Susie led the charge into the bedroom. Nick got up and dressed quickly, throwing me another big tshirt of his, and we crawled onto the bed for snuggles. They knew I'd 'died' but they weren't sure what that meant, so they weren't too upset, just glad to see me. A week away, to them, was bad. Very bad.

"We're on a flight back." Antonio came in soon after, bringing breakfast, offering Nick a glass of water and a couple of pills. "How's your head?"

"She cured it." Nick took the pills anyway, as Antonio opened the blinds and made him cringe, one hand still fixed firmly onto mine.

"Happy birthday." Antonio smiled at Nick, a warm affectionate smile, before he sat down beside us, taking Susie as she crawled to him, relief flooding his face as he reached out to touch my leg. Tentative. Like he wasn't sure himself. "Guess you got a good present."

"Here." I slipped the bracelet off and gave it to Nick. "Keep it safe."

Nick nodded a fraction, fingering it, then reaching out to stroke my face. "You keep safe. It's just metal and carbon."

"Uh huh."

Antonio helped us pack up the toddler's things, thankfully mostly still packed from the trip down to New York the day before, and with Reece and Lillian's help, we got onto the plane with as little drama as possible. Three car seats in the baggage compartment, three suitcases for the three of them, plus the extra ones for adults... travelling with toddlers was not easy. It slowed us down quite a lot.

Clayton was waiting for us when we got to the smaller airport. He looked tense, stressed, but when he saw me he smiled a fraction, even happy to accept a hug from me, inhaling slowly. "Thought you were a dream till I saw Lucas."

"You were drugged."

"Jeremy."

Of course. If Clayton had really tried to attack Demetruis's mother... logical step to take.

He was still tense though and took me aside, as they got the toddlers and baggage into the waiting car. "Thought you'd want to hear now."

"Hear?"

"Matt ran away last night." Clayton's hand tightened on my arm as I jerked. "Jeremy went to wake him and he was gone. We're going to chase after him when we've got your toddlers home. He's little. He won't run fast."

I nodded, shutting my eyes, wishing to god I'd just thought of...stopping in there. I'd been in such a rush to get to Nick. I could have woken him myself. I thought I'd let him sleep. Stupid idea. Really stupid.

"If you're beating yourself up again then stop before I do it for you." Clayton's voice cut through my thoughts. "Come on."

I sat in the front seat as they waited for Clayton to come around with his car- there wasn't enough room for all of us in one car- and tried to not panic. Matt wasn't a dumb kid. He'd be ok till we found him.

A voice came out through the hum of voices. A woman's voice, pleasant, polite, and a little amused. I wasn't sure why, out of all those voices, hers would come through like it was...

Not till I realised what she was saying.

"-orry, but without your guardian or parent' here, we can't allow you to buy any tickets to Alaska, Australia, or anywhere else."

"But I have a note from my mum." That was Matt's voice. I was jumping out of the car before Antonio could blink, slipping through the doors and a couple of people with suitcases. "And a credit card."

"Notes don't work here, sorry. Would you like me to call someone?"

I could see him at the desk, holding up a crumbled note and a card, red hair vivid through the crowd, his backpack stuffed with something. I jogged across, Antonio calling me back, the wind blowing my scent right at Matt through the crowd. He spun around, eyes widening, that stubborn determined 'I'll get my way one way or another' expression fading.

He stared at me, note still in hand, and as I skidded up to him, he burst into tears. Matt, stubborn, strong, and a little too keen to wander off on his own... crying.

"Are you his mum?"

"His aunt. Guardian." I picked Matt up when his legs gave way, lifting up him, his arms flying around my neck and clutching on like a little monkey. Or a little puppy. He was whimpering and sniffing, snot and tears already flowing freely, clutching so hard I wondered if he was trying to throttle me at the ssame time. "Sorry for the problem. He ran away."

"It's all right. Here's your card. I was going to call them up." She handed me the card and the note.

