"'Gonna be a teeny weeny bit late back to class, chat amongst yourselves and don't kill anyone'," Andre read from the whiteboard aloud. "Well it's nice to know Sikowitz trusts us."

"He was acting even weirder than usual earlier," Tori told him as she and everyone else except Jade and Sam joined him in the classroom.

"Tori are you doing hair and makeup and stuff differently for your scene?" Cat asked, winding her hair around her finger.

"Uh oh," Andre rolled his eyes, "girly chat. I suggest a man meeting. Beck, Freddie, get over here!"

The boys grinned as they joined him, but Robbie looked disgruntled. "Hey! Aren't you forgetting someone?"

"Oh, sorry. Rex, get over here!"

Rex laughed and Robbie screwed his face up. "Aw c'mon Rob. You can join us. You might learn something."

Robbie traipsed over to the group and Andre patted him on the back as they sat down, reassuring him that he was only fooling around.

Sam strolled into the classroom and as soon as Carly noticed her she grabbed her by the arm. "Where have you been?" she hissed.

Sam simply smiled like a Cheshire cat, causing Carly to frown.

"You've got that look on your face!" the brunette said sharply, not letting go of Sam's arm.

"What look?" she replied innocently.

Realizing that both Tori and Cat were watching them with fascination, Carly gave them a weak smile and said, "Excuse us a moment," before leading Sam into the corner and answering her question - "That 'I've just done something bad' look."

"I have a 'look' for that now?" she said, wistfully.

Carly released her arm, but remained angry. "What part of 'stay-out-of-trouble' did you not get?" she snapped, smacking Sam's arm with her script with every syllable she spoke.

"Hey, calm down Carls!" the blonde backed up out of range.

Tori and Cat observed them from a distance as the Seattle students continued to bicker, and Tori couldn't help but be amused at Carly wielding a rolled up script and Sam holding her hands up in surrender.

Cat giggled. "Do you think they're rehearsing something for iCarly?"

"Maybe," Tori shrugged, as Carly rejoined them looking flustered.

"Sorry about that," she said, inwardly wazzed off that she hadn't gotten her friend to admit to anything.

"Not a problem," Tori said brightly. "We were just..." she trailed off when she saw Jade appear in the doorway.

Robbie's jaw dropped, as did Rex's.

The entire room fell silent as Jade slowly entered. Every step she took was accompanied by a squelch and what sounded like a low growl. She was absolutely covered, from her head to her combat boots, with thick, golden honey. It oozed down her arms as she walked.

For Jade though, being drenched in a bucket-load of honey as soon as she'd opened her locker was not the worst part. The worst part was the bucket of snow-white feathers that had fallen a few seconds later, instantly gluing themselves all over her.

"Ew Jade, you're all sticky," Cat pointed out rather obviously before flinching under her friend's angry gaze.

"...W,w,w...what happened?" Tori gulped, kind of wishing she hadn't been the one to ask. She'd seen Jade furious before, but this was a whole new level.

"...What happened?" Jade repeated slowly in a poisonous whisper. Tori took a few steps back and hid behind Cat. "What do you think happened?"

"Is it a costume for your play?" Cat guessed, puzzled.

"No Cat, it is most definitely NOT," Jade replied through gritted teeth.

"Shouldn't you go...do something?" Andre whispered, nudging Beck.

Beck shook his head. "I value my life."

He knew his girlfriend could handle herself, and he thought it best to stay out of her way while she did.

"Somebody did this to me," Jade spat, before looking straight at Carly.

Carly instantly became nervous, and was grateful when Tori took it upon herself to stand between her and Jade. "Hey, it can't have been Carly. She was with me and Cat all lunch time," she said forcefully.

"That's true," Cat added. "We were trying to get all the mashed potato and soup out of her hair."

"What is this stuff?" Sikowitz tried to scrape the honey from his shoes before doing a double take. "Whoa, Jade! Points for originality!" he applauded as he came into the room.

"This is not for the stupid scene!" the girl explained angrily.

"Wait..." Tori said suspiciously. "Is this like that time you made it look like a hit you in the eye when I didn't just so I'd get in trouble?"

Jade stared at her for a moment, then raised her hand and flicked a globule of honey in Tori's face.

Tori grimaced as she wiped it off. "So...that's a 'no', then."

"Jade you should probably go and get cleaned up," Sikowitz suggested, taking a sip of his coconut. "You look like a disgruntled chicken."

"Fine," the girl growled, before turning to the rest of the room, "but know this - as soon as I find out which of you did this to me, you're gonna wish you were dead!"

And with that, she stormed out of sight, squelching along the way.

Sikowitz chuckled. "Oh, Jade. Such a calm and reasonable young lady."

"Should I go and help her?" Cat asked, rocking back and forth on her toes.

"Yes Cat, off you go," the teacher sighed. "I guess we'll postpone the scenes until you're back."

"Kay Kay," Cat skittered off.

"What are we gonna do until they come back?" Robbie asked.

"I dunno," Sikowitz shrugged. "I guess you kids should just carry on talking and getting to know each other. And perhaps try not to dump honey on anyone's head..." he flashed a brief glance at Sam.

"Raccoon!" Sam pretended to sneeze.

"Bless you," he said, getting her point and settling down to grade some papers.

