Chapter 4

He had her in his arms.

Sylvester kissed her some more, as he held her he shifted closer to the bed, knowing right now nothing made sense but being on that soft matress with Penelope, holding her, touching her, feeling the heat of her body warm next to his own skin, close, closer still until the two of them were making love...

As they fell back onto the pillows she gave a gasp, feeling the weight of his body on top of her and as he held her she seemed so slender and fragile compared to his own body, made so firm after years of working out in prison gym.

Her hands slid over his shoulders, over the inked pictures that were etched forever beneath his flesh.

As her hands moved around his body and she ran them down the tiger that covered half his back, Sylvester felt the sharpness of the memory:

Sitting there with his shirt off, waiting for the tattoo pistol to fire up, then the sound of the makeshift needle whining low like a dentist's drill splitting the air, while he waited for the pain of the heat and the ink to distract him from the pain of his life, his life spent incarcerated.

It was simply the exchange of one pain for another, instead of the many thoughts and regrets he carried every day, he would exchange it for stolen ink and a pistol made from radio parts punching holes into his skin for hours at a time, just to forget, to forget the reality of his situation for a short space of time while all he could think about was a different kind of pain...

The sharpness of the memory was burning his eyes as he took a sharp breath and sat up, blinking away tears that he did not want Penelope to see.

She sat up too, her blonde hair was slightly messed up and she ran her fingers through it and pushed it away from her face.

There was a confused expression in her eyes now.

"What's the matter?" She said, "I thought you wanted me...us...you wanted us to –"

"Maybe not." He said quietly, "I'm sorry, Penelope. This is too soon for me. And you're with Clyde. I wouldn't want to make your life complicated."

As he spoke he turned his back slightly, looking away from her.

Every word he had just said was a lie; he wanted her so badly he could think of nothing else but being with her- yet he felt so raw with the memory of the past, then thinking about the present and Penelope's situation with Clyde made him feel worse:

He had not wanted to come back into her life to cause problems for her - that was the last thing he ever wanted to do...

Penelope reached out and gently ran her hand down the tiger etched upon his back.

"Sylvester." She said quietly, "Look at me."

He hesitated.

"Just turn around, please sweetheart."

She had spoken so gently.

He turned back and looked into her eyes.

Penelope put her hand on his cheek and her touch was warm and soft.

"Maybe Clyde isn't the guy for me" She told him, deciding now would be the best time to voice the doubts she had been carrying in her heart for quite a while, the doubts that until now she had shared with no one.

"I want to think we're perfect together, but every time he wants us to move on with things and get closer and live together and plan the wedding - I just pull back from it. I think I know why. I don't feel for him in the way that I do for you."

Sylvester smiled on hearing those words and he wished life could be as simple as she had made it sound.

"But you've only just got to know me again. And you've been with him a long time! Maybe we're both getting swept away by emotion because of everything that happened in the past, the intensity of it – perhaps that's all it is. I don't want you making any decisions you might regret later on just because of me."

Penelope slid her hand over his shoulder.

"Because of you? Sylvester, how can you talk like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like you don't matter? Like you're not important to me?"

Her remark surprised him.

"I didn't realize you cared that much!"

Her eyes sparkled and her voice was filled with warmth now.

"You have no idea how much you mean to me. And you do matter; you matter a lot to me."

The gentle pressure on his shoulder was enough to persuade him to lie back down.

As he lay back on the pillow and she leaned over him, he laughed nervously.

"I feel like I might as well give up this fight."

Penelope smiled as she looked into his eyes.

"I think that would be the best decision, Sylvester. Because I'm not letting you go now."

As he looked up at her all his doubts slipped away and he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer and kissing her hard and deeply, then rolling over and turning her onto her back and as he pulled away from that kiss he was out of breath and his eyes had darkened with desire.

"It's been a long time." He said, reaching down and pushing her dress above her hips, "I've been away fifteen years. That's a very long time to go without-"

"I know." Penelope said softly, "It's okay, I understand."

