I do not own Naruto! Or any of the music in this fanfic! I will do my best to cite my music sources in the end of the chapters in the A/N! I do, however, own the OC's.
I grinned as I walked back into the hideout. My mother was now behind our very own prisoner cell bars, my baby wasn't all the way inside me, but I still had my friends throughout the ninja world.
"Sarah," Orochimaru said calmly. "I performed a small experiment to ensure our daughter's safety. She is now inside of a surrogate mother, and you are to go to the upcoming Chunin exams."
"I – what?" I gasped, staring at him. "You put our daughter inside another woman so you could send me to the Chunin exams?"
"Someone has to meet up with my spies in Kiri, Kumo and Iwa," he retorted. "And it's far past time for you to show me your other pets, and advance in rank.
I stared at Kurenai, Asuma, Kakashi and Guy as they talked to each other about the upcoming exams.
"We can't trust her!" Kakashi growled. "Think about it. She's good with doppelgangers and uses them to master jutsus. Let's say she creates three hundred clones to work on jutsu, and uses about fifty clones per jutsu. That's seven jutsu in one day alone counting the one that she masters with her real body! Now, let's say that she does that every day for a week. That's forty-nine jutsu in a week, that's a hundred and ninety-six in a month!"
"Even Orochimaru doesn't have that many jutsu!" Kurenai snapped angrily.
"My point exactly! If he takes over her body, he'll get more and more jutsu! She's even been creating jutsu! She lives with Orochimaru, Kurenai! She's bound to betray everybody!" Kakashi argued.
"That's where I think you're wrong, Kakashi!" Guy said affectionately. "Three hundred clones – now think, not all of them are for ninjutsu. She could be using one hundred for ninjutsu, one hundred for genjutsu, one hundred for taijutsu, and the real body could alternate every day."
"That's still a lot of growth, Guy," Asuma pointed out. "By now she's probably Jonin rank."
"Then why is she just now taking the Chunin exams?" Sakura asked confused as she walked in, having only heard the last sentence.
"Because she's just now rooted herself to one specific village – the Sound, to be precise," Kakashi explained like she was an idiot. "Orochimaru's main village. For all we know, he has another spy here and is using her to communicate with said spy!"
"Hey, guys," Neji said worriedly as he walked up, "you do realize that Denina-san is back in the village, right?"
"Thanks for the warning," I muttered, and vanished in a small puff of smoke.
I smiled more broadly as my doppelgangers gave me more information from their various locations throughout Konoha. Kakashi and Guy were right – I'd been using doppelgangers to help with my training. Two hundred jutsu so far in my short training as a ninja, and was somewhat better at Taijutsu and Genjutsu. I'd been using four hundred doppelgangers instead of two hundred like they'd calculated. At the end of every day, however, I was exhausted to the point of Orochimaru carrying me indoors and back to bed. My training regimen was extremely strict, and I was on a higher level than most Chunin, but lower than most Jonin.
I grinned, and dispersed a bunshin out to the three kunoichi who weren't medics. They saw them, alerted their teammates (to which Neji already knew by my chakra signature nearby), and the genin all began tracking me in an attempt to find me. As soon as the ten of them were gathered at the building of the Chunin exams, I dispersed the bunshin. Sighing in boredom, I began looking around and watched as shinobi from a myriad of different countries come in three by three. I'd been sitting in the testing room since eight in the morning, just waiting for something interesting to happen.
"Sarah-san?" Lee asked as he and the other eight I knew from Konoha walked in. I stared at him and grinned as I watched a trio from the grass walk in from behind him - a trio I knew that Orochimaru was impersonating with help from a couple Otonin, and that Kabuto was probably at home with Akuma and our new surrogate mother.
"Lee-san," I greeted warmly in recognition. "Daisuke-san, Katamaru-san."
"Sarah-san," Katamaru and Daisuke said in unison. "Nice to see you're still alive after that last attack about a year ago," Daisuke said menacingly, not realizing I was one of Orochimaru's special ones.
"Don't worry, Daisuke-san," I grinned, "I'll be sure to throw everything I've got at you in the forest of death."
"Second time through?" Neji asked, and I grinned.
"First - I've got my little birdies," I said sweetly, and Ibiki arrived in the same loud fashion as he had in the show.
"You, Sound! No getting violent without the proctor's permission! Especially you, Denina!"
"Screw you, Ibiki! I can twirl your jutsu and interrogators in circles of confusion if I wanted to!" I yelled across the room, and two of the Chunin actually had to hold him back to keep him from attacking me.
I couldn't read jack of what they were writing on the test, so I used sound like Dosu had to figure out the answers and characters, and Katamaru was slipping me an answer or two from across the room using a telepathic jutsu he'd discovered. I grinned as I got my own answers from around the room - I'd set up invisible doppelgangers throughout the room to keep an eye on the two Chunin with all the answers. When I was in between questions or done, I flipped my test over and began writing in jumbled Katakana how the others were cheating.
Hyuga Neji & Hinata - Byakugan; Aburame Shino - beetle; Inuzuka Kiba - Akamaru (ninken); Ino - mind transfer; Akimichi Choji - Ino transfers into him; TenTen & Lee - mirrors on ceiling; Sakura - ?, probably looking around; Daisuke - hand movements of others; Katamaru - ninja animals in clothing; Me - You'll have to catch me! 3
I yawned, lay my head on the desk, and was out like a light until my neighbor nudged me awake for the final question. I stared at Ibiki as he gave it out - the same one he'd given Naruto last time.
"I give up!" I saw a small amount of ninja say in variants, and they and their teammates were escorted out of the room.
"You gave that question during the last Chunin exam, you dumbass bastard," I yelled out as some of the others from other villages were about to leave. "He's rigged it - if we stay, we pass. If we leave, we fail. You don't believe me then quit, but I worked too hard to get this far to risk it!"
When Ibiki looked around to find no more quitters, he sighed and smiled softly. "You pass!" He announced. Suddenly, Anko burst in through the window once more.
