beautiful

chapter 16: just love

The next morning it seemed like we already had a routine set, even though this was only Nina's second treatment. We left at exactly eight in the morning, a little less nervous now that we knew what to expect. Amber and Nina were singing along to a pop song that came on the radio, and I couldn't resist tapping my foot to the beat. After they belted out the last note together, they broke out in a fit of giggles.

"Remember when we first heard that song, and you thought it was dreadful?" Amber reminisced, and Nina was quick to reply.

"I didn't say it was dreadful," Nina defended, "I just didn't like it at first. But it's grown on me."

I was glad to see that Nina's mood had improved considerably since her diagnosis. We all had a good feeling that she would pull through, especially with her heightened morale.

As the week drew to a close, the doctors delivered some disheartening news. Nina would have to stay in the hospital until further notice; they had done more tests, and the results weren't the best, but they weren't terrible either. They just needed to do some monitoring.

It was the middle of July now, and I had taken to staying at the hospital some nights to keep Nina company. We would talk late into the night and fall asleep between hushed conversations.

One particular night, Nina and I were in a deep conversation about her illness. I had wanted to take her mind off of it, but she insisted.

"Fabian, I—" she began to say something, but stopped herself. I gently took her hand.

"What is it?" I asked her softly.

"Well, I…" she hesitated again, "I've been thinking about…"

Nina trailed off and the room was left in silence, the beeping of the heart monitor echoing loudly. She sat up in her bed, lost in thought. I sat patiently beside her.

"I've been thinking," Nina began again after what seemed like hours of waiting, "About what would happen…if I didn't make it."

It felt like the bottom of my stomach dropped with the weight of an anchor, and that I was choking on the very air I was breathing.

"Nina, no," I managed to whisper, "Please, please don't say things like that."

"Well, it could happen," Nina replied, even though she saw the hurt in my eyes, "I know it hurts to think about, and I'm scared, too, but…"

"But what, Nina?" I tried to keep my voice steady, but it was failing me, "Why are you thinking this way?"

"Oh, I don't know," she suddenly retorted with tears building in her eyes, "Maybe the fact that I have a life-threatening disease? And the doctors can only do so much and if it gets to a point where nothing more can be done and I'm still not getting any better, then we'll have to face the subject, Fabian, and—"

I cut her off with a fierce kiss, and the tears began streaming down her face.

"I'm sorry," I apologized with a breathy voice when we broke apart, "I didn't want to upset you. I just hate hearing you talk like that."

I reached up with a soft touch to wipe her tears away. She gripped my hand as it fell from her face, and smiled at me.

"I didn't mean to freak out at you," Nina shook her head at her own behavior, then continued, "I just…I was trying to get to the point and went off on that ridiculous tangent."

"What point were you trying to make, exactly?" I asked with a smirk, even though I was genuinely confused.

"Well…" Nina was hesitating again, and it concerned me slightly.

"Fabian, I…" she sighed, "I need you to do something for me."

"Anything, love," I replied eagerly.

"Well, you see, I think we should, y'know," Nina said nervously, "Take things to…the next level."

"What?" I asked with a small smile, even though I was genuinely baffled.

"Don't laugh, I'm trying to be serious," Nina retorted, "I want to…do it."

I think I finally realized what she was saying.

"Oh," I whispered in revelation, "Ohh…"

"Um, never mind," she said quickly, "I am so embarrassed. Forget I ever said that."

It was later into the night, and the room was lit by the moon and a small lamp at Nina's side. We had sat in an awkward silence for a few minutes, but quickly fell back into conversation about other things.

"Nina," I said suddenly, and her eyes met mine, signaling me that she was giving me her full attention.

"About what you said, earlier…"

Her face flushed to a deep red.

"Oh, gosh, please don't mention that," she laughed, "I'm so stupid."

"I don't think it's stupid," I replied, taking her hand in mine, "But maybe you should've practiced a little?"

We both laughed a little before I began to speak again.

"Do you really…want to?" I asked her. She giggled once more, blushing.

"Well…yeah," she answered, "I really love you, Fabian."

"I love you, too," I spoke truthfully, and our eyes met once more. This time, the gaze reached deeper. Our lips met softly at first, and with the slight hesitation purely from not knowing where this would lead us, we continued.

The next morning, I woke up with Nina in my arms. The sun shone softly over us, and I looked for something that would tell me what time it is. Amber had said that she was coming to the hospital around ten o'clock. When I found my cell-phone, it told me that the time was only nine o'clock. Nevertheless, I stretched and gently woke up Nina.

"Hey," I whispered, "Amber's coming in an hour."

"Oh, okay," she replied, yawning and smiling at me. She reached up and tousled my hair, and I smiled back.

A/N: Yeah, sorry about no update last week. I start school tomorrow and it's kind of a miracle that I finished this today. I know it got a little awkward there in the middle, but not everything can be as passionate as we see in the movies. I think the awkwardness makes it more realistic. Hope you enjoyed this chapter, I'll hopefully see you next Wednesday.