Chapter 3: Who else is on your list?

"For the last time, minna, I did NOT sleep with that idiotic swordsman! In fact, he is definitely the last guy I would sleep with in this crew."

Nami announced to her crewmates in a determined voice.

Her audience's reactions were varied. Sanji was beaming. Ussop rolled his eyes skeptically. Chopper stared at her with round watery eyes and asked childishly: "Why, Nami? I slept on Zoro's stomach once and it was very comfortable."

"That's not the kind of sleep we're talking about, little fellow. Matter of fact, it's-"Franky's explanation was cut off in perfect timing by a cough, kindly offered by Nico Robin, who continued: "that comes out a little…unexpected, Navigator san. I always assume that Swordsman san ranks no.1 or 2, at worst no.3 on your list."

"There's a LIST?" Franky wondered in excitement, "How super is that!"

Next to him, the ship's cook also showed his interest by raising his curly brow and looking at his two beloved lady crewmates attentively.

"Well, we all have a list- the list, don't we, Navigator san?" Robin smiled.

"What? I never have one of those-okay, maybe later I'll write out a list regarding 'who is dead to me', and I'm sure Zoro will be ranking high on that one!" Nami pouted.

"Speaking of the list, does anybody happen to see my tiny piece of paper which read ' Nico Robin'?"Franky said teasingly as he lifted his sunglasses up to his forehead.

"Highly flattered; but meanwhile, slightly violated I must say, Franky san."Robin chuckled softly as she sipped coffee from her mug in a graceful manner.

There's some serious flirting going on between these two. Nami narrowed her eyes incredulously. Unfortunately, a certain "knight of love" misinterpreted her expression of suspicion.

"No need to look so disappointed, my dearest Nami swan~~! "the knight assured her in an over-enthusiastic tone. "When I make my list, I'll make sure there's only ONE name on it! "

"Is that name 'womankind'?"

A sarcastic voice offered. Sanji turned around to see his annoying green-haired nakama standing at the threshold.

"What's your problem, lazy asshole?" the cook barked in irritation. "Why d'ya always have to ruin my precious moment with Nami san? Now go eat over the sink!" He tossed a dish of questionable cake towards the swordsman and the latter caught it with ease.

Nami averted her eyes as Zoro entered the kitchen and sat beside her at the dining table. After what happened last night, she assumed it was only fair that she wouldn't be talking to him or making eye contact with him for at least a week.

Sanji yelled something like "how could you possibly lose your way to the SINK you unbelievably retarded marimo!", but Zoro just ignored him and began eating his belated breakfast, which of course, made the cook angrier and even threaten to poison his next meal.

Stupid stupid Zoro. God, he's just soooo getting on my nerves today. Nami mumbled under her breath as she tilted her head slightly to admire Sanji's silverware collection on the table-well, they were something to look at. They were shiny, well polished and neatly arranged, which was probably good for her anger management…or not. Geez, just the way that baka wandered in with that thick green head of his, the way he took a seat right next to her without even the courtesy to ask first, and the way he poked randomly at that piece of cake with his stupid pair of chopsticks- who on earth ate cake with chopsticks?

EVERYTHING. Nami concluded inwardly with resentment-everything about Zoro just made her flustered with anger. And he didn't even begin to think about apologizing! You think he could at least do that after he called you that name last night!

Deciding this was more than enough irritation for her morning, Nami rose from her seat and announced to her friends:" Well, since our dining area is pretty much contaminated by someone's baka bacteria, I might just as well go outside and get some fresh-"

"Who else is on your list?" suddenly that "someone" popped a question, which was so out of the blue that some of his crewmates' jaws hit the ground even before Nami could react.

"…What?" she turned to look at him with slightly widened eyes.

"Your list." Zoro repeated. "You said I'm dead to you, I wanna know who else is on that list."

He returned her gaze with a more defiant look in his eyes, and he continued, "I'm thinking if there're enough people on it, maybe we can set up a club or something. Like 'we are dead to Princess Nami' club? Or 'we are lucky we're dead to Princess Nami' club? Never mind, I can work on the name later." He ended with a shrug.

"Yabe…" Ussop shrank himself down behind Franky's board back as he whispered. He could tell from numerous experiences that this was going to end UGLY.

