Disclaimer- I do not own Supernatural or any of its characters.

I'm skipping No Exit and The Usual Suspects, they're not really important to the storyline.

Thanks to everyone who reviewed!

Garideth- Yup, I love Croatoan too! Yeah, they still do…. But they're learning!

XKaterinaNightingaleX- :) It's completely all right!

blue-daisies- Haha, yeah, I know! Yeah, I take extra care since this is unbetaed, and I'm a grammar Nazi, anyway!

ccgnme-Oh, there's a lot more in store for Odette, yet!

Chapter name borrowed from Slipknot.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN- THE VIRUS OF LIFE

I hunched down on the stool, fighting back tears.

When it finally came down to it, I didn't want to die.

Not now.

Sam put an arm around me, but for once, it didn't work.

I was glad though, Dean hadn't shot Dwayne Tanner.

If I was going to die, at least I could be sure of that much.

"Doc, check her wound again, would you?"

Dr. Lee made no move.

"Doctor!" Dean barked.

"What's she need to examine her for?" The ex-Marine, Mark snapped.

I flinched, and Sam squeezed tighter, glaring at him.

"You saw what happened," Mark continued.

Dr. Lee looked at me, torn.

"Did her blood actually enter your wound?"

My eyes strayed to Pam's motionless body.

"Come on," Mark fumed. "Of course it did!"

"We don't know that for sure," Sam scowled at him.

"We can't take a chance," Dwayne did not meet my eyes.

"You know what we have to do."

Sam stood up, towering over Mark.

"Nobody shoots my sister."

The tears collected under my eyelids.

I'd finally gotten a chance to be happy, and now it had been snatched away again.

I just wished I could've seen Castiel one last time.

"She isn't gonna be your sister much longer," Dwayne growled.

Dean shoved him away roughly.

"You try anything, and I will shoot you myself."

I caught their hands.

"They're right." It cost me everything I had to say it.

"I'm infected. Give me the gun and I'll do it myself."

"Forget it," Dean snarled.

"We're not letting you do this," Sam's hand curled around mine.

"Please." My voice trembled. "I don't want to become a monster."

"Bambi, we've still got time."

Dean's ridiculous nickname only made me want to cry harder.

"Time for what?" Mark was furious.

"Look, I understand she's your sister, and I'm sorry, I am. But we gotta take care of this."

He pulled out his handgun.

Sam knocked it out of his hand.

Dean's voice was dangerously level.

"I'm gonna say this one time- you make a move on her, you'll be dead before you hit the ground."

"Then what are we supposed to do?" Mark bellowed.

Sam tossed him the keys to the car.

"Get the hell out of here, that's what," Dean glanced at him pointedly. "Take my car. You've got the explosives, there's an arsenal in there."

He looked at Dwayne and Dr. Lee.

You two go with him. You've got enough firepower to handle anything now."

"What about you guys?"

It sunk in only after a minute.

"No. Dean, Sam, no. Go with them. This is your only chance."

"You're not getting rid of us that easy," Sam sat next to me.

"No, she's right. Come with us."

Mark waited a beat.

"Okay, it's your funeral."

He led Dwayne and Dr. Lee out the door.

They left, and Dean shut the door behind them.

"You're not giving up, Bambi. We're not leaving."

I put my face in my hands.

I couldn't hold it in anymore.

"Wish we had a deck of cards," Dean coughed.

"Or a foosball table or something."

"Don't." I blinked through the tears.

"Don't do this, both of you. Get the hell out of here."

"No way," Sam's mouth tightened.

"Give me my gun, and leave," My voice broke.

"For the last time, Odette. No. We're not going to kill you. I'd rather shoot myself in the head first."

Dean's eyes were flat.

No compromises.

I slammed my hand down on the table, irrational anger crashing through me, because they were throwing away everything I used to have.

Everything I was going to die trying to have.

"No. Go."

I stood up, fiercely wiping my face.

"You can keep going. You have each other. That's all you need."

"You have to understand."

The tears coursed down my cheeks, and I choked back a sob.

"There was never much hope for me, anyway. I'm living a lie, Sam, Dean. I keep hoping things will get better, but I already know it won't. It's no use."

I couldn't stand to look at them.

"I wake up every morning, and there's nothing I have to live for. Not anymore. After everything…"

I trailed off.

"Trust me, you'd be doing me a kindness by letting me die."

"Crap."

Both my head and Dean's jerked up as Sam kicked his chair to the wall, ice crystallizing in his voice.

"What?"

"I said its crap. You're family, Odette."

Sam's eyes burned into mine.

"We don't abandon family. We go down with them, because that's what family does."

"Sam…."

I looked from face to face, and the tears started afresh.

I was losing two more brothers today.

And Castiel, my mind whispered.

"I'm sorry."

I snatched the gun from Dean, before they could react, putting it against my head.

I'm sorry, Castiel. I wish I had your faith.

"Stop."

There was so much authority in that single word, I couldn't help but obey.

Castiel pulled the gun from my hand, sending it clattering onto the floor.

Something close to anger flashed in his eyes.

"Death is your only solution, isn't it? You're a coward, Odette."

He pressed his fingers to my forehead, and the slit in my hand pulsed with pain.

I dimly heard Dean and Sam shout.

Everything went black.

~Supernatural~

I sat huddled on my bed, panting as I woke up from the same nightmare.

My lips trembled.

I wished Castiel hadn't saved me.

Almost as if he'd read my mind, Sam stepped into my room.

"Hey."

"Hey," I said quietly as he sat down on my bed.

"How did you know I was awake?"

He smiled wryly.

"I had a feeling."

"So."

I looked down.

"What you said back there…." Sam's tone was soft.

I looked up.

I knew what he was asking.

"It was the truth."

The ache in my chest returned full-force, and I couldn't take it any longer.

I crawled into Sam's lap, burying my face in his chest to hide my sobs.

He wound his arms around me.

"Sshh, Odette," He soothed. "It's gonna be okay."

I tried my hardest to believe him.

…

Dean and Castiel found us asleep like that in the morning.

Castiel looked my way sternly, and I flushed.

I'm sorry, Castiel. I just don't know what to do anymore.

His face seemed to be a little less severe.

Dean grinned evilly.

"Well, if it isn't the mother hen and her brood."

Sam growled, and I turned beetroot red, hiding my smile.

Maybe, just maybe, there was hope.