Then her eyes widened as his sudden movement took her by surprise as he reached behind her and tugged down the zip at the back of her dress. He grabbed at the fabric and pulled it off her shoulders, sliding it down and he knew his hands were shaking as he ran them over her warm flesh.

He pulled her even closer as he reached down and nervously unbuckled his belt.

"Are you sure you want me?"

Penelope wrapped her arms around him and gave him a kiss, that kiss answered his question and blew away all trace of doubt.

Sylvester took her in his arms and made love to her, taking her with the urgency and desperate need of man who had been alone for far too long.

Snoozy had kept busy, cleaning up the bar and polishing the tables until the polish ran out.

Then he had gone shopping for groceries and when he came back home he let himself into the apartment quietly, not wanting to disturb Sylvester and his friend Penelope, who apparently had a lot to talk about.

He unpacked the groceries and put them away and then he stood in the kitchen with a worried look on his face as he thought about Clyde:

Sylvester didn't know about Clyde.

Nobody knew Clyde's secret.

But he didn't want Sylvester getting into trouble because he had no idea how dangerous the guy was...

What if he found out Sylvester was friendly with his girlfriend?

What if he got the wrong idea?

Snoozy gave a sigh as he shook his head; he didn't know what to do for the best in this situation.

Telling Sparks seemed like the best move to make – but if there was trouble over this, if Clyde came over to the bar...

Snoozy's eyes grew wider as he recalled the day Clyde had pinned him against the wall with a knife up against his face.

No, it was too risky...He couldn't tell anyone.

Then he thought some more about the situation and guessed maybe he was worrying too much.

"They're only friends..." He said quietly, "There's nothing going on..."

But he still felt concerned.

He had heard the word on the street that Clyde was a dangerous guy – he hadn't changed at all... he had got away with murder, too and he didn't doubt that he would do it again if he felt like it...

A wave of panic shuddered through him and he felt as if he was in a hopeless situation:

Opening his mouth about this could only make the situation worse, but he knew for sure if he said nothing that would be wrong, too – because he didn't want anything to happen to Sylvester...

He made his decision; he would talk to Sylvester about it - after he made him promise not to say a word to Sparks, because Clyde was a bad man to mess with and so was Sparks if he was severely provoked – and he didn't want anyone getting hurt...

Then he checked his watch.

Sylvester and Penelope had been talking in his room for a couple of hours now.

He decided to give them a while longer, and then he would ask again if they wanted a coffee – and maybe then Penelope would leave, and then he could tell Sylvester about Clyde...

Sylvester gave a deep sigh as he lay on his back with Penelope at his side.

"I never thought I'd ever feel this good again!" He exclaimed.

He wasn't shaking any more; now he felt relaxed, all his inhibitions gone after their first moments together as they kissed and embraced on his bed.

Now his clothing was in an untidy heap on the floor along with Penelope's dress and her white boots and her silk and lace underwear.

He moved closer to her, sliding his arm around her tiny waist as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"Do you love Clyde?" He asked her quietly.

"I thought I did." She admitted, "But obviously I don't - at least, not as much as I thought I did. I've never felt like this before, not like it is with you."

As she gently stroked her fingertips against his chest Sylvester knew he couldn't deny that she had made a very honest remark:

The love they had shared had been urgent, passionate, he had taken her hard on her back, needing nothing but to possess her body and even when it was over it wasn't enough, it went beyond sex- he wanted to be with her, be a part of her, never let go of her again...

"But what do you want to do?" He wondered, "I don't want to cause any problems with you and him."

Penelope thought about Clyde and made her choice; after what they had shared it wasn't a difficult decision to make.

"I'll break up with him. Not right away – I'll keep him at a distance, I'll tell him I need some space. Then when he's got used to that, I'll tell him we're over. I couldn't imagine doing it any other way because he's so sweet and kind."

Sweet and kind?

That remark baffled Sylvester completely; he could only assume it was Penelope's own sweet and kind nature that was to blame for seeing that guy in such a rose tinted light...

