Disclaimer- I do not own Supernatural or any of its characters.

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Chapter name borrowed from Dashboard Confessional.

Lyrics borrowed from Escape Club.

Because I'm on your side,

And I still care,

I may have died,

But I've gone nowhere.

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT- GHOST OF A GOOD THING

It was too late.

Even ad they ran forward, my vision flickered, spots dancing before my eyes.

My stomach was pulsing with waves of white-hot, vicious pain, and I retched up blood.

Cas was moving towards the maenad now, but it pulled me up by my hair, and I couldn't even cry out as it tugged on it.

I didn't need to feel the steel against my neck to know he wouldn't be able to move fast enough.

I was dying anyway; this would just shorten the process.

"Odette! No!"

I could hear them calling for me, but I didn't have the will to fight.

Not anymore.

What was the point?

Death seemed almost like mercy right now.

Castiel was almost there, but it would be over in a second.

At least it would be fast.

Sorry, Cas, I raised my head to look at him one last time.

I don't think you can save me this time.

I stared the monster in the face as the knife swung in a slow arc down to my neck.

"NO!" Three voices yelled in unison, but I was too far gone.

I felt the blade bite into my neck, and closed my eyes.

At that point, it was better than living anyway.

And then the maenad screamed.

Castiel hadn't moved a muscle.

What had once been a normal human girl was flung sideways by an invisible force.

She bounced off of the cold stone floor.

I blinked hazily, the air was collecting into something almost…. human.

But I could feel my strength ebbing away, slowly seeping out of my veins, and I slumped forward in my own blood.

Someone caught me gently as I fell, and I looked up tiredly, expecting to see Sam or Dean.

I froze as I stared at him, mouth falling open in shock.

"Jared?"

~Supernatural~

Cas, Dean and Sam stiffened as the ghost of the fourteen-year-old boy I loved propped me up carefully.

He smiled slightly, cupping my cheek in his hand.

"Hey, chiquita. It's been some time."

I blinked furiously, my vision was failing, but I couldn't stand not seeing his face.

I flung my arms around his neck, uncaring of the fact that it made my stomach flare in agony.

What did it matter?

I wasn't going to be breathing much longer.

"How…" I couldn't speak as the blood filled my mouth.

"Am I here?" Jared finished.

I dimly noticed Castiel stabbing the maenad with the dagger, but I didn't care.

Nothing mattered except the boy holding me together.

Jared huffed a laugh.

"How could I leave you here on your own?"

"Especially," Jared scowled at Dean. "Considering who you're with."

I wanted to defend Cas and Sam, at least, tell him they'd all saved my life more times than I could count, but I just didn't have the strength to speak.

I spat out more blood.

"You were supposed to go," I whispered, stupidly, insanely angry.

"Not stick around here just for me!"

Jared ignored me, walking away from the black altar.

"You know, they told me I'd be better off away from here," He said softly, holding my head back so I could breathe.

"But you were all I ever wanted. Why would my dying ever change that?"

Against his chest, the tears spilled over.

"I'm so sorry," I choked out.

"I love you, and I couldn't do anything to save you. I'm so sorry."

"You were supposed to stay with Sarah, grow up. You wanted to go to Harvard, and now…"

Nothing left but memories.

"Hey," Jared frowned.

"Listen to me. It wasn't your fault. It was never your fault. You did what you had to do."

I shook my head.

He sighed.

"I'd forgotten how stubborn you were. That's part of why I love you, of course," Jared's arm encircled my waist.

"But you have to stop it. Think about how many people I killed, Odette. I sucked them dry, I couldn't control myself. If you hadn't shot me, I'd have murdered more."

I could see the anguish in his eyes, and I touched his face with trembling fingers.

"It wasn't your fault," I echoed his words.

Again, he didn't listen.

"I kept my promise, Odette," Jared's eyes were heavy on mine.

"It's time you kept yours."

The tears mixed with my blood.

"It's too late, Jared, I'm going to die. What's the point, anyway?"

I laughed bitterly.

"What's the point of living when you're dead?"

Jared's finger ran across my lips.

"Ssh, you'll live. You're strong enough to go on without me."

He was wrong.

We'd almost reached them now.

Dean instantly reached out to take me, freezing as Jared glared at him.

He eyed Sam quizzically as he stepped forward, drawing me away.

Jared turned to Castiel.

"Can you heal her?"

Castiel nodded silently.

"What? No!"

Panic set in, and then I was clutching air as Jared let Cas catch me by my shoulders.