"Y-you p-promised." I heard his voice, devastated, clutching harder still when I tried to free one arm to get it.

"Let me get the card and we'll go into the car." I tried to sooth him, taking the card and stroking his back, no more tough grown up kid act from him. "Thanks."

"No problem."

I turned and headed back for the car. Antonio was waiting, Clayton just pulling up, and he shook his head as he saw who was latched onto my neck.

"Where was he trying to go?"

"Alaska or Australia. I'm not sure." I slid into the front seat with Matt, after trying to detach him, but he refused to let go of me and go in Clayton's car. In the end, Lillian had to go in Antonio's car, and I got into the back seat of Clayton's car with Matt in my lap. "Hey, look. I'm here."

"You promised to not die!" He started to hit me then, hard hits an adult man would envy, putting all his wolfishness into it, growling and baring his teeth as I grabbed his hands. "You promised!"

"I didn't die, did I? See? Right here."

When he gave up trying to yank his hands free I let go and he curled up again in my lap, refusing to get off, until I had to give in and put the seat belt around the two of us.

I felt him tremble, breathing hard, and stroked his back slowly, trying to calm him down. Changing in the car wouldn't be much fun.

Clayton drove away carefully, Nick beside us, his hand in my free one. He held up the note and I had to suppress the urge to laugh. It, while a very nice note, was very clearly not written by an adult. I had to give it to Matt though. Nothing was spelt wrong, the letters were neat, and while the wording wasn't really there... 'please let matt go to australia because he has to go home and I will be on another plane soon thankyou anne matts mom' … I wondered if spell check was really such a bad thing after all.

Matt was still crying as I folded it up and pushed it into the seat pocket thing. I helped him get the backpack off and dropped it to the ground.

"They had a funeral for you and everything." He tried to talk, jaw shaking, shoulders heaving as he cried his heart out. It broke my heart and I squeezed him against me.

"I know. They know I'm okay now. It was a misunderstanding. Where were you going?"

He didn't answer for a long time. Just sat there and breathed in and out, slowly, eyes shut, leaning against me. Then, "Australia but she said I couldn't go. I thought I could join the dingos. So then I thought I could go to Alaska because I heard there are wolves there and I thought I could join them."

It made sense, so to speak, from his logic. Australians would notice a little red wolf running with dingos- we had no wolves - and they'd assume he was an escaped pet running free. I also doubted that dingos would even let him near them. I wondered if wolves would accept him either. Probably not, he was a young male.

"Where were you?" Matt looked up now. His face was covered in snot and tears. I glanced at Nick, who shrugged off his shirt without a thought and offered it to me. I wiped it as he glanced at me.

"I had to stay hiding for a while. There was a man who tried to hurt me and we had to make him think I was dead. I heard what you did with the man trying to hurt Logan. I'm very proud." I smiled a litlte, as the trace of a smile appeared then, wiping his face gently with the shirt.

"You said to not kill so I made his legs stop working." He smiled a little. "He was trying to take Logan away."

Clayton glanced back. "You get trained earlier for that."

That cheered Matt up. He slid out of my lap and into the spot between us when I undid the seatbelt for him, pulling his own on, glancing around.

"So where are your babies?" He glanced at Nick then, confused. "The little ones."

"They're with their father." I replied, as Nick's arm came across the back of the seat over Matt's head, finding my bare shoulder and stroking it gently.

"Who is he? Isn't he Nick?" He glanced from me to Nick, caught the tenseness in Nick's face, and frowned. "Did you cheat on Nick?"

"No, she didn't cheat." Nick spoke up, shaking his head, his fingers still stroking my skin slowly. "It wasn't her fault."

"The father made me get pregnant. Do you know about how babies are made?" I flinched a little. Maybe I should have had this talk with him but he was so young. Schools had health classes.

"Women have eggs in their womb in their stomach and men make it grow. My teacher said that it was messy and only adults could do it and we were lucky. Sex." He said the word without really getting what it meant, I suspected, but he nodded gravely. "So someone made you get pregnant when you didn't want to."