"If that's what you want to do, I'm happy with that." He told her, "And I won't put any pressure on you either way. You might change your mind about me."

She raised her head from his shoulder and looked at him in surprise.

"Why would I change my mind about you?"

And he looked back at her with a flicker of insecurity in his eyes.

"Well I'm no one special, am I..."

Her eyes grew even wider on hearing that

"Sylvester Sneekly, you are a very hot guy!" She exclaimed, "You just don't see it, do you?"

He laughed softly.

"Me? Are you sure you're not talking about some other guy?"

She looked fondly at the handsome man beside her whose toned body and prison tattoos did not match his gentle and softly spoken nature.

"I'm definitely talking about you. And you're gentle and sweet and such a nice guy - and I love you."

Those three words seemed to stop his heart for a second.

"You love me?"

Penelope gave him a kiss.

Sylvester felt an ache in his heart as she pulled back from that kiss and tears burned at his eyes and now he didn't even feel the need to hide them.

"I love you too." He whispered as his tears choked his voice, "I love you too, Penelope."

She put her arms around him and held him tightly as he pressed his face against her shoulder and gave a sob. She said nothing, just stroked his hair and held him while he let out the tears he had kept inside for too long.

As she held him her closeness seemed to ease the pain he felt at the years he had spent regretting so much in his life. As he took in a breath to steady himself, she brushed the tears away and looked into his eyes.

"It's like you said, it's over now. We have the future to think about, Sylvester – and we can do that together now."

"I'm so glad I found you again!" He told her as he held her tightly.

Then the door opened.

Penelope gave a gasp and grabbed the tangled sheets, pulling them up to cover herself.

She had pulled the sheets about herself so much that all Sylvester could do was grab a pillow and put it in front of him below the waist as he stared at Snoozy.

"What are you doing?" He demanded, "Haven't you ever heard of knocking on a door before you walk in to a person's bedroom? Are you some kind of pervert? Are you a peeping tom?"

Snoozy was staring right back at him.

His gaze shifted briefly to Penelope and then he looked back at Sylvester once more.

"You're...together?"

"Actually, yes we are - not that it's anyone else's business!"

Snoozy was still staring at him:

They were more than friends?

Sylvester was with Penelope?

He was sleeping with Clyde's woman?

If Clyde found out he would kill him for this...

"Oh no..."He said quietly, and then he looked away.

"Sorry...I didn't mean to walk in like that..."

And he quickly left the room again closing the door firmly behind him.

Penelope gave a sigh of relief as she let go of the covers.

"Sylvester, you need to start locking your door!" She told him.

But Sylvester was only half listening as he wondered about the look he had seen in Snoozy's eyes – he hadn't just been surprised or embarrassed to walk in on them like that, he seemed to be shocked about something else and he just couldn't work out what it could be. He decided to talk to him later on, after Penelope had gone home...

"Maybe you should come over to me next time." She said as she got up and started to get dressed.

Sylvester sat there for a moment leaning against the pillow as he let his eyes wander over the curves of her naked body and he smiled, still feeling the glow from their love making.

"I don't know what I ever did in my life to deserve a beautiful woman like you." He said honestly, "I still don't get what you see in a guy like me."

Penelope had put her underwear back on.

She leaned over him and looked into his eyes.

"Stop putting yourself down!" She told him, and she kissed him again, before turning back to her dress and picking it up off the floor.

She slipped it on, zipped it up and then sat down on the bed to put on her boots.

Sylvester sat up, putting his arm around her and pulling her back towards him as he ran his hand up the white PVC that clung to her shapely legs.

"I love your boots." He whispered, "They turn me on..."

And Penelope giggled, then she kissed him and he lay back and enjoyed more of her kisses as she moved from his mouth to his throat, from his throat to his chest, then as her soft kisses moved lower still he closed his eyes and gave a sigh of pleasure as those kisses grew more intimate, taking him all the way back to that state of helpless bliss that he had quickly learned to welcome; he knew for sure she loved him now, he knew he loved her too...