"You passed more this time than the time Uzumaki was here!" She yelled angrily over her shoulder at Ibiki.
"They had help from an expert," Ibiki said looking my way.
"Long time, no see, Anko," I greeted, and her eyes shot open towards me like a deer's in headlights. "Fancy seeing you as the proctor over the second exam, what with that accident during the last exams that you failed to clean up. If I recall correctly, didn't it ensue in a battle of some sort?"
"Sh-shut up!" She stammered, and looked around for Lucifer. Not seeing him, she relaxed visibly. "Your Sensei isn't around to protect you this time around, and you're on my turf now!"
"How ironic that we share a Sensei and yet he'd be willing to kill you for getting in his way, when he'd simply give me something to occupy my time when I do!" I taunted, and she shuddered and glared.
"...Moving on to the second exam!" She said obviously desperate for a change of subject. She led us out to the Forest of Death, and I grinned at the thought of showing Orochimaru my other Pokémon that he hadn't seen yet. "We'll need you to sign these consent forms saying that we aren't responsible for any injuries or deaths that may occur during these exams! You're to gather two scrolls – one of heaven, one of earth – and get to the tower within five day's time."
"Slut," I smirked as I walked past her. "Who are you sleeping with this week? Ibiki? Iruka? Mizuki? Or did your lack of sex life drive you to proctor the exams to sleep with some foreign ninja?"
"You -!" she yelled angrily, and threw a kunai at my face, which I neatly dodged.
"Really? And here I thought proctors weren't supposed to attack the ones they're supervising until after they'd given the all clear signal," I said smugly, knowing that Orochimaru was radiating bloodlust yet again.
"Watch it, kid, or I'll kill you myself," she growled out as she passed me to collect the forms.
"I'll keep the scroll," I told my teammates, and they nodded. Nobody was going to pick a fight with a kunoichi, which they knew, and even they hadn't even seen any of my summoning contracts yet. "I'm the strongest in this trio by far."
I walked over to gate Twenty, ironically the same gate that the previous team of Otonin had had. I glanced over at gate fifteen and found Katamaru staring at my team, more specifically, me. I grinned as I faced forward, knowing my mission for this round wasn't just to steal two scrolls – it was to help my fellow Konoha shinobi advance as well, so I'd need more. The bell sounded, and we raced out of the gates like horses on a racetrack, and I headed straight for a meeting spot for our gate and Katamaru's team that was about halfway through the forest. We reached there within five minutes, and grinned. We headed off, and I spotted a team of Suna ninja a ways off.
"Best not let them catch us," I smiled, performing a summoning jutsu three times fast. "Kuchiyose! Lucifer! Orochi! Korosu!"
My familiar Gengar, Serperior, and Swampert appeared before me, all ready for combat.
"All right, guys. You know the routine – get me a heaven scroll and an earth scroll! Meet me at the tower once you're done!" I ordered, and they raced off. "Now, to find my own prey," I smiled. "Ninja art: Hidden Mist jutsu!"
I snuck up behind three teams of ninja, one rain, one sand, and one mist. I slaughtered them all, taking all three scrolls. Two heaven and an Earth – perfect since I'd had the earth Scroll! I performed my speed jutsu and was back at the meeting point within minutes. I handed Katamaru the spare scrolls, and he raced off. I picked one of my teammates up under each arm, quickly performed the hand signs for super speed once more, and raced off towards the tower. I grinned, knowing that no ninja would ever be able to catch up to me unless they were a Sannin rank or higher.
I landed at the tower, and stared around. No Pokémon in sight. I performed the seals necessary and summoned Phantasm. I nodded, and he transformed into a perfect replica of me, and I told him to tell the others to give their scrolls to Katamaru, the grass ninja, and to tell him to quit the exams. I'd also told him to reveal himself to Katamaru and for the four of them to go home once they were done giving him their scrolls, as well as tell Katamaru to give his spare scrolls to the Rookie nine, and for him to trust Orochimaru more if he should come along. He nodded, and I led my teammates inside. I'd explained the test on the way, and they opened the scrolls unanimously and threw them on the floor.
In a puff of smoke, Kurenai appeared.
"I was wondering when you would pass, but I didn't think it would be this quickly," she said shocked.
"I have my ways," I grinned. "And a ninja never reveals their secrets. I passed, no?"
"Yes, you passed the second exam. Well done," Kurenai said simply. "We'll need the three of you to stay in this tower until it comes time for the next exam."
"No problem," I said shrugging as I headed off to a side bedroom. "Lets us restore our chakra and energy."
Once I was inside and sure that nobody had set trackers on me of any kind, I pulled my mirror out of a sealing/summoning scroll I'd placed on it, as well as a few other things in my bedroom – my python that Orochimaru had won bowling (which I'd christened "Nagini"), my special two-pronged Kunai that Orochimaru had given me for Christmas (to which I'd retaliated by giving him an entirely new set of forbidden jutsu from the Sand), and finally, my special locket that I'd had made with a bracelet on it.
"Show me Orochimaru," I said quietly, and a vague picture of Katamaru showed in its glass. "I knew it. That no-count-good-for-noth-Oh!" I cut off as Daisuke of Iwagakure walked out to meet him.
"The scroll you requested," Daisuke said quietly. "And, the earth scroll?"
"It is yours," Orochimaru smiled. "And your…cousin?"
"Still with the Kirigakure ninja groups," he replied, and Orochimaru smirked as he raced to find his other two jutsu researchers. The second and third ninja spies, the Kirigakure and Kumogakure spies were thrown off guard by a large snake.
"Here, Orochimaru-sama," they said in shock since he'd revealed his face. "The scrolls you requested."
"The heaven and Earth scroll," he explained, tossing it at their feet. "Do as you please with it."
"Show me Mitarashi Anko," I told the mirror, and it glazed over for a few seconds.