I nodded and he frowned. "But why do they stay with you if he made you do it?"

"Because I want them. I love them like I love you and the triplets. I don't want any of you to go anywhere." I squeezed his shoulder, so relieved that we'd found him without much issue. It made sense that he'd come to the airport. He must have walked the whole way, how incredible, but it showed how upset he'd been.

"Why do they stay with him then? Aren't you angry with him?"

"Because ..." Shit. I didn't know how to explain that one. I was about to come up with something about how they had a grandmother when Nick spoke up. I knew he couldn't resist.

"Because the man threatened her. But we're not letting them stay with him any more. Are we?"

I shook my head, Matt's frown deepened. He was putting the pieces together pretty fast, like the smart kid he was, his hand still clutching to mine. "Is that the one that tried to hurt you?" I nodded and he seemed to get it now. "But where are they now?"

"Safe with the man's mother. We're getting them back today or tomorrow." Today, I was determined it would be today, but I added tomorrow just in case. Matt had been through enough to be disappointed.

"Is that why you ran away for months?" Matt blurted it out, sudden, and I saw the hurt in his face. He might have liked what I'd done after but not during it. "You never called me."

"I was upset about ...about being made pregnant. When I didn't want it. It was like he'd beaten me up but it was going on for a long time. I thought it was better to stay away till it was over." I tried to explain, tried so hard, but he didn't answer for a long time.

"It was like being beaten up?"

"It hurt to be like that when it wasn't Nick's one."

"You shouldn't have gone. We would have taken care of you." He muttered, shutting his eyes, leaning on me. "If Nick was mean I would have bit him."

"Exactly." Clayton muttered. I gave him a look and he returned it.

"See? Clayton knows." Matt's breathing was slowing. "It's okay. You can be hurt around us. I won't make fun of you."

He was already falling asleep after a few minutes and we made the last of the journey in silence, Nick's hand not leaving my shoulder, as Clayton drove quietly.

It was fine for us, I realised, because we were back together. Nearly. But his Elena, our Alpha, was still missing. I gave him a tense smile in the mirror and he tried to return it, he did his best, but it was closer to a scowl than a smile.

We got out and I lifted Matt up, Nick taking his backpack, carefully carrying him into Forestwatch. It was his home and it made more sense for him to come here. Antonio's car was already here, the sound of someone having a tantrum inside, Nick groaning softly as he jogged ahead of me to try and help his dad with an unhappy toddler. Toddlers? Sounded like Antonio had a dozen of them screaming in there.

Matt woke as we entered the house, getting me to put him down, and said he wanted to go sleep for a while. He looked so buggered that I nodded and he vanished upstairs, tugging his ruined shoes off and throwing them on the ground, and I didn't tell him off. Just picked them up calmly and dropped them on the porch outside.

Three screaming toddlers captured my legs at once, tears running down their faces, looking like they'd been crying for hours.

"Sorry. They panicked when you didn't come back." Antonio was holding a chocolate bar and looked exhausted. "Matt okay?"

"Tired. He's fine."

"I'll take food up for him." Nick volunteered, cringed when Antonio gave him a look, and changed his mind. "I'll help you. Dad, can you..."

"I've already got it waiting in the oven." Lillian called. She smiled at Nick, then at me, before she and Antonio retreated as fast as they could.

I knew I'd been away too long too much when I sat down and they all tried to get into my lap at once. Three nearly three year olds, crying, telling me that I had to stay now, clinging to me with some serious separation issues that I knew we'd probably have to deal with for a long time now. Bugger. Matt might have got it, I hoped, but ...they were a bit young.

Nick sat down beside me in the doorway and we sat with them, rocking them, singing to them, till their hysterical crying quietened and they started to fall asleep on me. Not one allowed Nick to move them, all three staying put somehow, only letting him when they were asleep.

"They'll calm down." He smiled a weak smile. "I should have been with them more."

