A/N: I am trying something new with this chapter, so please bear with me. This chapter is Kate-centric and so it is a little light on Castleness, but, please, enjoy.

Thank you to slider23 for the inspiration for this chapter.

They arrived at the address fifteen minutes after one. The SWAT team was set to arrive at one thirty so they had no choice but to wait. She surveyed the area as they waited for their back up to arrive. It was a modest area in the shady part of Brooklyn. There were 9 condominium buildings arranged in a row, spaced a few meters apart from each other. They rose up to four floors and looked relatively new. As she looked around, she couldn't help but notice the kids playing in the mini playground located to the far left, just past the last condominium which was Caleb Larson's last known location.

Too young to realize the evils of this world. She thought to herself as she parked her car behind the third building from the left.

"So, what's our plan?" She turned to her right as Esposito spoke and strapped his vest on. She opened her mouth to reply when a voice from the backseat beat her to it.

"I say...let's wait for back up."

Glancing in the rearview mirror, she waited for Ryan to check the magazine of his gun before she made eye contact with him and gave him a nod of approval. She then turned to Esposito and shrugged.

As a SWAT van pulled up directly behind them, Ryan and Esposito disembarked from the vehicle in unison as if it were a cue that they had been waiting for. Taking a second for herself, Kate took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

"Beckett, you coming?" Esposito asked slapping him hand on the roof of the car as he leaned in through the open door to see where she had gotten to. Startled, her eyes snapped open and she cursed herself for floating away.

She gave him a small smile and a nod. "I'll be there in a second. Just need to put my vest on." Esposito threw her a puzzled glance as she was normally excited to go on a bust like this but decided to walk away.

She looked at her reflection in the rearview mirror as she wistfully smiled to herself. She couldn't help but compare her smile to the one she used to wear before-before her life went to hell. It was pained... bitter... scarred. She can remember that day distinctly, the day she lost her parents-one to the murderous bastard who stole her mother from them and one to the bottle.

~0~0~

She was 19-fresh out of high school (barely into college), hormones barely in check and rebellion in full swing-well, sometimes. But there was no doubt that she loved her parents. She may do crazy things but she knew her limitations. She knew not to hurt her parents. She knew how it worked: ignore some chores, stay up later than allowed, drink a few beers, buy a motorcycle... Her parents were understanding. They knew what she was doing but they trusted her enough to not do anything she couldn't handle. After all, she was the top student in school. Her parents knew of her activities, not because they had spies in her school, but because she told them, face to face, in honest to God conversations.

She distinctly remembered that night. They were supposed to go out for dinner. To go out as a family. They did that a lot- go out. She loved her parents, they knew that. They loved her, she knew that. Her mom has always been a busy person but she never lied to them. Even when her work was getting in the way, she would always find a way to show up.

A few minutes later, as they waited for their third counterpart to arrive, Kate and her Dad sat in comfortable silence on the couch as the TV in front of them droned on. By the time an hour had passed, they could sit in silence no longer.

"Should we wait?" She asked her father. Her Dad gave her a dry smile indicating his answer. Yes. We should.

She offered him a smile in return and then keeled over sideways holding her stomach. "If I die of malnourishment, it's your fault." She laughingly joked.

"I'm afraid that that is just a risk that I am going to have to take."

So they sat there and waited for an hour more. She saw her dad glance at his watch once or twice and she heard his stomach grumble. She watched as he stood up wearing his "I've made a decision" face.

"Let's go, kiddo. I'm sure your mom will show up at the restaurant."

She gave him a grin as she jumped off the couch and turned off the television.

She didn't know then that, years later, she would ponder as to what could have happened if she hadn't said yes...What if she called home to ask for help? To ask them to fetch her? To have them wait for her at home instead?If they'd waited for a few more hours for her. She knew she couldn't have helped... but what if?

They ended up having a nice dinner. During the meal, they came to a consensual agreement-since this was the first time her mom was late, they would forgive her. And maybe bring her some takeout, or maybe not. Perhaps they would only give it to her after making her feel properly ashamed for not calling them. Her mom. She was never one for calling. I'd rather talk to you when I can see your face rather than imagine it,she reasoned.

They were laughing at some bad joke that her dad had made as they pulled into the driveway. They got out of the car and she skipped up the driveway in a childish manner, relishing in the fact that she can still do that. So with the bag of takeout in one hand, she hummed a tune and sped ahead of her Dad. She heard him lock the car doors and run after her, prompting her to run faster.

You two are so silly. Her mom often scolded them.

