I walked into the house, dropping my keys on the table, and headed straight upstairs. Everyone seemed to have retired to their rooms. I walked down the hall as quiet as possible. Oddly enough, our door was shut, something that never happened, so I kind of gave up on the sneaking in part. I opened the door a crack and was surprised to see Edward sleeping. I knew he was pretending as I crept in because the coarse of his breath changed. I paused before the bed with a huff, hands on my hips. His eyes flickered open.
"Tired?" I ask sarcastically.
He doesn't say anything, just stares up at me. "Fine." I say, bringing the dress up over my head. It fell to the ground and his eyes widened. I smiled, returning my hands to their original position.
"S-should I go sleep on the...couch?" he asks and my smile fades quickly. I let my arms fall and glare at him. He sits up and sighs.
"Bella, I don't know what you expect me to do? You know what happened last time. You're not ready.' he says to me and I get angry. Like seriously frustrated.
"Who said you get to decide when I am ready? I am in charge of myself and I am getting tired of all of you thinking you know what's best for me." I am screaming now. "I am not a child, I can think and do for myself damn it!"
"Bella-" he starts
"No! Just stop. I can handle myself, okay? All of you guys look at me like I am a ticking time bomb. Everyone does. Even if I am you don't have to treat me like one. I'd like to at least pretend to be normal." I say.
He just stares at me as I stand there out of breath. This to irritates me. "Say something!" I scream.
He to gets angry and jumps quickly out of bed. "What do you want me to say? That I am sorry? Because I'm not. It isn't like we do this all on purpose Bella. Everyone here loves you so much and seeing you in pain causes us pain. We don't want to say something wrong and send you back into depression. As much as you hate to admit it you are horrible at hiding emotions. You're strong Bella, but not that strong!" he was yelling back.
I glare at him for a moment before going to the bed, grabbing a blanket and pillow and going to the dresser. I pull out a tank top and sleeping shorts. I didn't even glance his way as I walked out of the room. As I walked down the hall I heard Emmett crack the door. I turn to look at him and he clasps a hand over his eyes.
"Oh shit, Bella, I'm sorry." he clears his throat, his hand still over his eyes, and whispers, "Everything okay?"
"Everything's fine." I grumble back.
"You sure?" he asks.
"I said everything is fine!" I snap back at him.
"Okay...sorry." he said shutting the door behind him.
Downstairs, I dress and grab a small blanket from the basket on the side of the couch. I make a bed and attempt to lay down. I manage after some difficulty. Closing my eyes, I try to get comfortable. I can't though. All I can do is think of the fight, and how the night went so wrong. Soon, I'm feeling guilty. Everything Edward said was true. How could I have expected anything different? I tried to put myself in there position and I couldn't come up with any other way to do it. I debated on going back up there to crawl into bed with him but decided against it. He probably needed time.
We were rarely apart these days...and I expected him to make love to me after what happened? Why? I wouldn't want to go through that again. I was selfish for even considering to chance that again. Crazy pregnant lady hormones. I missed all of the things I already couldn't do now. Four more months of this? I didn't even want to think about how big I was going to be. Soon I wouldn't even have the option of sex. Again, I found myself aroused and I hated it. I even seriously considered masturbation. I had never been much for it but even that sounded better than nothing now.
Just as I decided I would do it this one time, I heard foot steps on the stairs. I froze, expecting it to be anyone but Edward. I was wrong though. He walked around the edge of the couch to look at me. I sit up and give him a soft smile. He smiles too and comes to sit on the coffee table. He helps me sit up completely.
"I'm sorry." I say, putting my hands on both of his knees.
"No, I'm sorry, you're right. We should try and help you feel normal." he says, brushing my braid back over my shoulder. We don't say anything for a bit but he continues.
"You're right about everything. You can think for yourself. I know that, but I just don't want you to think you have to be alone in this. And if you think you're ready to have-" I put a finger to his lips and he stops talking. I smile big at him and pull his face to mine.
"I want you." I say to him and then he is kissing me, all over. He pushes himself off the table and me to the back of the couch, his arms on either side of my head on the head rest. Then one of them reaches behind me to the small of my back and he pulls me to him. I wrap a leg around his bare waist, happy I shaved. He brings his mouth to my earlobe and draws it in. I let out a small moan, remembering we are in the empty living room. I bring my hands to his back and,as he sucks harder on my ear, dig my nails into his skin. His mouth lets go of my skin and he moans into my ear.
Then we're standing, me wrapped around his waist. I don't know how, but he takes us to our room without his lips leaving mine. He lays me on the bed gently then pulls my tank top over my head. This time he doesn't hesitate to unhook my bra, it's off before my pants. He kisses each breast softly before moving on to my shorts. He pulls both them and my panties off in one swift moment. I am completely exposed and loving the way his eyes roam over my skin. Goose bumps automatically arise.
He lowers himself onto me again, careful of my stomach, and begins to bite my neck softly. I reach for the already hard bulge in his pants and am suddenly frantic to get his pants off. Helping him do so, I moan at the sight of him. And then that's it. We make love. I am a strawberry dipped in chocolate. Not once, twice, but three times over. Our skin sticks together with sweat as we both wish it will never stop.
