A/n: Eeps! I have fallen so behind in posting, you guys. I keep getting too much on my plate and too many balls in the air, and I keep dropping them. Anyways, here's a long over due chapter! And I will post the next one right after to make up for the long absence. Thanks for sticking with me! This chapter again is borrowing from the season 4 flash-forward of Hurley's party, but again has a lot of differences.

Chapter 14

Sayid cleared his throat softly then said, "Interesting choice of theme."

Hurley shook his head. "Yeah, Mom really doesn't get it, dude. I don't know what they were thinking."

"Were they trying to be ironic?" asked Jack, his lips quirking into a half-smile.

"Dude," Hurley chuckled. "I doubt they know what ironic even means."

Mr. Reyes approached the group at the moment, an excited grin on his face. "Hey, how's everybody doing? What are you all talking about? Building a fire? Hunting boars?"

Jack stiffened and he exchanged glances with Sayid. The smile on Nadia's features disappeared and she visibly bristled, ready to defend Sayid if need be.

"Dad…" Hurley groaned.

"I guess not, huh?" Mr. Reyes looked good-naturedly from face to face, and when he received no encouragement, he laughed uneasily and turned back to his son. "I need to borrow Hugo for a minute – come on son, I have to show you your birthday present!"

He grabbed his son's arm and edged away from the group. Hurley grimaced but followed.

Nadia excused herself to the bathroom while Sawyer and Juliet went to refill their drinks, leaving Jack and Sayid momentarily alone.

"Hurley told us about your friend, Addison," Sayid said. "Is there a particular reason why you have not told her what happened to you? And about the island?"

"How long before you told Nadia?" Jack countered.

"Just a few weeks." Sayid answered. "But we have known each other for a very long time. Once we were reconnected, I knew at once I wanted to marry her."

"Did you tell her about Shannon, too?" He wasn't trying to be rude, but he had to know.

Sayid nodded. "That was not a secret I could keep from her."

Silence stretched between them for several seconds. It was Jack who broke it first.

"I just… can't bring myself to talk about it. The best way I know how to deal with it is… well, to ignore it. If I don't tell her, I can do that."

"But if you do not tell her, and you grow closer, how much worse will it feel to have this secret between you?"

Jack knew his friend was right, but the thought of explaining to Addison about everything that happened, about Boone, the raft, the hatch, Ben, Kate… He just couldn't bear for her to look at him differently, to treat him like he was something fragile and wounded like everyone else had when he'd returned from the island.

If she knew, then everything would change, and his "fresh start" would be a complete waste. The point of dropping everything and coming to Seattle was to leave his baggage far behind, to start over and move forward.

So much for that, he thought grimly, remembering the short conversation he'd had with Kate on the payphone. He tried to run away from his baggage, but it simply came with him.

Sayid spoke again, breaking Jack from his thoughts.

"I am sure you will be able to tell her when you are ready," his friend said. "She clearly means a lot to you, and it is quite plain she cares about you too."

Jack almost denied this statement with the usual "we're just friends" defense, or something about how he was still in love with Kate and therefore could not be in love with Addison. He couldn't deny the way he felt when he'd laid eyes on her earlier in the evening, however, or the way that he was itching to be near her again. His fellow survivors relaxed him because it felt warm and familiar to be around them, but with Addison he was relaxed because he felt safe and normal.

He didn't have the chance to discuss the subject further with Sayid, however, as Addison and Nadia returned moments later and the conversation turned to other topics.

By midnight, the crowd had thinned out but the party was still going strong. It was starting to resemble a small wedding in many ways, with drunk guests, conga lines and more. There was also a limbo event, and of the course the cutting of the cake, and as the night wore on, Jack and Addison continued having a great time.

She ditched her shoes under the buffet table shortly after midnight and Jack shed his coat not long after. With a lot of wheedling and one more beer, Addison finally managed to get Jack out on the grass dance floor with her. While Hurley was opening gifts on the well-lit patio, Jack, Addison and a variety of other guests continued dancing, stopping occasionally to take a break and have another drink. She was quite proud of herself in that she'd kept her alcohol consumption moderate and was feeling a "good buzz" as she and Jack took another break from dancing.

Jack collapsed onto one of the folding chairs that had been set up in the yard close to the house. "Is everywhere I go humid and hot or is it just me?"

Addison laughed. "You used to live here – you should be used to this. Besides, you're the one who wore long sleeves."

"You're the one who's making me dance and get all sweaty."

"You can't come to a party like this and not dance," she said matter-of-factly. "That's why there's a DJ and designated dance area. It's not just for show."

"When I go to a party, it is."

"Oh, admit it, you're having fun."

Jack sighed heavily but the effect was lost when he smiled as he answered, "I might be having a little bit of fun."

She stood and gestured for him to get up as well. "I might have an idea to get you away from the heat of the party, too."

"Really?" Jack looked hopeful as he followed her across the lawn, weaving between guests.

She led him to the edge of the expansive lawn – or what he thought was the edge – where a small cobblestone path led off into the darkness of some tall hedges. The path went straight for roughly ten feet then turned sharply to the left, and the path was illuminated from some pale white light coming from up ahead. They followed it and a few seconds later the path opened to a small courtyard with a fountain and a pair of stone benches on either side. Small, semi-dim white lights similar to Christmas lights were dotted in the hedges, creating a firefly-like effect. The path crossed through the courtyard and continued beyond more hedges, but Addison held out her arms and said in a sing-song voice,

"Ta-da!"

