Getting through customs was simple, and Erik was glad that Charles was considered an EU citizen so they could breeze through the relatively smaller line there. He was overjoyed to see Homophobe Toad languishing bitterly at the back of the line of foreigners, and took the opportunity to tell the customs official that he suspected she was trafficking drugs.
"What's that about?" Charles questioned, watching the official talk in rushed, clipped sentences to his walkie-talkie.
"It's nothing. German's just a serious-sounding language," Erik shrugged, trying to chock up his beaming smile to the joy of being in Germany again and not the pure enjoyment of wreaking havok without Charles being able to stop him. He was going to have to make full use of this blessing before they went to Paris and Charles' French skills would thwart similar tricks.
"I feel kind of bad about getting that lady kicked out to coach," Charles admitted, rubbing his eyes.
"Don't. Her replacement was way better."
"He was pretty nice," Charles admitted with a tired grin.
"Anyone who travels with enough lemon drops to share with all of first class is fucking awesome in my book," Erik said, taking their passports back from the customs attendant and marching them to their bags.
At the baggage carousel Charles took a seat on the ledge and glanced listlessly as the bags started making their way onto the platform.
"Did you end up getting any sleep?" Erik questioned, stroking Charles' hair. The smaller man rested his brow on Erik's hip and shook his head. "Well, you can sleep on the train."
"Are we taking a cab to your mother's house or did you want to rent a car?"
"My mother's lived here for ten years with no car; I think we'll survive a couple weeks without one."
"I'm not arguing," Charles pointed out.
Erik chuckled and eased the younger man's heavy head off him as he saw their bag approaching.
"You don't think we should have packed more?" Charles questioned, eyeing their one big bag and their two smaller ones.
"I've got another suitcase at my mom's we can use for all your inevitably kitschy souvenirs," he grinned, pulling their bag off the carousel and taking his German phone from his satchel to tell his mother they had arrived.
"Har har," Charles intoned. "Should we go catch the train?"
"Sure," Erik said, more focused on the phone, which kept ringing and finally went to an automated voicemail. He frowned at the piece-it wasn't like his mother not to answer her phone, especially when she was expecting him to call.
He tried again as they left the security area, handing their meager custom's forms to the attendant, only able to frown when Charles wrested the larger bag from him.
"Hey-Erik," Charles gasped suddenly, and Erik jerked to look at him, and then where he was staring in shock. He had one moment to wonder if it was that awful toad woman coming after him for revenge before he was jarred out of all thought by, "Kleiner!" and seeing his mother waving at them from the entry area.
He and Charles exchanged a surprised glance and Charles said, a little shakily, "I thought we were meeting her in Heidelberg! I thought I had more time!"
Erik couldn't think of anything to say to that, only led his boyfriend at a clipped pace to his mother and accosted her in German.
"Mama! What are you doing here? I told you we'd meet you at home! You didn't have to come all the way out here all by yourself! Something could have happened to you!"
His mother ignored his tirade completely, hugging him tightly around the middle and then turning immediately to Charles and keening, saying "Ach, kleiner! He is even more handsome in person! Oh, kleiner Spatzi!" and taking the man's face in her hands to kiss him on each cheek. Erik imagined this was one of the few times Charles had to lean down to be kissed by someone: his mother was a very small woman, and somehow seemed even smaller this year.
"Guten Tag, Frau Lensherr," Charles beamed excitedly in his nervousness, recovered from all fatigue and blushing up to his ears at her hands-on greeting.
Edie gasped and reached out to grip Erik's arm, looking at him with joy. "And he speaks German! Oh, kleiner!"
"Ach, nein, Mama," Erik groaned, trying to explain. "Charles just knows a few things."
Edie gazed up at Charles in rapturous delight and pet his arm admiringly.
"Frau Lensherr-nein," she instructed him, and put her thin hand over her chest. "Mama."
Charles eyed her nervously, glancing at Erik as if to make sure it was okay. With Edie's hand goading him forward he smiled sheepishly.
"Ah, well, ahem, ja-Mama."
Erik smiled, blushing a bit himself.
"Okay, okay," he muttered, motioning them forward. "Let's catch the train. Komm, laß uns gehen, Mama."
Edie tried to wrestle Erik for his bag, and when that failed she attacked Charles, who was no good at fending off old women and was thus divested of his smaller bag, although he managed to keep a tenuous hold on the larger one.
"Your mum's strong," he muttered to Erik, massaging his arm where Edie had wrenched it going after his bag.
"You just need to man up and shove her back," Erik suggested. Charles squinted at him. God, the man actually thought he was joking...
They had just barely missed the train while buying tickets, and stood off to themselves on the platform so that Edie and Erik could exchange energetic German, each demanding extensive news on each other's health. ("What did you eat on the plane? That's no good-I'll make matzoh when I get you home. You're too thin." "What do you mean you stood on the subway? No one got up for you? You should have made someone get up! Here, sit on the suitcase.") Erik held Charles in the curve of his arm out of habit and tried to ignore his mother's starry-eyed glancings.
When the smaller man leaned against him heavily, resting his head on Erik's shoulder, he realized the man was flagging.
"Is he tired?" his mother questioned, looking on in concern.
"He didn't sleep on the plane."
"He seemed so energetic in the airport." she frowned.
"He was excited to meet you," Erik explained.
"Are you talking about me?" Charles murmured, forcing himself to stand on his own and blinking the tiredness out of his eyes owlishly. He seemed to come to the conclusion that this sort of stupor was not what he wanted Edie's first impression of him in person to be made of and stared at her in embarrassed shock. "Oh my- Ich...um...ent...schuldig..." he gave up with a high blush and turned to Erik, tugging on his arm pleadingly. "I'm very very exceedingly sorry."
