Déjà Vu

"Masaka…" Impossible… Logan's voice came out strangled, and a ball of grief went to his throat. An image of Daken when he first appeared burned in his mind, lost and forgotten, as he had been when awoke without knowing who he was. "Professor…is Akira…is he…my son…?" Logan forced himself to look at Charles Xavier. He found that the mutant seemed impassive, but Logan knew the Professor well enough to know that this was a serious matter.

"Yes," he said quietly. At last, Logan could feel the Professor's presence fade in his mind. "Akira is your son, Logan. I'm sorry." The mutant's pale blue eyes stared at him, full with pity. Logan drew his gaze away from him angrily. I don't need pity.

"Why have my memories returned?" Logan mumbled vaguely. He remembered the warmth and tenderness that he and that Japanese woman had. "You told me that before this Stryker bullshit that I had to let my mind heal. You told me that it was protecting me!" Logan's monotone became a snarl sharp with violated trust. "Why are my memories returning now?"

"Not all of your memories, Logan." The Professor cautioned. "The memories that are returning are your memories of Japan…and of your wife, Itsu."

"What happened to her, Professor?" When the Professor didn't speak, Logan felt a lump in his throat again, and he felt his eyes sting. "She's dead, isn't she?" He found it odd that he was grieving for a woman who he only remembered vaguely.

"Yes, Logan. She died a long time ago." Without waiting for Logan to respond, he added, "Akira blames you for her death."

Logan narrowed his eyes. The young mutant had seemed indifferent to him, and now the Professor believed that Akira blamed him for his mother's death. Rage pulsed through his veins as he remembered the subtle hints that Akira had given him: he had called him a caged animal, and said that he was vicious. "Wakari –" he started to say, but then he stopped himself. "I don't understand," Logan growled.

"I don't understand either, Logan." The Professor wheeled toward the presumably younger mutant and touched his mind again. You are going to have to talk with your son, you understand?

Logan nodded. His mind was somehow still on Itsu, and he only heard only half of what the Professor had said. I guess I will have to talk to my son, or our son, Itsu. He left and closed the door to the Professor's office without a word.

Logan could sense something was wrong as he walked down the hallway to Rouge's room. There was a tension in the air, and he sniffed. He recognized Akira's scent, musty with anger and bewilderment. Before he could open the door, Rouge appeared before him. Her eyes were red, as if she had been crying, and she looked away from Logan, guilt in her eyes.

"He's gone, Logan," she cried to her father-figure. "Bobby and I have no idea where he went."

"Is he gone from the mansion?" Logan asked. He could actually hear her heartbeat with his animal-like senses, beating frantically with stress.

"Yes," Rouge sighed, and ran her fingers through her long hair. "I don't know why Akira left, Logan. Bobby was just talking about you, about how you lost your memory."

That information would definitely piss him off, Logan thought grimly. The guy thinks that I murdered his mother, only to find out that I don't even remember anything fifteen years past.

"Logan." Rouge's voice brought back him back to the present. Now her voice sounded as grim as his thoughts. "His mutation is similar to yours; Akira can heal from any wound rapidly, and has animal-like senses. He even has claws." Her voice was reduced to a whisper. "Please be careful. He could be anywhere."

Logan smirked, and slightly ruffled her hair. Rouge jumped slightly back, surprised at his rare display of affection. "Don't worry, kid." He said with confidence. "I'll find him. Besides, you know I can't be careful."

"Akira!" Logan had wandered outside after walking in circles around the gigantic mansion. He hadn't known that the place was so big, and wondered if Akira chose to run away from the mansion so the Professor couldn't hear his thoughts, hence finding him. "Akira!" Logan was now on the other side of the grounds, and was beginning to wonder if his son could also disappear. If that's true, then he definitely didn't get that from me, Logan wryly thought. He stopped at the base of a tree, and sat beneath the shade for a minute. He wondered what other memories he had of Itsu, his forgotten wife. Logan hadn't even remembered her face until the Professor looked into his mind. He saw her face now in his mind. Her face was a beautiful shade of milky white from the lack of sun, and long ebony black hair that went down to her back. Logan remembered her loving smile that she always had given him, the smile that had made him fall in love in with her the first place. He wondered now if he still loved her, or if she was a forgotten memory. Logan felt the gentle breeze stroke his beard, and he mused that it felt almost like a gentle caress that he would give to Itsu. He felt someone calling his name, "Logan," it said. The voice was female, and he felt a tug on his heart, as if he knew that voice from before somewhere. Then suddenly he was blinded by a searing pain in his skull. He gritted his teeth to not scream, but a faint moan escaped him. He collapsed into unconscious on the ground as another memory took root.

He was running. He was running faster than he had when he and Victor had fought in the wars. "Kayla!" Fear controlled his movements, and fought the urge to scream in rage at his brother's sign; a dead wolverine. Logan wondered – while jumping over rocks and tripping slightly through the grass – how Victor had known the story between the wolverine and his lover. Kayla had told him that story. It was a story for him alone, a story to show how much she loved him as he was, not of how he used to be. Logan stopped short, gasping with breath at the sight of his truck – their truck – standing lopsided along the road. "Kayla!" He called. His heartbeat became frantic as a sense of dread overcame him. He slowly walked over toward the opening of the clearing, hoping that it wasn't true, hoping that he wouldn't find –

Logan held her body in his arms. He felt the soft silk of her kimono in his arms, slick with blood. He forced himself to look at her face. The beautiful eyes of his wife were closed, never to open again. A deep wound spread from her neck to her swollen abdomen. Blood, her blood, soaked through her kimono even thought she stopped breathing. Itsu's blood covered his hands. He wiped the blood off her mouth, staining his own kimono with more blood. Logan couldn't speak. He couldn't move. He could only stare at Itsu's beautiful and now dead face, dead because of him, and of their unborn child who would not see the world. Tears blurred his gaze until he couldn't see her face anymore, and he held her close as he broke out in sobs.

Logan awoke to find his neck stiff and his mind numb. He even found it hard to stand, and stumbled. Kayla…Itsu… Logan thought of the women he loved who had died because of him. He stood with unsteady legs and looked around at the bright sunlight. Somehow the sunlight seemed dull and it happiness deceiving.

"Omae wa me ga sameru da?" Are you awake?

Logan looked up. Akira was standing in front of him.