It was everything I hoped it would be. Better even. With Jacob it was more then sex, but not like this. This was the true definition of "making love". I knew from now on, sex with anyone else would never be the same. I'd never known anything like it and I didn't want to know anything more. If I haven't already known, tonight proved that I was irrevocably in love with him. And when we were finished we fell asleep in each others arms. I slept dreamless and soundly for the first time in ages.
The morning after wasn't so great though. I was sore and had to jump out of bed to puke. I was still naked and didn't have time to get dressed and make it down the hall. A ran down the hallway, completely ignore Emmett who is just about to leave his room. I barely hear his apology before I'm in the bathroom. Edward comes while I'm still puking, offering me his shirt. When I'm finish, I take the shirt from him. I examine it before putting it on. It was a simple picture of a dying tree. I didn't like it but I pulled it over my head and when it just barely makes it over my stomach, I'm crying.
Edward comforts me until I decide that I am just starving. He makes me a big breakfast and it's gone in two seconds. This only makes me cry more, thinking about how I only used to be able to eat half of this. Amazing as he is, Edward continues trying to comfort me, which for no good reason pisses me off. So I storm away and get in the shower. This is where I stand now, letting the warm water fall down my spine as I think. I cry some more and begin to think about another 4 months like this. The thought scares me.
As if it would wash away my thoughts, I stick my face into the water stream. Something causes me to panic and I pull away, rubbing the water out of my eyes. I look around quickly, searching, like someone might actually be there. I try to focus out of the glass doors of the shower and I make out a figure. The figure knocks on the glass. Slowly, I slide the door open a bit. Edward is standing there smiling, all of his cloths off besides his boxers. I can't help but smile back at him. I open the door more and step back.
"Get those off," I nod towards the boxers, "and come join me."
He smiles crookedly at me then starts pulling off his boxers. While doing this he says, "Is there enough hot water left for me?" , then winks. I nod and then pull him in as soon as he is stripped. He trembles as he makes love to me. So much that I get worried.
I grab his wet face and make him look at me. A give him a quick kiss first than ask, "Are you alright?" I say it breathlessly. He smiles, repositions us, and then looks back at me, water flowing over his shoulders.
"I have to remember how to...control myself when I'm with you like this." He says.
He thrusts lightly still, moving his lips back to my neck.
"Please don't control yourself." I moan. He stops completely and looks up at me. He searches my eyes for a moment and then smiles a smile I have never seen from him. It's seductive and really sexy. Then his lips are back on mine.
He helps me dry off and I help him. We kiss some more and then get dressed. I'm just pulling on my shorts when Edward wraps his arm around my waist from behind. I lean against him, reaching back to run my fingers through his hair.
"I love you." he said, kissing my ear.
"I love you more." I say.
We stand there for a bit, saying nothing, until Edward starts humming into my ear. I close my eyes and sway softly along with his body. There is small knock at the door then. I open my eyes reluctantly.
"We're just headed out to get all the table and chair rentals done for the wedding, would you like to come Bella?" Alice asks through the door.
I turn to look at Edward, who nods that I should go. I wrap my arms around his waist while I shake my head no. He begins to silently argue with me but I cut him off.
"Not today Alice," I smile, "I didn't get much sleep last night."
Edward is glaring at me as Alice replies. "Oh..okay. We'll see you in a bit then."
"You should have went with her, Bella. She could use your help. The wedding is in a week." Edward says.
"I just want to spend the day with you." I say and he smiles, pulling me into a hug. This time I begin humming his previous tune. I start to think about this particular tune. How I remembered it so well, I'll never know. Edward had wrote and played it for me before he left. I look up at him and bring an arm up to stroke the circles under his eye.
"Will you play for me?" I ask.
He smiles with a small blush. "I haven't played in a very long time."
"Please?" I say, kissing his chin.
"Alright." he rolls his eyes with a smile.
He grabs my hand and leads me into the hall. We walk past Emmett's empty room.
"Where is Emmett?" I ask.
"He said something about a hike with Rose." He says to me and we stop at the top of the stairs. He quickly turns around and grabs my face. He kisses me lightly and pulls away, a satisfied smile on his lips as I breathe unevenly. I roll my eyes at him and he lets out a small chuckle, again grabbing my hand and leading me down the stairs.
When we reach the piano, he pulls the stool out for me. Even though it hasn't been used in quite sometime, not one speck of dust could be found on the mahogany surface. I run my finger on the key cover as Edward sits down beside me. Grabbing my hand, he kisses it and puts it in his laps. He flips the cover up and inhales deeply. He exhales as he runs his fingers over the keys. He closes his eyes and smiles as he touches everyone. Again, another big inhale and exhale. When he opens his eyes they are trained on my face. He keeps one hand on the keys and then the other come to my face. He strokes the keys and my jawline at the same time. Then the hand that is on my face falls to my stomach which he begins to play on. His fingers on my stomach match he motion he is making on the piano.
He again plays the song he wrote for me many of years ago but it soon had a little twist to it. Not to much to change the songs feeling but just enough to symbolize change. The way I saw it actually was that the little high pitched but soft note our babies. That they were added into the song. I don't know if that was his plan but I loved it. And so did our babies. He played on my stomach for a long time before the song slowly faded away. I hadn't realized that I was crying until Edward wiped away my tears. I put my head on his shoulder. With a sigh, he kissed the top of my head. Whoa, deja vu, I thought.