Chapter 8: A slip of the tongue

As it turned out, he was the one on hunger strike.

It was way past dinner hour when Zoro woke up in his usual napping spot. He had slept through another round of the cook's bragging about his "collaboration of love with dear sweet Nami Swan", which Zoro hadn't planned but was all the same glad that he had done so.

True he was hungry; his stomach was making all sorts of unhappy sounds to remind him of that fact. It was just that he didn't think he could deal with Sanji or his hideous food right now.

Just now in his prolonged nap, Zoro had had a very vivid dream about kicking that flirtatious cook in the ass and tossing his skinny form overboard. And if he'd run into that hearty-eyed moron now or hear another word of his stupid bragging, he might not be able to restrain himself from actualizing that dream.

Rubbing his growling stomach, the swordsman slowly rose to his feet and began walking back towards the male's cabin. Although he wanted badly to stop by the kitchen to grab some dinner leftover or a bottle of sake to pass for the night, his pride was telling him not to. After what happened today, he refused to set foot in a place that Sanji had referred to as "where his and Nami swan's love set sail"—not that he felt threatened by any of the craps that delusional cook had been saying nonstop since this afternoon, he just thought they were quite annoying and that was all.

Twenty minutes later, instead of passing out in his own bunk, Zoro found himself helplessly wander about the below deck like a lost lamb. He supposed when people were this hungry and dizzy it was normal for them to get lost in a ship that was as large and bizarrely laid-out as the Thousand Sunny was.

He saw the light was still on in Franky's Factory and decided to go in and say hello, and perhaps subtly ask the shipwright for some quick directional tips without the other guy laughing at his face.

With that thought in mind, the swordsman walked to the open door. However, it wasn't Franky's voice that greeted him first. It was Ussop's.

"Roses! You should definitely send her roses!" the long nosed boy was shouting excitedly at the top of his lung.

Roses? Zoro stopped at the door side in curiosity. Why were his two machinery-obsessed crewmates talking about flora in the middle of the night?

"Really?" Franky was arguing. "But aren't roses a little too…tacky?"

"No they're not! Girls love roses!" Ussop countered.

"Maybe your girl loves them, but mine is a little…uh, outgrown for that kind of cheesy gestures, don't you think?"

"I'm sorry, she's not your girl yet. And she won't be until you make some actual, romantic move. Let's face it, you certainly can't win her heart using one of your nipple lights!" Ussop said sarcastically.

Yeah…nobody liked a nipple light. Zoro didn't mean to eavesdrop, but he had to agree with Ussop on this one. Who was the girl they were talking about anyway? Robin?

"Look Franky, you want my advice or not? I'm speaking from experience—successful experience, okay? Or do I need to remind you AGAIN that I'm the only one onboard who has a real girlfriend?" Ussop stressed. His tone dripped with arrogance. "Just trust your love expert Ussop and go get your girl some flowers, will ya!"

Even though Zoro couldn't see the expression on Ussop's face from outside the door, he could imagine how cocky the long-nosed boy must look right now.

The swordsman shook his head slightly annoyed. Since when did Ussop become a love expert? He was so gonna miss the days when Ussop was just "Great Captain Ussop".

While inside the factory, Franky seemed sorta convinced by the very inspiring speech his love expert had just delivered.

"Even if I want to, how should I find any roses in the middle of the sea?" he asked.

"Hello? Robin has a flower bed!" Ussop reminded him.

"But—wouldn't it be like…stealing from her and then returning the stolen loot? Doesn't sound very romantic to me…" Franky mumbled doubtfully.

So Robin. Zoro always knew that there was something going on between the cyborg and the dark woman, he just never thought Franky would be so desperate that he was actually asking a teenager for love tips. Seriously, who would expect someone like Ussop to give feasible advice on going after women? Either Franky was insanely in love, or he was just insane.

