Chapter 7~
Cryin'

Tommy, Leila, Eber, Joe, and Sauli sat in the living room the next day, Adam and Sauli on the couch, Leila and Eber on the love seat and Joe and Tommy stood, Joe leaned against one of the walls and Tommy stood off to the side were the T.V. was.

"Well the reason I brought all of you guys here was because kind of wanted to explain the whole misunderstanding, of yesterday… for your sake Joe."

"Go on…" Joe said.

"Well um I didn't cheat on you, I was with Sauli because I thought you were dead and I thought you weren't coming back. I know that what my feelings towards him now are, and at first he was just someone who was there for me and who cared after the incident, but then he became much more… I'm sorry… Joe, I think I love Sauli more, I don't know why I mean we have only been together 6 months but there's something that just sparks in our relationship that didn't spark in ours, I feel so guilty doing this, because truly I should love you because I married you, and it's not right just to turn on you like this, I mean I still love you and I do have feelings for you but-"

"You're rambling I get it, it happens every time… no need to explain yourself I'm totally used to it by now, it won't be the first marriage or relationship that's failed."

"What do you mean?"

"I was married to women once,Jenny, but yeah she found Chad when she went to rehab so I got pushed to the back and we fell apart… She divorced me the same way that you're divorcing me so hand over the papers and don't make it any harder than it is." Adam was stunned he had never known that about Joe. He was hurt though because of how nonchalant he was acting.

"I'm not saying that you're not good enough." Joe gave a chuckle to that comment.

"Sure you aren't nothing I haven't heard before let me just get whatever stuff you still have of mine and I'll go…" Joe signed his name at the bottom of the paper and stood up, not looking back at any of them.

He had his hands in his pockets as he walked up that familiar stair case, he saw boxes in the corner of the room, opening one he saw his CD's, Vinyl, and jackets, some of his clothes in the other, and some of his books , shoes and photos of them in the other. He scoffed and picked up two of the boxes, and began to walk out, but he ran into Adam who had come up stairs.

"What do you want?"

"Do you just not care?" Adam asked.

"Not care about what?"

"That I said I didn't love you as much as I loved Sauli?"

"Did I say I didn't?"

"You're acting like you don't care I mean you're being so cool about it."

"You don't think I feel like you ripped my heart out and stomped all over it when I loved you with all my heart, you don't think I feel like I was used, you don't think I feel like I wasn't good enough, you don't think that a whole YEAR meant nothing to me? What the hell is your problem? I guess I should be used to it. I've had many relationships and theyve all ended the same with me taking the blame for everything bag went wrong, and everyone turning on ME. Well guess what they ripped me in half to! They hurt me to! I wasn't the only one involved in the relationship!" Joe shouted in Adam's face. I wasn't the only one who wasn't good enough they made it seem like I was the one who was the heartbreaker, when truth be told, they were!" Joe said tears fell from his eyes as he walked away from Adam.

"And Adam, take this…" He threw him their wedding band.

"Joe I'm sorry…"

"Yeah that's what they all say, every single damn time this happens! Every single one! I'm not good enough for anyone and yet I let myself fall anyway! I should have learned not to trust anyone, maybe I would have been better off as a hostage at that army camp… it was less painful than this. I'll try my best to forget you…although I know I probably won't…"

"Tommy, can you help me?" Joe asked.

"Sure."

"Um I left one of the boxes up stairs and I really don't want to be here any longer than I have to be."

"Alright I'll get it."

"Joe…"

"Just leave it alone Adam, I thought you were different Adam! But I was wrong!"

"I'll be fine… have a good life… I'll move on like I said I've gotten used to it somewhat, I'll never find the one… I just hope you don't regret this, I mean Sauli seems nice, have a nice life." Joe said coldly as Tommy joined him.

-

"Joe what did you mean when you said you've gotten used to it?"

"Um, well I've gotten used to it it's happened before, I'm not good enough so they decide they love someone else and go and rub it in my face, I've gotten used to rejection though, I mean I was rejected by my own family can't get any worse than that."

"What do you mean?"

"My family turned me out and told me I wasn't worth it, and so has everyone else so I think I get it by now, I'm not worth it!"

"Joe you are worth it, please don't think otherwise."

"Whatever you say Tommy, I'm just not going to believe it."

"Joe…"

"Tommy…"

"Oh shut up I'm trying to be serious here."

"I knew going into this we wouldn't last very long, and hell I was right!"

"Joe please don't talk like that."

"Then how am I supposed to talk?"

"Well after all you did love him, and so you must have had some faith, so don't act like you didn't."

"Fine at one point maybe in the moment, I thought I actually meant something, but did I? No. So it doesn't matter!"

"I'm going to go back to my mom and dad's house, maybe next week, or in a few days, I can't be staying with you for too long without a job and without paying."

"Come on man I work for that guy, I make plenty now, I can manage to pay rent, you can stay longer than that."

"Honestly I just want to get away from it all and I'm hoping they will accept me again if they don't I don't know what I'll do…"

"Stay with me?"

"Maybe, but probably not… I mean I need to settle down whether it be in my own little house singly or with a husband, or wife, I mean honestly I don't want to search my whole life, truthfully I think I'd be better single for the rest of my life."

"Whatever but you can stay here as long as you need, if they turn you away again I'll be here."

"Thanks Tommy at least I can count on someone to still care about me."

"What did you mean about being a hostage earlier?"

"Oh yeah that's the reason behind me being M.I.A in the first place, we were taken hostage after a bombing, that's all I can say…"

"What happened?"

"Well they were from the other side, and well obviously they didn't treat us well… I lost at least 30 of my men there, including Eli,"

"Who's Eli?"

"He took a bullet for me, when we were escaping… he dies right in front of me. He and Clint were the two most loyal, and honorable men in that group, they were the first ones to accept my orientation, and they were the ones who would do anything that I commanded without a question most of the time. Eli… he was so young… he was 19 years old… and he had a wife, and a child, he was a great family man I could tell by the way he would talk about them… with so much love and passion. Everyone knew who Adam was there I would talk about him non-stop, and they would remind me of him when I wanted to give up, we were not only fighting for something but someone, I was fighting for Adam… but apparently he could have cared less."

"Joe… he thought you were dead…"

"Yeah but how could he move on so fast?"

"I guess we kind of pushed him too. I mean if you had died would you want him to sit around for a year moping about your loss?"

"No… but I would want him to at least be a little more upset." Joe realized how selfish that sounded, but still he at least expected him to take him back after this.

"I at least expected him to want me back after he found out I was alive…"

"I know… and I'm sorry."

"Why does love suck?"

"I'll tell you when I figure it out." Tommy said.

"Yeah you do that."

They pulled into the drive way and got out, taking the boxes inside as well. Joe had a long lonely road ahead of him. And he was wondering if it was all worth the pain.