I ended up on Reece's lap, which bothered Nick to no end, as Clayton repeated what we'd been told. The kids were more or less distracted in the living room by toys, except for the twins. I held onto one and Nick held onto the other.

"They apparently work with the government. Top secret shit. Been the ones researching into supernatural." Clayton was speaking, explaining what he'd remembered. "There's going to be a lot of humans dying from the disease. One in three. But those humans in the place. They ain't human now. Some kind of latent shit is apparently making them different."

Jeremy frowned, shifting straighter, he clearly got the numbers straight off. So did Elena. Their eyes met briefly.

I suddenly wondered about what she'd said. She said that one in three died, that they were researching a cure, but we had a cure for our type. So why were the supernatural getting the cure? "I'm actually starting to wonder how hard they're looking for a cure."

Some part of me still couldn't believe that was 'my company'. It still didn't feel like it. I could see Elena making notes as she listened.

"Did you see how many humans they had?" Elena's eyes went from Clayton to myself.

"Hundreds." I muttered. "We didn't really count them. Sorry. We just wanted to get the hell out of there. I should have asked more questions."

"After being drugged up for days? No fucking way." Reece swore. "Can't believe it. Get them fired. All of them. Hire someone else."

"Did they say what they did? What these latent abilities were?"

Again, I grinned sheepishly, and Clayton shrugged. Okay. So neither of us had been really all that patient in there- neither of us had wanted to listen to her. How much could it hurt for that all to wait a few days? Technically, Elena should have been in the meeting anyway, if this chick wanted her assistance so much.

Okay, I knew I had to grow up, I really did. 'Boss' or something of that place. Some part of me didn't want to know. I lifted little-Reece up, as big Reece leaned closer to nuzzle the back of my neck, which made Nick mutter something under his breath. Yeah. None of us were really going to grow up that fast.

My eyes met Nick's eyes, for a moment, and I felt myself feel sick when I remembered what she'd said. Fuck her. If I could I'd fire her. Somehow it was going to be hard to touch Nick after what she'd said. What did they want with his... anyway? He seemed to able to tell something was wrong, I saw it in his face, this hesitation as our eyes met and then I had to look away.

"What's for lunch?" Clayton stood up.

That was a welcome change of subject. Lunch had more or less been started when we'd turned up. We'd been just lucky enough to make it half-way in. That made me wonder again, just how far away were those facilities? We couldn't have been in the helicopter all that long and yet... we were home.

I flopped down beside Nick, still unable to look at him, and tried to eat. I was starving still, after being shut away, and tried to not eat too much. Rations meant that there wasn't as much food this time. We had to eat slower and make it count. Maybe this was easy for a human but for a bunch of werewolves? It was like learning to walk all over again.

Nick suddenly growled. Stood up. He yanked me to my feet, ignoring the stares, ignoring everyone, one plate of food in hand and me in his other. I was dragged upstairs into the guest room.

He literally slammed the door, locked it, and dropped the food onto the bedside table. A hand grasped my head and tugged me hard against him, lips finding mine, hard, possessive, a thrill running through me. Guilt.

"You have any idea how worried I was?" Nick growled softly, shoving me back onto the bed, crawling over me. "What might be happening to you? By who? You might have been..."

He didn't continue. He shut his eyes, a deep shudder going through him, and somehow I got it.

He'd been afraid they'd done more than kill me. Rationally, he probably would have felt it wasn't that, rationally he'd have known. Nick didn't care about the lunch or the who, or the what, and maybe my look at him had triggered something. He looked so hurt. I felt hurt. I couldn't look at him, I was angry with him, angry with him being angry. Wanting sex right now. I rolled off the bed before he could try and take it further, heading downstairs, and slid back into the seat at the table.

It wasn't long before Nick returned as well, angry and avoiding my eyes for a few minutes while we ate, everyone ignoring us.

Nick gritted his teeth as I refused to meet his eyes, I caught it out of the corner of my eyes, his eating forced and slow. It wasn't the usual behaviour for any kind of werewolf- already, all the other adults had started to reach for seconds, and it was only the two of us that were barely touching our food.