"Me too." I nuzzled against them, sighing softly, Lily's hand holding onto my top hard. "We'll put them in the living room. I'll ...stay there."

"Okay."

He helped me by taking Lily, gently unwinding her hand from me, and we carried them into the living room. Nick put Lily down for a moment, dragging the cushions onto the floor, and we lay them down side by side, the three of them curled up and clutching to each other.

Nick brought us some food and we sat there, side by side, leaning against the couch and watching them sleep. He wrapped an arm over my shoulder and I leaned against him.

"How's your hangover?"

"I can cope." He smiled a tense smile. "Took some more asprin in the kitchen. I keep thinking you're a dream."

I pinched the sore spot on his neck, where I'd bitten him, and he cringed and nipped my finger. "Feel like a dream?"

"Felt like a dream for years." He muttered, stroking my hair, as I lay back with my head in his lap. "I'll get your ring repaired."

"It was found?"

"Yeah. The pieces are upstairs. I was going to repair them one day." He shut his eyes, the pain flashing through them a moment, but I stroked his face and he leaned into my hand. "Shit. Next time you fake a death I'm doing it with you."

"Won't be another time." I bloody well hoped there wouldn't, anyway. "They're so big now."

Our eyes went back to the toddlers, and Nick laughed softly.

"Dad was teaching them Italian while you were gone. I suppose I better teach you."

"I guess you better. You speak it?"

He nodded, hand tracing through my hair, and I shut my eyes as he spoke in it. He could have been calling me names, for all I cared, it was Nick's voice speaking another language. And the tone of his voice was soft, gentle, even soothing. I could have fallen asleep right then and there

"Nick?"

"Mmm?"

"If anyone comes today, looking for me, even if it's Jeremy...tell them to bugger off. I'm worried about Elena but ...I want to be near you for now. And them. I don't know anything more than anyone else." I opened one eye.

"You got it. No one comes in. Can we let Dad and Lillian out?"

"They can come and go. They're your parents." I smiled as he leaned down, kissing me gently, and sat up so our heads were the right way. "Did they make up properly?"

"I'm working on it." I saw it, the flicker of something there, a cheeky look that suggested he was more than 'working' on it. Maybe Nick had really decided it'd happen. God help them if he did. He was laid back about nearly everything but when he made up his mind about something...

The small hand distracted me from our make out session, Dominic crawling between us, yawning and looking more relaxed now. He snuggled in between us as we kissed, his eyes shutting, and I breathed in and out slowly.

"Next time I fake death, you can all fake it with me. The entire family. The entire pack. We'll take a holiday together."

"Deal." He laughed softly, leaned down to kiss his son's reddish curls, and then me again. "They were singing."

"What?" I gazed down in wonder at Dominic.

"To the radio. Susie got the idea and the other two liked it so they sing now." He laughed softly. "I was too ...to really care. But you should have seen them. Every time there's a song they try to copy it. It drives the older kids mad during a disney movie. They did it just before I came back."

"You were trying to find Elena?" I hadn't meant to bring up 'business' but it was impossible not to.

"And you. And Lucas. Thought you were all together. If I'd known you were..."

"It doesn't matter. We wouldn't have let you find us. What happened?" I stroked his face. Behind me, I heard Lily and Susie start to wake, but neither of them were upset or screaming, just talking to each other sleepily about something in words I did not get. Their 'triplet language' they'd had for years.

"We saw Reece and Paige leave, so we thought we'd sneak into the back and see what was going on. Then our car blows up, and they're racing outside, and Clayton saw Elena being shoved into a dark van. So we stole Paige's car and chased them." He stroked my hair, slowly. "I saw more explosions but we were more focused on Elena. We chased that car for miles. Then when it vanished, we traced him for miles more. We lost sight of her though and lost him. I come back, Dad told me you were..." His breath hitched then, his lips finding mine, as if he needed to make sure I was really there. "Well, I don't know much after that. It went blurry."