He still wasn't sure how the situation with Clyde would turn out, but when she had him like this and all he could do was lay back and get lost in the moment, nothing else seemed to really matter as much as her kiss, her touch and how wonderful it felt to be loved, not only loved but loved with the kind of passion he had never had a chance to know in his life before this day...nothing seemed to matter any more, just Penelope - she was all that mattered to him now...

It was raining again when she walked out of the side exit from the bar.

Snoozy was inside, watching from behind the curtain as she went up the path taking dainty steps in her high heeled boots.

Sylvester handed her back the pink umbrella, as she took it from him she was getting into her car.

He leaned inside and they shared a deep, lasting kiss before he reluctantly pulled away.

He said something to her and she smiled and said something back to him that looked like I love you too.

Then he stepped back and the car drove away and Sylvester headed back down the path, quickening his pace as the rain fell harder.

Snoozy shifted away from the window and walked across the bar room, hearing the door close again as Sylvester went back inside.

He hurried from the bar and caught up with him.

"Sylvester?"

On hearing Snoozy call his name, he turned back.

"What is it, Snoozy? I've got paperwork to do and I'm going out to get some shopping later, I still need to get some new clothes. Can't this wait?"

Snoozy recalled how angry Sylvester had been when he had walked in the bedroom and seen him with Penelope.

Suddenly that conversation about Clyde seemed as if it ought to be discussed another time...

"I'm sorry about walking in on you like that." He said, feeling an apology was due more than anything else right now, "I didn't mean to do that, you said you and her were just friends and I thought that was true."

A brief glimmer of annoyance had been present in Sylvester's eyes when he first looked at him, but now it was gone.

"Okay." He said, "Apology accepted, Snoozy. It's my fault too – I very much wanted me and Penelope to be more than friends and then it happened - and I had no way of warning you the situation had changed."

Snoozy frowned.

"Penelope..." He said, "Yeah...nice girl...but..."

"But what?" Sylvester demanded,"Why are you talking to me like I shouldn't be seeing her? I saw the look in your eyes when you walked in the bedroom - don't you like the girl, have you got some reason why you think we shouldn't get together?"

Snoozy's eyes widened in surprise.

"I don't even know her!" He exclaimed, "I never said I didn't like her, it's just that..."

He stopped again, recalling the knife Clyde had held to his face so long ago.

"I...I don't know, Sylvester. You've just got out of prison, she's pretty and she wanted you and you wanted her - I get that, of course I do! I just hope she doesn't break your heart."

Sylvester smiled on hearing that remark.

"Penelope would never do that to me." He assured him, "We've known each other a long time, we go back a long way, too. It's hard to explain the kind of history we've shared – but we care about each other. This isn't some five minute fling for either of us. There are feelings involved."

"Feelings?" Snoozy's eyes grew wide again as he realized this was far more serious than he first thought:

They were in love?

Clyde would kill him for sure...

Sylvester looked at him feeling utterly confused.

"What's this about, Snoozy? Did Sparks tell you to keep an eye on me, is that why you're so nervous about me getting close to Penelope? Is he worried that I might have problems getting used to being on the outside again, is that it? Because if it is I'll call him right now and tell him he doesn't have to worry!"

He took his cell phone from his pocket.

"No!" Snoozy said in alarm, thinking this could only land him in trouble with the boss, "Sparks didn't say anything at all! It's just me, I'm worried about you."

Sylvester put his phone away.

He started to smile again as he recalled how worried Snoozy had been when he found out about his epilepsy.

"Oh Snoozy, I'm fine!" He assured him "Don't worry about me!"

And he put his hand on his shoulder as he looked at him kindly.

"I'm touched that you'd be so concerned about me. But you don't have to worry, I'm okay. And now I have to go – I've got to get some paperwork finished. I'll see you later on."

And Sylvester turned away, walked down the hall and then went up the stairway.

Snoozy stood alone in the hallway long after Sylvester had gone upstairs, feeling sick with worry as he wondered what he could do about this situation...it seemed every option he had led to possible risk and danger – yet he couldn't stay silent forever, because Sylvester was in danger and he didn't even know it...