"You watch your mouth when you talk to Nami san bastard!" Sanji shouted while Robin shook her head in a mildly disapproving manner. However, Luffy and Chopper were just staring at the scene with round innocent eyes trying to figure out since when there was a club and why everybody seemed to hate it.

For a brief moment Nami truly wished that Zoro could choke on that mouthful of cake he was still chewing. But then she reminded herself: don't fall for this one, Nami. He's just trying to make you angry and you're not gonna let him get what he wants.

She breathed in deeply, and then slowly breathed out. She repeated doing this for a few more times. Good, anger management actually worked. When she finally opened her mouth to speak, she even managed to smile a little:" like I said you are dead to me, why are we still talking?"

With that being said in a sweet tone, Nami turned around and left the room. The rest of the Strawhats could only watch as she marched her way out like a pageant queen.

"Wow, that was close…"Ussop collapsed in his chair in relief from the aftershock.

"What was that, marimo? Next time you don't know how to talk to a lady, you just zip it! "

Sanji's lecture was cut short when Zoro threw the now empty dish back at him:" Thanks, cook. That tasted awful."

With both hands in his pocket, the swordsman then walked out of the kitchen, leaving the cook gabbling on how someone could be easily poisoned if he kept irritating the ship's one and only chef.

"I don't get it. Why do Nami and Zoro suddenly hate each other so much?" Luffy wrinkled his nose and complained to his crew. "And to tell you the truth, I'm not too happy about it. It feels very unsettling! Why can't Nami just smack Zoro on the head and get it over with like she always does?"

"I'd say-"Ussop felt constrained to lower his voice before giving his conclusion-after all, Sanji was still in the room, and that guy sure knew how to kick. " They did it." he said in a hushed voice.

"Yep, totally!" Franky agreed. Unfortunately he didn't feel the need to keep his volume down. "Even if they haven't done it, they are pretty close I dare say. I mean come on, just now you can cut the sex tension with a knife, bro!"

"Yadaaaa-!" Chopper shrieked when the sound of word "s-e-x" got into his ears and he fell off his chair in panic.

Robin sighed as she offered an extra pair of hands to lift the reindeer up before his head hit the floor:" Franky san-"she turned to the large cyborg. "You might want to be more careful with your wording next time. You know, it's not very…um, super to say something like that with the presence of minors."

"Are you calling me a pervert, Nico Robin?" Franky laughed heartily."How sweet of you to always know the nicest things to say!"

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"Urgh!"

Nami stormed into her charting room and violently slammed the door behind her.

Now that she was in her private territory, she could be however angry she wanted to. She threw herself into the chair, took a pen and a piece of paper, and began doodling in a huff.

It took her no more than 30 seconds to finish drawing a rough of human face on paper- in fact it was more like a circle with some disordered lines and dots here and there, poorly representing facial features, and it didn't even look remotely Zoro-like. But Nami didn't care. She just wrote "ZORO" in bold, capital letters on that face's forehead and then began stabbing it repeatedly with pen nib.

"I…hate…HIM!" She mumbled indignantly as she smashed that sketched face which she wished could be Zoro's. "Why's he always so annoying? ALWAYS trying to pick on me? That idiotic, swelled head jackass-"

Suddenly, a knock on the door interrupted her abreaction.

"Who is it?" Nami asked, her voice still cranky.

"It's me."

Darn. She dropped her pen on the table. It was Zoro.

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Author's Note: I'm sorry, another chapter and they were still fighting. I guess I just miss their cute bantering too much since obvioulsy I'm currently deprived of that in both manga and TV.

Speaking of list, I guess some of you might have already known that Zoro ranked No.2 on last year's Origon list regarding "Who is the anime charactor you wanna marry most?" (With Sanji ranking No. 6 and Luffy as No. 8) So needless to say, my Zoro is officially the most eligible guy in One Piece,haha~~(I know, not mine~not mine~)

BTW, Nami was No.5 in girl's group and she was the only gal in OP who got to be voted enough to rank best 10 on that list.

*"Yabe" means "too bad".

*"Yada" means "don't" or "No".

So read & review, people!

Minami