I tried not to show how tired I was. It was a hard fight. The lull of the tires against pavement hushing me to sleep. Why I didn't want to show how truly exhausted I was, I am not quite sure. Maybe it had something to do with my pride. I may be pregnant, but I sure as hell was the same. A baby, born or not, couldn't take away me, could it ?
The ride back wasn't long at all. Thanks to Edward's insistent ability to drive fast. Before or knew it, or was even prepared for it, we sat in front of Charlie's house. Edward's steady hand brushed my cheek as I sat frozen, scared. Which bugged me. I was just going to see my father. Who I just saw 2 or 3 days ago ? I was very insistent on making it a bigger deal than it was, then.
A sweet you can do this from Edward's lips as he slipped out of the car and to my side. He opened my door and despite my efforts to persuade him other wise, helped me out, which sounds less difficult than it truly is. All dressed up waiting on my father's doorstep, I realize how weird it is to be knocking on this door. There once was I time I could just walk in, plop my bags down, and sit on the couch with Charlie. The memory hurt. It seemed nothing would ever stop reminding me of the life I once had.
I took a deep breath as Charlie slowly cracked open the door. "Oh hey, Bells." he paused, "What are you doing here?"
Ouch. That hurt. He wouldn't even let me in. His whole face wasn't even showing. Be strong Bella.
"We just stopped to talk." his face softened a bit, "Can we come in?" I didn't sound as strong as I had hopped.
He seemed to think for a minute. His eyes not connecting with mine or even looking my way.
"Could you hang on a sec? I kind of have a surprise for you." he said, almost guilty.
I nodded and he shut the door. My mind touched so many areas so quickly I began to feel a bit dizzy.
Edward put a hand on the small of my back and leaned close to my ear to gently whisper.
"I do believe your father may have a woman over?" I could hear the smile in his voice.
"What?" I turned to him, not bothering to whisper. "What makes you think that?"
He seemed puzzled by my reaction at first. "Just a guess."
Charlie swung the door open, actually smiling now.
"Okay, Bells, I want you to come in the kitchen. Someone's here"
He wasn't just smiling, he was ecstatic. I tried looking past him, in which he backed up inviting us in with a gesture. By the stairs that I had climbed a million times, sat 3 suitcases. For a moment my heart fluttered. How many possibilities could there be. I walked very slowly, Charlie already disappeared in front of me. Edward had a firm grip around my waist. A fact I was thankful for as I slowly rounded the corner.
There, standing next to my dad, the last person I ever expected, was my mother. Tan and in shorts. Which explained the temperature. I was sweating already. Her smile, one I haven't seen in years, was warm but unusually cold. I felt nothing for it. Then, painfully obvious, I saw my fathers arm snug around her waist. I was halfway to going crazy when Edward's hand gently squeezed my hip.
"Hello, Bella" she said, her eyes trailing to my stomach. Which seemed to make her light up with pride.
I just starred at her, astonished. Could this really be happening?
Charlie cleared his throat, "Bella, your mom has decided to move back with us."
"Why?" I blurted.
They both seemed uneasy now.
"Your mother and Phil are no longer together.-" Rene cut him off.
"Let's just say, that in the end, I knew where I had to go." she said.
I think they may have expected me to be happy? Actually, I was the opposite than that. My dad believed her? He would be so blind as to let her back into his life? She left him, alone, to care for me. Went off and did her own thing. And he just accepts her. Just like that ?
"Interesting." was all I could say.
"You look great, Bells, the baby look suites you" she was smiling, proud again.
There was a long moment of silence. The air was almost think with and my chest felt heavy. Resting the opposite hand not in Edward's on my belly I quietly cleared my throat.
"Well...you to look fancy. Did you two have something planned?" Charlie asked. He has never been good with small talk. Something he should never have to make with his daughter.
Edward spoke now. "Yes, we had a very nice dinner in Port Angelas."
Rene looked at Edward now, appearing as if she had came out of a trance. Her face lit up.
"Isn't that nice, hon." she said to Charlie, who tried to seem like it was nice but fail miserably. "Sit down guys. We all have so much to talk about."
She sent an affectionate smile Charlie's way which made me think I was missing something. Figuring out that something wasn't exactly on my to do list at the moment. It was clear that they were together. If that was it, I didn't want to be here.
"Actually," I croaked, "We just stopped by for a second. We should get going." I untangled my hand from Edward's to move it to his arm.
"Wait just a minute, your mother is here and you don't have time to talk with her? If Edward-"
Rene interrupted Charlie, " Hold on Charlie, it's alright." she slowly walked to me. She tucked a lock of brown hair behind me ear. "We were just talking and we have something for you to ponder."
I tried not to bat her hand away. "We want you and the baby to move back in. We'd love having you back."
We? She wasn't even here when I was. Furious couldn't even explain my feeling at that moment.
For some God forsaken reason, she continued. "Charlie and I could take care of the baby while you go to collage and after a while work. Anything to help."
There was that proud smile again. Inside, I exploded, said horrible mean things that should never been thought let alone spoken. Charlie fell for this crap? That was quickly answered when he returned to her side with a smile. It was me against my blood. The Cullen's were my family now.
Through gritted teeth I spoke, "No. Thank. You."