They reached the porch steps and Kate put down the bag as they were bent over, holding their sides as their bodies were wracked with laughter at their foolishness. She stood up first, being able to reel in her laughter and catch her breath quicker than her dad. She looked up and was surprised to see the a man sitting on the porch swing as if in wait. As he saw them approach, the man stood up from his seat and stood rigidly facing them. Realizing that she was no longer laughing, her dad looked up at the man standing on their porch.

"Mister? Can I help you?" Her dad asked, ignoring the last vestiges of laughter still bubbling inside.

"Sir, I am Detective John Raglan. Is this the home of one Johanna Beckett?" The man asked in response.

At those words, the light of day that was left seemed to fade away completely as Kate sunk to the stairs, just knowing where the man was going with that line of questioning.

"Yes. She is my wife." Jim finally had the presence of mind to answer.

"Sir, I am sorry to inform you that your wife was found murdered this evening..."

What Detective Raglan may have said after that was completely lost on Kate as the world lost sound and seemed to dissolve around her and all she could focus on was the man in front of her, standing so casually in his suit with a badge and gun clipped to his belt.

She sat on the steps. Unmoving. Unfeeling. What do you say when you've lost an important person in your life? How would you feel? Which feeling do you give into at first? These thoughts swirled in her head but it hadn't fully sunk in. She thought of her mother. Her last memories of her. All the times they spent together. Her sweet, wonderful, kind mother-such a lovely soul, lost to a fate so tragic...so undeserved.

She's happy, Kate told herself. No one can tell her what to do anymore.

But all the platitudes in the world were not going to make this better, it was not going to change what had happened. Finally, she let one thing sink in: her mother was not coming back. Suddenly, everything happening around her became irrelevant... useless... stupid. All she knew was that: It hurts.

It fucking hurts.

~0~0~

She looked at the watch adorning her wrist. It's the only tangible reminder she has left of her Dad-a reminder of how happy her dad had been, back when he still cared about life...about his family. Now, all that was left was a washed up and drunk, shell of a man. Looking at the watch, she couldn't help but long for those days back, the days when he was happy-hell, the days she was happy-and her mother was there.

She got the vest from the backseat and strapped it in. She took a deep sigh, closed her eyes and remembered an image of their happy family-ingrained it in her memory-and then unbidden, another image of a happy family popped into her head. A family she seemed to be becoming more of a part of every day. A new family. Finally, she opened her eyes, chambered a bullet in her gun and stepped out of the car. I'm ready.

~0~0~

"Our suspect lives on the third floor. Let's split up into two teams. Ryan, take four members of SWAT and approach from the left." She instructed.

"Esposito, you're coming with me." She pointed to the two remaining members of the SWAT team-snipers. Better safe than sorry, she thought to herself. "... and you, set up: there..." she pointed to the building next to the suspect's building. "...and there." She pointed to a building across the street, a warehouse for toys.

The snipers left to set their apparatus up. She looked at Ryan. "Remember, try not to spook him. The four of you will go in first," she told the SWAT members. "Avoid gunfire, if possible."

"Let's go."

Ryan and his SWAT team climbed up the stairs as silently as possibly, hoping to avoid informing anyone of their arrival. The SWAT team, led by Ryan, placed themselves on the left side of the door to the condo of interest while first Kate and then Esposito flanked it on the right side.

"Go in first and clear the room. Understood?" She whispered to Ryan. Ryan nodded seriously and knocked on the door.

"Caleb Larson. NYPD. We have a warrant. Open this door!" Ryan shouted. After waiting a beat they heard a rustle inside. Not knowing what to expect, the officers waited a beat longer to see if any more sounds could be heard.

Nothing.

"Last warning. We're coming in!" Ryan turned to the SWAT member behind him as he stepped back. They all braced themselves for the coming kick to the door. The SWAT member counted down using his fingers and unleashed a vicious kick when he reached zero.

Ryan looked at Kate as she gave him a firm nod. He went inside and was followed by the other members, one by one. They did it slowly and deliberately. Just as the last SWAT member entered the building, Kate noticed a man emerging from the condo beside Larson's wearing a cap and a hoodie, trying to hide his face from them.

"Sir, you need to stay in your apartment. Sir!" Kate yelled towards the man as he broke into a sprint as he neared the fire exit when she heard Ryan yell from inside.

"There's a escape hatch in here-a hole in the wall between this condo and the one next door."

Hearing that, Kate and Esposito sprang into action. Giving chase, Larson ran even faster down the stairs. As they entered the stairwell, Kate's grip on her gun relaxed as she tried to determine which direction Larson had fled. Having caught sight of a flash of clothing nearing the bottom of the stairs, Kate's grip tightened a little as she continued to give chase with Esposito not far behind.