"Well, Anko? What am I supposed to be looking at?" Tsunade asked as she stared at my image on the screen. I'd been so careful not to get caught that I'd missed that.
"It's what you don't see, Hokage-sama," Anko replied stiffly, and Tsunade gasped.
"How- the previous record was broken by…an hour… she spent half an hour in the Forest?" Tsunade practically screamed. "And there's not even a scratch on her? What the hell did she think it was - a leisure stroll?"
"I don't know, but she had both scrolls," Anko said wearily. "And that's not all – one of the ANBU saw her summoning three large creatures, then another ANBU saw her summon a fourth at the tower to communicate with the other three. The fourth somehow transformed itself into a perfect replica of her."
"We've got to find and eliminate these creatures before they get loose and destroy the village," Tsunade frowned. "Should we bring her in for questioning, or not, that's my question. What do you think?"
"I think we need to kill her so we don't have to deal with her later," Anko grinned evilly.
"Even if he doesn't experiment on her, if we do that, he'll attack again," Tsunade snapped. "My main concern is why she's here in the first place – I strictly told her no jutsu for a few months and no Chunin exams until next time. What the hell is Orochimaru thinking?"
"Who in this world knows what that damn bastard snake is thinking now, Hokage-sama," Anko sighed. "Should we alert him to her participating in the final rounds?"
"I don't think it wise, but we don't have a choice. Send…Send a messenger hawk over to him," Tsunade said nodding. "We don't want to lose our Chunin."
"Oh, there's no need for that, Tsunade," Orochimaru grinned as he walked in. "I've been here waiting on her the entire time."
"Nice kid, Sensei. You going to ditch it like you did me?" Anko asked angrily.
"Good heavens no! I know you're wondering why she's here, Tsunade. I've put the child inside of a surrogate for Sarah's own safety. Her body was too weak to carry a second so soon after the first," Orochimaru snapped, then smirked. "She seemed to be extremely interested in becoming a Chunin, and I decided to let her try."
"Are you out of your mind? Placing an embryo inside of a separate mother than its biological one? What is wrong with you, you twisted, demented lunatic!" Anko shouted angrily.
"Now, now, Anko, I'm here for the exams. It's a time of peace, need I remind you, and if you attack me, you'll be breaking not one, but two treaties. I'm sure you don't need to be reminded of the second one," he sneered, and Anko grit her teeth in frustration. "Truth be told, I'm quite proud of Sarah's accomplishments. She's come a long way since the scared, terrified, backpack-carrying nomad she was a year ago, eh, Tsunade?"
"Yeah," she sighed. "What ever happened to that little innocent kid? She was so sweet and harmless, and now look at her – blood thirst that rivals yours!"
"It's an acquired taste," he laughed. "She's only blood-thirsty when someone threatens her life or our child."
"Wait, that kid is yours?" Anko screeched. "What kind of teacher sleeps with his protégé?"
"She wasn't acting as my protégé when I slept with her, Anko. She is both my wife and my student, and they wield two completely different roles. And besides that, I raped her when she was on a mission for Konoha – I couldn't resist since Kabuto had overheard her telling Shizune how she'd come from a different world, and I wanted her in my hideouts at all costs."
"To experiment or study behavior?" Anko growled, and Orochimaru held up two fingers as he lifted a snake above a now-crying Akuma. "And what the hell do you think you're doing?"
"He likes them," Orochimaru explained as Akuma stopped crying. "Whenever he starts crying for no reason, Sarah or I will lift a snake above his head and he'll immediately stop. Like so. How's my medic?"
"We're working on her," Tsunade snapped, and I flinched and put the mirror down so I could go to sleep.
I pretty much repeated this routine over the next few days while waiting for the next exam, bored out of my mind. I'd watched Neji and Lee's team reach the tower first, then Ino, Choji, and Sakura. They'd all reacted very amusingly as they saw Orochimaru holding Akuma. He'd been standing around in the hallways, bored, and had leered at Sakura, who had almost raced up to punch him.
"Wait'll I get my hands on that bastard rape by-product of yours!" she yelled angrily as Ino's doppelganger and Choji dragged her away. "Mark my words, that monster will be dead before it reaches puberty!"
"We shall see," Orochimaru leered at her. He turned to the other four rookies, and they all flinched. "And I presume the four of you are going to say something in a like manner?"
"Why did you attack Sasuke?" Ino yelled. "He was finally falling in love with me!"
"Don't delude yourself, girl. Sasuke-kun hated all of his fangirls and wanted them dead – with one exception that was just dragged away," Orochimaru chuckled. "Young love is such a foolish thing. I myself almost fell prey to it – until reality set in that she was off limits."
"Off limits? What kind of Kunoichi is off limits?" Neji asked shocked. "Teammates or Hyuga clan members? Uchiha? Aburame?"
"Senju," Orochimaru retorted. "Your current Hokage, to be exact. I only came to my senses when she almost killed Jiraiya for peeping at the girls' spa. One of the more amusing injuries he received, and I was tempted to sever a few vital parts of his body."
"Wait, like, his – his man parts?" TenTen asked her eyes wide.
"My my, we have a little pervert," Orochimaru smirked. "But, yes. That's what I was referring to."
"What's with the snake?" Lee asked, staring at it.
"It keeps Akuma calm when he wakes up. I guess you could say it's like his version of a crib ornament. It took us a month to figure out what he wanted," Orochimaru laughed as he looked down at Akuma, who had just woken up and started playing with the snake. "And Sarah blames me for making Akuma a daddy's boy – hah! He does that himself, don't you demon?"
"Aah," Akuma gurgled, a very vocal baby. Orochimaru chuckled, and lifted the infant to rest on his shoulder. Bad move.
"Ow," Orochimaru jolted when Akuma began pulling on his earring and hair. "Ow, Akuma, no! Damn it, where's Sarah when I need her? Akuma, no, daddy is not a toy!"
At this point the four genin were about to roll around on the ground bursting with laughter, until another ninja showed up that they recognized – Kabuto.
