"Maria! You scared us to death!" shouted my madre.
"Anita told us you'd be home for dinner! Where did you go? You shouldn't be wandering off alone!" said my padre.
"Lo siento Padre!" I insist, "I'm alright. I was at Doc's store. I needed to pick up something for my headache. I feel much better now."
"Next time Inca and Tio go with you!" My madre won't be dissuaded now that she's made her mind.
I sigh; I am sick everyone being so overprotective of me. I can take care of myself. I had prevented a potential fight after all.
"We've already lost Bernardo. I couldn't bear to lose you, not after Chino's arrest," Madre says embracing me.
"What Chino did was wrong, Madre." I can't be silent anymore. I have to tell the truth.
My madre slowly steps away from me. "That's not the point! The point is to stay away from those Jets! You hear me? Don't insult Bernardo's memory!"
"I'm not—it's just that…"
"Què?" adds my padre, "If you have something to say, out with it!"
I stand up straighter. "I do have something to say."
My parents watch me intently. I had never acted this way before them.
"Chino killed a boy called Tony. It doesn't matter to me that he was once a Jet. I love him. I always will and nothing either of you say will end my feelings for him."
"Eso americano…"
"He cared for me, Padre," I plead to him, "He really did! It didn't matter to him that I'm Puerto Rican. He loved me for the person that I am. I would never have married Chino!"
My padre looks like he has the urge to slap me. I don't budge; I meet his eyes full on. Doubt creeps in anyway. Should I really tell them about the baby? What would they do? I can't bear to think of it. I need Anita here. I can't do this without her.
"Anita has something to say too. Por favor, can I ask for her?"
"Si," my madre nods, probably wondering if Anita has a confession to say about her and Bernardo.
Anita surveys the tense scene in the room as she enters with me into my family's appartment. I take her hand in mine as a refuge for the incoming storm.
"Anita? What is the meaning of this?" My madre looks stern the way Anita did after she had discovered that Tony had spent the night.
Anita calmly wraps her black shawl closer around herself. "I loved Bernardo and I understand how Maria feels. She is seeking your forgiveness."
"Por què?
Anita's eyes meet mine as if urging me to tell them the truth. She wraps her arm around my shoulder pulling me closer. I know it's time.
"Madre, I'm pregnant."
A tense silence sinks in on the room. My madre sinks into a nearby chair, shaking her head at my shamefulness.
My padre breaks the silence. "You have betrayed us." His eyes fix on me. "You have thrown away your virtue, all your chances for security and happiness!"
I had foreseen this, but I was Tony's wife—we had made precious vows. He had also become my family.
"Padre, lo siento, but I won't let prejudice get in the way of my feelings. I have forgiven myself. Now I ask for yours."
My padre won't answer me; he is stone silence. He leaves the room without another word to any of us.
"This is the very thing we prayed wouldn't happen to you here," sighs my madre, tears in her eyes. "Not until you were married. You have disgraced our family!"
I shake my head at her painful words. "I never meant to bring this upon you. Tony and I made vows. He wanted to have a family with me. If he was here, he would be taking care of me. He'd want to make sure nothing happens to the baby."
My madre won't meet my eyes either. She only waves her hand to shoo me away. "Leave me."
Before I can say anymore, Anita ushers me into my room. She wraps her shawl around me. The tears I have been holding in all day finally burst forth.
"Anita, I don't know what to do. Tell me what I should do."
Anita holds me close like a big sister. "Believe me Maria, I've done some things with Bernardo I'd rather not tell your parents. You are a lot braver."
A sudden laugh escapes me. Anita's firey spirit hasn't been quenched after all. It's still buried somewhere in her shared grief.
"Sometimes it's better just to let some things be," she murmurs in my ear, "We can't always change the way people feel—no matter how much we may love them."
Without Anita, I don't know who else I can turn to for comfort. She kisses my forehead.
"I'll be right next door, Maria."
"Muchos Gracias, Anita."
She leaves me alone to be in peace. I couldn't be far more from it. Sinking to my knees, all my remaining strength leaves me. I wonder if my parents will ever speak to me again. Opening my window, healing night air rushes through me. Stepping out gingerly onto the fire escape, a rush fills me. I can run away now—leave everything behind! Where would I go? Baby John's place? The Sharks would hold it against me.
"Tony," I whisper to the night, "Wherever you are, I hope you are peace. I miss you…"
Tears prevent me from saying anymore. My hands move to my belly as if reaching toward the breathing life within. A smile breaks the darkness of my despair. I remember the words of my vow. Tony's words whisper to my heart.
"Make of our lives one life…Not even death can part us now."
"Yes Tony," I reply, "Life carries on. There's still so much to be done!"