I knew he was angry. I felt it, felt it as clearly as I felt my own frustration and hunger, and refused to look him in the eye. I could barely face my own kids somehow. It was impossible to describe, it was like the past few months had finally built up on me, and I wanted to shut them all out. Nick, the kids, the Pack, all of it.

It was tiring and now, with this 'you're the owner of some big company' crap, I was overwhelmed. Finally, I dropped my fork, dropped my food onto Reece's plate, and headed upstairs without speaking.

Nick was quick to follow. I heard him race after me, heard his heart racing, and he slammed the door behind us.

"Did you get raped again?"

The question angered me somehow and I spun around to glare at him. Oh god, I knew it was unfair, but I wanted to be angry. "Is that what you think?"

His eyes scanned over me, staring, smelling, searching. It was what he feared. "You've been strange since you got back."

Strange. I hit him hard, shutting my eyes, seeing him with that woman again and again. All the anger I'd refused to feel came out. It upset me so much, his behaviour earlier, it really hurt me. And now it was coming out. I was so tired. "You... you... you cheated!"

Whatever Nick was expecting, it wasn't that, and he seemed stunned, letting me rain blows on him without the merest attempt at blocking me. "I, what?"

"Cheated!"

"Liz, I swear, I didn't-"

"Not now. Before. Back then." And I was upset, and hurt, and I couldn't deny it. I'd forgiven him and suppressed it so much. I shut my eyes. Okay, he'd said it wasn't his choice, he'd said he didn't remember it, but … but he'd behaved so badly, when he'd not had his memory, he'd done so much stupid stuff. Kissing people. Groping. Dancing. It was more than that. "I saw her. I met her. I met the woman who-" I scowled. "The one in the ally with you. On her knees for you."

"Who what? Liz, I promise, I didn't cheat." Nick pleaded. "I promise. I'd cut it off before I'd do that again to you."

Again. The word hurt and he cringed as pain flooded my face.

Downstairs, music came on, loud music. They were probably trying to not overhear this with their freaky werewolf hearing. I didn't blame them. I breathed, hard, hands clenching and relaxing, heart thumping hard, anxiety rushing through me. I fucking needed a holiday. World be damned. Bad guys, be damned. Skinwalkers, be damned, I just needed a holiday. "I can't take this, Nick. I thought I could but I can't take it. It's too much."

"We'll go on one. I promise. You can have anything you want. Liz, I love you, I'm sorry." He tried to hold me and I tried to push him back. Hurt flooded Nick's face. He stared at me. "Did they hurt you?"

"No."

"Why are you like this then?"

"I'm just tired. It's too much. All of it's too much. Don't follow me." I pushed past him, sliding out the door, and headed outside into the snow without a glance into the happy Christmas lunch. Crying seemed beyond me so I stood there, staring into the forest, wishing I had my home. Wishing I had a place to go. Nick's big ass house wasn't home for me. It was pretty, sure, but it didn't feel like home.

Stonehaven felt claustrophobic. I couldn't look at it. I couldn't look at them. I knew they'd saved my life, I knew that my life revolved around this place, but suddenly I resented it. I missed Australia, I missed the simple life of studying, of cooking for pleasure, or eating two minute noodles if I couldn't be bothered, of staying out late, and not worrying about being shot at. The life before I was a werewolf. I missed my family, wattles, I missed the weather, I missed the warmth of Christmas with the hot summer sun.

I wanted to run away. I went upstairs, quietly, Nick was back in the dining room. Packed slowly.

"You leaving Nick and your kids again?" Clayton said dryly, leaning in the door, his face tense and hair wet. I smelt dampness on him, soap, knew he'd showered.

"I need to go home." I muttered.

"This is your home now."

"I didn't ask for this. I didn't ask to be bitten. I didn't ask to be taken away from Australia like this. It's ..." When I met Clayton's eyes, I saw no sympathy, just annoyance. "I didn't!"

"You're whining. Elena didn't ask either."

Yeah, and she ran away for ten years, but I didn't mention that. I shoved clothing into the bag.

"You taking Nick on this holiday?"

