A/n: Happy New Year everyone! Hope you all had wonderful holidays. Thank you so much to my reviewers, you guys make my day. Now after that talk, Addison has some thinking to do... Enjoy!

Chapter 11

As Addison got ready for bed that night, she felt glad that Jack had finally confided in her a little. She had begun to feel increasingly worried about him as he showed up to work looking more and more haggard, and now she had an idea of why. There was also that day she'd walked in on him having a serious nightmare and she'd been concerned about what was going on ever since.

At the same time, she almost felt a bit frustrated, because she still didn't know enough to be able to help him. He was still keeping her at a distance, still trying to struggle on alone and she badly wanted to just be there for him, to understand what was going on and help him through it. She tried to promise herself it was purely out of friendship – she would do the same for any of her other friends, after all – but it was more than that with Jack. Maybe there never really would be a chance at romance between them, but she couldn't help thinking about it. She still had feelings for him that she couldn't banish.

Addison began brushing her teeth and thought about what Jack had told her that night, about being involved in a major accident. What kind of an accident, she wondered. A car accident? Something more major? He'd said it had involved a large number of people and that it was a traumatic experience. Perhaps a building fire? A boat sinking?

Finished in the bathroom, she flicked off the light and crossed the living room of her apartment. She passed her laptop but then stopped and backed up a few steps until she was standing in front of it again. She remembered how Callie had once suggested she should Google Jack if she wanted to know more about him. She'd thought it was silly at the time, but…

If it was a major accident, surely it would have been in the news? Maybe that was why he had thought she might recognize him?

Even as she sat down and started booting up her laptop however, she began to change her mind again. She'd told Jack she was here for him whenever he needed to talk. She'd promised herself on her way back home that she'd be patient, she'd respect his privacy. From what she knew of him, he didn't let on what he was feeling easily, or hardly at all, and him opening up earlier was a big deal.

Her browser was open and waiting almost at once. She should shut down her computer and walk away…

Addison typed Jack's name into the search engine, hesitated briefly, then hit enter.

Damn her insatiable curiosity. And Callie for ever suggesting Google in the first place.

Instantly she was bombarded with results that took her breath away.

"YouTube: Oceanic Survivor Jack Shephard Releases Statement in Press Conference"

"Fifty Survivors of Oceanic Flight 815 Rescued Via Freighter"

"'We Just Want to Move On' – Oceanic Survivor Breaks Radio Silence"

"Special Investigation: Why Did Flight 815 Crash?"

"'Miracle' Rescue as Fifty People Found on Deserted Island by Long Range Freighter"

"Oceanic Survivor Kate Austen Arrested For Previous Crimes"

"LA Times: Oceanic Survivors Jack Shephard and Kate Austen Dating?"

"Driveshaft Holds Memorial Concert In Light Of Oceanic Flight 815 Rescue – Former Band Member Pace Not Among Survivors"

"Oceanic Survivor Sayid Jarrah Marries Childhood Sweeatheart – Number of Other Survivors Attend Private Ceremony"

"Oceanic Survivors 'Trying To Get Back To Normal'"

"Flight 815 Goes Missing Over The Pacific Ocean With 324 Passengers On Board"

Search Related:
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st. sebastian's hospital los angeles

Her heart was racing as she scanned the various headlines. She clicked the first one, a video link for a press conference and sat back to watch.

It began with a representative from Oceanic Airlines, a woman in a sharp navy suit, approaching a podium. Camera flashes and questions assaulted her at once, but she put her hands up swiftly to quiet them down, then proceeded to talk into the microphone.

"Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. On September 22, 2004, Oceanic Flight 815 took off from Sydney, Australia bound for Los Angeles, California. Six hours in, the plane lost radio contact and seemed to have disappeared somewhere over the Pacific Ocean." A map appeared behind and to her right, and she gestured with a laser pointer. "108 days later, a freighter suffered an electrical malfunction and deviated from its proper course, coming upon a small island, not on any of their maps. It was here that they found the missing plane and just 50 remaining survivors of the original 324 passengers who had originally been on board the plane."

Addison covered her mouth with her hand in shock as she listened. Major accident he'd said!

"As you've all read in your briefing books, the survivors were then transported to Honolulu, Hawaii and once it was determined who they were, they were brought back to Los Angeles. This photo was taken of the survivors as they exited LAX four days ago." The woman paused, lowering the laser pointer as a large picture of a number of people flashed behind her. "I'm sure you can imagine that this has been an extremely trying experience for all involved. Dr. Jack Shephard, however, has agreed to read a statement on behalf of the Oceanic survivors."

Jack emerged from behind the Oceanic emblazoned curtain as the woman stepped aside. He took up her place behind the podium as camera flashes went off continually again.