"Promise me you'll take care of her," Jared locked gazes with Castiel.

"I promise," Cas held his eyes, clamping a hand down on my neck, effectively stopping the bleeding.

"Jared!"

He smiled at me sadly.

"Your family's waiting. It's time you let me go, Odette."

Jared kissed me lightly once, and I struggled in Castiel's implacable hold as he stepped away from me.

"No!"

"Goodbye, Odette. Don't forget me."

The tears streamed down my face as the one boy, who even in death had managed to save me, disappeared from my life.

Again.

I screamed his name out into the night.

~Supernatural~

I could hear Castiel's calm voice in the other room as I huddled in my bed.

My stomach still hurt, though not as much as before.

Cas had seen to that.

"I've healed most of her injuries," He said.

"But the spell was powerful. She's going to need time to recover."

Time.

I had all the time in the world, and the one person who'd made it worthwhile was gone.

For good.

I stared at the blank wall, trying not to feel, not to think.

It didn't work.

I remembered Cas' inability to feel.

Must be nice.

Sam walked in, kissing the top of my head gently.

"Get some sleep," He whispered before leaving.

Sam always knew when I needed to be alone.

Dean, however, wasn't that perceptive.

We looked at each other in silence.

"Just because you shot your boyfriend in the head doesn't mean we stop doing what's right!"

"Kid, I'm so sor-"

That did it.

Anger flooded over me, instinctive and strong.

I vaulted off the bed, not caring that the room was spinning around me.

I shoved him back roughly.

Dean jerked in surprise.

"Save it, Dean," I spat out, pushing him away.

"I don't want anything from you."

A lie, but he didn't need to know that.

"I didn't mean-"

I resisted the urge to punch him in the face.

"You know what?" I tried to subtly hang onto the table for support.

"I'm done. I've been bending over backwards trying to be nice to you, but it's just not working, is it?"

I glowered at him, failing to keep my voice down.

"You're just an arrogant prick, Dean, and the only thing you know how to do is hurt people!"

I knew it was a low blow, but I was so angry I didn't care.

Dean let me yell at him, and that surprised me, but I continued anyway.

The words chafed in my still sore throat, but I forced them out.

"If you had even an ounce of respect for me, Dean, let alone anything else, you would never have said that!"

I banged the door in his face, collapsing against it in tears.

~Supernatural~

Days passed.

I thought I was ready to start on cases again, but Cas refused, and Sam was only too happy to go along with him.

I still hadn't talked to Dean, and tensions were running high.

I knew it was unfair to make Sam choose between his brother and me, but I wasn't ready yet.

I heard the door swing open, and sighed.

This was the third time he'd come to check.

"I'm fine, Sam, really."

He coughed quietly.

"I'm not Sam."

I obstinately kept my back to him.

"What do you want, Dean?" I asked tiredly. "Haven't you done enough?"

He sat down next to me heavily.

"I'm sorry, Bambi, I really am. I had no right to say that to you, it just-"

"Slipped out?" I finished bitterly.

Dean nodded to himself.

"Look, I know I've been a bit of a di-"

I snorted loudly, and Dean stopped, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"A huge jerk to you," Dean amended.

"And if you don't want anything to do with me, I guess I can't blame you. It just gets too much sometimes, you know?"

Dean shrugged.

"This life, constantly having to make choices where you have to kill innocent people, it gets to you, you know? I just wanted to set things straight."

I bit my lip.

The bedsprings squeaked as Dean got up.

"Right. Sorry, Odette."

"Wait!" I called out as he reached for the doorknob.

Dean turned around.

"I'm sorry, too," I paused. "I shouldn't have said what I did, either."

"So," I held out my arm. "Truce?"

Dean's hand closed around mine.

"Truce."

And then came the Dean I knew and loved.

"We're not going to have to hug or anything, are we?"

~Supernatural~

I clutched Jared's photo in my hand, tracing my fingers across his sunny, playful smile.

I knew I'd never see it again.

"He was right."

I spun around to stare at Cas.

"About what?" My voice cracked.

"You do have a family. Isn't that worth living for?"

I fought the impulse to look away as Cas gazed at me intensely.

I stared at his picture again.

"Why'd he have to die, Cas? Why'd I have to kill him?"

Castiel sounded a thousand years old as he answered me.

"Because it broke you, Odette. That's what they wanted all along."

He stayed with me as I buried my head in my hands and sobbed.

The tears dripped onto Jared's carefree face.