How to Survive Fourth Year (And Angry Cousins)

I'm back...?

And we have been back at school for a long time.

TOO LONG.

I feel like a caged bird. A bird in a cage, where freedom is a handful of seeds hovering tantalisingly just beyond the bars.

What were we talking about again?

Well. I was talking. Writing. Thing.

How about I just start advising you on HOW TO SURVIVE FOURTH YEAR!

(This is when the crowd goes 'WOOT WOOT')

Yes, OK, we'll move on before it gets awkward for everyone.

"Dom-Dom-Dommy-Dom-Dom!" James shrieked, vaulting over the sofa and landing next to me. "Wassup my peep?"
"Jimmy, I love you, but you are not, and never will be street," I told him.
"You wound me," James said, clutching his heart and falling off the sofa.
"I thought fourth years were meant to be mature," I said, to no one in particular.
"As long as you two and Fred are in fourth, you do not have a hope of maturity." Rose said, primly, passing overhead.

Uh oh.

"Are you cross with me Ro?" I asked, stepping over James (YOU CAN'T PROVE I STOOD ON HIS HAND! NO ONE CAN!) and following her to the desk by the window.

Oh yes, there's a desk by the window.

Fred calls it Archie.

"Why would I be cross with you Dom?" Rose asked, slamming her books down onto the table.
"You just slammed your books down onto the table," I pointed out.
"Wow, you're a genius," Rose said.
"Harsh," Hugo commented, passing by.

What is it with the Weasley-Grangers and walking by just at the right moment to say something. I shall call it the...Rogo. Cos Rose and Hugo. Geddit? See what I did – Never mind.

"I'm sorry if I've offended you in any way, shape or form dearest Rosie, and if you can tell me how to make it right, I shall do all within my power to accomplish whatever mission you present me with!"
"Hand this in to Professor McGonagall," Rose said, passing me a roll of parchment. "And I shall think about it."
"It's the best you're gonna get," Hugo observed, walking back towards the fireplace.
"Thanks Hugo. Thanks," I said, sarcastically.

Oooh sarcasm. That's a new one.

"No it's not," Rose said, passing me to go up the stairs to the girls dorms.
"And the Rogo strikes again," I sighed. I got a weird look from a first year who doesn't know our family. Ah to be young, and not to know our family.

So I set off on my ADVENTURE! I walked purposefully towards the portrait hole, and was stopped by James and Fred.
"'Ello, 'ello, 'ello," Fred said, bouncing on his heels.
"What have we here?" James said. "Are you going to visit someone, Dominique?"
"Yes."
"And does this person's name begin with an M?"
"Yes..."
"What did we agree?"
"That in order for our relationship to continue," Fred said, and I rolled my eyes.
"Incest Fredward."
"It's just Fred!" Fred said, crossly. "And get your mind out of the gutter."
"My mind is not in the gutter! It's in... Well, I don't know where it is. It ran off with my marbles."

They exchanged weirded out looks, and I pushed past them. They fell into step next to me.
"Can we come with you?"
"I think you guys are actually secret twins."
"Well, he is my brother from another mother."
"My bro."
"My brah." James added.

We all fell about laughing. No, I mean we literally fell over. Then someone pulled me up, and I found myself looking into grey eyes. (This is where my mind goes: OH MY GOD HE'S GROWN! HE'S TALLER THAN ME! He was always taller than you, idiot. HOW DARE YOU CALL ME AN IDIOT? YOUR FACE IS AN IDIOT... Waaaaaiiiit.)

Yeah, my mind isn't helpful.

At all.

"Hi Scor," I said, casually.
"Hi Scor," Fred and James (Frames? Jad?) mimicked. I debated hexing them. But didn't. Cos I'm a nice cousin *hairtoss*
"Hey Dom."
"Hey Dom," Frames mimicked. Yeah, I decided on Frames. Obviously... The picture frames didn't randomly come to life and start being annoying. Although at this school... Anything goes...
"Where are you off to?"
"McGonagall's office," I said, waving a roll of parchment. "Delivering something for Rose. I'm off to see the wizard! The wonderful wizard of Oz –"
"He really is the wizard of whiz, if ever a whiz there was!"

Roxi bounded round the corner, and joined in.

Everyone else stared at us blankly.

"Come on?" I said.
"Wizard of Oz?" Roxi raised her eyebrows. "You have to have seen it?"
"Yeaaah, we watched it in Muggle Studies. Well, Dom watched it. I fell asleep," James said. Fred put an arm round his sister.
"Join us sister.
"Puh-lease. I'm weird enough already. I don't need you guys infecting me."

She waved goodbye at us, and skipped off.

"Infecting? I take offence."
"We prank at dawn."

Frames nodded at each other.

"You have an epic bromance," I told them.
"It's true. We do." Fred said, seriously. "Which is better than an epic romance isn't it Dom?"
"I'm not breaking up with the Egg – Scorpius!" I snapped. They sighed. Scorpius took my hand (my mind went 'FWEEEEEEEEE' and died. R.I.P mind. You served me well) and led me off to McGonagall's office.

See, if I didn't know one sane person I'd probably still be in the womb.

What?

Insane people procrastinate. It's a proven fact.

Have you met my cousins?

And there it is. I apologise for the wait. :/ I will trytrytry to get the next one up sooner, but in the meantime – review?