"Thank you. I would like to start by saying that we are very grateful to be home and are eager to put this all behind us." He cleared his throat and began reading off a set of papers in his hands. "As you already know, the plane took off from Sydney and several hours in, it lost all radio contact. The pilot was attempting to turn around to land in Fiji, when we hit a pocket of severe turbulence and went down. He later told us, before he died of his injuries, that we were more than a thousand miles off course.

"The plane broke apart in mid-air, and crash landed all over the island. I was in the mid-section, which ended up on the main beach. The death toll was catastrophic: only 48 people survived, with another 23 surviving the tail section's crash on the other side of the island. The only survivor from the front section was the pilot, Seth Norris, who as I have already mentioned, shortly died of his injuries. There were numerous other injuries, and many succumbed to them within the first few days of being stranded. As the only doctor, I did everything I could to ensure the survival of as many people as possible. With extreme conditions and next to no supplies, however, I was often unable to."

Addison shook her head, unable to fathom the situation Jack had once found himself in. She tried to imagine what it could possibly be like, to be in a plane that crashed on an island, to be surrounded by casualties and as a doctor be unable to help. How many of them died in his arms? How many of them died within hours, days or even weeks?

"The island we landed on was rich with fruit and fish," Jack continued. "And we were able to keep ourselves from going hungry. Due to the elements and the realities of living on an island for three months, however, more lives were tragically lost, resulting in there being just 50 of us remaining when the freighter came upon the island. A scouting party of scientists was sent from the freighter to study aspects of the island when they found us, and they immediately radioed for help. Following that, as you know, we boarded the freighter and were brought to Hawaii and then LA.

"We are extremely thankful to the crew of the freighter for discovering us and bringing us home, and for Oceanic Airlines for the settlement we have all received. This trauma will be with us forever, and we simply wish to return to our regular lives as much as we can. We appreciate you respecting our privacy as we overcome the past few months and move forward. Thank you for your time."

As Jack concluded the statement and stepped back, the press immediately jumped to their feet, shouting questions. Jack disappeared behind the curtain on the stage, while the Oceanic representative rushed forward. She practically had to shout to be heard despite the amplification the microphone provided.

"No questions will be taken at this time," she said. "No further questions! Thank you for your time, but the survivors of Oceanic 815 would like to ask that they be left to move on from this gruelling and traumatic experience, and therefore will not be releasing any further statements."

The video ended with the Oceanic woman, looking slightly harried, following Jack behind the thick curtain.

Addison's mind was reeling. She felt like she couldn't wrap it around what she'd just watched. As the press conference had gone on, she realized she'd heard about flight 815 back when it had happened in September. It had been big news, splashed all over every newspaper, that the massive Boeing 777 had simply disappeared somewhere over the Pacific Ocean. Then back in January, she remembered hearing about the extraordinary miracle that a group of passengers had been found. She wasn't one to keep tabs on the news generally, however, and there was always some new catastrophe that was being reported, so the story about Oceanic 815 had simply faded from memory, extraordinary as it was.

But Jack – her Jack, the man she worked with, was friends with, wanted more with – he had actually been on that plane. He and 49 other people had, against all odds, survived a plane breaking apart in mid-air and had spent something like three months on a deserted island. No wonder Jack was having nightmares and looked constantly exhausted. If it had been her, she thought she wouldn't be able to get up in the morning after having gone through something so extreme. It was the type of thing you saw in movies or on TV, heard about on the news from time to time. The type of thing you believed would never happen to you or someone close to you.

With trembling fingers, she began reading the other links and it wasn't long before she knew basically everything there was to know about Oceanic 815, the crash, the rescue, and more. She read story upon story reporting the plane's disappearance and the rescue a few months later. She delved into articles about Kate Austen, a survivor with a criminal past who Jack was romantically linked with. The online archives of several LA tabloids were a treasure trove of sensational articles about the pair.

They had moved in together shortly after they were rescued, and then Kate was arrested for a laundry list of crimes she'd apparently committed (and been on the run for) prior to Oceanic's crash. Another article talked in depth about how Kate had broken out of the place she was being held awaiting her trial and had disappeared without a trace, just back in May.

Complicated, she thought, remembering Jack's statement about being in love with someone else. Is the understatement of the century.

She realized that all of this must have been why Jack had come to Seattle in May. Kate had left him and disappeared, he was still dogged by members of the paparazzi begging him for "the real story" and the gritty details of his time on the island, and it sounded like they even had started bothering him where he worked. She couldn't blame him for running away, for struggling every day and wished more than ever she could help him somehow, maybe ease his pain.

"Oh Jack…" she breathed, her heart breaking for him.

Damn her insatiable curiosity.

A/n: And now she knows... Thanks for reading! :D