I didn't answer. I didn't want to take Nick. I didn't want to take anyone. I gritted my teeth as I heard Clayton growl in frustration and shut the door, locking it. "Don't you dare stop me."

"You want to turn your back on your family, I won't stop you. I'll even drive you to the airport. But don't you think about coming back."

In other words, this was it. It was the Pack or it was home. I had to choose. I shut my eyes.

"You leaving your kids or taking them?"

I didn't answer him. Shoved more clothing into the bag.

"I see."

He didn't. Desperation filled me. I wanted to be understood. "I want-"

"This isn't just about what you want, is it? You've got a husband, you've got children, you've got a nephew, and you've got to think about what will happen if you're caught."

I wished it was that black and white. To Clay, leaving this place would probably be unthinkable, leaving Nick would be just not done. I stared at my half packed bag and a plate was shoved at me. Clayton ordered, "Eat this," and crossed his arms. "I ain't a babysitter. You eat it or I make you eat it. Elena's orders. I ain't upsetting her while she's pregnant and I don't care how much I upset you right now."

The hunger wasn't there any more but I ate anyway, his eyes on me, clearly not enjoying his role of babysitter. Bread, meat, gravy, mostly vegetables and a bean and egg salad. Not a werewolf's meal, there was no where near enough meat, and Jeremy had clearly tried to compensate by adding as much beans and egg to this salad as possible. The problem was that there was too many beans and it tasted kind of bland and weird. Maybe he didn't know how easy it was to make a good salad dressing, just a bit of lemon and balsamic vinegar with olive oil. That was, if we could get oil, but maybe with the rations...

Somehow I calmed down as I ate and stared at the poor salad.

"If you're angry with Nick, be clear with him, tell him what you need." Clayton said when I was done. No brotherly advice. He almost sounded annoyed. "Don't let him come to me sulking again. You want that lift?"

I didn't answer for a long time but finally shook my head and Clayton nodded a fraction. He headed out and left me there to stare at my half packed bag. He wasn't long though, he returned, Nick held by the scruff of his shirt, and shoved at me.

Nick stared at the bag and then at me, as Clayton slammed the door behind him, his big brown eyes widening. Damn it. The man was doing his cute eye thing unconsciously. I bit my lip. "Where are you going?"

"I don't know."

"I promised you, we'll go on a holiday, and I'll do whatever it takes. Booking might be a bit difficult right now, with the epidemic, but-" He shrugged. "Anything for you."

"Anything?"

"You can have the moon if you want. I heard they were selling land up there." He tried to smile but it faltered when I didn't return it. "Liz, I swear, I didn't cheat on you. I promise. Whatever she said she did, it was a lie."

"It was that woman who was … you said... you know. The alley. You said you thought it was me." I muttered.

Nick flopped down on the bed and stared at me, understanding dawning in his face, breathing out slowly. He looked tired and I felt bad suddenly. "That one."

"Yeah." I slid the bag off the bed and sat down beside him, our legs brushing, staring at my hands. "That one."

"Where'd you see her?"

"She works for the company." I added, "That I apparently run."

He didn't answer for a long time, and when he did, he attempted to joke. "Can we fire her?"

"Seriously tempted." I tried to return his smile and when his hand crept over, didn't shove it back. Tension faded as his hand squeezed mine.

Nick leaned against me, his head resting against mine, muscles still tense. "Well, give her a hard time at least."

"I don't know how to do any of this, Nick." I muttered. "I mean it. They want me to do this business stuff and I hate money."

"I noticed." Nick's lips twitched. "Whatever you want to do, do it."

"Give all the money to charity and be poor? Sponsor free medical clinics in America?" The 'no public healthcare' thing still baffled me.

"Well, you can be poor, and I'll pretend to be poor. It's the fashion this year." He joked softly. Nick was relaxing too, bit by bit, his fingers stroking across my hand. The smell of him so close only helped. "They need some help. There's a lot of sick humans right now."

"How bad has it been over the past week?"