"Allow me, Orochimaru-sama," Kabuto said as he began to gently pry Akuma's tiny fingers off of Orochimaru's earring. "Might I suggest a different style while Sarah-sama is busy so Akuma-kun doesn't repeat this?"
"Don't patronize me," Orochimaru said as Kabuto finally lured Akuma away with a kunai knife. He switched Akuma over to his opposite arm so he could rub his sore ear. "And don't hold that up to him – it's too dangerous."
Kabuto withdrew his kunai, and Akuma immediately began crying. Orochimaru sighed and rolled his eyes at our son's behavior. I laughed openly, and only Orochimaru didn't jump. Kabuto withdrew Orochimaru's mirror, which was glowing green, then purple, and Orochimaru glared at him.
"Having fun?" Orochimaru growled and I laughed at the same time. "Oh, that's really mature, love. Will you stop that?"
"Holy crap, they're like two peas in a pod," Lee muttered, and Orochimaru turned his glare at him.
"I'll be out in a bit," I told them, and re-sealed the mirror back in my scroll, which would send it home. I used a bobby pin (I came to never leave home without two to five) to pick the lock, and raced out following their chakra signatures.
"Sarah," the six greeted as they stared in shock.
"Hey, guys. Hey, snake," I greeted, taking Akuma off his hands. "How are my big boys today, huh?"
"I'm not your child," Orochimaru scowled.
I sighed, knowing he had a reputation to uphold and wouldn't be returning my affection in public. He never returned my affection in public unless we needed to put off an aura of family dynamics, which was almost never, but when it did happen he showered me with affection to make up for all the other times he couldn't do so in public.
"I know. But you spend so much time studying and experimenting that I feel like I married an overly-obsessed teenager who hasn't matured to his age yet," I said sadly. "Sometimes I wonder how Sarutobi got you to manhood."
"For all you know I did that on my own," Orochimaru snapped. "And I do not over-obsess over studying and experimenting."
"I learned a new jutsu," I smirked.
"Show me," he said quickly, instantly alert. I stared at him, and he relaxed, scowling more than ever. "I never thought I'd see the day when a female would outsmart me. I suppose it's to be expected since I am the one who trained you, though. It's time for the final exams – get to the arena. I'll be watching very closely." He vanished, and I handed Akuma over to Kabuto.
"Keep him safe," I said sorrowfully, and he nodded before leaping away. I led my "Teammates" over to the arena, and listened to the proctors ramble on about the next exam. Orochimaru was standing in front of us disguised as a Jonin, the genius, and the other Jonin and proctors were all staring at us. The scoring board behind them came out of the wall, and I stared as it mixed up names, and it spit out the name of one of my teammates and Neji Hyuga. I wasn't even going to bother rooting for him since I knew Neji would win.
"First two contestants please step forward! Everyone else, please go to the balcony behind you!" Tsunade ordered, and we obeyed. I stared at the two contestants, my teammate shaking.
"I-I don't think I can fight a Hyuga… I -!" he was about to chicken out. I grinned – the only reason they'd stuck through the Chunin exams until now was to make sure I got into the final rounds.
"Don't you dare chicken out! Sensei entered us into these exams because he knew we were ready, not so we could chicken out during preliminary fights!" I heard my other teammate, his twin brother, call out. He nodded, and took a bit of my confidence. Good – I'd need a good fight to keep me entertained.
"I – Fine. I'm in," he growled, but regretted it as soon as the proctor let the match begin. Neji struck my teammates tenketsu, right over the heart like he had with Hinata, and punched my teammates gut until he went flying.
I watched my teammate stumble up, then attack Neji with Sound. Right as Neji began puking his stomach contents out, my teammate vomited blood. This fight was well more than over.
"Hyuga Neji is the victor," Yugao said. Apparently she was the proctor this year since Hayete died last year. "Next up is Hyuga Hinata against Kurusaki, Otomaru."
"I don't want to die like that! I withdraw!" my teammate shouted, fearful of what had happened to his twin.
"You coward!" I yelled and I began punching him ferociously until Orochimaru cleared his throat softly, putting a hand on one of my shoulders and pointing at the scoring board. I'd apparently been punching him for a while, because four ninja were now missing from the stands, not including the two in the arena. I recognized them instantly – Rock Lee and Kirari Kaguya, Kimimaro's cousin.
"I'm warning you – you lost against my cousin, you'll die by me," she growled, and he assumed a fighter's stance. "Very well. Your funeral."
"I will be happy to face you," Lee said smiling. Oh, Lee, you were in for hell.
"Suit yourself. Camellia dance!" she yelled, and she began trying to stab him with a bone sword she'd made like Kimimaro's. Lee began realizing what he was up against once more.
"I'm stronger now than I was then!" he yelled. "Forward Lotus!" he yelled, and raced forward.
Kirari's rib bones were protruding out of her chest, her clothes special made to open and close with her chakra, at her will when she began using bones in combat. Lee stared, and she grinned, her every move calculating. She protruded a bone out of her hand and began weaving hand signs. I knew what that meant – she was going to turn the battlefield into a forest of bones. Sure enough, bones flooded in from outside, the remains of dead animals and people flooding to Kirari, and some even had goop still hanging off of them. Kirari used those bones as the upper part of the dome on Lee's side, the cleaner bones on her side.
When they emerged twenty minutes later, his clothes were barely hanging off of him, and hers were soaked through – making me glad she'd packed a jacket for the road. She and Lee walked back up to join their teammates calmly and she grinned at me, sneaking a bone-made vial corked with a throat bone. I then realized what she'd been doing – she'd trapped him and gotten some DNA from him so we could find the genetic so we could find why he couldn't use ninjutsu or chakra.
"Smart girl," I murmured, and she dismissed all of the bones to the outside of the arena as I snuck the vial to Orochimaru's shuriken holster, which usually remained empty for that sole reason.