"Larson! Freeze! NYPD!" Kate once more bellowed out as she saw Larson duck through the doorway at the bottom of the stairwell.

By the time they have reached the main floor, both Kate and Esposito were panting from the chase but the adrenaline still surged high. Running out the door they had seen Larson exit from not moments before, they saw him approaching the mini playground next to the building.
They ran out of the main doors as they saw Larson approach the mini playground.

"I said freeze!" She shouted as she pointed the gun at the figure a few meters away from her. The children stopped what they were doing and turned their attention to the scene playing out in front of them. Caleb stopped, turned around and gave her a smug smile.

"You wouldn't shoot me in front of all these kids, would you, Detective Beckett?"

At the mention of the kids, Kate's gun dipped slightly as she considered the chances of hitting a child with an errant shot. Her hold on the gun faltered slightly as she remembered the kids. That was all it took. In that split second, Larson had managed to turn and run across the street, right into the open door of the warehouse. Pulling her radio from her belt, Kate quickly made contact with the snipers. He turned around and ran across the street... and towards the warehouse. She took the radio attached to her belt and notified the snipers.

"Alpha to Charlie and Delta, do you see the target?"

Not waiting for a response, Kate ran straight towards the warehouse, assuming Esposito had her back.

"Charlie to Alpha. I see him, boss."

"Delta to Alpha. Negative."

"Charlie, keep him in your sights. I repeat, keep him in your sights. Don't lose him. I'll try to engage him at a closer range."

Turning off the radio, Kate carefully entered the warehouse through the same door as Larson. As she cleared the entrance, she thanked whatever god that was watching over her that there were no people inside.

Standing behind a stack of boxes that she had encountered nearly as soon as she had entered the warehouse, Kate quickly weighed her options and decided to wait for Esposito, as she heard Larson scrambling around within the warehouse like a trapped mouse. After what seemed like forever, but was actually no more than a minute or two, Esposito swiftly appeared at her side.

"Hey, I've secured the perimeter. I've got SWAT blocking every exit. This is the only point of entry and exit." He said, motioning to the door he just came in.

"Good. Let's split up. You go right." Esposito grinned at her as he checked that his gun for jams and turned the safety off. "And, break."

As soon as Esposito disappeared around the corner, Kate started clearing her side of the warehouse. Mumbling a silent prayer to herself, she held the gun down, tightened her muscles, and started her search. She had searched about 2 rows of stacked boxes when she heard the sound of a struggle.

"Mierda!" She heard Esposito curse, quickly followed by what sounds like the butt of a gun hitting a person's head.

Hoping beyond hope that it wasn't Esposito who had been pistol whipped, but thankful that, if it was, he had not been shot, Kate carefully hurried in the direction the sounds had come from.

"Deteeeeective. I know you're here..." Larson drawled out loud as he checked the gun's magazine.

She followed Larson's voice and it wasn't long before she was standing close to him. Only a tall stack of boxes was separating the prey, from the predator.

"You don't want your buddy here to die, do you?" He laughed maniacally.

She closed her eyes and evened out her breathing. She was ready. She poised her gun, took a deep breath, and rounded the corner. And then…a shot. A body falling. A scream. But the world still spun.

So this is what dying feels like.She thought wryly to herself. So intent was she on locking up every happy memory she had that she failed to notice that Ryan, together with the SWAT team, rushed in after they heard the gunshot. So intent was she that she missed how Ryan shot the gun from Larson's hand. So intent was she that she didn't even feel Esposito's hand pressing down on her wound and screaming at her to stay conscious. So intent was she that she didn't remember how she was carried out of the warehouse on a stretcher. So intent was she... that she didn't know how the paramedics tried to resuscitate her when they noticed the gradual weakening of the beating of her heart.

But she was dead, so she didn't know how their faces fell when the doctor pronounced her 'Dead On Arrival'. She didn't know how many people grieved and how many cried.

But there was one thing she knew amidst everything. She knew that she has loved, and she may have not loved enough, but she has fought for all those she have loved.

They say it is better to have loved than not have loved at all. But isn't it better to have loved and fought for those you loved than to have not loved at all?

A/N: Please don't kill me. Kill my beta-ish instead. If you can find her, that is (I think she is hiding in fear of you guys). In lieu of finding her, please direct all comments-good, bad or in between to...well, I guess to me. Push the review button if you have an opinion you would like to share.