Penelope was at home, on her bed, on her back with her boots off as she talked on the phone to her best friend.

"That's right – Sylvester Sneekly. And no, I haven't gone crazy! Remember what you said about how would I feel if he walked up to me in the restaurant? Well all that bad stuff is behind both of us now. We made up, we made friends and then we kissed and before I knew it I was in his arms!"

And she gave a sigh.

"It feels so right. That's all that matters to both of us."

On the other end of the phone, Melanie sighed too, but hers was a sigh of despair.

"Oh Penelope, you've only got to know the guy all over again for five minutes! And he's been in jail, he's been all alone for a very long time! How do you know this isn't something that won't fizzle out after a few weeks? Then where will you be? I'll tell you where you'll be - left with a broken heart and no Clyde, either!"

Penelope explained some more.

"I'm ending it with Clyde. I have to because after what I shared with Sylvester I knew for sure Clyde wasn't the right one for me – and I'd stand by that decision even if me and Sylvester broke up tomorrow. I just know when it's right – and it's not right with Clyde. I just don't love him enough, that's why I'm ending it with him."

There was a pause.

Then Melanie spoke up and spoke her mind again, but this time her tone had changed.

"I'm glad you're ending it with Clyde. I never liked him and I never thought he was right for you – I know you're always saying what a nice guy he is, but I just don't see it. I don't see any kind of great love in his eyes when he looks at you, I never have."

Penelope felt surprised at this remark.

"How come you never said all this to me before?" She wondered.

"Because you never would have listened to me, Penelope! I know what you're like when you're in love, you only want to see the good in a person – you just don't look for the negative. I think it's just the way you are, you like to see the best in other people and that's not a bad thing – but you just don't look deep enough sometimes. I just hope Sylvester's as great as you've described him. It sounds as if he's changed a lot from the guy you remember all those years ago."

Penelope smiled as she thought of her lover.

"Oh he's changed so much I barely recognized him the first time he turned up on my doorstep! And what matters the most is we've put the past behind us. He's the one for me Melanie, I just know it!"

"I hope you're right. But what are you going to about Clyde? How are you going to tell him?"

She thought about it.

"I'm going to tell him I've decided I want some space, that I want us to have a break for a while." She replied, "I'll tell him next time he comes over. Maybe we could get together on Saturday, we could have a barbecue. You could come along, and I'll invite Sylvester too – Clyde knows he's a friend so there's no harm in letting him meet him. Then I'll have a quiet talk with Clyde and let him down gently. By the time he's used to not seeing me, after a few weeks, I'll tell him I want to be on my own for a while, that I think were better off just being friends- then it won't hurt his feelings so badly when he finds out me and Sylvester are together."

"If I were you," Melanie said, "I'd tell Clyde we were through and cut ties with the guy completely. He's just not the kind of man to walk away easily. I'd just make a clean break."

"But I'm not you." Penelope told her, "And like you said, I like to be nice. Clyde hasn't done anything to hurt me, so I want to do this in the nicest way that I possibly can."

Melanie gave another sigh.

"Well I guess you've made up your mind." She said, "I just hope this works out the way you're planning it. I've often seen a look in his eyes when things don't go his way and I don't like it – he's got a mean temper under the surface, I can just tell. I know that kind of guy. Be careful how you do this, honey."

Penelope heard her warning but paid little notice to it:

She had known Clyde a long time and she was sure if he was the kind of man to turn nasty she would have found that out by now...

"You worry too much, Melanie." She reassured her, "It's all going to be just fine! I'll see you Saturday – and stop worrying about me, I know what I'm doing..."

Sylvester tidied up the paperwork and closed the file and pushed it aside.

The paperwork had been sorted out, put in order of priority and the most urgent stuff had been dealt with. There was nothing difficult about his job at all; the kind of paperwork that would take Snoozy all day took him a mere hour to complete - and the desk was tidy now, too.