"I'm sorry I didn't ..."

"You got him to break that stupid fuc... spell. He can't make you his slave." He nipped my lip. "Worth it after that scare he gave us. Fuc..."

I nipped him as he nearly swore again, and he laughed, one of the girls finally getting up to join the snuggle. Lily was fast after her sister and again we had to figure out how to snuggle triplets between the two of us.

"Show Mama your singing." Nick asked Lily, who beamed at him, all trace of her unhappiness gone, standing up much straighter.

I watched in amazement as she started to sing and Susie joined in. Dominic refused to, he just sat between us, watching his sisters with his big blue eyes, sucking his thumb against my chest. When Nick tried to detach it I saw him hold onto it harder, stubborn, giving his dad such a classic glare that I had to laugh. It looked like a glare I'd see from Clayton.

"He knows what he wants."

Dominic gazed up at me as I laughed, the glare fading, looking pleased with himself. Uh oh. I may have just ...encouraged this.

Oh well. He was cute when he sucked his thumb. I stroked his face, the curls adorable, and clapped for the girls when they finished their song.

Matt came down in time for lunch. He seemed better too, once he'd reassured himself that I was really back, and chased around the toddlers while I tried to make lunch for everyone. Antonio helped out.

Some part of me was waiting desperately for news about the twins. Nothing though. No call, I didn't see Jeremy after Nick made it clear on the phone that I needed that day alone, and even I was starting to get tempted to walk over to Stonehaven and just check. You never knew. Maybe Benicio had called there.

Antonio checked for me, after he saw me glance at my phone, and nothing. Lucas was still there though and they wanted to come over for Nick's birthday. Everyone.

"As long as there's no business talk. Till after midnight."

Antonio nodded, repeating this, and I heard someone curse. Clayton probably was eager to get onto chasing that asshole down now. I knew why, I couldn't blame him, but ...if he'd seen how the triplets had reacted, he would understand. They noticed when I was gone. Maybe they'd been noticing for a long time now.

"Do you want to cook? We can get something." Antonio asked, when he hung up, coming over to hug me with that same affectionate hug.

"Yeah. You can get something. I'm tired." I smiled weakly as I leaned against him a moment. "I'll make a cake and that's about all I can handle right now."

"We'll get something in town and come back. Won't be long." He picked up his keys. "Lily, want to come or help make his cake?"

Lillian glanced up from where she was admiring toddler drawnings. It was Nick's first birthday, I realised, the first one she'd been to. It was a huge day for her.

"I want to help with the cake. If you don't mind."

"No. They'll be here in a few hours with more food, I'll head off now." He ksised my forehead and then smiled warmly at Lily, who managed to return it, before heading outside and trying to ignore the stampede of toddler feet who caught onto what he was doing.

It wasn't just me they were getting anxious about, apparently, because the second he was gone they burst into tears again.

Lillian and I comforted them, Nick got the bright idea of putting a movie on with songs, and this distracted them enough.

"Chitty chitty bang bang?" I laughed as I saw them crowd around the TV.

"I loved it when I was little." He shrugged. "Had a huge crush on truly. This is the sixteenth time I've put it on for them."

"Sixteenth?" I watched them sit there, totally enwraptured, the tears drying on their cheeks.

"They like the songs. Can I help make the cake?"

"No." Both Lillian and myself said it at the same time, glancing at each other, and Nick held up his hands.

"Okay, I'll ...go upstairs. Check work. Don't go far."

We cooked while the toddlers watched the movie, Matt sitting down to watch too, only sneaking out to get a spoonful of the cake batter when he smelt the oven on. Lillian watched them, smiling gently, as if she couldn't believe where she was right now.

"It must have been hard to be without him." I said quietly, when it was in the oven, and she flinched a little.

"Every time this day comes, I'm used to dreading it. I don't know what to do with myself." She admitted softly. "It's like a dream."

I understood. If I never saw the twins again, their birthday would be a nightmare, memories I couldn't bear to remember.