"Kaguya Kirari is the winner!" Yugao announced, and I jumped down there.
"Don't keep me waiting," I growled, bloodthirsty and bored. There were only three others aside from myself that had to fight now. I felt like Gaara when he was bloodthirsty. I wanted a fight, and I was willing to kill to get it.
"Haruno, Sakura," Yugao announced, and Ino flinched.
"Heh, more fun for me. Let's see who wins, Sakura-san – a battle between the students of two different members of the Sannin trio. Should we get started?" I grinned, giving away who my mentor was.
"Orochimaru," she gasped, barely audible, and I nodded.
"Yes, he was my mentor after I left the leaf, and was extremely adamant and strict about it. I was never allowed a break until I got pregnant," I told her, and the others gasped, wondering why I was even there if I had a child. "You see, I've got a bit of a personal nanny to help me with the baby since Sensei is so strict. She has never betrayed my trust, and is more than happy to help me since I'm like the sister she's never had. Show me what you can do, Sakura. Show me the power of the Legendary Slug Queen, and I'll show you the power of the Legendary Snake King."
"No – Proctor!" Sakura objected, and Yugao shook her head. "Can't she be disqualified?"
"For being the student of a Sannin? That would disqualify both of us, Sakura-san," I taunted, and she stared at me in fear. "But don't worry – I'll go easy on you for your precious Sasuke's sake. After all, he so desperately pines after you nowadays. I'd almost say he was ready to begin a new training regimen for it!"
"You leave Sasuke-kun out of this!" she yelled angrily, and began punching the ground, breaking up the arena.
"Now we're talking!" I grinned. "Let's get you a friend who can't get hit by ground moves, shall we?"
I weaved the hand signs, and prepared to summon. Sakura mirrored me.
"Kuchiyose!" we yelled in unison, and I yelled out "Phantasm!"
Rrrriaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrgh!Oh, Phantasm recognized her, but it was just too bad. Sakura's summoning turned out to be a giant slug. Eyew, talk about disgusting.
"Phantasm, Taunt, Leer, and Shadow Claw!" I yelled, and we dodged to avoid the Slug's slime. Sakura went to punch him, but flinched when he began transforming into a perfect replica of Orochimaru. He glared at her, scaring her once more and used shadow claw, producing Kunai to represent his claws.
I began weaving and circling the slug, trying to figure out how to get rid of it. It would have been a poison type, but I didn't have any Psychic type moves available! I sighed in exasperation, and then recalled something Orochimaru had said: If you're ever fighting Tsunade or one of her apprentices, avoid their attacks. If they summon, you summon. If you're outmatched when it comes to summoning, take down first one, then the other.
"Change of plans – Flame Charge in my direction!" I yelled, and he obeyed, surrounding himself in fire and racing towards the slug. I avoided him, and let him fight the slug while I fought the pinkette. I weaved hand signs, eager to get going, and then froze as I saw her begin sobbing.
"If I withdraw, will you send Sasuke-kun back?" She whispered as I froze my fist next to her face.
"He won't be coming back until every bone in his body has been broken at least once," I told her, and it was the truth. At the rate he was going, all of his bones will have been broken before he's done with training. "That's not my decision anyways – it's the men's."
"Kill me," she whispered, and I smiled softly.
"Nah," I said. "However, I will be doing this!" I raised my kunai and put a shallow gash in her throat. She gasped, and began healing it immediately. I let her heal, and then grinned as I began opening more wounds along her body.
"Stop!" she screamed, and I headed behind her, pretending to be much slower than I really was. I kicked her back harshly, and held up her head by her hair, holding my knife to her throat.
"Do you really love Sasuke?" I asked, and she began sobbing. "I'll take that as a yes. Give me a fight worth enjoying and I'll talk to him about coming back. Deal?"
"Deal," she said firmly, and I leapt away from her. I let her land a few blows to make it even, and I heard a sickening crunch as she broke my right leg.
I couldn't help but burst out laughing at the irony of it all. My left ankle and right wrist had been sprained numerous times over before I was a ninja. I'd broken my left arm when I was seven, and now my right leg had broken in the exact manner that my left arm had been. I'd made an "X" with my injuries, something I'd always found amusing whenever I thought of it happening for some strange reason.
"Now this is fun!" I grinned, and I backhanded her jaw. I limped over, and performed a few rapid hand signs that would allow me to partway heal myself. I'd been taking lessons from Kabuto on the side when he'd wanted to show me a few medical jutsu to help me during the Chunin exams.
She punched me in the gut, the last place I wanted to be kicked.
I curled up in a ball of pain and anger, my blood boiling. I began breathing heavily and trying to get up. It hurt like hell to have that sore spot punched, much more since it was by someone with inhuman strength. I let my mind wander back to the day I'd met Orochimaru put his foot there and I'd touched his ankle in pure ecstasy.
"You'll pay," I murmured, and she turned around in shock. I was breathing heavily, and my gut felt like it was on fire, but I knew that it was now or never.
I leapt sideways with my left leg, and began using doppelgangers to maneuver quicker. She was glaring at me as I was in the air. She didn't like it because it was out of bounds for her – her super-strength had no effect on open air. I grinned as some of the Jonin's brows furrowed in confusion at the mayhem we heard exploding nearby. I'd sent my doppelgangers around Konohagakure and set up smoke bombs in various locations. The smoke would be in the shape of flower petals to distract any and all ANBU members, Chunin, and Jonin, and when they would arrive to the bomb locations, all that would be left was a small pile of Sakura blossoms in the place of each bomb. I laughed aloud at the irony of it all. Orochimaru shook his head, chuckling in amusement at the prank I'd told him that was unfolding upon Konoha.
"What are you laughing about, you maniac?" Sakura yelled angrily.
"How much of a bitch you are – you pine after men who left the village, but ignore the men in front of you!" I retorted, still snickering and snorting.