"Ich entschuldige mich," Erik supplied with a chuckle, proud that Charles repeated it after him instead of letting it stand as if Erik were his own voice box.
Edie keened at his adorable accent and jumped up to clutch him to her side.
"He is the most adorable Spatzi. I can't wait to get him home and coddle him."
"What about me?"
"I've got enough coddling in me for the both you," she argued, flicking her hand at him.
"What is she saying?" Charles asked, glancing between Edie pressed up on his left and Erik on his right.
"She says you're in for the coddling of a lifetime when she gets you to Heidelberg. You're not allergic to coddling are you?"
"I'm not sure, I've never been coddled before," Charles admitted in a sort of daze.
"What are you talking about? I coddle you all the time!"
"No, you dote on me. Only mothers coddle."
Erik mulled that over, shifting the three of them apart as the airport express finally pulled up. Erik knew the analytical facts of Charles' relationship with his mother, and the more emotional bits of it from Raven, but he wasn't sure how much of that was exaggeration. Charles had told him that his mother was rather distant with him after his father died, and Raven had said that she was a neglectful alcoholic nymphomaniac. Erik supposed the truth struck somewhere in the middle, but wasn't sure how much in the middle.
They stored their luggage and settled in for the train ride, Erik acting as grudging intermediary as Edie pumped Charles for information.
"Ask him what he likes to eat."
"Mama, I've been dating him for over a year. I know what he likes to eat."
"We shouldn't leave him out of the conversation, though, kleiner," she insisted, staring at Charles avidly and asking him herself, "Spatzi, what do you like to eat? Hm?" miming eating to him to help.
"Ich haben Hunger?" Charles questioned. Edie smiled allowingly but shook her head.
"What do you like to eat? She's bursting at the seams to cook for you," Erik explained.
"Oh, whatever, I'm not picky." Charles waved the question off.
"That's not going to cut it, Spatzi. You're going to have to come up with something concrete."
"What does that mean, Spatzi? She was saying it, too."
Erik laughed. "It means little sparrow. She must not think we're grown enough. I'm kleiner and you're Spatzi."
Charles blushed and beamed, a beautiful combination. "She has a pet name for me?"
"It's not quite 'brightness' or 'dove', but I guess it'll do," Erik allowed, and then recognized that this was the perfect opportunity to ask. "Didn't your parents have a pet name for you?" He realized for the first time that Raven's only pet name for the man was a sarcastic 'brother dear' alternated with a caustic 'Know-It-All'.
"My nanny used to call me 'princeling'. I think maybe my father called me 'kitten'." When Erik eyed him curiously he continued. "It was in one of his journals. I don't think we ever had an actual kitten and it was before Raven, so I assumed he was talking about me..."
"What are you talking about?" Edie interrupted. "Did you ask him about the food?"
"Ach, Ich hätte es fast vergessen. Hurry up, she's still pumping me for food information. Just name literally any kosher meal just to fend her off."
"Okay, what about...um...Brathering."
Erik scoffed. "That is not what you want to eat. You looked that up in your travel book."
Charles pouted. "That doesn't mean that's not what I want to eat."
"Brathering? Is that what he said?" Edie jumped in.
"He was joking. He said macaroni and cheese." It wasn't really a lie, after all: mac and cheese was Charles' go-to food, seldom as he chose to admit it.
Edie beamed, obviously thinking off all the mac and cheese she would be making her new love. Erik smiled likewise, seeing his mother so happy. It was even more apparent outside of Skype: seeing her this happy in person was somehow more impressive than through the computer screen. He moved seats to squeeze in next to her and wrap his arm around, holding her close. She held him back and leaned up to kiss his cheek and pet the hairs at the nape of his neck.
"Oh, mein Kleiner," she hummed, cuddling into him.
Charles smiled at them thoughtfully and then yanked out his camera and took their picture.
"Cheater, no pictures," Erik growled half-heartedly.
"Now you two!" Edie cheered. "I need more pictures of the two of you." And she slipped out from under Erik's arm and switched spots with Charles, taking his camera.
She sighed and beamed into the camera screen, glancing up at them as if she were about to cry she was so happy.
"You two are so handsome together," she sniffled, taking the picture and wiping her eyes.
"Schoen-doesn't that mean pretty?"
"Hmmm more like handsome. She says we're a handsome couple."
Charles' pulled back to stare at him happily, a faint blush brushing his cheeks before he grinned and kissed Erik's cheek. Edie snapped another picture like a proper paparazzi.
"Ach, Mama-gib mir die Kamera."
"You need some good mothering-you're getting cranky," she fussed.
"You should be nice to your mother," Charles suggested, and probably would have managed to come up with a few other choice recommendations (he could never stop at just one), but they arrived at Haubtbahnhof and had to get off.
"You two stay here and play charades," Erik suggested on the platform. "I'll go buy our tickets."
Charles nodded, didn't look nervous at all. The man was such an extrovert, even a language barrier couldn't hold him back from interacting with people, especially when those people were Erik's mother.
"Take your time," he grinned back. "I'm going to try and mime 'baby pictures'."
Erik made sure to hurry.
"That was quick, mein Windhund," Charles teased. "But you're too late, I'm afraid."
"You didn't," Erik scoffed. He really had made record time. He had physically shoved in front of a tourist couple to get the goddamn tickets, hadn't even bothered getting Senior fare for his mother.
"It was surprisingly easy-your mother catches on quick."
"Mama, what have you done?"
Edie shrugged non-committally. "It's just a couple. Just what I had on me."
"It was nice to see that your smile is still cute with no teeth. I've got something to look forward to when we're eighty," Charles teased. It didn't manage to abash Erik since it implied they'd still be together when they were eighty and Erik loved that implication.