"Crazy. Worse than crazy. We can't really go anywhere now, which suits us fine, but it's making it difficult. Half the houses are shut up. People have to have a certificate of health, you can't go outside between seven in the morning and seven at night, healthy kids are all limited to specific schools. Mass education." Nick scowled. He clearly did not like this. "Hopefully it'll be over soon. Lots of deaths. No one's getting buried right now- there's too many."

Oh god. I shut my eyes. It sounded awful. Really awful. Guilt filtered in.

"What's happening with the special humans?"

"Dunno. Maybe I should fund an Xmen type school." It was only a half joke. I did not want the company to keep them in some underground bunker like a bunch of criminals forever. It was cruel and wrong. Nick's bigass house suddenly flashed into my head. Oh man, it would be almost perfect. "We just lack the jet."

"Jet?"

"You know, x-man jet. For the human mutants." I smiled weakly and was rewarded by Nick's smile.

"So, you want to start free treatment clinics for the sick humans, and re-educate the mutants?" He offered. There was a hint of amusement in his face. "Really?"

Why the hell not?

"Nick, come here." I tugged him over, our lips gently, shutting my eyes. Relief flooded me as his lips, slightly chapped, grazed mine and I slid closer so he could hold me closer. "I love you too."

"Did they touch you?"

I shook my head. I knew what he meant. I knew, even after two years, Nick's worst nightmare was for that to happen again.

"I thought from the way you looked at me, that... well. Okay." He breathed out a long shuddering sigh. Shut his eyes just a moment before he opened them again to watch me strip. Nick's eyes were roaming over me slowly, watching for something, a bruise, a scratch, a slight dent that was new. He didn't have to say that was what his eyes were searching for- I knew the expression far too well. The 'Where have they hurt her today' expression.

"I'm okay." I breathed out, tried to smile, as I tried to stand there. My face flushed as he kept staring anyway. "Well, I'm freaking out a little, but they just kept us drugged."

"Good." All the tension was released from Nick's muscles as he breathed out. He flopped onto his back and stared up at the ceiling, arm around my waist, shutting his eyes. "Drama. Aussie, always drama."

"Help me study?"

"Wasn't I already doing that?"

I didn't answer and he grinned up at me, winking, stroking his palm across my face. "Okay, maybe not."

"Maybe not." I agreed and slid across to kneel beside him, leaning down to kiss him again. "Or the kids."

"You know you love us."

"I do. I just miss freedom." It was true. I missed freedom. And maybe it wasn't really Nick or the kids that restricted it. I added quickly, "I mean, I miss how it was before this sickness."

"Me too. So let's deal with it, cure people, kill that stupid thing, and go back to living in our castle."

"About that..." I said softly, as he shifted up for another kiss, kissing his face and neck gently. "It's a bit big and fancy for me."

"Is it?"

"Just a bit." I laughed softly as he pouted. The poor spoiled playboy. "Let's think about how to make it more homely, yeah?"

"Homely?"

"You can have your playboy mansion section." I added. "With the hot chicks on the walls. As long as the kids don't go in."

"I'll get the camera, you do the poses, and you have a deal." Nick grinned, hand sliding up my side, brushing my hair back off my neck.

Banging on the door, and Clayton's voice, made us both jump. "You two made up yet? Told you, ain't babysitting."

Nick rolled his eyes and jumped up, tugging me up with him. "Yeah, yeah, Clay. How often did I care for your kids before mine?"

"Less than I've cared for yours." Clay opened the door. "And Elena's ordering you two to eat some more. Jer agrees."

So, naturally, Clayton agreed. I didn't bother to argue, I went downstairs, Nick and Clayton not far behind and flopped down. Reece wrapped his arm around me and squeezed, hugging me into him, his warmth adding to the comfort of being home.

"G'day." He offered softly. Nick flopped on my other side, hand in mine again within seconds.

After that, dinner was much more peaceful, Elena's mood the most chaotic thing. Clayton kept feeding her, she kept trying to make him eat, but at least it was like back to normal. Kids raced around us, the twins being gently handed around, adults doting on them while the toddlers and bigger kids played in and outside, snow trampled all throughout the halls. They calmed down as the power was turned off and the fire put on, the living room lit with a warm glow that eased everyone's moods, relaxed everyone, and it wasn't long before the toddlers and kids fell asleep. Nick and Clay carried them upstairs, while the adults relaxed, tucking them into beds I'd slid hot water bottles into.