"You're wrong! Sakura-san is an angel in human clothing! I will run five thousand laps around the training yard for her since I have lost my fight!" Lee yelled angrily, and Guy and Neji had to hold him back physically to keep him from intervening in the fight, like they had to do in the drunken state.
"Yeah, five hundred laps around the village to get her in your bed!" I retorted, and most of the ninja in the room gawked or made gagging noises at my joke, while Orochimaru sighed and my teammate busted up laughing. "What are you going to do to get her to marry you? Rape her?"
"You take that back!" Sakura yelled angrily.
An ANBU's chakra flared, and a fire consumed her body for a few minutes. Sakura kept racing and trying to punch my lights out, and I kept dodging agilely. Phantasm was getting tired, and I decided to help him out. I dodged in front of the slug, and Sakura hit it, sending it back to the world it had come from. Two-to-one, this I liked. I was tired, and my leg was throbbing and swollen, so I quickly grabbed my spare bandana to wrap it tightly around my leg to keep the swelling from getting worse.
"I'd love to see you make me," I grinned, and performed a multiple doppelganger technique. My doppelgangers and I dodged her attacks, and I quickly stepped into her line of fire purposefully, but not expecting what was about to happen.
She grabbed my arms and yanked backwards like Sasuke had Zaku in the forest of death, tearing my arms off. I let out a short yell of pain, and then began preparing for a new jutsu that Orochimaru had taught me. He'd taught me how to shed my skin, and Sakura's foot had broken the lower part of my back. I opened my mouth as I fell, and willed myself to become a snake to slither out of it. I was a giant snake that would have killed me if I'd been in my throat, but I was alive. It was the same jutsu Orochimaru used to shed his skin, but modified to fit my needs as someone whose cheeks and jaw couldn't extend like his.
"I'd like to see you fight now, bitch," Sakura growled, not realizing I was alive. "We'll see how Orochimaru likes you now that you don't have arms to grab his penis with!"
"Who says I grab his male parts?" I asked from behind her as I morphed back into a human, my body healed of all broken bones and injuries she'd dealt. It took a lot of chakra out of me, but it was worth it. "You know, you're probably more inappropriate with Sasuke in raping him than Jiraiya with his women that he doesn't even know, and that's saying something since he gets them to orgasm."
"You-You!" she yelled in rage, racing to kill me. I vanished in a puff of smoke, more and more shadow clones appearing. Doppelgangers were everywhere, each one throwing a sex-related taunt out at her. Phantasm vanished in a puff of smoke, exhausted. She exhausted herself destroying my clones, but found the arena deserted as I invisibly crept up behind her.
"Miss me?" I asked, showing myself as I stabbed her back, creating devil wings out of it. She flipped over in pain, and I thrust my kunai into each shoulder. "Pity that Sasuke can't be in this position, isn't it? Well, don't worry; I'm sure you'll be reunited with him one day once he dies! That is, of course, unless you withdraw from the match…"
"Never," she spat, and punched my face, which I neatly dodged at the last second. I leapt back and went back to my perch atop the hands around the arena.
"Not bad," I commended. "But let's see how you handle this!" I weaved hand signs, feeling nauseated, and leaned down to finish the one snake jutsu that I hadn't mastered yet. It used up a lot of chakra, and my previous meal, but this pinkette was worth it. I began vomiting, snakes coming out of my mouth in all directions, kunai coming out of their mouths.
"Snakes! Student of Orochimaru!" she screamed, and the Jonin rolled their eyes. I'd already said who I was a student of at the beginning, and she feels free to scream it out just now? Wow, how lame could she get? Some of the genin and Chunin still shifted their weight in discomfort.
"I already told you that, dumbass!" I yelled as I finished, and watched her begin dodging the snakes. She punched the ground, taking a few kunai and snake fangs to her left arm, and created a crater that they fell in and couldn't get out of.
"The final blow," she growled.
"Is mine," I breathed, and began preparing the newest form of the Rasengan – I'd created a fire version of it with inspiration and help from Sasuke. It collapsed, my chakra exhausted. "Shit," I hissed angrily, my chakra system still tired and my body out of practice.
"Having problems? Thinking about sex with Orochimaru again? Or is it that he likes to put his tongue in your vagina?" she yelled back, and it was now Kabuto and Ruka's turn to hold Orochimaru back forcibly.
"Relax, Orochimaru-sama," I heard Kabuto hiss under his breath. "She'll get severely injured for it, Sarah-sama can ensure."
"She'd better," Orochimaru growled, and nodded for me to take my weights off. I removed the weights from my legs, and my body felt lighter, and my chakra network less blocked. Orochimaru had insisted that the weights not only weigh me down physically, but with chakra as well. I saluted before dropping them and watching them create explosions the same size as Lee's weights.
I raced forward, copying Lee's move of the primary lotus, and kicked her numerous times with everything I had. I didn't have bandages to wrap her in like Lee, so I used Hidden Snake hands to get the job done for me. I spun in midair, snakes coming off of me at all directions onto the battlefield, and let go at the last minute as she went crashing down into the ground. I knelt down, exhausted, and Sakura got up. Snakes were pouring to me to protect me and to distract Sakura.
"Hey, Sensei? Rap?" I asked, and he grinned as I began dodging and counter attacking in time to the music.
"Yeah my name is Link, man. I'm more well known than Lil' Wayne. Oh, you thought my name was Zelda?" he began as I swung a kunai to my side.
"THAT'S A FUCKING GIRLS' NAME!" both boys yelled with him. (Whenever it's in all caps during songs, he and the backup singers are singing together)
"I've saved the world like fifteen times and saved the princess from demise. And I do it all alone with no help and no advice!" he bragged.
"Hey, look, listen!" my teammate said excitedly like Navi.
"Hey, look, listen you fucking annoying fairy, I'd rather be forced to listen to constant Katy Perry! I think it's time I got some recognition, don't you think? Legend of Zelda?" Sensei continued. "SCREW THAT! Legend of Link!"