He got up and opened a window, letting warm air filter into the room. Then he checked his watch and decided he had more than enough time to go into town and get his shopping done at last.

Then the door opened and Sparks walked in.

"How are you finding the new job?" He asked him.

"It's very easy." Sylvester told him, "At least, it's easy for me. But then I was running half of Pitstop Shipping by the time I was twenty four so I've always had a good head for business."

"Where's Snoozy?" Sparks wondered.

Sylvester smiled.

"He's watching TV...or he was watching TV... by now he's probably -"

"Taking a nap." Sparks guessed, "Lazy bastard..."

"No, I told him to take a break." Sylvester added, "He worked hard this morning, he's been cleaning the bar."

"He's been working? Oh well, I'll let him sleep then. "Sparks replied.

And then he thought about what Sylvester had said last time they'd met, about how much he wanted to meet up with Penelope again.

"Did you find that girl you wanted to speak to?" He wondered.

"Yes I did."

Warmth crept into Sylvester's voice and it reflected in his eyes too - and seeing him so happy made Sparks smile.

"You two are getting along okay? You put the past behind you?"

Sylvester smiled too.

"We did more than that." He told him, "I'm seeing her now. We got together."

Sparks laughed and gave him a hug.

"I'm happy for you!" He told him, letting go of him and giving him a pat on the back, "That's nice, I like it when things work out so well. It's about time you had something good happen in your life, Sylvester."

Then his cell phone rang and Sylvester picked it up from the desk

He smiled as he saw the number on the caller display.

"That's her right now," He said excitedly, "She's calling me!"

He answered the call at once.

"Hi Sylvester." Penelope said sweetly, "I'm just letting you know I'm having a barbecue on Saturday. Melanie- she's my best friend - she's coming along, and Clyde's coming too. But I want you to be there because he knows we're friends and we shouldn't hide that part from him. I'm going to let him down gently just like I said. I think it's the best way to handle this.

"Fine." He replied, "I'll go along with whatever you think is best. I'm just happy that we can be together."

Then his voice dropped as they spoke some more and Sparks smiled as he noticed Sylvester turn away to listen to what she was saying, then he whispered that he loved her too.

As he ended the call he turned back to Sparks, who noticed Sylvester was blushing now.

"I'm so happy your life is working out so well." He told him, "When I think back to the guy I recall in jail who was ready to give up on life I feel so glad that you've come so far."

"I guess I have but I don't really notice it." Sylvester replied, "I just get on with each day."

"And you do that very well too." Sparks promised him.

Then he glanced at the file on the desk.

"I'll take all the urgent stuff now if it's finished."

"Of course."

Sylvester took out the finished paperwork and handed it to him.

"I'll get going now." Sparks said, "Do you need a ride any where?"

"I still need to get that shopping done, you could take me into town – if it's not too much trouble."

"Nothing is ever too much trouble for you, son." Sparks said in reply, and Sylvester wanted to hug him again but held it back; Sparks had never called him son before but he had known for years he had thought of him that way, ever since that day he had come to see him in the hospital and he had mentioned his own late son, who he reminded him of so much...

Then a toilet flushed and moments later Snoozy wandered out through the open apartment door, he came into the office and yawned, standing there wearing nothing but a t-shirt, boxer shorts and socks.

He paused to scratch at his underwear before he spoke.

"Did you get the paperwork -"

He blinked, instantly wide awake as he realized Sparks was also in the office.

"Oh, Hi Mr Sparks. I wasn't being lazy, I was just –"

"Taking a break, I know. Sylvester told me, I heard how hard you've been working." Sparks said warmly.

Then Sparks walked out the door and headed for the stairs.

As Sylvester made a move to follow him, Snoozy caught his eye and smiled.

"Thanks for putting in a good word with Sparks for me."

Sylvester returned his smile.

"No problem, Snoozy." He said, then he left the office and went down the stairs to catch up with Sparks, feeling sure that his boss was right – life was going his way for once and it seemed as if nothing could go wrong now...