"What color icing?" I held up the box and she glanced at it, smiled that wicked smile I'd seen on Nick so much.

"Let's do a lot of colors. For the fun of it."

I nodded and we mixed up icing, separated it, and went crazy with the food colouring, mixing up a bunch of colours that made no real sense. Once the cake was out and cooled, we cut it in half, filled it with the cream, and covered it in random layers and stripes and swirls of icing. It'd make the kids go a bit nuts tonight... but who cared. We were having fun.

Lillian went upstairs for a sleep, reminding me that she wasn't like Antonio, wasn't exactly young. I finished it off and slid it into the fridge as Nick came back down and lifted me up.

"Come watch the movie with me."

We sat down together, snuggling up, Matt coming to snuggle into my other arm with that affection he'd held back for a long time.

Antonio returned and headed upstairs, vanishing for some time, and when I went up to wrap Nick's present, I caught him and Lillian in the guest room. Kissing, like I'd never seen that man kiss, like he was drowning. Or she was drowning. It was kind of amusing, in a way, and neither of them noticed me. Her hand was shaking against his head, he was leaning over her, and I saw the glint of tears …

I left, leaving them to that, aware that I'd witnessed such a private moment... when they wanted Nick to know, they'd tell him. Maybe it was their first kiss. I didn't know. I wrapped the beer and the book separately, sliding the book under his pillow, where he could find it later. The sound of another hysterical cry made me rush back downstairs, Lily trying to climb over the toddler gate.

"Where you go?" She cried, as I picked her up, and sighed a long deep sigh.

"I went to my bedroom. Why are you crying?"

She didn't answer, just snuggled into my neck, sniffing. Bugger. I was never leaving this house again.

"It's Daddy's birthday today. Then your birthday in a few days." I informed her as we headed back into the living room.

"I'm free." She agreed, clutching to my top again, her brown eyes shutting as she snuggled up to me. "I want fogs."

Frogs. She had this thing about frogs. I remembered we'd agreed to get them big kid beds ….maybe I could paint frogs onto hers.

The sound of cars outside made my head swing up. Jeremy got out, closely followed by Clayton, Kate and Logan rushing ahead of them and bursting into the living room.

"Can we put the movie back to the start?" Kate was already picking up the remote.

I went to answer but Matt did it for me. "Okay."

Shaking my head, I watched her put it back to the start and settle beside Matt, Logan on the other side, the two of them glancing at me without any shock. Clearly they'd been warned.

"I called them." Matt explained. He smiled a little. "They said they didn't believe it."

"We know you and mum are okay. You're always okay." Kate explained.

Logan glanced from her to me, as if he wasn't totally convinced himself, but he smiled a small smile anyway.

Big arms, Jeremy's scent, both wrapped around me as he followed them in.

"I thought that was a dream." He admitted, stepping back, taking in me and Lily in one go. "She's got your face."

"Her grand dad's eyes though." I smiled weakly. "How's Clay doing?"

"Clay is doing fine." Clay replied from behind me. "Two minutes after midnight and we ..."

"We know. Go put that food away and relax. It's Nick's birthday." Jeremy glanced behind him.

Clay moved past me to put the piles of food in the kitchen. Lucas and Paige, Jamie, Savannah, Adam, Reece and even Daniella. She was still avoiding looking at him but she smiled at me, squeezing my arm with her free arm, the other holding another bag of food.

"Clayton is going to be in your den for a few hours tonight working on it." Jeremy said softly. He accepted Lily as she made sure she transferred herself to him. "I can't stop him completely. Hi Lily. How are you?"

He carried her away as she informed him about her birthday soon.

I saw Lucas come back now his arms were free and he smiled a tense smile, glancing behind him to where Paige was nearby, her eyes fixed on his back. "How did they it?"

I shrugged. "Nick was drunk out of his head. How about you?"

"Paige took some sleeping pills. I had to wait till morning. She is still shocked." He smiled a small tense smile. "I think she understands but she is a little angry with us."