"There'll be a blizzard tomorrow morning, coming in around eight or nine, so whatever's on your mind can wait." Antonio said, matter of factly, as he caught me coming downstairs. He prodded me. "Got it?"

"Got it." I nodded. " How does heating and power rations work during a blizzard?"

"There's been some announcements, heating and power are being limited to town halls, hospitals and schools. People who are at risk, families with young kids, the elderly, the sick, are being given free transport to these places. Everyone else is told to rug up, shut up the room with the fire, and wait."

"Like that movie." I said softly. Something about snow and climate change. Global warming turning into cooling, I wasn't sure. "Good that they're being taken care of."

"To be honest, it's just the local county doing it, others aren't being so generous. I agree though." Antonio nodded as he sipped his drink slowly. "It's difficult. Power's so limited, coal and fuel sources for the power plants are coming in so slowly, that they have to limit it. But the cold is deadly. Truth is, people might die, simply from exposure. It'll be a bad winter."

More deaths. Great. "I wish I could do something."

"Everything that can be done is being done. We're going to take care of our own family. Keep the little ones warm and safe. It's just a blizzard, not the end of the world, we can cope." He squeezed my leg and stood up. "Speaking of which, I'll get some of the firewood cut up. Want to help?"

I nodded and followed him outside. Someone had cut down a number of trees, collected smaller wood, and it had all been gathered in a workshop to dry out. We worked, I cut up the wood with the handsaw, Antonio cut it with the axe, the bitter wind blowing right through the thick winter clothing as if it didn't exist. Snow occasionally blew with it, nothing to the extent of a blizzard, but I could see the signs already. Every now and then stars were seen through the thick clouds, as clouds raced across the sky. The smell of sawdust filled my nostrils, mixed with the smell of snow and cold, Antonio's sweat mixing with it. It was kind of relaxing though. Hard work with someone I cared about.

"This wind." I muttered, as I dropped another smaller log down beside him, shivering. "Wow."

"Wind chill's probably making the cold worse. You know how to knit?" He was half-joking, of course, but even Antonio seemed to be a bit cold. "I'd pay for it right now."

"Don't you have a scarf?"

"Inside." He smiled somewhat. Antonio started to gather up the wood and stack it. "Just get this up, get armfuls, and get back in."

"How much do we want in there?"

"Good amount- don't want to come out here too often in a blizzard." He replied as he stacked it up, took up the axe, and started work. "You're angry with Nick?"

"I think I might have been for a while. About things. It's okay now." I glanced at Antonio, who didn't seem that all surprised, just shrugged.

"I wondered why he wasn't in the doghouse. It's about time." He didn't say much more, just smacked the axe into wood, and dropped it onto the pile.

We took huge armfuls, made several trips, and dropped them into the living room. Nick came back downstairs, hugging me close, kissing the back of my head.

"All asleep?"

"Happy and asleep." He smiled. The warm glow of love was there in his face as he gazed back up the stairs. "God, sometimes I love them."

"Sometimes you hate them?" I teased.

Nick grinned. "When they're coc-"

"Haha." I cut him off as Clay moved past, shoving Nick in the head, rolling his eyes as he went. "G-rated."

"Not anymore, sexy, all the kids are asleep." Nick squeezed my ass as he moved past, winking. "Presents and then sex."

I curled up against his side, relaxed now, as we exchanged gifts. Once again I didn't have gifts to give, which frustrated me, but no one seemed to care. This year things were not fancy, not new, mostly swapping of objects. Clothing. Elena got my pregnancy clothing, Nick's idea, which seemed to be a good idea. Everyone was mostly too sleepy to care much, we sat around the warm living room, occasionally poking the fire, trying to bribe each other to go back outside into the cold for more wood.

I fell asleep against Nick's thigh, eyes shutting, his hand lazily stroking through my hair as we stared at the fire.

A/N life has been crazy... so much going on, I am so sorry! I do think about this a lot. :) And silly me, adding it to the wrong story! lmao