"It has been one week now. The test subject is progressing as expected. Santana has a second date tonight with Mindy from our Interpretive Dance Class. Or as I like to call her 'the whore who hogs all the spotlight.' Santana made a full date without bringing up this girls lazy eye although I'm secretly hoping she will slip up and finally ask what this girl keeps looking at. Just my luck I'm training Santana to be a civil girlfriend and she decides to use her new skills to date my nemesis. I don't know how I feel about hearing about this date later, for various reasons actually. I've decided to express my feelings in song..." Just then Rachel's concentration is broken by a loud pounding at the door.
"Rachel what the hell? You've been in the bathroom for over a half hour. I have to finish getting ready."
Rachel turned off her recorder just as Santana burst the door open to find Rachel sitting on the edge of the tub holding a tape recorder.
"What on earth are you doing in here?"
"I'm working on my audio diary. The acoustics are better in here than in my bedroom. I felt this was the best place for optimum performance."
"Why cant you just masturbate in here like everyone else? Scram, I need to do my makeup."
"Fine." Rachel collected her things and began to walk out. At the door she looked over her shoulder. "Do you like her?"
Santana shrugged while applying her eyeliner, "I don't know yet. She seems ok. Except I never know if she's talking to me or one of the potted plants around us."
Rachel was more satisfied than she probably should be at that answer. She smiled and told Santana to have fun and then exited to the living room.
20 minutes later Santana was gone. Kurt showed up for their usual nightly study session.
"Where's Santana?"
"She's on a date with the whore."
"Okay, you really need to stop calling every girl who gets some sort of solo performance over you a whore. They aren't being paid $50 to give the performance a hand job." Rachel rolled her eyes and then opened one of their text books. "And by the way, if Santana is on a date then what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be following her and hiding in the bushes outside the restaurant, snapping more photos for your collection?"
"Oh stop it! I took those photos for research purposes! And I don't have to follow her. I know she's at Vynl with Mindy and she's wearing that shirt I like that exposes enough cleavage to say 'I'm not a slut but given the right circumstance I can be one for you' ...and stop looking at me like that, I'm not stalking her! She lives here. She asked me how she looked before she left."
"Yes, yes. Before she left in that shirt you like."
"Whatever, lets just work on the assignment. I've been making some recordings in the bathroom since it has the best acoustics."
"Why cant you just masturbate in there like everyone else?"
"Oh my god, seriously? Is there some 'rules of the bathroom' manual everyone got when they hit puberty?"
"I guess you'll find out when you hit puberty."
"Hilarious coming from a male who can sing soprano. If all you're going to do is insult me you can go home. I already live with my very own human demotivational poster meme."
"You're right, I'm sorry. I should have been able to sense that you're jealous of Mindy."
Rachel slammed down her textbook. "What? I am so not jealous of Mindy. I'm a better singer, a better dancer, and a better actress. The instructors just haven't taken notice yet but it's only a matter of time before I'm the star at NYADA."
Kurt nodded his head and bit his lip, "I meant jealous because she's on a date with Santana."
They worked on their assignment together without talking about Kurt's comment. A few hours went by and Kurt had left. Santana came home shortly after he was gone.
"Hey, how'd it go?"
"It went okay. I don't think there will be a third date though."
Rachel was screaming on the inside but put on what she feels is her best acting face so Santana wouldn't know she was happy about this. "Awww, what happened?"
"Oh don't act like you aren't thrilled. I know you think she's some bitch stealing your thunder."
"Whore, actually." They both laughed lightly then Rachel continued. "You know. I never used to speak about people this way. I've been spending so much time helping you be more respectful and instead I think you rubbed off on me."
Santana raised an eyebrow. "Wanky."
Rachel lightly blushed at the innuendo.
"Seriously though, I guess I just wasn't feeling it. She's not really my type. I just figured I'd use her as practice and work my way up to asking someone really amazing to the Nyada Social next month."
"It's not nice to use people, Santana."
"It's not nice to call people whores either, Rachel."
"I call it like I see it."
Santana perked an eyebrow up. "Wow, maybe you really have gotten a little Santana in you."
Rachel smirked back at her. "Wanky."