"How did you know Hurley's parents had this?" Jack questioned, staring around the space in awe. It was beautiful and surprisingly quiet, the hedges somehow blocking out much of the pounding music. Even better, because it was removed from all the people and dancing, it did indeed feel cooler in temperature.

"Your friend Juliet was mentioning it earlier. Apparently Mrs. Reyes did a mini-tour of the yard when most of the guests had arrived, but we got there after that."

"It's amazing," said Jack and took a seat on one of the stone benches.

"I know," she agreed, sitting beside him. "I have officially decided that I need to move out of my apartment into a house with a backyard so I can make it look like this. I don't even care if the house is ridiculously small, so long as the backyard has that fountain, those lights and these benches."

Jack chuckled and then said in a more serious tone, "And you can't forget the hedges."

"Nope, no hedges."

"Why not?"

"Because then my neighbors won't be able to see into my yard and be jealous. Besides, I kind of suck at gardening, so with my luck, I would simply kill the hedges and that would be much worse than not having them."

"Ah, but how are you going to have those little lights without the hedges?"

"Hmm." She cocked her head to the side, facing him. "Touché."

Their laughter died away a few seconds later and he became suddenly quite aware that they were sitting very close, and their faces were turned towards each other. It would be almost no effort at all to kiss her. All he had to do was lean forward just a little bit…

A loud burst of noise and laughter caused them to jump apart. A couple had stumbled onto the stone path nearby, though by the sounds of it, they retreated a few seconds later without finding the romantic little courtyard. The quiet thrumming beat from the dance floor stopped and a muffled voice could be heard speaking into the microphone.

The moment between Jack and Addison was lost, and she cleared her throat, standing up.

"We'd better get back out there. It sounds like Hurley is nearly done with the gifts."

"Yeah," he agreed, glancing at his watch. "It's late, we should probably go to the hotel anyways."

Once they were back at their hotel, they went into Jack's room first and then Addison headed towards the adjoining door.

"I had a lot of fun tonight," she said. "Thanks for inviting me to the party, and LA, with you."

"You're welcome." Jack replied. "I had fun too."

"Well… good night."

"'Night."

She shut the door with a soft click. He stared at it for a few moments, conflicted. He had the urge to follow her through it and finish the kiss he'd wanted to start in the courtyard. He realized with a jolt that he hadn't thought of Kate in several hours – not since he'd been talking to Sayid, and even then, though her absence at the party had felt painful at first, it had dulled and disappeared as the night went on. That had to be a sign, right?

His hand was hovering over the door knob, but he stopped himself. What he should be doing, if anything, was apologizing for trying to kiss her earlier. He was the one, after all, who had first rejected her. He was the one who said they should stay as friends. He was the one who was giving her mixed signals left and right.

He backed away from the door. It was better to leave it like this, he decided. She still didn't know about the crash and he still couldn't handle the idea of telling her about it. Kissing her and starting something would only make things immensely more complicated.

The last thing I need is more complication, he thought with finality.

Jack turned away and headed into the bathroom to have a quick shower before he turned in for the night.

She shut the door with a soft click. Addison leaned against it, her mind racing with possibilities. She had forced herself not to think too much about that almost-kiss-or-something in the courtyard at the Reyes', but now that she was alone, she couldn't stop thinking about it.

He'd smelled so good, and he had leaned forward, and she'd wanted to kiss him badly. She'd hesitated despite this, however, for a number of reasons. First and foremost, of course being that he had once upon a time turned her down because he'd stated that he was in love with someone else. She wanted to believe that maybe he had somehow changed his mind, fallen out of love with this other woman – who, according to the internet, was Kate Austen the fugitive.

But suppose she assumed he was no longer stuck on Kate and she'd kissed back, started something between them, and then Kate came back into his life? What then? And when she, Addison, was left completely heart-broken when he inevitably chose Kate, she'd end up on Callie or maybe even Mark's couch with ice cream, full I-knew-its and I-told-myself-sos. She'd already been through enough heart break, in her opinion, what with her failed marriage with Derek, the crumbling of her romantic relationship with Mark and ill-advised fling with Karev. Did she really want to add Jack to that list?

Not to mention the fact that she was supposed to be leaving for LA to work at Oceanside with Sam and Naomi. She was supposed to have quit, she should be at home packing, not out partying. And there was yet another reason why she needed to stay on this side of the door. How could she go ahead and get involved, only to leave for LA in a few short weeks? Or at best, post-pone for the third time or fourth (or whatever time she was on now – she was losing track of the messages she'd left) and then leave him behind? It wouldn't be fair to either of them.

Even as she considered all this and felt fairly certain she could see exactly how this would play out should she open the door at her back and march into his hotel room, she thought, But wouldn't it be worth it? It's Jack.

Addison tossed her clutch and shawl onto the floor, making her decision. She ran her hands over her hair and dress, took a deep breath and opened the door.

She stepped in and didn't see him, but then she heard the shower going. She hesitated momentarily, unsure what to do next. Then she lost her nerve and retreated back into her room, closing the door again and this time flipping the lock. She exhaled and covered her burning face with her hands, having second, third and fourth thoughts about what she had almost just done.

His life is enough of a mess as it is, she silently chastised herself. He doesn't need you coming in and making it worse. Maybe someday – far away – and on his terms. Nothing more. Besides, you're leaving.

Keeping that firmly in mind, she made her way to the bathroom to get ready for bed.

A/n: That little moment in the hotel was inspired by a similar scene in season 3 of Castle, so little shout out to another great show. Thanks for reading!