There faces fell. Charlie seemed pissed.
"Excuse me?" he said
I pushed out of Edward's grip. "Edward has been accepted to The University of Alaska. I'm moving with him."
"The hell you are!" Charlie screamed. "I'm your father and I am telling you your not going."
"I'm 18 and moved out. I can do what I please. And what I please is finding out what's right for this baby. If it wants to get anywhere in life or do anything for that matter, it needs to get out of this goddamn town!"
No one spoke, everyone just stood there unhappy. I was breathing heavy, and all that action had me dizzy. I began to wobble. Edward was at my side in the same second. Carefully he brought me over to Charlie's dinning table. By the time I sat the world was twisting around me and all I heard were the shuffling of feet.
I put my head in my hands, willing myself not to pass out. I tired to focus on noise rather than the crazy spinning in my head. A cabinet opens and closes, the faucet turns on and there is the faint sound of a glass being filled.
"Bella, listen to my voice. Your alright." Edward voice was right next to my ear.
Everything began to slow. I was soothed. His hands came to my shoulders and lightly made circular motions.
"Here's some water" Rene said.
Not looking at her, I took it and brought it quickly to my lips.
Edward knelt in front of me, his hands on each one of me knees. I felt his eyes watching me closely. After quickly chugging down the contents of me glass, he carefully took it from my hands, and put it into Rene's. I brushed my curly hair away from my hair and glanced around the room. Rene was right behind Edward and Charlie was lent against the sink, looking worried but smug. Bringing my eyes back to Edward I whispered.
"We should leave."
He nodded and stood, looking behind him at my parents.
"Bella needs to rest." he directed this toward Charlie then turned to Rene. "It was nice seeing you again."
He helped me up as I avoided making eye contact with Rene and Charlie. My goal was the door, which was more difficult to achieve considering I had wobbly legs.
"Oh, Bella." Rene's voice was sweet.
Reluctantly, I turned to her.
"Will you keep us posted about the baby? I'd love to help with a baby shower or something."
"Um...yeah. Maybe you can talk to Rene about that." I said, smiling halfheartedly.
Her smile was more genuine and ,as I turned with Edward, I had to ignore the at home feeling it gave me. I wanted to stay mad at her, but the thought of having her back home, like it used to be when I was little, made me feel whole. I would never know why though, I didn't live at home now. Her being there made no difference to me now.
All my internal conflict had me blind. We've been home for about an hour, it's late. Only Emmett and Rose are up with us, watching a movie that a really haven't been watching. I also hadn't notice Edward left the room. He has been unusually distant tonight. I looked around searching for any sign of him. He wasn't anywhere I could see. I glanced next to me on the couch. Rose had Emmett's head in her lap, twirling his hair between her fingers. She looked at me with a smile.
"You alright?" she asks.
"I think so, just a lot to take in in one night. Where did Edward go?" I asked, looking behind me up the stairs again.
She looked at me funny. "He went up stairs ten minutes ago..."
I was a little scared myself. I seriously hadn't noticed he left. The leg underneath me tingled as I made a move to get up from the couch. Things like this, that used to be quite simple, were almost impossible now. Noticing me struggle, Emmett jumped up.
"Got it." he said as he pulled me off the couch. I smiled, rising on my tip toes to kiss him on the cheek.
"Your the sweetest." I said, as I wattled away.
And again, as I went up the stairs, I wished for an elevator. So many sets of stairs in one house. Too many for a pregnant woman. I was almost wheezing by the time I got to the top. Down the hall, I could see Edward's door open with the dim light of his lamp. He stood, looking out the window, with his hands behind his back. I entered slowly, trying not to disturb him. He didn't turn to look at me. Actually , he didn't acknowledge me at all.
Gingerly, I wrapped my arms around his waist, pressing my face into his strong back. He smelt fresh. I felt him sigh underneath my grip. My baby made holding onto him difficult. The moment made me smile. This is when I felt at my best, when I am the most content. My little family was with me.
"Did you mean it, Bella?" he asked twisting around to look me in the eye.
I looked at him, confused. "Mean what?"
"That you wear moving with me, to Alaska."
I had forgot I said anything but it seemed right at the moment.
"I mean, I don't want you moving with me just to prove a point to Charlie. I want you to be happy."
I smiled at him, shaking my head. " It wasn't trying to prove a point. I mean it. The change could be good." I was still trying to convince myself, but it could be what we need. I pressed my face into his chest now.
He stroked my hair, silently. In this moment I felt stronger than ever. Stronger than I felt since...Jacob.
"Edward?" I whispered into his chest.
"Hmm?" he hummed, sweetly.
I took a deep breath. "Will you come with me to Rebecca's baby shower?"
Softly he grabbed my arms to pull me away from him. He looked into my eye, searching. "Are you sure?"
I half smiled, "If I want to get over...Jacob I have to be able to face his family. They may want to be apart of the baby's life. I can't keep that from them."
He was still searching my face when he reached for me cheek. His fingers traced the skin from my ear to my chin.
"Of course I'll go with you." he said pulling my chin closer to him.
He paused with his lips inches from mine to observe me. His eyes connected with mine for a moment and then they were closed and he pressed his soft lips to mine. My stomach fluttered. Would I ever get used to his touch?