Tori turned back to Carly with a look of consternation. "I don't know who pulled the prank, but I wouldn't like to be them right now."

For a second Carly hesitated, wondering whether to say anything. But she figured she trusted Tori, and was really beginning to appreciate being able to speak honestly to another girl, and one similar to herself.

"I know who did it," she sighed, holding her head in her hands in defeat.

"What? But who would-" Tori frowned as Sam rejoined them, and she finally clicked onto who was to blame.

"What goes on?" the blonde asked casually.

"Sam," Tori said slowly, "did you do that to Jade?"

The blonde leaned against the wall with a smile, and pretended to search the ceiling for an answer. "If you're asking me whether I think she deserved it, then I will say yes. As to whether I strategically positioned some honey and the feathers from ten pillows so that they would collide with her...I can neither confirm nor deny," she sniffed.

Tori looked at her quizzically, trying to make sense of her reply.

"There's honey all over your shoes!" Carly groaned, her voice muffled in her hands still.

Sam looked down and inspected her sneakers, and when she looked back up both Carly and Tori had their hands on their hips, and their eyebrows raised expectantly.

It bugged her that Carly had the power. Sam couldn't stand causing her friend to be disappointed with her, and felt like a child being scolded by her mother. Well, not Sam's actual mother. A normal mother.

And now here was this Tori chick, just as impossibly perfect as Carly, just as able to effortlessly climb to the moral high ground and make the blonde experience pangs of guilt.

The problem was, that she wasn't at all sorry for the trouble she'd caused. Just that she'd got caught.

She rolled her eyes and exhaled sharply. "Alright fine. But I saw what she did to Carly and I didn't want her to think she could just get away with it."

"So you couldn't have just talked to Jade about it?" Tori berated her.

Sam folded her arms and avoided their gaze. "I'm more of an actions-speak-louder-than-words kind of girl."

"Oh dear..." Tori stated simply, watching Carly close her eyes and slowly shake her head, hearing a phrase she'd heard many times before.

/

"Well I always knew she was a honey," Rex cackled, earning withering looks from the boys. "Aw, come on. I'm just trying to make the best of a sticky situation."

"I have never, ever seen Jade that mad before," Andre shivered.

"Me neither," Robbie agreed.

"You're still trembling," Rex added.

Freddie sighed deeply, feeling awkward, and Beck picked up on it. Beck was a quiet guy, but an observant one. As soon as Jade had walked in, he'd mulled it over in his brain.

He decided that Sam, who was the only one not around for half of lunchtime, and who was best friends with his girlfriend's latest victim, was the likeliest aggressor.

"So," he said calmly to Freddie, "Sam is a feisty one."

Freddie slumped down in his chair, defeated. "That's one word for it. I'd also have accepted 'obnoxious', 'abrasive', 'demon', 'harbinger of chaos'..."

"I get the idea," Beck laughed.

"Hold up...Sam pranked Jade? So the whole dangerous babe bit isn't just an act on iCarly, then?" Andre tried to understand. Robbie gave him a look like he was a bit slow, so he added defensively "What? I thought she was playing a character. Like that Gibby kid."

"Nope," Freddie said, disappointment in his voice. "And Gibby really is that bizarre."

"Oh man..." Andre tried to process the new information.

Freddie wrung his hands with embarrassment, and reluctantly looked at Beck. "I'm really sorry she acted like that. I mean, if I knew she was going to go to such an extreme with Jade..."

Beck shook his head, forever chilled, and leaned forward in his chair to reassure the new kid. "Hey, it's not like Jade's the completely innocent party. It's always just been kind of expected that she holds the power around here. She was bound to get challenged sooner or later."

He leaned back in his chair and looked thoughtful for a while. "Maybe if she feels like she doesn't have to be the leader all the time, she might mellow out a bit."

"Yeah," Rex snorted, "I can see that happening right after world peace is declared by a flying pig."

Andre and Robbie shared a glance that said they agreed with the puppet.

/

Jade, who had never been even remotely interested in sport, had nevertheless been forced to use one of the gym showers. Just another major irritant she was adding to her brand new list.

She had many lists of things she hated. It soothed her to write them down in elaborate fonts on crisp, white paper. She couldn't wait to start a new one. It would be entitled - 'Sam Puckett'.

Yes, though a maelstrom of rage had previously clouded her judgment, Jade had clicked onto exactly where she should be directing her anger. Of course it hadn't been Carly - she would never have the guts, especially on her first day and so soon after her little trip.

Jade had underestimated Sam, but it was not a mistake she would make twice. In a way, it was exhilarating. Her new little project - make Sam miserable.

She smiled to herself, even as she shampooed her hair for the seventh time and still found streaks of honey.

"Jade?" Cat called out warily. She had been sat on a bench in the locker room for half an hour, having retrieved a suitably dark outfit for her friend from the costume department.

"Hmm?" she replied happily.

"What are you humming in there? Is that 'Beggin' On Your Knees'? I love that song!"

"So do I," Jade smiled. That blonde demon was going to pay big time.

A/N: Hope you liked this one! Thanks to all you new people who have signed up and favourited/followed this story, I hope you continue to enjoy reading it. Reviews may help you save my ever-fading sanity, so I'd appreciate it - or a PM if your shy. You can also stalk my twitter - fatcaketacos - where I often talk to myself. Catch ya later!