"I can't believe I'm actually gonna do this." Inside the factory the cyborg was still talking, "Well I guess cook-bro's success really gets you thinking! Huh?"

The cook's success? On what? Zoro subconsciously tightened his grip on the hilt of his sword as bitterness and anger rose in him. The only thing that dart-brow ever succeeded was to make a complete fool of himself around women. Why was Franky talking like Nami was Sanji's girlfriend? They just made some food together and it didn't mean anything!

By this point, a part of Zoro really wanted to barge in and tell the cyborg to cut the crap, but his track was stopped when he heard Ussop making a somewhat similar statement—

" Sanji's success? What are you talking about? It's more like my success cuz I totally made that happen!"

"Really? It was you who fixed up cook-bro and Nami-sis?" Franky wondered, as if finally beginning to see the silver lining of Ussop's rose plan.

"That's right, my friend! Love Expert Ussop always knows best! Want your girl problem fixed? You know who to come to!"

The complacent long nosed boy was striking a very majestic Sogeking pose when he saw a flash of light flashing before his eyes. Next thing he knew, the point of Zoro's Black katana Shusui was inches away from his nose tip.

"Z-Zoro!" the poor boy's face blanched with fear." What are you doing here? W-why are you pointing your sword at me, buddy? I'm scared!"

"Franky, you mind if I have a little talk with Ussop? Alone?" the swordsman's voice was low and dangerous.

0-0-0-0-0

After Franky had left, Zoro sheathed his sword. Afer all, he didn't want Ussop to wet his pants before the poor kid spat out all the answers he needed.

"Sit." he demanded, eyeing a wooden stool closest to the door.

Ussop was trying his very best not to fall apart under Zoro's intimidating gaze, as well as inwardly cursing Franky for fleeing and leaving him alone with a very scary swordsman.

"You're not going to hurt me, right Zoro?" He asked in a trembling voice as he slowly sat himself down on the stool.

"That depends." The swordsman informed him matter-of-factly. "We're gonna talk and you're gonna tell me everything you know. As long as it goes well, nobody gets hurt. Got it?"

Ussop suppressed a whimper of fear and nodded his head fiercely.

"Now, I want you to repeat every word that shitty cook ever said to you about—"Zoro briefly looked away before he continued. "About Nami."He stressed the last word of his sentence in a rather uncomfortable manner.

"Eh?" Ussop blinked twice as if he couldn't understand the request. "…but Sanji never talked to me about Nami."

"You need some trigger to your memory?" Zoro asked placing a hand on the hilt of his sword.

"No I mean it Zoro! It wasn't Sanji! It was Nami who came to me for advice! "Ussop burst out in a panic."The other day she was suddenly very weird and talking about you and heartbreakers and anger management and stuff…so I figured she might have a thing for you. You know, with all the jokes and rumors we made about you two, maybe she's started to feel things. Girls are like that sometimes. But then I remembered how much you hated this stuff, so I took care of it. I told her if she ever wants a boyfriend—don't go to Zoro, Sanji is clearly the safer bet. "

Ussop paused for a second; momentarily forgetting he was supposed to be afraid of Zoro right now. "Well I guess it's a good thing that Love Expert Ussop knows how to handle the situation, right?" he looked up expectantly at his green-haired friend as he suggested. "Uh, you are welcome?"

"Let me get this straight, "the swordsman—who on the other hand, didn't look very grateful at the moment—said through clenched teeth."Just because you dated this one girl by mail you think you are so good at relationship stuffs that you have to jeopardize mine?"

" …WHAT? "Ussop's mouth fell open. "You have a relationship with—with Nami?"

Author's Note: Sorry if that was another abrupt halt. (That sounds familiar…) I think I might have fallen ill with an I-can't-write-over-2000-words-or-I-will-die disease.

Anyway, this chap is kinda rush. I'm sure there're lots of grammar errors. I'd appreciate it if you start by telling me where I did wrong.

R & R, people~~! See you next time~.

Minami