"Cause he's the L to the I to the N to the K. Wears tights every day, don't give a damn what you say. Got bigger balls than even Evel Kneivel, and he ain't gonna stop till the world is free of evil!" I sang, more than happy with his choice of songs. I'd been thinking Heroes come back, but okay.
"I'll break all your pots, and I best not hear your bitchin'. I've got the Triforce of Courage, BITCH! SO YOU'D BETTER LISTEN! (That's right!) I'm called a bushwhacker and my bank account's maxed out. Got 999 Rupees and my leather wallet's packed now! Can't back down, can't slack now, the world needs me to attack now; yet, I'm forced to pay out the ass for these bombs in Castle Town. Just give me some heart containers and let me spit in my Ocarina so I can kick that dumbass Gannon all the way to Argentina!" Sakura threw a wall of kunai at me and missed as she realized who my "Sensei" was that was up in the balcony, finally recognizing his chakra.
"Cause he's the L to the I to the N to the K. Wears tights every day, don't give a damn what you say. Got bigger balls than even Evel Kneivel, and he ain't gonna stop till the world is free of evil!" I continued from atop the fingers of the statue, pretending like I'd been captured.
At that point, for some reason or another, Killer Bee joined in the rap, smiling at the beat. He and I had become friends during the exams while I was waiting, I'd explained the legend of Zelda, saying that there was a song about it that I thought he'd like. Out of boredom, I'd taught him the lyrics that Gannon sang.
"Yo, you low-life elf, need a ride up to the North Pole? Santa's got a thing for elves – getting his marriage annulled. You really saving the princess will convince me you're straight? (Ha-hah!) The 'Uggs and Skirt' fad is so 2008!" he rapped, getting used to it and stomping and waving his hand as he joined in.
"Oh, Snap, it's Gannondorf, trying' to jack up my style! Batman's cape, Lincoln's beard - were you dressed by a child? You're a ginger with no soul and you look like a fucking troll! Isn't kidnapping helpless girls getting a little bit old?" Orochimaru retorted immediately.
"You think Zelda's stupid enough to get kidnapped so often? She runs off to my castle, into my room and begs to get locked in. yeah, she's sick of your little Deku nuts and your girly fairy face. L-I-N-K? More like L-I-N-Gay!"
"Man, you should have been aborted, just like the Jersey Shore! It's a damn lie you told about Zelda cause she loves my master sword! It's a shame your whole life's a waste trying to rule Hyrule cause today will be the day known as 'The Day you got schooled'!"
"Cause he's the L to the I to the N to the K. Wears tights every day, don't give a damn what you say. Got bigger balls than even Evel Kneivel, and he ain't gonna stop till the world is free of evil!" I finished from atop the fingers of the statue, and Sakura began gagging at Orochimaru's and my fun as I began moving my right leg and nodding.
"You sick bitch!" she yelled as she got a grip and began swaying. I smirked, throwing a poisoned kunai in her direction that lodged itself in her left shoulder.
I dodged behind her and pulled her arms out of their sockets. I knew it was only a matter of time before she collapsed and started choking. She stepped forward wearily a few times, more than just pissed off. I smirked, and the agonizing scream that followed my yanking the knife across her chest sent chills up my spine.
Orochimaru licked his lips slightly, a sign to end the battle before he got bloodthirsty.
I grinned, and lifted Sakura up. "You do realize that you'll die if you don't get the antidote to that poison into your system?" I asked, and the Jonin's eyes widened. "I laced it with poison and feces from cell prisoners in the Sound, not to mention the insides of failed experiments of Orochimaru-sama's."
"What?" she yelled in shock, and I nodded.
"Thing is, you'll need the antidote and a round or two of antibiotics before the day's out. The faster you quit, the more likely it is that I'll convince Sasuke to come back to Konoha," I told her, and she immediately raised her hand.
"I, Haruno Sakura, withdraw from this exam!" she blurted quickly, and I smirked and busted up laughing.
"Wow! For the record, he won't be coming back until someone drags his half-dead body back to Konoha inside a sealing scroll and without chakra!" I laughed, plopping onto the ground behind me on my butt in amusement.
"Raaaaaaaaaaaaah!" Sakura screamed in rage, pulling out a kunai and leaning forward to kill me.
Suddenly a tornado of fire surrounded her, forcing her to stay still so she wouldn't get burned. Orochimaru and the Snake ANBU landed in front of me, and the Konoha Jonin recognized her signature jutsu. They leapt down and intervened, ready to fight to the death to protect Sakura.
"You know, Sakura would part her legs for anyone who had the Sharingan, I'd bet," I smirked, and Orochimaru shot me a warning glare to shut up. "Just saying."
"Denina Sarah is the victor by Sakura's withdrawal!" Yugao announced, and the ANBU dropped her jutsu as she and Orochimaru led me back upstairs. I smirked and laughed as Sakura was led away by the medics, screaming, kicking and fighting the entire way until someone injected some morphine into her.
"Final challengers please step forward," she said, and Killer Bee grinned as his final student stepped forward to face off with one of the mist ninja.
"I advise you to withdraw now," our spy said warningly, and the mist ninja grinned. "Or I'll be forced to kill you."
"No way," he smirked. "It'll be you who's dead."
"Begin!" Yugao yelled, jumping back.
"Ninja art: Thousand Needles of Death!" our spy said as he threw an umbrella filled with needles inside above him. The umbrella shot the needles out and they came at the Kirigakure genin from all directions.
"Nice try!" the genin said as he whipped a shield of ice around himself. Orochimaru flinched, and licked his lips ever so slightly.
"Found one you like?" I whispered, and he nodded. I put my arms on the railing and glared at the spy to tell him to withdraw. He looked at me, and narrowed his eyes to let me know he'd understood.
"Combine her with the Sharingan and you'd have an elite ninja," my teammate said. I glared at him angrily over my shoulder, and he shut his yap.