"Have you heard from Benicio?"

"No. Sorry." Lucas' eyes darkened a little. "I haven't heard anything either. He said he'd try and get the twins. We just have to let him do it safely. I did try and call him today a few times."

Safely was good. It was great. But I still felt so anxious. I had to see them before I believed they were safe.

"No business, remember?" Clayton growled, as he came back over, leaning against my shoulder. "Nick was drunk last night, huh."

"Out of his brain."

He didn't answer, just leaned there, breathing in and out slowly. "I am glad you're back."

The words were quiet, soft, and Lucas didn't hear them.

"We'll get her. Remember, the last time they tried to capture her..." In that van, when we'd been trying wedding dresses on, and she'd freed herself. Walked back home.

"They don't know what kind of woman they're messing with."

"Or mate." I added, as he stood up again.

"They know exactly what they're messing with, with me, and it shows they're mad." He tried to smile, tried to look confidant, but it wasn't working. There was a deep anxiety and panic in Clayton's eyes that threatened to explode all over the place. "I'm in your den if you come looking. Nick's present is on the table. Check before you come in."

In other words, I had to make sure he hadn't changed in the panic he was in. "Okay."

"I ain't going without you. You've got a hold over the bastard. We're freeing her and letting her take over." He added, glancing over at Jeremy who'd returned. "No need for more drugs."

"I hope not." Jeremy replied. He was uncertain though. "Let me know. There's no need for panic either."

Clayton nodded a fraction, no smile there now, just that anxiety and panic in his face. He turned and headed off for the den without another word to us.

He didn't come out for the food, Jeremy took it into him, and we smiled and laughed, though I knew Clayton was falling apart. It was strange to see. Big tough guy, dangerous, and one hundred percent linked to Elena so deeply. Nick went in to sit with him for a while, then I did, taking in food and making him eat only when I reminded him we'd need energy. He looked like he'd been neglecting food for a while.

The cake lured him out though and even he had a twitch of the lips when he saw Lillian and I's 'creativity' with the icing.

We managed to keep the toddlers from having any, at least not till the next day, because the sugar would knock them over and keep them awake all night. The kids gorged themselves though. It was lucky it was a big cake.

I saw Lillian and Antonio, that night, sometimes a little more affectionate. Nothing obvious. A brush of a hand across an arm, or a glance that lasted a little longer than usual, a secret smile. No one else noticed, except Nick, and I wasn't sure if he believed it or not.

Nick helped me get the toddlers into bed that night, and we sang them to sleep, Nick using Italian and I was doing some random song... and they loved it. They fell asleep, the fan blowing the cool air across the three of them, all curled up in the same cot together, apparently not yet wanting to be separate from each other. This separation anxiety might be a problem later but it wasn't going to matter right now.

Lucas and Paige were going to stay here tonight, in case Benicio called, and she finally came over and thanked me. Then hit me. Then thanked me again. Lucas shrugged slightly.

Nick led me upstairs, Matt racing around with the kids, with a few hours left till midnight. Jeremy was watching them for us.

"What?"

"I found your present under the pillow. Marked a few pages." He smiled , crawling onto the bed, but his smile faded when I didn't follow him. "What?"

I shut the door and locked it. Then, with him watching, I stripped. Nick lay back, watching, a mixture of amusement and interest, and when I was done I crawled over, heels still on, and let him show me one of his 'marked pages'.

We fell asleep tangled up, after he'd thrown my heels to one side, napping against each other.

A soft knock startled me later that night, and I got up in a hurry, Nick lifting up to watch me, as I tugged on clothing as fast as I could. It was either Lucas with news or...

It was Clayton, leaning against the hallway, no trace of tiredness in his face. There was only the anxiety and fear there, just barely hidden in his eyes, as he glanced from me to Nick. Nick stood up and dressed, clearly not intending on being left out of this one, before he strode over and stood beside me.

"Time to work."