"We'll see who's elite ninja material!" the Kirigakure ninja said as he performed water whips towards our spy. He'd wrapped one around our spy's throat and mouth, then his nose. He began wrapping him in the water, and I flinched. "If you don't withdraw, I'll crush your bones one by one!"
"Never!" the spy yelled, and the ninja made a notion like Gaara's, and the water crushed the boy's left arm and leg while leaving his face. "I withdraw! I withdraw!"
"What I thought," the Kirigakure ninja smirked. This kid was one who I wanted on my team next year, which was for sure.
"Thus concludes our preliminary rounds. Will the winners please come forward?" Tsunade asked, and we all complied. I may have been the only Otonin, but they all avoided me like I was insane. Guess that's what I get for acting like a crazy monkey on crack in the middle of a fight.
"Draw a number – only one – and we will determine the order of your fights in the final rounds," Yugao announced, and I grinned. We all looked at our numbers, and stared at my luck – seven. "They're all yours, Lady Hokage."
"Wait, their new Hokage's a girl?" my teammate asked incredulously.
"Shut your yap, Otomaru," I yelled up to him. "I'm trying to listen to the Hokage!"
"Thank you, Sarah," Tsunade said stiffly, her brow furrowed. "The final exams won't take place now. Rather, they'll be in a month so you kids can rest, recover, relax, train – do whatever you little squirts want within the legal limits. We call this the requisite preparation period. This allows us to contact the shinobi leaders of the various nations and for you to train some more."
"So you're saying we need to prepare to understand ourselves and our enemies," I said firmly, cutting to the chase, recalling what the old man had said after the preliminaries. I'd grinned, knowing that Orochimaru would be quite happy that I put summoning tags on the inside of all of my Naruto Volumes that I'd bought. He'd put tags inside of Volumes I'd needed, and they arrived at our home, but were never paid for with money. It was my Naruto Volumes that I got my knowledge from, Orochimaru knew, and he'd kept a close eye on them once he saw Sasuke eyeing them.
"Essentially, yes," Tsunade nodded. "I can see why you've become top kunoichi in your year – you're as sharp as a tack, and your fighting style is as well. Unorthodox, but well played. Not everyone can defeat my apprentice."
"One Sannin apprentice could easily outmatch another in the various tests, but never one single students at all of the tests," I chirped, happy that Tsunade was complimenting me, but also feeling crestfallen.
I'd really wanted her praise from Orochimaru, but he'd only praised me for my jutsu abilities and hormone-based activities. He hadn't even complimented me on childbirth, and that had almost killed me! I sighed, knowing that if I was ever going to get Orochimaru's praise, it would be in a day and age where I, too, was immortal, and never once caring about my birth clan. I felt his chakra in the room, and it wasn't happy at all. Point proved right there, I grumbled mentally. All he cares about is the exams being over so he can get me back in bed with him. I love him, but he's so cruel sometimes…Although, his extremely rare affectionate public displays are almost worth it…
"Heh, if you'll rejoin us, Sarah," Tsunade said loudly, and I looked up at her with my eyes, my head still down. "Good enough. We're giving you this one month to rest and recover, as well as to train. Before now, you were fighting an unknown enemy, but now you know what the others can do. In fact, some of you may have even flaunted everything in front of your opponents. Your fights will be in one month's time. Well then, good work, and good luck everyone! You're dismissed until one month's time is up!"
"Hokage-sama!" I said, approaching her.
"No, Sarah, I'm not training you," she snapped before walking away.
"I was going to ask where the best place to be alone was," I said quietly. "To meditate. But seeing as you don't even trust me anymore…" Orochimaru may not be allowed to attack Konohagakure, but I can! I thought bitterly. No wonder he hated it – they were so cold to those who were outsiders. This entire world was cold, I was beginning to regret coming here. The one group of people that I wanted to notice, trust, and praise me never did.
"Uchiha compound," she replied, and I stared after her.
"Thanks," I grinned, ready to put my plan into action. I raced off, knowing that Sasuke would be hiding there if he'd come. But thankfully, he hadn't, so I wasn't in any danger or trouble. I walked in, and stared at what was before me. Twelve ANBU black ops were waiting for me, glaring at me.
"Who are you? And what are you doing in the Uchiha compound?" one of them spat angrily.
"Leaf's tribute to Sound in exchange for peace. If you idiots don't mind, I'd like to be meditating. I need to relax," I retorted, and sat down on the floor to do so.
"Get out," one of the males spat. "You're not welcome here. You're an otonin, you have no right to be in Konohagakure!"
"I'm in the Chunin exams, so suck it up you oversized crybaby," I snapped. "I swear, you're all the same."
"You little!" one of the ANBU spat, but the Snake ANBU was hot on my heels.
"At ease, soldiers," she snapped, and they immediately went out of their military salute. "Leave her be – I'm keeping an eye on this one, myself."
"Lady Snake, your injuries," one of them said, but she cut them off.
"Are years old! Now get out before I make you sops clean up the dead bodies in the forest of death!" she yelled, and they fled.
"What do you want?" I asked, and she sat down.
"To talk," she said simply, handing me a manila envelope.
Ninja Profile of the Newcomer:
Name: Ruka – Commander of the KMP Age: 30 Rank: ANBU Jonin Animal: Snake Element: Wind & Fire – Poison Her team of permagenin – brutally murdered – she lived – nobody knows how or why but every nerve in her body was severed – everything touching or chakra hurts her – Someone gently taps her on the shoulder Long brown hair – 1st hokage's color
Eventually goes rogue because of evidence destruction from her students' murder, and isn't sure of Konoha anymore – runs to Sound and becomes surrogate for Sarah. Favorite Jutsu – Fire Style: Flame Vortex – uses wind to swirl the flames into a tornado & can't be put out by water, but ice would work
1st non-Uchiha KMP that turned the KMP into something scary
Song that Sarah & Orochimaru rapped is SMOSH's Zelda Rap. Look it up on youtube, I don't own it in any way, shape or form.